Good Manners & Chivalry - Are They Dead?

Coriolanus · 13-03-2010 8:14pm

Where's the egalitarian "I am mannerly to all I come across, man or woman, until they earn my wrath, then I plot endlessly and futilely to bring about their downfall!" option? :mad:

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 8:17pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry?

Did you not see this in the OP?

OutlawPete wrote: »

Or was she just plain rude? (both sexes can be guilty of that)

beanyb · 13-03-2010 8:17pm

Count me as another one that thinks holding doors open has nothing to do with chivalry. It's just plain old good manners! I hold doors open for people following me through it, and I think most people do the same, regardless of gender.

alanajane · 13-03-2010 8:19pm

Well personally speaking I love it when a man is chivilorous (is that a word?)towards me, I really appreciate it be it holding the door, giving me a seat or whatever. And I will always say thank you, its not lost on every woman. So a very big thank you to all ye gentlemen.

Biggins · 13-03-2010 8:21pm

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

When we can't return a smile or a "thanks" for someone being nice to us, we really have become a sad person indeed.
Ok, we can all have our "off" days but rudeness is just that, rudeness and it shows a lack of respect for fellow human beings.
Coming out more so with an uncalled for rude remark only confirms the persons underlying true character.

Dudess · 13-03-2010 8:32pm

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

OutlawPete wrote: »

Or was she just plain rude? (both sexes can be guilty of that)

Bingo.

Have radical feminists actually done woman a disfavour?

Yep. And by god is it pounced upon.

Do you like it when a man stands up when you enter a room?

That to me is OTT - not because I think it's sexist, simply because I think it's too much fuss and I'm not into being fussed over by strangers. However, to offer up a seat for a very elderly person (not just woman) or a person who's injured/feeling ill, or a heavily pregnant woman - possibly with one or two children in tow - is just being considerate and thoughtful.

When it comes to far less extreme stuff, like holding doors, offering help carrying stuff etc, I'm very appreciative - it's just a nice, mannerly gesture, which I'd assume men would offer men as well as women. I also do the very same - it's not something that should be only specific to men (I appreciate men are generally stronger physically though, so that's obviously a factor when it comes to helping with carrying heavy stuff).
However, pulling out the chair before a meal, holding her coat, dashing 'round to open the taxi door - well I don't think these are sexist, but I do think they are REALLY cheesy and unnecessary...

Biggins wrote: »

* I hold doors open for ladies, old folk, wheelchairs and buggies and pregnant ladies to same just a few.

What about men though?

I'll go down holding a door open!

Raar! Is that what they're calling it nowadays...?!

:pac:

Biggins · 13-03-2010 8:36pm

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Dudess wrote: »

What about men though?

Same sometimes, old folk , the weak or infirm. Its the least I can do, thats all.

Raar! Is that what they're calling it nowadays...?

:pac:

Cheap Thrills! · 13-03-2010 8:39pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

At work the other day a man got caught holding a door open for 6 women that all marched through it gabbing away obliviously.

Not one of them said thanks. I was number 7, I expected him to swing it in my face after the brutal display of rudeness from the previous 6.

I sheepishly went through thanking him but feeling ashamed on behalf of womankind.

rubadub · 13-03-2010 8:45pm

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry? if it was an elderly man who'd walked through the door without thanking you, would you be asking if chivalry is dead, or would you just be complaining that some people are rude?.

Thats what I was wondering too

OutlawPete wrote: »

Did you not see this in the OP?

I see that and still wonder would you have brought up chivalry for a man not saying thanks. I don't know why you are asking if chivalry is dead from that episode. If you were in the place and saw a man letting a door slam in a womans face then it might be reason to ask if chivalry is dead. You did open it so I do not see where the lack of chivalry is. Question is really if manners & common decency are a thing of the past.

Dudess · 13-03-2010 8:48pm

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

Biggins wrote: »

:pac:

Would you resort to pulling out though? A lot of women find that very irritating and uncomfortable.

