Would many girls approach guys on a night out?

Pretty_Pistol · 25-03-2010 12:00am

ilovebiology wrote: »

Haha! I am a girl! And a very very shy one at that. I never get approached by guys, and I am not ugly, and am slim but get no where

ilovebiology wrote: »

Hi all. OP here again! I read most of the thread, and as I said before I am a very shy girl, but the best thing to do would be to just smile at someone I like, and hope for the best? Getting tired of going out and no guys talking to me! Time for me to take the bull by the horns at this stage of my existance :rolleyes:

You said you're very shy. Maybe your shyness is coming across in your body language and gives off the don't come near me vibe. Keep your back straight, open body (no arms folded) and stand facing towards the guy you like.

Also are you in a big group or a small group? Do you go to the bathroom on your own or with your friends? If you are with a big group and you are in a big enough club/pub go for a quick walk around to check things out on your own.

Bloody Nipples · 25-03-2010 1:31am

I've found the dance floor and the smoking area are the hotspots for picking up the ladies.

I'd be a bit on the shy side about approaching the ladies so generally I leave them approach me which I've always found they have no problem doing. Generally they'll just start talking or laughing at my "energetic" dancing. Then I just interact, bide my time and Lob the Gob* :pac:

*works 60% of the time, every time.

The_Kew_Tour · 25-03-2010 1:33am

Have had my fair share girls come up to me.

Thankfully I always help them have great night:D

southsiderosie · 25-03-2010 1:34am

ilovebiology wrote: »

Apologies in advance if this is a silly thread, or feel free to move it. I am wondering if many girls approach guys when on a night out? Or are most ladies these days leaving it up to guys, or they are just shy themselves?

I wouldn't approach a pack of guys trying to talk to one, but I would definitely chat someone up at the bar while waiting to order drinks...Just did that last week actually and had a most excellent evening...and follow-up.

I honestly don't get the whole "I'll wait for him to approach me" thing. But then again I'm American, and we chat each other up at the grocery store, the gas station, at the bus stop...Maybe I seem like a brazen hussy here in Ireland, but I've certainly had a good time so far...

Fago! · 25-03-2010 1:38am

southsiderosie wrote: »

I wouldn't approach a pack of guys trying to talk to one, but I would definitely chat someone up at the bar while waiting to order drinks...Just did that last week actually and had a most excellent evening...and follow-up.

I honestly don't get the whole "I'll wait for him to approach me" thing. But then again I'm American, and we chat each other up at the grocery store, the gas station, at the bus stop...Maybe I seem like a brazen hussy here in Ireland, but I've certainly had a good time so far...

I wish irish people had the mentality to do that. If I tried to chat someone up at the shops (Even assuming she has a fetish for ugly 19 year old nerds with spikey), she'd run a mile.

Also marry me.

Waterloo Sunset · 25-03-2010 1:42am

What would you say though? Us Irish don't approach randomers anywhere else so I'm still convinced if I said hi to a randomer, they'd look at me like I'd grown a second head!

ilovebiology · 25-03-2010 1:43am

southsiderosie wrote: »

I wouldn't approach a pack of guys trying to talk to one, but I would definitely chat someone up at the bar while waiting to order drinks...Just did that last week actually and had a most excellent evening...and follow-up.

I honestly don't get the whole "I'll wait for him to approach me" thing. But then again I'm American, and we chat each other up at the grocery store, the gas station, at the bus stop...Maybe I seem like a brazen hussy here in Ireland, but I've certainly had a good time so far...

No you don't at all. You are right, and have a bit more courage than me, anyways. Good for you. I'll see how I get on!

pavcro10 · 25-03-2010 1:45am

Yeah, i would. I hope not in an obvious way though, like just a "Hi" type thing, that it hopefully would lead on from there

southsiderosie · 25-03-2010 2:01am

Fago! wrote: »

I wish irish people had the mentality to do that. If I tried to chat someone up at the shops (Even assuming she has a fetish for ugly 19 year old nerds with spikey), she'd run a mile.

