Would many girls approach guys on a night out?

Lux23

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

In my experience a lot of guys just don't like the girl making the first move (irish guys) they would prefer to sit forever giving googly eyes and never approaching a girl.

You see I thought that too but then I realised it may that the men I am approaching don't actually fancy me. Its a shocking thought but there may be some out there who don't like my type. Mad men clearly.

shayno90

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

In my experience a lot of guys just don't like the girl making the first move (irish guys) they would prefer to sit forever giving googly eyes and never approaching a girl.

Ditto to that. Just because your used to that social norm doesn't mean you have to follow it religiously. In any case, guys would rarely shoot a girl down for approaching them however roles reversed girls abuse this privilege and ought to respect the guy for approaching them in the first place instead of dismissing them. So, it is much tougher for guys to pluck up the courage to talk to girls and therefore get overly drunk and then it becomes a situation were neither party is happy because of the drunkeness!

jonnygiles

Head off to Sweden all the women approach men im told and theyre all roides there!

Starting my savings for Stockholm as we speak!!!:D

Gmol

jonnygiles wrote: »

Head off to Sweden all the women approach men im told and theyre all roides there!

Starting my savings for Stockholm as we speak!!!:D

It's the Stockholm Syndrome:D

SV

Lux23 wrote: »

You see I thought that too but then I realised it may that the men I am approaching don't actually fancy me. Its a shocking thought but there may be some out there who don't like my type. Mad men clearly.

You know the drill..

bonerm

Gmol wrote: »

It's the Stockholm Syndrome:D

also known as Fritzl Frenzy.

neilthefunkeone

Ive never been approached by a girl.. Then again im a hideous looking chud...

Could be a link there somewhere

Jaxxy

shayno90 wrote: »

Ditto to that. Just because your used to that social norm doesn't mean you have to follow it religiously. In any case, guys would rarely shoot a girl down for approaching them however roles reversed girls abuse this privilege and ought to respect the guy for approaching them in the first place instead of dismissing them. So, it is much tougher for guys to pluck up the courage to talk to girls and therefore get overly drunk and then it becomes a situation were neither party is happy because of the drunkeness!

Ah that's not fair, a girl is entitled to dismiss you if she has no interest! She can do it nicely and politely sure, but even wrapped up in kind words it's still a dismissal. If a girl is upfront with you and tells you straight out that you're not her type then she's saving you time and effort you could be wasting on some other bird that might take you home and show you her boobies.

Girls who lead you on are much, much worse than rude girls who just tell you to gtfo.

recylingbin

Waterloo Sunset wrote: »

I'd be far too shy to approach a guy on a night out. Wouldn't even know how to!

"Here love, do you like jewellery?"

They love that. Works every time.
Every time.

Lux23

recylingbin wrote: »

"Here love, do you like jewellery?"

They love that. Works every time.
Every time.

Should that not be do you like buying jewellery?

pebbles21

One_Armed_Dwarf wrote: »

For some reason women don't really approach me

Your obvisousily not looking in the right places!!

Have you tried your nearest Circus?

naughto

just go and talk to them if he a dick walk away (or tell him ta **** off) what ever suits

shayno90

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Ah that's not fair, a girl is entitled to dismiss you if she has no interest! She can do it nicely and politely sure, but even wrapped up in kind words it's still a dismissal. If a girl is upfront with you and tells you straight out that you're not her type then she's saving you time and effort you could be wasting on some other bird that might take you home and show you her boobies..

Very insightful

Of course a girl has every right to dismiss guys who aren't right for them but the issue is most girls who go out put themselves on up pedestals and give themselves heirs for example talking to them is a privilege for the guy who approaches them, overvaluing themselves thinking they are worth more than most guys who approach them.

Anyway, the question is why don't women take more initiative regarding approaching guys since they are meant to be more proactive, independent people nowadays instead of reverting to type like it's always the man's role to approach women which should be a thing of the past.I would have no problem if a women approached me, it shows she doesn't care about who should take initiative and she is proactive doesn't waste her time hiding in her group of friends looking forlorn because no guy will talk to her. If your interested in someone, avoid closing yourself off in a big group of people as this sends a signal that you are only interested in talking to your friends!

donfers

Women can dismiss guys all they want, it's their right.

