Crappy holiday stories

Dull and Boring

It's that time of the year when all my friends are planning their holidays. But I'm a student so I'm poor.:(

And since it's unlikely I'll be going ANYWHERE, I'm trying to cheer myself up by thinking of the bad holidays I went on so I won't feel like I'm missing out.:)

My first bad one was when I was younger and involved me getting the chicken pox, staying in a musty house where the owner thought it was appropriate to stay in a caravan at the back of the house and occasionally pop in to say hi!

Another time, I booked in to stay in cottages but they ran out of cottages so the owner put us in his run-down house where his wife had died and he couldn't face returning to clean it so the cobwebs literally hit us in the face as we walked in! Needless to say we decided to leave and went looking for somewhere else to stay at 2am. Found a flat, turns out it wasn't properly finished...the toilet came off the wall and the place flooded!

Other holidays involved creepy B&B owners who tended to come in at night, sit on my bed and have an aul chat! Not ok!!:mad::P And on another occasion the gardai! (Not my fault btw!)

However these stories are fairly mild so I want to hear yours!

IvySlayer

Flight got delayed for 8 and half hours.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Holidays were always great, just getting to them was the problem

On a 747 from Heathrow to Toronto notcied a team of fire engines driving to our plane. One of the hottest days of the year in London, fuel in the plane expanded and pissed out the overflows of the wings. Now I'm not a good flier, I hate the ascent, but they kept us there for 3 hours and apparantely the air con doesn't work until you're in the air.
We were given some 'hot' water by the cabin crew but it was torture

AnonoBoy

Went to Eastern Europe on holidays with two American guys and an Icelandic dude once. We went to Slovakia looking for this hostel full of hot chicks but I got bored and went back to Ireland. Didn't hear how the holiday went for them but it was probably sh*te.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Went to Eastern Europe on holidays with a two American guys and an Icelandic dude once. We went to Slovakia looking for this hostel full of hot chicks but I got bored and went back to Ireland. Didn't hear how the holiday went for them but it was probably sh*te.

I heard they got laid.
That Icelandic dude lost his head though

alwaysadub

Nothing major really ever happened on my holidays.
I nearly drowned in an aquapark in Spain when i was bout 10. My parents saw me splashing about and thought i was waving at them so sat there looking at me! Had to get rescued by the life guard.

Oh and a few years later(also in Spain) the poor fella in the apartment below us fell from his balcony and died. I heard all the screams and saw him on the ground but was made go back indoors cos i was too young. Was horrible though.

Oh,i guess i did have a couple of crappy holidays so..

Chinafoot

First year in college and 3 of us decided to go on a cheapy sun holiday. 3 suddenly turned to 5 with the other two wanting to invite school friends of theirs. Not really an issue. Anyway, it gets to literally days before we're due to go and one of the girls friends pulls out due to family stuff. The very day we were supposed to go, one of the college girls pulled out due to illness. So it was myself, my good college friend Mary, and sicky's mate Ann. Turns out Ann was a complete nightmare. At the airport she turned up in a shiny pink tracksuit having had her hair butchered. She looked about 40. Psychopath that kept trying to get in with any other group we came across, not in a friendly way...in a really creepy way. Liked to tell people she had, wait for it, 8 miscarriages...and she didn't even know about 3 of them "the doctor just knew!"

Mary ended up meeting some fella from Cork on the second night and spent the whole week with him, leaving me with fecking loony bin. Bit of a falling out there with Ann stirring the shí big time. On one of the last nights I was so pissed off with the situation that I ended up getting hammered (with Ann...again) and ended up with some fella. Ann ended up with his friend. When we got home Ann told everyone that she had been with the one I had been with.

I bumped into the two lads in town one night and the one she had been with told me that she stole one of his shirts and a pair of his socks.

4zn76tysfajdxp

All holiday stories are crap. Boring too. It really pisses me off when my friends boast about getting drunk on cheap spirits and running from the police or jumping into a swimming pool or meeting other Irish people when they visited some sunny and obscure Spanish island. We get it, you're mad craic and totally crazy. You're also just like every other tosser our age who visited Costa del Scobe with his friends. Piss off with your stupid, familiar anecdotes and photos of you in your ****ing GAA jerseys/vests with your pale arms around your identical friends. You look like a damn gang of homosexual plucked chickens.

In conclusion, I don't like holiday stories.