We can pull out our own chairs thanks! :pac:

plein de force · 13-03-2010 8:49pm

i hold doors open for anyone whether they be men or women

i held it open for one stuck up cow who caught me on an extremely bad day i had had, she was fairly attractive and pretty around my age

she said " it won't get you anywhere being all gentlemanly i dont find it attractive" to which i replied "i don't give a **** if you find it attractive or not, i'm gay, not going to be interested in you anyway you hoity toity bitch"

i couldn't believe i'd said it as i normally wouldn't say boo to a ghost, it was like some sort of outer body experience that i was that nasty

Abi · 13-03-2010 8:49pm

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

Biggins wrote: »

We luv each other yet again!
More huggies please!

Don't start you

Lesbionics aren't into that mushy shoite you're into. Dirty, sick and twisted ftw*

*Mite just be me...

OutlawPete wrote: »

Tongues ftw

Oh Pete... jizzed in mah pants just then :pac:

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

If I have to listen to Beyonce prancing around sh1ting on about independence then you can open your own fucking jar of jam.

Beyonce does my facking face in.

*sings sarcastically*

If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it... Pay mah own bills...

stfu already

Herbal Deity · 13-03-2010 8:50pm

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

If I have to listen to Beyonce prancing around sh1ting on about independence then you can open your own fucking jar of jam.

I think this is the best post I have ever seen on boards.

Nodin · 13-03-2010 8:53pm

Yes and it's Men who are to blame.

OutlawPete wrote: »

In town (.............) rosebud

I still do it, even though I know about half of them should have it closed again when they're about half way through....Too auld to change now....

The Pontiac · 13-03-2010 8:53pm

If I ever make a pot of tea or coffee I'd always serve the ladies first. The same with serving dinners, going to the bar for a round etc.. Sometimes when I'm doing it I wonder if I should be doing it at all really. But I'd feel ever more uncomfortable if I didn't do it as a lady might take offence.. but probably wouldn't really. But I'm not sure, so I just do it anyway..

Dudess · 13-03-2010 8:55pm

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

When I'm helping my mother with the dinner, she always insists on serving "the boys" first though...

Herbal Deity · 13-03-2010 9:13pm

<Ollie> wrote: »

If I ever make a pot of tea or coffee I'd always serve the ladies first. The same with serving dinners, going to the bar for a round etc.. Sometimes when I'm doing it I wonder if I should be doing it at all really. But I'd feel ever more uncomfortable if I didn't do it as a lady might take offence.. but probably wouldn't really. But I'm not sure, so I just do it anyway..

Things like this I just don't get.

There're manners and there are silly protocols that seem to exist merely for the sake of having silly protocols...

ascanbe · 13-03-2010 9:28pm

I just use basic good manners when dealing with people in everyday situations; gender doesn't come into it.
The only time i'll actually go out of my way, i.e. getting up to pull out a chair, giving up my seat on a bus/train etc, is when it is an elderly person or a clearly pregnant lady.
In the case of the pregnant lady, that's not really chivalry, as any decent person, regardless of gender, would do the same.
The only time i've ever found myself questioning what i should or shouldn't do has been in relation to age not gender; sometimes i've been about to get up and give up my seat for an older person, someone who seems like they need it, and thought twice as it could be construed as an insult.
I'd especially think twice if it was an older man; would half expect him to be insulted and say 'Heh, I can still stand, dickhead'.
Gender comes into it there. i suppose; but only in terms of how i percieve the likely reaction.

The Pontiac · 13-03-2010 9:33pm

Herbal Deity wrote: »

Things like this I just don't get.

There're manners and there are silly protocols that seem to exist merely for the sake of having silly protocols...

I agree it probably is a silly protocol really. But I'd feel a bit uneasy if I didn't do it tbh.. I'm sure most guys do the same thing. Or maybe I'm just the perfect gentleman.

ascanbe · 13-03-2010 9:33pm

<Ollie> wrote: »

If I ever make a pot of tea or coffee I'd always serve the ladies first. The same with serving dinners, going to the bar for a round etc.. Sometimes when I'm doing it I wonder if I should be doing it at all really. But I'd feel ever more uncomfortable if I didn't do it as a lady might take offence.. but probably wouldn't really. But I'm not sure, so I just do it anyway..

