Unsettled Baby

kluivert

Baby boy is 3 weeks old.

We are finding it very hard to get him to relax and sleep after his feed.

He wakes - feed him and wind him 30-45 mins - cuddle for 15 mins - try and get him to sleep 1 hour - he sleeps for 1-2 hours and up again. He is always looking for feed.

We think he might be finding the moses basket uncomfortable - new Cot coming tomorrow.

We thought that the SMA formula was making him cringie and crying alot and based on other peoples experience we changed to Cow and Gate and that seems to have improved things slightly.

We thought he had wind problems but its not that either.

We feed him 4-5oz, 2oz at a time - wind him - give him another 2oz wind him - cuddle him for a bit - try and put him down but he's wide awake. Put him down and wrap him up and he starts going mad in the moses.

Some times you have to pick him up put him on your shoulder recline the recliner and he will fall asleep on your chest - after 10-15mins put him in the moses and he will sleep but only for 2 hours.

are last thought is that he might be a hungry baby and might need the hungier food for babies.

Has anyone any thoughts or advice they could throw at first time parents.

Many thanks.

Popel

This may or may not be what you want to hear, but your baby doesn´t sound unsettled at all, he sounds completely normal. If it was non-stop crying for two hours and then 1 to 2 hours of sleep, that sounds like an unsettled, colicy baby.

But babies do generally only sleep for such short amounts of time. In the next few weeks you might find that he sometimes does manage three hours, and that other times he only manages 45 minutes of sleep in one go. And feeding him every two hours at his age is also completely normal, though going by your post it seems you have to feed him approximately every three hours, which is the other end of normal at his age.

My daughter is now nine months old, and it´s only in the past two months that she has not fed every three hours. Small babies don´t have very big stomachs, so they need to be filled more regularly to keep them hydrated and content.

I don´t know how to help you with the moses basket, maybe a bigger cot will work, maybe your son just wants the comfort of mammy or daddy and will only fall asleep on your chest or shoulder for another little while, but keep trying the cot or moses basket every now and then, and one day soon it´ll work by itself.

But please, don´t go worrying about your little boy only taking two hour naps, it will only be two or three months before he´ll only sleep for much shorter times during the day, and then he´ll hopefully stretch out his sleeping times during the night.

Hang in there, you´re now experiencing the most tiring time of your life, and it may last another little while, but it is, unhelpful as it is to say it, all part of the first few months of being parents.

ellieh1

Firstly a huge congratulations on the birth of your baby!!

I was given a gift of "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford when my daughter was born and it was a God send in my eyes. It really helps you to establish a routine from the begining, and helps to ensure good sleeping pattern. I would highly recommend it and it may help you out with your situation.
The best of luck and congrats again!!

Nevyn

I also was given a gift of "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford, I found it made a good door stop, but that was about it.

It could be easily 6 weeks before a newborn will settle into sleeping for a 4 hours strech it is just the way it goes. I doubt the moses basket is unfortable it could just be that he needs the smell, warmth and comfort of Mam or Dad.

littlebug

Thaedydal wrote: »

I also was given a gift of "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford, I found it made a good door stop, but that was about it.

It could be easily 6 weeks before a newborn will settle into sleeping for a 4 hours strech it is just the way it goes. I doubt the moses basket is unfortable it could just be that he needs the smell, warmth and comfort of Mam or Dad.

+1 mine went in the bin (the book not the baby:D).

tbh my first thought on reading your post OP was "wow a baby that sleeps for 2 hours:)). He sounds completely normal!
Some babies just like to be cuddled a lot. Some people advise not to get them into the habit as they'll find it hard to go to sleep on their own later but I liked holding them. They're big now and I miss it!

Sometimes wakeful babies are just that and (in my opinion) you just need to find your own way (rather than book way) of working with them and their routine. Mine were carried around in a sling a lot while I attempted to get stuff done. Once my youngest was 6-7 weeks he was happy out in a bouncy chair watching everything going on around him. Being more upright for longer kept his tummy more settled too.

Congrats!

kluivert

Thanks guys for the re-assuring words.

Sometimes when you have feed him changed him wind him and cuddled him and he still wont stop crying or settle down you start to wonder what your doing wrong.