AnonoBoy

Trinity Loud Slingshot wrote: »

In conclusion, I don't like holiday stories.

You haven't heard mine yet though......

....so after the two bottles of vodka (which only cost 4 euro each! F*cking hell!) me and this girl from England were legging it away from the security guards of the water park and she slips, smacks her head on the diving board of the pool and goes under the water. I'm all like 'oh ****' and then she comes up out of the water and her bikini top has fallen off and all the lads are like 'waaahheeeyyyyyy' and then I fall over, puke, pass out and my friends leave me there so when I wake up 4 hours later I'm so badly sunburned I have to go to the emergency room and be treated for 3rd degree burns!

Awesome story bro, huh?

marko91

few years ago in santa ponsa my cousin almost died in the swimming pool in the bouganvillia:eek: - other than that was a great holiday or so i taught til i went on lads holidays:P

Evolute

In Portugal when I was about 4 or 5 I was running around the waterpark in a big fake cave with big bits sticking out all over the place I'm running around and manage to split my head open by 4 inches needless to say that was a bit of a downer considering that was the second day of a 2 week holiday:p

Either that or being arrested over in Almeria Spain when I had just turned 17 for kicking the crap out of a gypsy who tried to rob me and a friend. It wasnt very useful that the cop didnt speak a word of English. So my friend and I get put in the back of the car and are carted off down to the station while another police man brings the gypsy all in all I spent 16 hours in the police station. Which was more of a s**t one for my folks who didnt know where I was the whole night.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

high heels

went last year to some where hot to take part in a sport.. I was stuck in the room with one of the crew.. To be honest the heat was getting to me and I had a job to do while over there..

The crew member blew a grand in 2 days fell in with the local drug dealer so was staying up for the first few days wired.. Then the guys who we were playing had a BBQ so free booze ( he was saving his cash as he was broke so couldent afford to do anything) I woke up to a hooker in our room.. ( spent his last $200 on her) I had no idea what to say he was like roll over and Ill be quiet... EWWWWW
So ya kicked the **** out for the night after that.. he also thought I ate his pizza and tried to have a fight with me over it but he was so drunk he just forgot he ate it himself..

He ruined the event for me.. I spent a fortune to go to it and the **** ruined it.. left the team after it.. Not worth knowing scum..

bazzjazz

Sounds like you need to listen to this

syklops

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

Did you even read the OP?

marko91

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

I never went on a "lads holiday" I couldn't stand the idea of going on the piss for 2 weeks with 20 other blokes. I have gone to the same location as the lads, with other people and met up with them once or twice. Was a good laugh but drinking non stop for that lenght of time is simply not interesting to me. I rather see the sites and chill out. Why bother spend all that money to forget your holiday?

dry****e

This_Years_Love

A friend of my dad's was on holiday in Tenerife with his family. He was coming out of a nightclub and he saw some fella beating up a girl. He tried to help the girl and stop your man from beating her, the fella turned on him and started beating Mick (my dad's mate) and pulled out a knief and stabbed Mick in the face. Mick ended up losing his eye.

recylingbin

I went on holiday once and it was all foreigners.
Oh the humanity.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

syklops wrote: »

Did you even read the OP?

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.

marko91 wrote: »

dry****e

Mature you mean? Sorry I don't like sleeping in my own piss and vomit for 2 weeks. I must be a right bore altogether... :rolleyes:

marko91

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.



Mature you mean? Sorry I don't like sleeping in my own piss and vomit for 2 weeks. I must be a right bore altogether... :rolleyes:

yes what u said there might be boring but clubbing til 9am in the morning and getting pissed and getting with hot foreign women then relaxing getting a tan in the day is NOT a bore its heaven:Dwell i duno ur age maby ur older and grew out of it and i may aswell:(hopefully not though

RMD

Arturo Lazy Piece wrote: »

Yea, lads holidays = crappy holiday stories.

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

Dull and Boring

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays.

Tell me them RMD! I need entertaining!

marko91

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

true true, maby someone should start a "funniest holiday stories" thread (im too lazy:rolleyes:)...then i could fill line upon line of ridiciolous things that happened to me and mates on holidays:pac:

The Master

marko91 wrote: »

dry****e

Banned

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

marko91 wrote: »

yes what u said there might be boring but clubbing til 9am in the morning and getting pissed and getting with hot foreign women then relaxing getting a tan in the day is NOT a bore its heaven:Dwell i duno ur age maby ur older and grew out of it and i may aswell:(hopefully not though

Probably not much older than you, :P I might actually be younger than you :P

The only lads holiday I will be on again is the trip to Holland. Then again there's only 5 of us going, so not exactly a lads holiday.

