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Not being picked as a House Mate :0(
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17-03-2010 2:17pm#1Just wondering if anyone has ever had the dissapointment of going to view a room and then not being picked as the new flat/house mate.
Man, the rejection
Its like being dumped. :pac:
Any tips on how to come across as the right candidate to share a house/appartment?0
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When I moved to Dublin first back in 2000, that was the standard, especially in areas like Rathmines. There could be 20+ people going to see a room and it was like an interview process. I soon decided that no room was worth going through that over and over again for and decided to extend my search range and was the only person that was seeing the first room I looked at further out and got it.
BTW I rented a room in an owner occupied house...and never left
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Any tips on how to come across as the right candidate to share a house/appartment?
Its really tough. House hunting sucks. You are right about it being an aduition.
I have been on both sides plently of times now. I have had to reject perfectly lovely people as housemates for flimsy reasons. Plus I have been rejected by my fair share too.
Often the housemates are looking for a certain type. E.g. another female and you are just not female enough for them. Try no to take the rejection to heart. Its tough admittedly.
Basically me advice is too be as natural as possible and as honest as you can. Try to get talking to as many housemates as you can and look to make connections e.g. you both support ManU, you both lived in Oz for year.
And remember, its as much about you finding the right houses mates as them finding you. Also good mates are the most important aspect of renting. Its more important than en-suite rooms, parking etc etc. No point having a nice flat if you have to share with dicks.
Good luck the hunting.0 -
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Maybe it's just me, but that last line with the winky smile just screams "sexytime"!
Anyway, on topic, that's why I'm looking for a decent 1 bed. I refuse to live in a studio again, it was nothing but misery.
Almost...a year later he declared his love for me...and 10 years on we're married a number of years
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Just wondering if anyone has ever had the dissapointment of going to view a room and then not being picked as the new flat/house mate.
Man, the rejection
Its like being dumped. :pac:
Any tips on how to come across as the right candidate to share a house/appartment?
dont bring your mum with you next time :cool:0 -
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I've only viewed two houses ... and got offered both. Having to "reject" the one I wasn't interested in was hard ... I felt really guilty (because I went to their house, had a cup of tea with them etc ... then later told them I wouldn't be taking the room)
The whole process can be quite stressful, I think ... Looking for a house, looking for new house mates.
Rooms in my house were on Daft recently and I had to "interview" potential house mates. The amount of response I got was unbelievable! It was awful, having the job of telling people that they weren't suitable, they weren't what we were looking for, we'd offered the room to someone else etc ... because the bottom line is you're giving them a PFO and offending them or upsetting them is obviously something you don't want to do.Any tips on how to come across as the right candidate to share a house/appartment?
From my experience:
- Be friendly
It's important to be friendly and make an effort with the person/s showing you around the house.
Be chatty, engage in conversation. If you're unsure about what to talk about, start with basics - ask questions about the house, or relating to the people living there, to get the ball rolling.
"How long have you lived here?" "What's the neighbourhood like?" etc.
- Act relaxed
Even if you're nervous or worried about out staying your welcome, don't act like you're in a rush to leave - that can come across as rude. If you're offered a cup of tea, have one! Sit down and have a bit of conversation with the people living in the house - it's as much about you getting to know them as it is about them getting to know you.
- Have positive things to say about yourself and your job
If you're asked about what you do, what your hobbies / interests are, make sure you have plenty to talk about and that you speak in a positive and quite confident manner. People tend to respond well to those who are enthusiastic!
- Try to make your potential house mates laugh
I think showing you're relaxed enough to make a joke or two works well. If you can make the people in the house laugh or smile, it's always a good sign - and they'll tend to remember you for it.
Obviously, make jokes off the cuff, rather than remembering a couple and reciting them at random
- Be complimentary about the house
If you like something in particular about the house or the room you're viewing, mention it! If you come across as being interested or positive about the house, the people already living in there will tend to warm to you, because you've flattered them and their home.0 -
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pikachucheeks wrote: »- Try to make your potential house mates laugh
I think showing you're relaxed enough to make a joke or two works well. If you can make the people in the house laugh or smile, it's always a good sign - and they'll tend to remember you for it.
Obviously, make jokes off the cuff, rather than remembering a couple and reciting them at random
This made me laugh...
Potential flatmate: "So this is the kitchen".....
You: "PADDY IRISH MAN, PADDY ENGLISH MAN, PADDY......"
They'd defo remember that! im just kiddin id agree with you pikachucheeks, my mind started running away!
One bit of advice, even tho you might be desparate for a place dont jump at the first one you get offered. This is what I did cos I was fed up looking, it was a great house and I wasnt sure about the guy (its hard to know after chatting for 15 mins) but I figured im easy going, I can get on with anyone, and its a nice house. I had one other option a crappy house where the people seemed cool.
I went with the nice house cos I was fed up and wanted to live somewhere nice... that housemate is know the bane of my life, I hide away in my room
Only 2 weeks left and im moving in with a mate who took pity on me!0 -
One bit of advice, even tho you might be desparate for a place dont jump at the first one you get offered. This is what I did cos I was fed up looking, it was a great house and I wasnt sure about the guy... that housemate is know the bane of my life, I hide away in my room
I think that's an important piece of advice. The main problem people seem to have in house shares is difficult house mates and in my opinion, there's nothing worse than having an awkward atmosphere in a house.
