Gay couples and fostering?

Boston

Discussion tend to focus on adoptions, but apparently gay couples can jointly foster children. Has anyone any experience of this, as it came as a complete surprise to me.

Chorcai

A while back we tought of doing this, but on advise from someone working with-in the adoption/foster care system we were told that one of us should go forward. He said that gay guys who are going for adoption/foster care are at the bottom of the pile for when they consider someone. In the end there was so many hoops to jump in and around we didn't even bother. Sadly it's still a straight thing/church moral driven system.

Boston

hmm. Supposedly (I'm hedging here) theres a large shortage of suitable couples though?

Aard

Yes, I have heard that there is a shortfall of homes for foster-children.

shoegirl

Boston wrote: »

Discussion tend to focus on adoptions, but apparently gay couples can jointly foster children. Has anyone any experience of this, as it came as a complete surprise to me.

Yes, two friends of mine have been doing it for years. You are treated just the same as a hetero couple.

azezil

Fostering and adopting are very different things. A foster child is cared for by another family but maintains their legal connection to their biological parents. With adoption they give up that legal right and become one of your own.

I know of 1 gay couple who have fostered kids.

hitlersson666

Considering I REALLY NEED A FOSTER FAMILY any would suit me but anyway I think a would like a lgb couple just once they were kind and loving like anyother family also I have heard of babies being fostered by gay couples and remaining there till there 18 and all has turned out fine

L1011

I know of a gay couple who fostered also, at a surprisingly young age (they were financially solvent and had their own house, which seemed to be the main requirements). Very early 20s at the time.

Boston

I'm kinda amazed that no campaign is pointing out that if gay couples are good enough to foster at risk children, then they are good enough to adopt. That said I would completely backfire if used for political fodder.

The_Minister

Boston wrote: »

hmm. Supposedly (I'm hedging here) theres a large shortage of suitable couples though?

I read this and then asked an acquaintance who works in family law.
Apparently there isn't really that much of a shortage, and most kids in long-term care are given a foster home.

Nevyn

Long term care, that doesn't include those in temporary placement or those waiting to be put in long term care. There is a shortage of foster care families, esp those who can take infants, very messed up kids and kids who need a short term or temp placement.

WiseMona

My husband and I just completed our Foster Carer Training (in Galway) before Christmas and have started to do respite care for a very young family (four children). There is a huge demand for foster families (West of the Shannon at least) and you will be happy to know that the HSE does not discriminate at all when it comes to choosing couples (gay/straight/married/divorced/age) as long as you can provide a loving and nurturing environment for the children.

Our group of new carers was extremely diverse and everyone had something different to offer.

Go for it! It is one of the most rewarding (and selfless) things a person could do. Give your time to a child (or children) in need.

mccarn22

only if its a really long term stable relationship..... but there few and far between amongst the gay community..

Aard

mccarn22 wrote: »

only if its a really long term stable relationship..... but there few and far between amongst the gay community..

Not really, in my experience. Yeah, the club scene can be quite incestuous and fleeting, but that's a minority. Plenty of long-term couples in Dublin.

Tricity Bendix

mccarn22 wrote: »

only if its a really long term stable relationship..... but there few and far between amongst the gay community..

Plus we couldn't really be trusted to hold a baby, what with our limp wrists and all.

Any other ignorant and insulting stereotypes you want to put out there?

Boston

Sure there was a thread recently with all the gay members who've been in monogamous relationships for years even decades.

Pink Adoptions

mccarn22 wrote: »

only if its a really long term stable relationship..... but there few and far between amongst the gay community..

You will be surprise, when marriage and/or civil partnership are introduced: the visible part of the community will no longer be the scene, but the family.

shoegirl

mccarn22 wrote: »

only if its a really long term stable relationship..... but there few and far between amongst the gay community..

There are loads, you just don't necessarily meet them in younger circles. I've several friends who are together 10 years plus, 2 of whom are fostering.