However what really annoys me and is quite common and has happened to me more than a few times is when there is a little group of 2 or maybe 3 women and you have caught the eye of one of them, maybe danced with them or had a nice little chat and the chemistry is great only for one of the mates to step in and drag her away. It really is quite pathetic insecure jealous behahviour. It's like the one who drags her friend away is saying "well I got nowhere tonight and I'm not going off on my own so I'm going to drag Mary away from her fun under the pretense that I am concerned for her welfare/that the guy is a d**k etc."

Guys would never do this, if any of my mates have great chemistry going with a girl on a night out I don't interfere and worry about being on my own, I'm delighted for them.

Truly two-faced, devious and utterly transparent behaviour from the ladyfolk I'm afraid and quite common too.

Jaxxy

donfers wrote: »

Women can dismiss guys all they want, it's their right.

However what really annoys me and is quite common and has happened to me more than a few times is when there is a little group of 2 or maybe 3 women and you have caught the eye of one of them, maybe danced with them or had a nice little chat and the chemistry is great only for one of the mates to step in and drag her away. It really is quite pathetic insecure jealous behahviour. It's like the one who drags her friend away is saying "well I got nowhere tonight and I'm not going off on my own so I'm going to drag Mary away from her fun under the pretense that I am concerned for her welfare/that the guy is a d**k etc."

Guys would never do this, if any of my mates have great chemistry going with a girl on a night out I don't interfere and worry about being on my own, I'm delighted for them.

Truly two-faced, devious and utterly transparent behaviour from the ladyfolk I'm afraid and quite common too.

I've seen this happen / have had it happen to me. In my case I just took my friend aside (provided I was sober enough to have a coherent conversation with her, and if I'm not she probably did the right thing by pulling me away) and tell her that she's wreckin me buzz and to get over herself. Quite a few of my friends put way too much importance on hooking up or scoring with a bloke when they go out. If they don't nab someone by the end of the night they see the night as a failure. Which I think is unbelievably sad. You go out to have some fun and a laugh with your mates, why waste your money if all you're going to do is stand around waiting for someone to approach you?

But there are exceptions. If it's a case that she doesn't want to be left alone, or "abandoned" then fair enough I'll make sure she's comfortable.

Especially if it's a small group of friends (IE one or two), it makes sense that she won't want to be left on her own looking like she's a reject left to get dusty on a shelf. Think of it from that perspective too.

jackiebaron

I've been approached on a few occasions. Once by a black girl. She just tapped the shoulder of the guy I was talking to and told him to tell me that she liked me and wanted to talk to me. That was definitely the most forthright I've encountered. She was good in bed too. Another time this woman asked me to join her and her mate on their pub quiz team. Then after the quiz she took me home...but she was a bit of a cougar...37. I was only 23.
Mostly you just need to be cool and don't brag about anything even if you're a mega-rich, genius, astronaut, black-belt, bloody guru of some crap. Girls like down to earth guys who can make them laugh. It helps if you're well turned out, smell nice, are not completely steaming drunk and have on some nice threads. Wear something that stands out and that she'll notice like a cool pair of shoes or a fancy leather jacket. If she complements it, crack a joke that you stole them/it off a corpse in the morgue where you work. That'll get her chuckling, then buy her a double rum and coke and you're on yer way to some serious snoggage followed hopefully by a roll in the hay or at least a phone number.

recylingbin

jackiebaron wrote: »

I've been approached on a few occasions. Once by a black girl. She just tapped the shoulder of the guy I was talking to and told him to tell me that she liked me and wanted to talk to me. That was definitely the most forthright I've encountered. She was good in bed too. Another time this woman asked me to join her and her mate on their pub quiz team. Then after the quiz she took me home...but she was a bit of a cougar...37. I was only 23.
Mostly you just need to be cool and don't brag about anything even if you're a mega-rich, genius, astronaut, black-belt, bloody guru of some crap. Girls like down to earth guys who can make them laugh. It helps if you're well turned out, smell nice, are not completely steaming drunk and have on some nice threads. Wear something that stands out and that she'll notice like a cool pair of shoes or a fancy leather jacket. If she complements it, crack a joke that you stole them/it off a corpse in the morgue where you work. That'll get her chuckling, then buy her a double rum and coke and you're on yer way to some serious snoggage followed hopefully by a roll in the hay or at least a phone number.

