Fear of Driving

gagiteebo

I'm learning to drive at the minute and to be honest I'm finding it very tough. I'm usually quite a confident person but there is something about driving that really scares me and I can't seem to get over it

I've had a good few lessons and when the instructor is in the car I'm fine, I suppose I know he has the pedals on his side as well. When I'm on my own, I just panic!

My biggest problem is stopping at junctions for a few seconds....I just start sweating and am afraid I'm going to roll back or that I won't take off quick enough....roundabouts aren't my biggest friend either.

I see people in their 60's and 70's driving around, no bother to them, it actually seems to be no problem to everyone else. My friends and family think I'm being silly but it scares me.

At this rate I don't see me ever passing my test

Has anyone ever felt like this? Any tips on how to get over nerves or how to get over the stopping at junctions fear?

Thanks guys :pac:

af_thefragile

The other day I was driving in the city (to make matters worse during rush hour!) and I was absolutely terrified!!!

In the beginning, when I first started to drive I was very scared too. I never really went over 3rd gear and 50kmph over the first month. But with practice I got more confident and now I can drive around without much problem. Just as long as I'm not caught in between mad city center traffic!

But I'm sure I'll get over that once I start driving in the city too.

So really its all down to practice. The more you practice, the more experience you'll gain and the more confident you'll get behind the wheel!

af_thefragile

gagiteebo wrote: »

My biggest problem is stopping at junctions for a few seconds....I just start sweating and am afraid I'm going to roll back or that I won't take off quick enough....roundabouts aren't my biggest friend either.


Has anyone ever felt like this? Any tips on how to get over nerves or how to get over the stopping at junctions fear?

At junctions, if you're sacred that the car is going to roll back, pull up the hand brake. While taking off, get clutch at the biting point, give the car good loads of revs (above 1500rpm) before you let go of the hand brake. The car should not roll back if you do it this way.

You can also learn to "balance" the car at its biting point. Find a steep-ish bit of empty road, stop there. Pull up the hand brake, get the clutch to its biting point. Leave it there with enough revs to keep the engine from cutting out.
Let go of the hand brake and your car should stay in place or should move slightly forwards.
If its moving backwards, give it a bit more revs while letting go of the clutch slowly.

You can also do this on flat ground. Stop, press the brake, let out the clutch slowly and feel at what point the car just begins to "flex" a little. This is the biting point. Let go of the brake at this point and the car should roll forward.

Practice this a few times and you should be able to get familiar with the clutch on your car. You should know where exactly the biting point is and how many revs you need to give it to stop it from rolling backwards.

And also obviously you're gonna practice this while in 1st gear. Or reverse too, if you wanna challenge yourself a little more.

Once you've learnt to do this, you won't feel the need of using the handbrake at junctions anymore and you can just use the brake and accelerator instead to stop and move off.

But remember when you stop on a hill, always use the handbrake.

challengemaster

It's only natural to be a little afraid of making mistakes when learning something new, especially learning to drive

When I started learning, I think maybe my 2nd or 3rd lesson I ended up having to do the worst hill start ever. Wasn't even planned! Car parked on my side of the road, on a really really steep hill with a flow of traffic in the other direction and cars behind me... that really scared the crap outta me, especially when I let the car roll back a bit. Managed it after panicking for a minute though...

and now, I've got my full license and driving is actually something that relaxes me a lot. You'll always have scary moments though, when the idiots on the road do something stupid, but you will get over that initial fear eventually

MascotDec85

gagiteebo wrote: »

I'm learning to drive at the minute and to be honest I'm finding it very tough. I'm usually quite a confident person but there is something about driving that really scares me and I can't seem to get over it

I've had a good few lessons and when the instructor is in the car I'm fine, I suppose I know he has the pedals on his side as well. When I'm on my own, I just panic!

My biggest problem is stopping at junctions for a few seconds....I just start sweating and am afraid I'm going to roll back or that I won't take off quick enough....roundabouts aren't my biggest friend either.

I see people in their 60's and 70's driving around, no bother to them, it actually seems to be no problem to everyone else. My friends and family think I'm being silly but it scares me.

At this rate I don't see me ever passing my test

Has anyone ever felt like this? Any tips on how to get over nerves or how to get over the stopping at junctions fear?

Thanks guys :pac:

Firstly, you aren't being silly. Human nature is such that some things scare some of us and not others. Some people take to driving like a duck to water and others need to work harder at it. Your fear is rational because you are worried about having an accident.