Yeah, actually, all things being even, if i'm going to get a round, for instance, i would tend to get the ladies drinks first; just seems like the right thing to do.
I guess i'm not as inured to this whole chivalry thing as i thought i was.

minidazzler · 13-03-2010 9:38pm

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

For the most part, yeah it is dead, I still try to be nice though.

I will hold the door, help a friend with her coat, and be generally courteous.

I try to cut down on my cursing in front of women, but that to me means just not using the word cnut if I can help it!

I don't do it to be chivalrous though, I do it because I don't see a reason not to!

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 9:46pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

rubadub wrote: »

I don't know why you are asking if chivalry is dead from that episode.

I am a man, she is a woman and I got the distinct impression she thought I was being chivalrous (I wasn't) and that is why she behaved like a bitch.

There is be a chivalry aspect to a guy holding a door for a woman whether it's done for that reason or not.

Would she have thanked a woman? Guess we'll never know and I said in the post, she may have just been a rude bitch.

I also asked the following:

OutlawPete wrote: »

Do you like it when a man stands up when you enter a room? Offers you their seat on the Luas? (etc etc)

So I am not just talking about one woman's actions, I am referring to chivalry in general.

I also ask in The Poll which sex people find ruder, as in general, I find woman to be far ruder.

As a female poster has just said, women can walk through a held open door and not even think about the person holding it open.

Again, not ALL women, obviously - as the poster said thanks and she's a woman, a nice one at that

Of course I will come across Men who will not have manners in society but not nearly as many as I do women.

I find younger women in particular to be quite bad mannered, whereas young lads don't seem to be as much.

Something they should teach at school perhaps as their parents obviously aren't doing a good job of it.

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 9:53pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Abitar wrote: »

Oh Pete... jizzed in mah pants just then :pac:

Must be our lucky day, got a Tweet that made me do the same

Herbal Deity · 13-03-2010 9:58pm

Where's the option in the poll if you think the death of chivalry is a good thing and that gender should not be a factor in general good manners?

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 10:13pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Herbal Deity wrote: »

Where's the option in the poll if you think the death of chivalry is a good thing and that gender should not be a factor in general good manners?

The last one, that's what Facekicker thinks

miss5 · 13-03-2010 10:19pm

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

I think that woman was incredibly rude, You were only being courteous.

Teutorix · 13-03-2010 10:34pm

I'm nice for the sake of being nice, I wouldn't lable it chivalry, merely common goodness and respect.

It should be an instinct not a chore.

Capt'n Midnight · 13-03-2010 10:50pm

Back in the days of knights chivalry only applied to the upper classes/royalty , the commoners were butchered / sold as slaves in their masses.

Dave! · 13-03-2010 11:02pm

Poll is too complicated so I didn't vote

I don't think it's dead though -- most people are still polite in my experience.

Holding open the door, saying thank you, etc., is all still common

Obviously kids and teens are c*nts who don't bother, but that's always been the case tbh

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 11:16pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Dave! wrote: »

Poll is too complicated so I didn't vote

"Complicated Poll Choices", ouch, that hurt ..

No new material Dave? 'Poor Poll choices'?

You can do better .. no wait, you can't.

Dave! wrote: »

Those poll options are pretty poor

bazmaiden · 13-03-2010 11:18pm

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

OutlawPete wrote: »

"Complicated Poll Choices", ouch, that hurt ..

No new material Dave? Poor Polls choices?

You can do better .. no wait, you can't.

http://nwf2009.webs.com/Cat-YouJustGotServed-727855.jpg

Dave! · 13-03-2010 11:18pm

Taking my passing comments a bit personally Pete... You'll get no trouble from me, just work on your polls and we're sweet as

OutlawPete · 13-03-2010 11:35pm

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Dave! wrote: »

Taking my passing comments a bit personally Pete...

Nope, not at all.

You critiqued the Poll choices and I'm just pointing out you make a habit of it is all.

Dave! wrote: »

work on your polls and we're sweet

You wanna what?? :eek:

Good Manners & Chivalry - Are They Dead?

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