RMD wrote: »

Sorry, but the funniest holiday stories I've ever heard are lads holidays. Lads holidays are always hilarious, as you only remember the funny things.

But this is the "crappy holiday stories" thread :P

Anyway it's all relative.

RMD

Dull and Boring wrote: »

Tell me them RMD! I need entertaining!

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

Dull and Boring

Now that's an entertaining story RMD, and a crappy holiday story for the other man at the same time! Well done!!:D

recylingbin

RMD wrote: »

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

Needless to say.

I hope he got thrown out as well.

cherryghost

RMD wrote: »

Right here's one for you.

Was doing shots in a bar abroad and all of sudden got that feeling when you know you're gonna throw up so I ran straight for the bathroom. Got inside and the only cubicle was locked, didn't even have time to make it to the sink it came on so fast. Went everywhere, ****ing everywhere. Covered the entire bathroom as it was pretty small (1 cubicle, 1 sink, 2 urinals) and some poor ****er in the cubicle had the pleasure of hearing about 2-3 liters of vomit hitting the cubicle door and splashing everywhere.

Ran back outside and grabbed my mates as there was 3 hefty bouncers on the door and I didn't want them sussing me out, just as I was walking by the toilet door on the way out, I see the poor bastard who was in he cubicle emerging covered in my vomit from head to toe on his back, completely dry on the front. Obviously enough he slipped on his way out of the cubicle and got covered in my mess.

Needless to say, I broke my ****s laughing.

you must be a huge hit with the ladies

starbelgrade

This one time, at band camp...

BongoJuice

starbelgrade wrote: »

This one time, at band camp...

Have you seen that 'movie' she made with her bf? She knows her way round a flute.

Panda

While on a family holiday to turkey we all got food poisoning.

Thats 4 people pebble dashing ONE toilet in 40 degree heat probably 80 percent humidity and no aircon.



Then there was that time i got tonsilitis (which led to an infection in my jaw) while in the middle of a tour up the west coast of australia.

This time it was 50 degree heat with 100 percent humidity.

RMD

cherryghost wrote: »

you must be a huge hit with the ladies

Sadly not, so I tend to drown my sorrows in a lot of drink while the rest of the lads succeed.

sam34

when i was three my parents took me and my one year old twin siblings on holidays to portugal

they didnt organise a babysitter when they were going drinking, instead they left us kids alone in the apartment

pretty bad holiday for me

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

when i was three my parents took me and my one year old twin siblings on holidays to portugal

they didnt organise a babysitter when they were going drinking, instead they left us kids alone in the apartment

pretty bad holiday for me

And this from a psychiatrist .. :rolleyes:

Sad.

sam34

OutlawPete wrote: »

And this from a psychiatrist .. :rolleyes:

Sad.

report the post if you've a probem with it

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

report the post if you've a probem with it

Unfortunately, making jokes about dead toddlers is not against the charter, otherwise I would.

sam34

OutlawPete wrote: »

Unfortunately, making jokes about dead toddlers is not against the charter, otherwise I would.

unfortunately for you you'll just have to sit on your high horse and surround yourself in moral outrage then.

have a nice day!

PS- have you information the rest of us dont have, as to the best of my knowledge (and that of the investigating police) she hasnt been found dead

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

unfortunately for you you'll just have to sit on your high horse and surround yourself in moral outrage then.

Not on any "high-horse" at all.

Strange that you think because someone comments on a "gag" you make about a dead / missing child that they must be on a high-horse.

sam34 wrote: »

PS- have you information the rest of us dont have, as to the best of my knowledge (and that of the investigating police) she hasnt been found dead

The guy in the sticky at the top of this forum is also missing, shall we make gags about that too? Or is just missing children that you find funny?

I say plenty of things on AH that get's called rubbish.

Pretty much everyone disagreed with me yesterday when I said Eddie Izzard wasn't in the least funny and I have no issue with that, people have a right to comment on what I post.

So don't act as if me daring to comment on what you post is somehow wrong and misplaced.

OutlawPete

Rosslare, 1990.

Myself and a few mates went to Connolly Station all set to head off to the first Trip II Tipp.