It was all going so well for you until that bit.
Now I don't believe you. We don't live in 70s america. You are not John Travolta and she is not whoever that actress was that played yer one.

Leather jacket.
lolathon.

Jaxxy

shayno90 wrote: »

Very insightful

Of course a girl has every right to dismiss guys who aren't right for them but the issue is most girls who go out put themselves on up pedestals and give themselves heirs for example talking to them is a privilege for the guy who approaches them, overvaluing themselves thinking they are worth more than most guys who approach them.

You can't really say that either. Where exactly have you been going!? What kind of girls are you approaching? Supermodels? Because if that's the case then mate I'm sorry, no offense but the girls you're approaching are not going to give you the time of day. Because if they liked you and were into you then trust me they'd be very sweet to you.

Next time you're out have a look around. If you see a girl(s) having a laugh and a giggle and a good time, animated while telling a story, smiling at random passersby and maybe even catching your eye, approach HER. She's the one that will give you the time of day, not the unattainable snob with her nose in the air and a sour expression while she hangs around waiting for some rich yah-yah southsider in a polo shirt to buy her some Moet.

28064212

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

...cross a crowded pub just to walk up to some randomer and go "I'll roger your brain loose"

Pure awesomeness.

That is all.

jackiebaron

recylingbin wrote: »

It was all going so well for you until that bit.
Now I don't believe you. We don't live in 70s america. You are not John Travolta and she is not whoever that actress was that played yer one.

Leather jacket.
lolathon.

You think leather has EVER gone out of style? I'm not talking about some poxy biker/rocker jacket or some padded-shoulder Jason Donovan abomination circa 1985 or some frills-and-tassles cowboy catastrophe. Check your fashion mags there, radish, you'll find lots of snazzy leather jackets that make the stars look cool. I personally like the Tyler Durden ala Fight Club style:

http://www.1tshirtsworld.com/tyler-durden-clothing.html

jackiebaron

recylingbin wrote: »

It was all going so well for you until that bit.
Now I don't believe you. We don't live in 70s america. You are not John Travolta and she is not whoever that actress was that played yer one.

Leather jacket.
lolathon.

You're right, I'm not John Travolta. I'm more along the lines of that buffoon, Johnny Bravo :pac:

recylingbin

jackiebaron wrote: »

You think leather has EVER gone out of style? I'm not talking about some poxy biker/rocker jacket or some padded-shoulder Jason Donovan abomination circa 1985 or some frills-and-tassles cowboy catastrophe. Check your fashion mags there, radish, you'll find lots of snazzy leather jackets that make the stars look cool. I personally like the Tyler Durden ala Fight Club style:

http://www.1tshirtsworld.com/tyler-durden-clothing.html

heh heh heh

Go get 'em, killer.

shayno90

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

You can't really say that either. Where exactly have you been going!? What kind of girls are you approaching? Supermodels? Because if that's the case then mate I'm sorry, no offense but the girls you're approaching are not going to give you the time of day.

This is based on my own and other lads experience and no we don't only go for the supermodels which are a rareity on a night out here! Those girls I'm referring to are those who belong to a group were there is one good-looking girl who prob gets most of the attention and all her mates than believe they must act the same to be like her and end up being stuck-up so deserve to be left alone.

Anyway, you never answered the initial question I mentioned previously as I am not bothered either way if girls want to be unapproachable, it's their loss really! Don't deny that this doesn't happen on nights out as you must either have the blinkers on or assume women would never do such a thing.......

LenaClaire

I used to go out with some friends and one would ask me to go start a conversation with a guy she liked so that she could wander over subtly. It worked for her a few times.

