paying parents to look after their grandchildren

Jenn15

my mother minds my lil one 3 days a week and being honest i never really considered offering her some money for it even though i knew if i ever brought it up she'd go ballistic at the taught of being paid to mind her grandson!!!

Just wondering if anyone does pay their parents for this?

OldmanMondeo

We pay her mother to mind the kids 5 days a week. When she offered we said that we wanted her to mind them but only if we paid her, after all minding kids is hard work at times. She also feeds them lunch and dinners so it is only fair to give something towards it. But we don't pay near what a creshe would charge, she wouldn't take that much.

axel rose

Hmmmm, I think it's one of those things where if it works out- then it's a great plan, but if it doesn't, then there is big trouble and resentment ahead.

Money is rarely the problem in these arrangements. I would imagine that if a parent is not paying for this service then the parents are in a weak position to make 'demands'. (By which I mean, certain nap times, no chocolate etc)

seamus

I've heard of grandparents giving up paying jobs to become their grandchild's carer - sometimes paid, sometimes not.

I would imagine most of the time it's initiated by the child's parents not wanting to feel like they're leaving their own parents without. The vast vast majority of grandparents are delighted to do it, especially when they can give the child back at 6 o'clock and get their own good night's sleep.

If you feel bad about it, or if you feel that the grandparent is significantly out of pocket, then offer it, but don't force the issue - accept the grandparent's refusal. If you simply wish to display gratitude, then decent gifts at appropriate times won't be refused and will make everyone less uncomfortable. So instead of a few clothes or perfumes at Christmas time, buy them a new telly or a computer, for example.
That will still work out far less than a creche or childminder.

cbyrd

my kids have an adopted granny.. well that's what she's become, she wouldn't take money even though she was minding them 4 days a week. we insisted that she take something as she was feeding them and if she went shopping she bought stuff for them.
So we agreed €20 each per day. it made me feel like i wasn't taking advantage and it means if i ever need her to mind them she's always there.

I'd put it to her that her time is valuable and you appreciate itand if she doesn't want it she can put it away for the little man.
there's also the difference then between the time she responsible for him and when she's just granny/nana
hope its of some help.;)

nesf

Both sets of grandparents would be insulted if we offered them money to be honest. They kind of view it as what's expected of a grandparent and both sides had their own parents do childminding for them when we were kids so it kind of balances out in generational terms.

I also think it comes down to income levels. Both sets of grandparents have decent incomes coming in so it's not a huge weight to mind the kids financially. If this wasn't the case I could very much see myself and the wife putting money towards food and other expenses towards the childcare. It really comes down to context a lot I think.

ash23

I don't live near my parents or near his and even if I did, they all have full time jobs so wouldn't be in a position to mind her while I'm at work.

If they were minding her full time I'd pay them.

When they babysit for me I don't pay them. I might only ask once a month if even that.

A few times I've had to go away for weekends or for a few days and I always leave money at the house for them for food etc. if they are staying at mine. If they are taking her to theirs then I give money for some treats or a day out.