Only thing being that trains from Connolly don't go that way

So we ended up in Rosslare, as someone told us it was like Blackpool.

When we got there it was so bad we just walked to Courttown, which was also crap so we thumbed a lift to Wexford.

Couldn't get a B&B and so had to sleep in an abandoned bus.

We couldn't drink in any pubs as we were all underage.

Just a nightmare from start to finish.

sam34

OutlawPete wrote: »

Not on any "high-horse" at all.

thats not how the below comment appeared:

OutlawPete wrote: »

And this from a psychiatrist .. :rolleyes:

Sad.

OutlawPete wrote: »

I say plenty of things on AH that get's called rubbish.

Pretty much everyone disagreed with me yesterday when I said Eddie Izzard wasn't in the least funny and I have no issue with that, people have a right to comment on what I post.

So don't act as if me daring to comment on what you post is somehow wrong and misplaced.

i didnt act as if your action of commenting was wrong or misplaced - i am aware that this is a discussion forum, after all.


what i found amusing was your moral outrage, ie the content of your comment, not the fact that you "dared" comment on a discussion thread.

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

thats not how the below comment appeared:

Yes it is, I just made sure you were aware of why I found it 'sad', how is that being on a highhorse exactly?

It isn't.

sam34 wrote: »

i didnt act as if your action of commenting was wrong or misplaced

Yes you did, you told me to report it as if my commenting was wrong.

Why would I report a post that doesn't break any rules and is not against the charter of the forum it was placed on.

sam34 wrote: »

i am aware that this is a discussion forum, after all.

Grand so.

sam34 wrote: »

what i found amusing was your moral outrage

Where is the "outrage"?

Make any jokes you want Sam, but be prepared for a reaction when the punchline concerns missing children feared dead.

sam34

OutlawPete wrote: »

Yes it is, I just made sure you were aware of why I found it 'sad', how is that being on a highhorse exactly?

It isn't.

I wasnt particularly aware of why you found it sad, as your original comment merely referenced my profession.

OutlawPete wrote: »

Yes you did, you told me to report it as if my commenting was wrong.

Why would I report a post that doesn't break any rules and is not against the charter of the forum it was placed on.

no, i never said that your action of commenting was wrong.

if you found my post offensive, you are entitled to report it, even if it is not explicitly against charter rules

OutlawPete wrote: »

Where is the "outrage"?

Make any jokes you want Sam, but be prepared for a reaction when the punchline concerns missing children feared dead.

i should be prepared for a reaction to my posts?? seriously?? on a discussion forum of all places??? gee, thanks for the tip:rolleyes:

positron

First ski holiday ever, in Italy with then gf - three of four days into the trip most of the class that we started with started dropping off, and who ever is left is rather good on the snow. So the instructor took us to this medium difficult area, which was just ice and really scary steep! She slipped on the hard snow right just below the top and broke something and was in major agony. I kept her warm with my jacket till help gets to us (about five minutes) and then the instructor brought a stretcher for her and flew down the hill with her. Ambulance was already waiting at the bottom of the slop at this stage and by the time I got back on my feet, they are ready to go and waiting for me to come down - waving and shouting - typical Italian style! And here I am at the top of the slope, no jacket, shaking (cold and fear) and wondering how the f*ck I am going to get down without breaking something like she did. That was a bad few minutes - but I somehow made it down with decent speed, some narrow misses with couple of other skiers and I could see the instructor covering his face at the bottom of the slope... it was mad.

On the flight back, seat arrangement was like Me, gf, leg, leg!

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

I wasnt particularly aware of why you found it sad, as your original comment merely referenced my profession.

Yes and that's why I found it sad, would have thought that was obvious.

I only know it's your profession as you never stop reminding everyone.

sam34 wrote: »

no, i never said that your action of commenting was wrong.

You implied it by telling me to report your post.

sam34 wrote: »

if you found my post offensive, you are entitled to report it, even if it is not explicitly against charter rules

I didn't find it 'offensive', I found it sad.

I have made jokes that other's have found sad and objectionable, I take it on the chin and move on.

sam34 wrote: »

i should be prepared for a reaction to my posts?? seriously??

Yes, especially when joking about missing or dead kids.

Ya see Sam, it's kind of a controversial issue, just a head's up for ya.

sam34 wrote: »

on a discussion forum of all places??? gee, thanks for the tip:rolleyes:

Be as facetious as you wish, but you were the one accusing me of being on a 'high-horse' for commenting that, in my opinion, joking about missing children is 'sad'.