Luckily she is married now so I don't have to do that anymore

Lux23

shayno90 wrote: »

This is based on my own and other lads experience and no we don't only go for the supermodels which are a rareity on a night out here! Those girls I'm referring to are those who belong to a group were there is one good-looking girl who prob gets most of the attention and all her mates than believe they must act the same to be like her and end up being stuck-up so deserve to be left alone.

Anyway, you never answered the initial question I mentioned previously as I am not bothered either way if girls want to be unapproachable, it's their loss really! Don't deny that this doesn't happen on nights out as you must either have the blinkers on or assume women would never do such a thing.......

I know what you mean but I wonder how you and your friends are behaving, I can bet you all stand whispering and arguing over who is going to chat up the good looking girl and the girls realise that so they put up a bitchy front.

And how do you act good looking if you are only so so? Sometimes I wonder how Irish people manage to breed the way they carry on.

Jaxxy

shayno90 wrote: »

This is based on my own and other lads experience and no we don't only go for the supermodels which are a rareity on a night out here! Those girls I'm referring to are those who belong to a group were there is one good-looking girl who prob gets most of the attention and all her mates than believe they must act the same to be like her and end up being stuck-up so deserve to be left alone.

Yeah, leave those girls alone. I can't argue with that. Just remember that you're verging on generalising and you shouldn't necessarily judge the entire sex based on the couple of instances of when you got shot down. Maybe they actually genuinely don't think you or your mates are hot stuff. Even the less attractive females in groups have the right to say no to you. You think that just because their mate is better looking that they should be willing to settle for anyone who is nice or tries their luck with them?

I agree that there's no need to be rude about it, but it is their right. If they want to ignore you or outright laugh at you then they can. Just don't talk to them again. And then maybe spread a rumour that one of them has crabs.

shayno90 wrote: »

Anyway, you never answered the initial question I mentioned previously as I am not bothered either way if girls want to be unapproachable, it's their loss really! Don't deny that this doesn't happen on nights out as you must either have the blinkers on or assume women would never do such a thing.......

I never denied anything. Of course it happens. And btw, blokes can be arseholes too you know. I've had my arse slapped, I've been groped, once found a bloke under my table trying to take a pic of me pink bits with his phone, I've been insulted and called names when I tell them it is inappropriate behaviour. I realise it can be difficult to approach women, but it can be just as difficult being approached, you know.

As for your question I assume it was "why don't women approach men?" Some do believe that the men should do all the chasing, and men mostly are the ones to do the chatting up in bars or clubs so there's no reason for them to change the way they think about that. Some are just shy. Some just don't do it for the same reasons blokes don't do it; because it's hard and rejection sucks.

shayno90

Lux23 wrote: »

I know what you mean but I wonder how you and your friends are behaving, I can bet you all stand whispering and arguing over who is going to chat up the good looking girl and the girls realise that so they put up a bitchy front.

And how do you act good looking if you are only so so? Sometimes I wonder how Irish people manage to breed the way they carry on.

Nope I would approach them if I was interested but you would be wary of the person especially if she was with a group of her friends.

So, whats your style wait in the corner babbling to your friends all night, stare awkwardly at someone for second then look away like it was a mistake then complain nobody approached you , hmmmm................. All of these are observations based on experience so if you take offence, you must be quite unaware of this or possibly do this yourself, next time your out look for yourself. So would you approach a guy or should a woman be more proactive and do it herself instead of waiting for an approach that never happens!

Smart Bug

Depends on where you're out in imo. If you walk along the canal at night plenty of 'em will approach you.

old hippy

Everyone's approachable. Esp if you send out good vibes and act positive. People can pick up on bad vibes, or if you're down or not confident.