So, during your lessons you are fine. You are with someone who's trained to teach you properly. Yes, the ADI does have pedals but believe me, the last thing we want to do is actually have to use them. Do you drive a car unaccompanied?

So, you're coming to a junction with a STOP sign and you want to turn left. On your approach you have looked in your rear view mirror, next:
Left Mirror
Left Signal
Centre Mirror
Start to brake gently
Gently steer left to come closer to the kerb

Now the road markings at a STOP have a solid line across your lane where you have to stop. There's also a continuous white line which divides each side of the road. As a general rule try to be changing into 2nd gear when you reach this solid dividing line.

Continue braking gently until you reach the STOP line.
STOP (keep your foot on the brake)
Select 1st gear
If it is safe to go, gently bring the clutch to the biting point.
As you feel the biting point engage lift your foot off the brake and move around the corner.

What is your specific issue with roundabouts? Is it the observations? Is it which lanes you should be using and when to indicate?

gagiteebo

MascotDec85 wrote: »

What is your specific issue with roundabouts? Is it the observations? Is it which lanes you should be using and when to indicate?

Thank you all for the tips

With roundabouts it's everything you've mentioned above...when I'm with my instructor he'll warn me as I'm coming up to them what to do otherwise I get into a blind panic.

Other drivers can be quite impatient and forget that it doesn't come easily to everyone...I was stopped at a junction once and tool a while to take off and the car behind started beeping his horn non-stop :rolleyes:

MascotDec85

gagiteebo wrote: »

Thank you all for the tips

With roundabouts it's everything you've mentioned above...when I'm with my instructor he'll warn me as I'm coming up to them what to do otherwise I get into a blind panic.

Other drivers can be quite impatient and forget that it doesn't come easily to everyone...I was stopped at a junction once and tool a while to take off and the car behind started beeping his horn non-stop :rolleyes:

So really it's practice you need on roundabouts as well as learning the procedure in dealing with them off by heart. As I often say, you don't need to drive a car to go through the sequence of events that you physically go through when you are driving. Sitting in a quiet place visualising a scenario and talking yourself through it over and over again will help you learn it inside out

Watch the video from the Rules of the Road website on roundabouts http://www.rotr.ie/videos/roundabouts_70.mpg it's pretty helpful.

As for impatient drivers....ignore them. Try not to let them affect you or you'll get flustered and that's the time you are likely to make an error. Them blasting the horn at you won't get you out any quicker. Move off when you know it's safe. These people really are muppets.

Good luck

NukaCola

gagiteebo wrote: »

When I'm on my own, I just panic!

Do you mean on your own without an experienced driver with you?

LilMsss

gagiteebo

You're not the only one. Driving can be terrifying, not only because you have to rely on yourself and your reactions and control of the car, but because you have other drivers and hazards to contend with.

Like you, I am very confident in most areas of my life, but driving does not seem to be one of them! I find that I second-guess myself a lot and hestitate, which can stress me out even more.

It's about being comfortable being in control of the car and confident enough to know the correct procedure, e.g. turning left at a busy junction, or approaching a roundabout. I'm definitely improving but I'm finding it depends on who is in the car with me.

I'm fine with my instructor, although more conscious of minor mistakes, but have found certain well-meaning family members to be the worst people to go out in the car with.

I have one family member in particular who is quite an experienced driver, and when I'm out with him, I feel very comfortable, both on the road and in my own abilities and tend to do fine in busy traffic, or even potentially tricky situations. However, I have been in the car with a different accompanying driver who proceeded to shout at me for the entire journey over minor things, which meant I was a crumpled mess and couldn't even drive home!

I suppose it boils down to having confidence in yourself, and realising that you can't control what other drivers are doing, only what you are doing. This extends to who you choose to go out driving with. If it is someone who is over-critical or doesn't make you feel comfortable then you're not going to have a positive driving experience.

Jellybaby1

I learned to drive in my early 30's but as I didn't have a car had to wait until I finally bought one seven years ago just before my 50th birthday. The elderly people you mention drive extremely well because they have been driving for 30-40 or more years. Just because someone is old does not mean they are stupid, but I know you really didn't mean that.

I also was like you, terrified on the road, sweating, hyperventilating on hills, etc. I even took a refresher driving course before I got my car but the instructor said I was just wasting my money, all I needed was practice.

I'm in my late 50's and been driving for seven years now. The only problem I have is finding my way to places. I'm a lot more relaxed and have no problems driving. It will be the same for you. Practice, practice, and more practice. Soon it will be second nature and your hands and feet will automatically know what to do. Don't worry, relax, keep driving and stay safe. Good luck.

gagiteebo

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

The elderly people you mention drive extremely well because they have been driving for 30-40 or more years. Just because someone is old does not mean they are stupid, but I know you really didn't mean that.