I suppose its a case of trial and error and seeing what works best.

as for this stage of life being the most tiring is certainly true. We cant believe how much time he had on our hands before the wee man arrived, but its great to have him.

littlebug

kluivert wrote: »

Sometimes when you have feed him changed him wind him and cuddled him and he still wont stop crying or settle down you start to wonder what your doing wrong.
.

when you're going through this just remind yourself that he is just a baby doing normal baby things and you are just a parent doing normal parent things (ie worrying!). You're not doing anything wrong.

My second one was my easier baby and yet I remember spending chunks of time standing beside the kitchen sink with the tap running (hard) because the sound of the water running settled him when nothing else would.

With the first it was the sound of a metronome at about 1 beat per second or wind chimes. I must have spent half my life in those first months wandering round the house trying different things

Das Kitty

You're not doing anything wrong.

Trial and error doesn't really work with newborns either as they change daily.

There is a growth spurt around 3 weeks where they're fussier and may want more feeds.

Don't worry though, it won't be like this forever, you'll find it gets better gradually over the next month, you'll get into a bit of a rhythm with the baby.

My lad is 7 weeks old now and we're back to going out for meals and things and are feeling almost fully operational again!

cynder

Reminds me of mine up until they were about 10 weeks, feeding every 2 hours. They would only take 2 oz at a time.

tscul32

...before you know it he's 4 years old and feeding every two hours again... 'maaaaaammmy, I'm huuuungry'...is all I ever hear these days...

Congrats on your little man, I have two aged 2 and 4 and never a dull moment.

beachbabe

Just on the contented little baby book, great in theory but the women who wrote it has no kids...

Nevyn

The author in question has sued discussion sites when people said things about her and her books which she didn't like, so really lets not go down that road.

ebmma

Das Kitty wrote: »

You're not doing anything wrong.


My lad is 7 weeks old now and we're back to going out for meals and things and are feeling almost fully operational again!

wow, Kitty, how do you organise going out for meals? My boy is a month this week and it feels like meals out are never going to happen again..
Went to a coffee shop today and it felt like a major achievement

beachbabe

Thaedydal wrote: »

The author in question has sued discussion sites when people said things about her and her books which she didn't like, so really lets not go down that road.

fair enough, sorry.

Das Kitty

ebmma wrote: »

wow, Kitty, how do you organise going out for meals? My boy is a month this week and it feels like meals out are never going to happen again..
Went to a coffee shop today and it felt like a major achievement

We bring him along. The first time is stressful, after that it's grand. I still haven't left him for longer than a couple of hours but have to start building up to McCartney in June! Yeah at a month I thought my life was over but a week later I was out and about and feeling miles better.

bogtotty

kluivert wrote: »

are last thought is that he might be a hungry baby and might need the hungier food for babies.

I would recommend that if you think he is hungry, try feeding him more often. I know you're thinking that every 2 hours is often enough, but keep in mind that his tummy is smaller than a golf ball at this stage and can only hold so much. Hungry baby formula should be avoided if at all possible as it can make babies overweight and predispose them to childhood obesity and diabetes. The best formula is the stuff that is for newborns. Any of the ones that say 'suitable from birth' are the way to go, as they have to be made with the purest ingredients in order to be approved as a breast milk substitute, and can be used right up until your baby is weaned from formula altogether. Once you find a brand that suits, stick with it, don't bother switching to one of the gimmicky 'growing-up milks' or whatever.

cbyrd

kluivert wrote: »

Baby boy is 3 weeks old.

We are finding it very hard to get him to relax and sleep after his feed.

He wakes - feed him and wind him 30-45 mins - cuddle for 15 mins - try and get him to sleep 1 hour - he sleeps for 1-2 hours and up again. He is always looking for feed.

We think he might be finding the moses basket uncomfortable - new Cot coming tomorrow.

We thought that the SMA formula was making him cringie and crying alot and based on other peoples experience we changed to Cow and Gate and that seems to have improved things slightly.

We thought he had wind problems but its not that either.

We feed him 4-5oz, 2oz at a time - wind him - give him another 2oz wind him - cuddle him for a bit - try and put him down but he's wide awake. Put him down and wrap him up and he starts going mad in the moses.

Some times you have to pick him up put him on your shoulder recline the recliner and he will fall asleep on your chest - after 10-15mins put him in the moses and he will sleep but only for 2 hours.

are last thought is that he might be a hungry baby and might need the hungier food for babies.

Has anyone any thoughts or advice they could throw at first time parents.