I always find it flattering when somebody flirts with me

j1974

ilovebiology wrote: »

Haha! I am a girl! And a very very shy one at that. I never get approached by guys, and I am not ugly, and am slim but get no where

ahhhhh, slim or and attractive as you are, guys dont get turned on by a woman with a glass eye wearing a monacle!!

j1974

Darlughda wrote: »

Usually approach the men who catch my eye myself. But am always flattered by the brave soldiers who have the nerve to approach me.

what's your chat up line once you've approached those lucky enough to "catch your eye". Hey handsome, can I have my glass eye back, It landed in your drink when I sneezed".

j1974

Darlughda wrote: »

Usually approach the men who catch my eye myself. But am always flattered by the brave soldiers who have the nerve to approach me.

and once you've approached those luck enuf to "catch your eye"???? what's your line??? Hey there hansome man, can I have my glass eye back?, it landed in your drink when I sneezed"....... ohhhh sexy!!:eek:

j1974

Lux23 wrote: »

Yes I do approach them but sometimes a nice smile and a bit of eye contact is all a fairly confident man needs. But like another poster said women may be better off doing the leg work as it may only be the really cocky lads and womanisers that go up to any woman they fancy.

Ladies - if you are standing near a fella all night that keeps eyeing you up and whispering to his mates walk by him to the bar or the dancefloor and give him a smile. Unless he is completely socially inept its all the come on he will need.

I agree entirely as a non womanising man type guy. did I tell you how lovely your Font looks today???? ohhhhh youuuuuuuu!!;)

Lux23

shayno90 wrote: »

Nope I would approach them if I was interested but you would be wary of the person especially if she was with a group of her friends.

So, whats your style wait in the corner babbling to your friends all night, stare awkwardly at someone for second then look away like it was a mistake then complain nobody approached you , hmmmm................. All of these are observations based on experience so if you take offence, you must be quite unaware of this or possibly do this yourself, next time your out look for yourself. So would you approach a guy or should a woman be more proactive and do it herself instead of waiting for an approach that never happens!

No like I said earlier in the thread I often approach men if I like the look of them but I think the best thing to do is smile and give them a good bit of eye contact as you walk to the bar or dancefloor. If this doesn't work they I assume he is not interested or shy and may not welcome an approach.

j1974

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

In my experience a lot of guys just don't like the girl making the first move (irish guys) they would prefer to sit forever giving googly eyes and never approaching a girl.

Dear poster,

I find that "googly eyes" remark totally repugnant and offensive.

Sincererly yours
MARTY FELDMAN!!

j1974

Daisy Steiner wrote: »

In my experience a lot of guys just don't like the girl making the first move (irish guys) they would prefer to sit forever giving googly eyes and never approaching a girl.

Dear poster,

I find that "googly eyes" remark highly offensive and repugnant.

Sincerely yours
MARTY FELDMAN:mad:

jackiebaron

Some good chat up lines always help.

Me: You look like the kind of girl who's heard every crappy chatup line in the book.

Her: Yeah....

Me: One more won't kill you then. Haha!

Me: Do you like chicken?

Her: Yeah....

Me: Well suck my cock, it's fowl!

Me: Don't go

:pac:

j1974

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I've seen this happen / have had it happen to me. In my case I just took my friend aside (provided I was sober enough to have a coherent conversation with her, and if I'm not she probably did the right thing by pulling me away) and tell her that she's wreckin me buzz and to get over herself. Quite a few of my friends put way too much importance on hooking up or scoring with a bloke when they go out. If they don't nab someone by the end of the night they see the night as a failure. Which I think is unbelievably sad. You go out to have some fun and a laugh with your mates, why waste your money if all you're going to do is stand around waiting for someone to approach you?

But there are exceptions. If it's a case that she doesn't want to be left alone, or "abandoned" then fair enough I'll make sure she's comfortable.

Especially if it's a small group of friends (IE one or two), it makes sense that she won't want to be left on her own looking like she's a reject left to get dusty on a shelf. Think of it from that perspective too.

Five words for you, "you are a cool chick". now where do you live.

It puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again!!!!

Max Power1

CKWPORT wrote: »

Never used to happen when I was single.

Any time I was going out with a girl it tended to happen, and it was a pain then cause you couldn't/shouldn't (and I didn't) do anything.

+1

j1974 wrote: »

Dear poster,

I find that "googly eyes" remark highly offensive and repugnant.