Oh God no that's not what I meant...I should have phrased that better. I meant people who just learned to drive in their 60's etc and are flying around with no bother Fair play to them!

It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels or felt like this! I'll keep at it until I get it anyway, the carrot at the end of the stick is having the independence of your own car. Relying on others for lifts etc is a pain

Thanks for the support everyone!

red barron

its natural to be scared when driving after all you are potentially in a killing machine ...i mean a ton of metal going at around 60 kph is a pretty dangerous piece of equipment well capable of killing any one.

that aside driving is a life skill and you just have to not let yourself gwet bullied on the road by other drivers.

it seems to me your afraid the other drivers may peep or shout or you will come across as a learner.

the truth of the matter is all irish driver are pretty bad just dont get bullied and take your time while learning its not a race .

you'll be fine with time

MascotDec85

red barron wrote: »

its natural to be scared when driving after all you are potentially in a killing machine ...i mean a ton of metal going at around 60 kph is a pretty dangerous piece of equipment well capable of killing any one.

that aside driving is a life skill and you just have to not let yourself gwet bullied on the road by other drivers.

it seems to me your afraid the other drivers may peep or shout or you will come across as a learner.

the truth of the matter is all irish driver are pretty bad just dont get bullied and take your time while learning its not a race .

you'll be fine with time

I think the best advice here is not to react when people try to bully, which invariably they will.

The point is defensive driving, not aggressive driving.

NukaCola

red barron wrote: »

the truth of the matter is all irish driver are pretty bad

What an incredibly ignorant thing to say...

BumbleBee123

BumbleBee123 wrote: »

What an incredibly ignorant thing to say...

It's not really ignorant. It's an assumption you should make. EVERYONE is a bad driver. Don't take a gamble.

NukaCola

Rex Scary Selenium wrote: »

It's not really ignorant. It's an assumption you should make. EVERYONE is a bad driver. Don't take a gamble.

Well actually yes it is. Your taking what he said out of context. He didn't say you have to assume everyone is a bad driver he said all irish drivers are bad. That is an ignorant thing to say....

Midnight_EG

BumbleBee123 wrote: »

Well actually yes it is. Your taking what he said out of context. He didn't say you have to assume everyone is a bad driver he said all irish drivers are bad. That is an ignorant thing to say....

Saying all Irish are bad drivers would assume they fall under the 'Everyone' category, and then you have to assume they're a bad driver. Is this ignorant?

Do I have to assume everyone is a good driver and it'll get me over the fear of driving*? Assuming everyone is a bad driver is the best way to go about learning to drive, it makes you observe a lot more and means many more thought processes are running through your head.


*I don't have a fear of driving, just relating it to OP.

NukaCola

Not all irish drivers are bad drivers.

While driving then assuming everyone is a bad driver is a good method because you prepare yourself for idiots and worse case scenarios.

However Red Barron never said "assume everyone is a bad driver" he just said every irish driver is pretty bad, which i disagree with and think is an ignorant thing to say. Do you agree that every irish driver is bad? If so then thats your own opinion, but IMO an ignorant one!...

DitterbugLeen

Just keep driving... like anything in life it's all about adapting to new situations.

I'm learning how to drive too... terrifying... but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it

twowheelsonly

Back on topic...

OP, for the moment, when you're not with your Instructor, only drive on roads that you know. Drive as often as you can, drag somebody with you and use a familiar route that includes as many everyday 'obstacles' as possible. Left and Right turns, a roundabout, a junction on a hill/slope, traffic lights etc. Drive the same route incessantly so that you know which lane you should be in, road positioning and suitable speed. If neccessary do so late or early in the day when the roads are quieter. Getting to know the road will give you one less thing to worry about.
As you progress, keep using the same route (at varying times) and you will notice that you become quicker at decision making and less nervous about turns and stops. You should notice a massive improvement within a week or two at the most.
As you move on from there you'll come to appreciate that all these 'obstacles' are the same - just in different places - and your attitude to them should be the same. Treat them with caution but not with fear.
IMO, a lot of the issue with driving is getting the brain up to speed. There's so much going on and so much to be taken in that confusion can take over in a flash and that's when you lose it. Using a familiar scenario cosistently will aid no end with familiarising the brain with procedures that have to be taken.

Best of luck in any case - in the future you'll be wondering why you ever felt the need for posting this!!!