Also marry me.

Sorry, I have a thing for balding 40-something nerds. Maybe in about 25 years or so...

I find Irish people to be quite chatty. I always shoot the **** with shopkeepers, I end up talking to strangers in restaurants and bars all of the time, and I haven't had a quiet trip in a taxi yet. I've even chatted with strangers in the grocery store. It may be easier as a foreigner, because people are usually curious about where I'm from (people are usually surprised by my accent). Also, part of my job is getting strangers to talk to me, so I'm less shy about these things. But are there some kind of rules about under what conditions you can talk to strangers? Because if there are, I really haven't noticed them.

ilovebiology · 25-03-2010 2:05am

Fago! wrote: »

That won't matter. As long as you have a vagina and a pulse, an AH'er will try it on with you.

Also, pics or GTFO!!! :P

I'm getting afraid now

Fago! · 25-03-2010 2:10am

Not so much. Some people are quite happy to have a chat or be chatted up in the supermarket or bus stop or whatever and others will find it creepy.

I'm finding as I get older, I am more confident when talking to a girl in a pub or club. But not so far as to go out of my way all the way over to her table. usually I would strike up a chat at the bar while waiting for a drink.

All this shiz about waiting for the girl to do it is poo. Although I'd prefer it, I don't stick to that thought at all.

Fago! · 25-03-2010 2:10am

ilovebiology wrote: »

I'm getting afraid now

PAHAHAHAHAHA

Bless.

The_Kew_Tour · 25-03-2010 2:14am

starbelgrade wrote: »

Yr sooo cool. Can I be yr friend?

NOOOOO

only cause ya cant spell for ****

starbelgrade · 25-03-2010 2:14am

southsiderosie wrote: »

But are there some kind of rules about under what conditions you can't talk to strangers? Because if there are, I really haven't noticed them.

There are;

1. If they offer you sweeties.
2. If they offer you a lift home & you don't know them.

ilovebiology · 25-03-2010 2:17am

Pretty_Pistol wrote: »

You said you're very shy. Maybe your shyness is coming across in your body language and gives off the don't come near me vibe. Keep your back straight, open body (no arms folded) and stand facing towards the guy you like.

Also are you in a big group or a small group? Do you go to the bathroom on your own or with your friends? If you are with a big group and you are in a big enough club/pub go for a quick walk around to check things out on your own.

I'm always genuinely happy to be out, and always have a good time. I usually go out with one or 2 friends, and have always have a great laugh. I have been told I'm attractive, but just don't know whats up with the whole thing at all!

landsleaving · 25-03-2010 2:23am

Your mother telling you you're attractive doesn't count!

Seriously though, any lads I know would be really glad a girl started talking to them, they're just as shy as you most of the time. If you catch his eye and he smiles but doesn't come over to you, he's probably assuming you'll go to him. It's the 21st century you know, girls can chat up guys, and who knows, maybe you'll get to neck in his rocket car later...

Either that or invest in a push up bra and miniskirt.

ilovebiology · 25-03-2010 2:28am

landsleaving wrote: »

Your mother telling you you're attractive doesn't count!

Seriously though, any lads I know would be really glad a girl started talking to them, they're just as shy as you most of the time. If you catch his eye and he smiles but doesn't come over to you, he's probably assuming you'll go to him. It's the 21st century you know, girls can chat up guys, and who knows, maybe you'll get to neck in his rocket car later...

Either that or invest in a push up bra and miniskirt.

My male friends have said it to me. But if I see someone I like looking at me, I freeze and shy away....I seriously have to get courage somewhere or by the looks of things I'll end up alone

Fago! · 25-03-2010 2:33am

ilovebiology wrote: »

My male friends have said it to me. But if I see someone I like looking at me, I freeze and shy away....I seriously have to get courage somewhere or by the looks of things I'll end up alone

Do. If you're attractive as you say you are (and I'm not doubting it), you'll have no problem getting a fella and more often then not won't be rejected if you initiate the chatting up.