Sincerely yours
MARTY FELDMAN:mad:

Dear Poster

I find that "remark" very offensive and repugnant

j1974

jackiebaron wrote: »

I've been approached on a few occasions. Once by a black girl. She just tapped the shoulder of the guy I was talking to and told him to tell me that she liked me and wanted to talk to me. That was definitely the most forthright I've encountered. She was good in bed too. Another time this woman asked me to join her and her mate on their pub quiz team. Then after the quiz she took me home...but she was a bit of a cougar...37. I was only 23.
Mostly you just need to be cool and don't brag about anything even if you're a mega-rich, genius, astronaut, black-belt, bloody guru of some crap. Girls like down to earth guys who can make them laugh. It helps if you're well turned out, smell nice, are not completely steaming drunk and have on some nice threads. Wear something that stands out and that she'll notice like a cool pair of shoes or a fancy leather jacket. If she complements it, crack a joke that you stole them/it off a corpse in the morgue where you work. That'll get her chuckling, then buy her a double rum and coke and you're on yer way to some serious snoggage followed hopefully by a roll in the hay or at least a phone number.

I'm a guy and I'd go home with you, you're just lovely!!:D

j1974

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

You can't really say that either. Where exactly have you been going!? What kind of girls are you approaching? Supermodels? Because if that's the case then mate I'm sorry, no offense but the girls you're approaching are not going to give you the time of day. Because if they liked you and were into you then trust me they'd be very sweet to you.

Next time you're out have a look around. If you see a girl(s) having a laugh and a giggle and a good time, animated while telling a story, smiling at random passersby and maybe even catching your eye, approach HER. She's the one that will give you the time of day, not the unattainable snob with her nose in the air and a sour expression while she hangs around waiting for some rich yah-yah southsider in a polo shirt to buy her some Moet.

I've said it before and ill say it again, girls like you are as rare as you are ahead of your time.

ancapailldorcha

When I moved to Dublin, a girl once told me she wanted to "fook" me.
Not being a native of the big smoke and therefore unfamiliar with the local dialect, I declined.

j1974

Max Power1 wrote: »

+1


Dear Poster

I find that "remark" very offensive and repugnant

get a harder neck then "MAX". or go sit in the ladies lounge with the rest of the women.

OOOH Yeah DUFF-MAN takes no prisoners!!!

recylingbin

I've mulled over whether I should share this killer line with you, as most of you seem to be gimps and I don't want gimps impregnating women so that there will be a plethora of little gimps running around. But I feel I must divulge it for the greater good of the boards community.

The next time you see a hot chick sat at the bar, after she says hello, hit her with this one

I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex.

billser08

just sooo wish that they did...woul be great for the ego....:)

having said that thik girls I have hit on hav alway been incredibly generous with ther hapy put down of me in a subtle way....no prolem with the no.....just dont make guy suffer

jackiebaron

j1974 wrote: »

I'm a guy and I'd go home with you, you're just lovely!!:D

If you snogged me passionately I'd let you keep the corpse's shoes.

jackiebaron

recylingbin wrote: »

I've mulled over whether I should share this killer line with you, as most of you seem to be gimps and I don't want gimps impregnating women so that there will be a plethora of little gimps running around. But I feel I must divulge it for the greater good of the boards community.

The next time you see a hot chick sat at the bar, after she says hello, hit her with this one

I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex.

Yeah, we all saw "A Beautiful Mind" jelly-head!

ilovebiology

Hi all. OP here again! I read most of the thread, and as I said before I am a very shy girl, but the best thing to do would be to just smile at someone I like, and hope for the best? Getting tired of going out and no guys talking to me! Time for me to take the bull by the horns at this stage of my existance :rolleyes:

Jaxxy

ilovebiology wrote: »

Hi all. OP here again! I read most of the thread, and as I said before I am a very shy girl, but the best thing to do would be to just smile at someone I like, and hope for the best? Getting tired of going out and no guys talking to me! Time for me to take the bull by the horns at this stage of my existance :rolleyes:

Fair play. Best of luck to ya.

Big Nasty

ilovebiology wrote: »

Hi all. OP here again! I read most of the thread, and as I said before I am a very shy girl, but the best thing to do would be to just smile at someone I like, and hope for the best? Getting tired of going out and no guys talking to me! Time for me to take the bull by the horns at this stage of my existance :rolleyes:

Pics or GTFO?