Many thanks.

Have you tried to swaddle him?? sometimes it helps, it's not really advised to put them on the hungrier baby food til they're 6 weeks for some reason, they advise to give them more in the bottle.:)
I wouldn't worry about him falling asleep on your chest unless it's the middle of the night, in case he falls off:D:D it does take them a while to learn how to sleep on they're own..it's all new to them and they dont' know what routine is. I'd try not to lift him everytime he makes a noise unless he's roaring!! I learned this on my 2nd child!!:D first one i ruined her by lifting her if she so much as snorted.
my number 3 baby i have to say has me spoiled he sleeps all night since he was 12 days, but i couldn't put him sleeping on his back though cos he'd wake up.. i wedged him on his side in the moses basket and he was more comfortable this way, i know you're told not to but it was the only way he'd sleep...he's in the big cot now and on his back.
i have him on aptimil which is supposed to be one of the closest to breastmilk, i've used it with all 3 and have never had a problem (i breastfed and after a couple of weeks i combined fed) but i-2 hours between feeds sounds normal, as he gets older the hours stretch out
good luck and remember it's always a learning curve;)

nesf

kluivert wrote: »

Sometimes when you have feed him changed him wind him and cuddled him and he still wont stop crying or settle down you start to wonder what your doing wrong.

Welcome to parenting. This is effectively how the first child goes. Sorry to say there's no easy route beyond trial and error with each kid.

Princessa

My little one was the same her feeds were every three hours. Feed at 12am for example, finished, burped, changed cuddled and back down in the moses basket by 1am.
By the time id get back to sllep it would be after 1.30.
Then she would wake up at 2.45ish for her 3am feed.
Was exhausting but it gets better as they get older.
He sounds normal, he's just a hungry baby by the sounds of it...

caprilicious

kluivert congrats on your new arrival

My little one is 3 weeks old tomorrow so I'm no expert/still only finding my feet!
I found with my little one for the first 10 days she didn't seem to be content after a feed, she always seemed to want more.
When I gave her more formula she would vomit back up the excess (and more) and when I changed her to the hungry baby formula it made her very windy/crampy.

One handy tip I did take from the Gina Ford book was that some babies are 'sucky' and its not necessarily that they're still hungry, they just love the comfort of sucking.
So I gave her a soother, and we haven't looked back since.

Now we were both really against giving our baby a soother, but when we seen the comfort it gave her and she was settling much better we haven't regretted it & use it in moderation.
Plus when its 2am in the morning and baby has been grizzling/crying for 2 hours straight I think you will try anything to give you and baby some relief

It might be worth trying?

I find with our little one the most she sleeps between feeds would be 3-4 hours at night and 1.5 - 2.5 hours during the day.

I think the Gina Ford book is excellent in theory and I will definitely try to implement the routines when baby is a bit older but I found it very hard trying to follow it rigorously with her so young.
Plus my little darling refused to wake up when I tried to wake and feed her at the times in the books routine, she's like her mammy, likes her sleep too much :pac:

kluivert

A big thanks to everyone for their input into their own experiences.

Its re-assuring to how that alot of people out there are having the same or similiar issues.

I think we are expecting too much of our wee man.

We have a soother for him which works well most of the time but he loves sucking his fingers. Hes a little devil for sucking his fingers its hard to know if he is hungry or if its a comforting thing.

He got a cot for him which he seems to like alot more than the moses basket and he loves going for walks and drives.

I think he has gotten a bit use to crying and getting a response from mummy an daddy too soon, so we are going to try and let him cry it out for a couple of minutes unless its a pain cry.

Thanks again to everyone, and from reading the posts it appears to get easier with every additional child that comes along.

aniascor

kluivert wrote: »

I think he has gotten a bit use to crying and getting a response from mummy an daddy too soon, so we are going to try and let him cry it out for a couple of minutes unless its a pain cry.

from your posts, it seems your baby is only around a month old now right? That's a bit young for resorting to crying it out. In fact you may find that rather than teaching your baby that you won't respond to whinging or small cries and getting him to stop crying that way, your lack of response might have the opposite effect. He may start escalating his cries sooner because he will learn that he has to roar crying to get your attention. Babies this young are not manipulators and despite what some may tell you, you don't need to worry about spoiling your newborn. You can think about that in a few months time when he's a bit older instead!