Have a nice day yourself.

sam34

OutlawPete wrote: »

Yes and that's why I found it sad, would have thought that was obvious.

ah, so because of my job i shouldnt find certian things funny, or have a black sense of humour?

i seeeeeee

OutlawPete wrote: »

I only know it's your profession as you never stop reminding everyone.

i never stop? exaggerate much?

if its relevant to a thread, i post what my job is (such as the thread in AH yesterday on someone with a mental illness)

i have almost 3000 posts here and relatively few of them would include reference to my job, and none would include gratuitious reference

but hey, if it makes you feel better, continue to exaggerate, i dont really care

OutlawPete wrote: »

You implied it by telling me to report your post.

again, if you have a problem with a post you can report it - whether it offends you or makes you sad

reporting it doesnt mean you cannot also comment on-thread about it

OutlawPete wrote: »

I have made jokes that other's have found sad and objectionable, I take it on the chin and move on.[/QOUTE]

good man. fair play to you

OutlawPete wrote: »

Ya see Sam, it's kind of a controversial issue, just a head's up for ya

i'm well aware of that, thank you

OutlawPete wrote: »

Have a nice day yourself

good day to you

i wont be replying to you on this thread again

biko

Pete and Sam, please stop arguing. You're bumming me out.

JamBur

14 hour bus trip from south of Brazil to the north. The bus was a lovely luxury job, and there was only about a dozen other passengers. A huge black american guy on the bus goes to the toilet and blocks it. This happened at the start, so we spent almost the entire trip retching and gagging on the smell.

In Thailand we were on a 10 hour overnight train trip, the ticket included a meal at the start. The entire train ended up with severe scutters, I remember queueing with at least 8 or 9 others at a time, desperately trying to get into the 1 tiny, fetid toilet

In Bolivia my buddy decided to try some marching powder in a local night club. I didn't have any, but I had a few drinks. My friend suddenly "forgets" that he got his stuff from the local dealer at the bar. Cue him going up to the dodgiest looking group of scum I have ever seen and trying to get stuck into them. I manage to get him out of there, but he's turned on me at this stage and is punching me. I get him back to the hostel and head back out. The night gets better and I meet a local lass, who is giving me some pleasure in a quiet spot...... when all I hear is my name being roared. Sure enough its my buddy, who is all apologetic. However it scares my companion away. I figure the night is a loss, so I head off to my room for sleep. I wake in the morning to my buddy and a gal that he pulled, coming running naked into my room to wake me up. I was hopping mad!!!!

Theres more but thats enough for now. I dont look on them as bad experiences, they add colour to my trips....and its great to have them to look back on. I did all the touristy, explorer stuff, but its nice to have these type of things in there as well;)

OutlawPete

sam34 wrote: »

ah, so because of my job i shouldnt find certian things funny,

Yes, call me old fashioned but I'd like to think that mental health care professionals, should be in better mental health than their patients.

sam34 wrote: »

exaggerate much?

Not at all, must have read you post it dozens and dozens of times.

People get sick of me saying how much Springsteen rocks, don't worry about it.

sam34 wrote: »

if its relevant to a thread, i post what my job is

I never said you posted where it wasn't relevant.

However now that you mention it, I have seen you bring it up a few times in threads where it wasn't necessary. Just yesterday you brought it up because someone joked about a poster being a psychologist:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=65025336&postcount=31

Of course, nobody needed to ask you were you really one, wonder why.

sam34 wrote: »

again, if you have a problem with a post you can report it -

AGAIN, I don't have a problem with your post, but you keep on saying I do if THAT makes YOU feel better.

sam34 wrote: »

reporting it doesnt mean you cannot also comment on-thread about it

Really???

Never knew that Sam :rolleyes:

AGAIN, why would I report a post that broke no rules and wasn't against the Charter?? Stop trying to garner the attention of the Mods AGAIN by implying that I did something wrong by commenting.

sam34 wrote: »

i wont be replying to you on this thread again

Thank fcuk for that.

biko

Any more from you two and it's a crap holiday.

Agricola

Yeah, i once went 'out foren' with four wannabee pioneers. They have a very unhealthy attitude to alcohol. i.e. they think its the devil's nectar! So i literally have a crappy holiday story!