When you go to view a place, if you insist of thinking of it as an interview for yourself, think of it also as an interview for the people you'll potentially be living with.
Don't be afraid to chat, ask a few questions etc so you can somewhat gauge whether you'll all be compatible, living under the same room.
I know that usually, you only get a few minutes for chit chat, but even that can be an indication as to what a person is like.
If you're looking for a house, it's well worth your while to put effort in to your search, because 'settling' for one might make you miserable, if you end up living with someone you don't get on with.
As someone previously mentioned, there's no point living in a house you're content with, if your house mates aren't nice people.
If you view a few houses, you can find the one that suits you best - in terms of both the house itself and the people living there.0 -
Actually yeah, I did have to make the decision a few times in Dublin and London, and I did make one or two errors of judgements - and yeah, they were down to me being "non judgemental" of people who were a bit "different" - and they ended up hell to live with.
Actually I have the dubious pleasure of working with somebody who doesn't like washing much (according to his ex wife who threw him out after the filth and stink got too bad) and actually, it might come as a shock to you, but poor personal hygiene does lead to problems like dandruff and smelling awful.
Actually I also have been a key decision maker on jobs, and basically process is not dissimilar except that for jobs you cannot ask anybody any leading questions that would indicate that you are prepared to discriminate against them on 9 grounds, but dress sense doesn't come into this, so yeah, we would categorically rule out somebody who didn't bother their hole dressing to expectations.
For anybody having to decide who will take a room, its more personal as you got to live with people at sometimes close quarters. If you're not a recreational drug user for example, you are hardly going to be comfortable living with one.
Ironically, I have a few piercings and tatoos myself, but easily concealed. People make huge judgements based on them, in my own experience, so easier to not reveal them when people don't know you.
The thing with dandruff is that it is not only down to lack of hygene. It may be due to diet, or funny enough, being too hygenic. Over washing causing your scalp to dry out.
I want to get into HRM but I think I will get my masters in that first Would you honestly deny somebody a job because they have dandruff? That's rediculous.
Obviously look respectable, dress up, groom yourself etc etc. But don't go to an interview with potential housemates pretending to be somebody else. Why would you do that? There is a serious diversity in our culture now, we cannot judge people by how they dress, if they have tattoos or peircings. That's really not an important thing, unless the tattoos are tasteless (racist etc etc)
Oh, by the way, why would anything come as a shock to me? Is that your attempt at getting personal and insulting me? It wasn't a very good attempt if that's the case.0 -
I nearly always get picked, used to get picked out of 20-30 people back when there were few houseshares. I didn't think I did anything special, but I suppose it's a good idea to be yourself (no point pretending to be something you're not just to get picked, as you won't be compatible with the people there), be friendly without being overbearing, ask sensible questions about the bills, heating, rent payment etc.
I've been on the 'judging panel' side a few times and these are things NOT to do:
*Not asking any questions at all. These people will then move in and then turn around and complain that they didn't know the shower wasn't electric or that no buses pass the end of the road. They didn't ask. You can't expect the renters to tell you every last thing, and certainly not the bad things. Also makes you look a bit dim if you can't think of a single sensible question to ask. There should be loads. Who are flatmates? What type of heating? How much are typical bills? Nearest bus/Luas/DART? How to pay rent and to whom? Parking space?
*Asking if it's OK to have parties at weekends/to have your OH stay over/your mum visit etc. I know people ask this because they want to be considerate and make sure it's all OK, but asking too many of these types of questions is a bit much for a viewing. It makes it sound like you could be a party animal or constantly have guests and that's not appealing to your future flatmates.
*Not talking. I've had so many people come over and not talk. Why on earth should we pick you to live with us if you can't even be bothered finding out who we are and letting us know who you are? A viewing is as much to meet flatmates as it is to look at the place. I'm not going to pick you if I have no idea what you're like.
*Arriving with a gang of mates. Gives really bad impression, makes it look like said mates will always be hanging around the house or that you're incapable of doing anything on your own. Fair enough to bring one other person if you're worried about safety or whatever, but no need for 3-4 people. Also makes it hard to talk, as it changes the dynamic and takes the focus off you.
*Being dirty and smelly looking
*Being miserable looking. Smile! Be friendly. Chat to the flatmates, talk about your hobbies, ask them about themselves! Nothing worse than someone who seems completely uninterested and will be shut in their room all the time.0 -
I actually think this thread is making me more nervous.
Have another viewing tomorrow.
Some of the ads on daft are nuts: (example) 'tenant must lOVE cats'/ 'tenant must respect themselves'.....very strange.
Actually, this is my favourite ad:
http://www.rent.ie/rooms-to-rent/Court-Apartments-Wilton-Place-Dublin-2/572050/Property Description
I am looking to share with someone who is mature and respects themselves. Ideally the new tenant will be house trained and tidy up after themselves. I am not a clean freak but its important that the new tenant has decent standards in relation to cleanliness.
Also good communications skills are important. I am looking for someone who prefers to do most of their socialising elsewhere though. Not looking for any party animals.0 -
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