A girl more often then not has all the power in these situations.

ilovebiology · 25-03-2010 2:41am

Fago! wrote: »

Do. If you're attractive as you say you are (and I'm not doubting it), you'll have no problem getting a fella and more often then not won't be rejected if you initiate the chatting up.

A girl more often then not has all the power in these situations.

I understand what you are saying and thanks. See in my past, I have ben rejected by guys I like and therefore have no confidence with guys anymore, and am too afraid of been rejected again. So for a long time I go out, and live in hope that someone speaks to me, which dosn't happen, and then I'm here on my own. I don't wish to complain about it or anything, but I just find it really hard to talk to someone I like, its definately my weakest point, but something I need to fix. Sure I'll get there! Alot of good advice and opinions here, so thanks to everyone

Fago! · 25-03-2010 2:48am

If I had a penny for everytime I got rejected I'd have millions. Real confidence killer. 4 out of 5 times I got rejected. But I just kept it up. Now, I'm still single, but confident and happy.

landsleaving · 25-03-2010 2:53am

Everyone. EVERYONE!!! has been rejected lots of times. Trust me, I know I have, and not always very nicely either! Don't let it bother you, it's no fun but meh, no major loss, they weren't nice enough to have a chat with you so they probably weren't worth it anyway.

Oh and if you think you're probably maybe attractive, you're more than likely great looking. In my experience girls either think 'I'm gorgeous' and look like they had a nasty accident in a make up factory or are like you and haven't a clue how the opposite sex really sees them. You could be intimidatingly gorgeous for all you know! I had to find that out about myself the hard way. (*Cough* lies... *cough*.)

Oh and if it makes you feel any better my quite shy girlfirend approached me in a club, then proceeded to make me make all the conversation, so maybe try that. Didn't bother me

force majeure · 25-03-2010 3:13am

Strange as it may sound but until I started reading this topic I thought to myself 'never happens to me' now though I realised it does. Women mainly well say Hi just about any where,bus stops shops doorways smoking a ciggy so all you got to do me thinks is not think about it or plan it, just walk up near some one and say Hi ye. Bingo your off.

jackiebaron · 25-03-2010 10:14am

ilovebiology wrote: »

I understand what you are saying and thanks. See in my past, I have ben rejected by guys I like and therefore have no confidence with guys anymore, and am too afraid of been rejected again. So for a long time I go out, and live in hope that someone speaks to me, which dosn't happen, and then I'm here on my own. I don't wish to complain about it or anything, but I just find it really hard to talk to someone I like, its definately my weakest point, but something I need to fix. Sure I'll get there! Alot of good advice and opinions here, so thanks to everyone

Ara, for Jaysus sake, snap out of it girl! Have you ever gone on a job interview and been rejected? Hasn't made you sit in your room and never apply for a position again, has it? If that was the case you'd starve to death or spend your life on welfare. I was once in a bar in New York with a group of friends. This attractive older blonde lady walked in and sat at the end of the bar and ordered a drink. She looked like a fairly powerful woman who'd had a bad day and I said to my mates "Gentlemen, watch and learn". I approached the woman and before I could get a word out of my mouth she exhaled a drag of her cigarette and without even looking at me she said "Go to hell!". My mates and the barman howled with laughter. It was priceless. A real "I'll get my coat" moment.

Don't be frightened of rejection. Sometimes it can be a cleansing experience. Sometimes an education. Sometimes even a relief. And sometimes funny. I think you'll find that as a woman, 9 times out of 10 you WON'T be rejected.
Just remember, the nervous, blushing, stuttering, stammering candidate in a situation like this is the sweetest and most charming thing imaginable in these tense romantic moments.
If a girl blushed and stuttered in my presence I'd be in love with her straight away. It would tell me that she's infatuated with me.

old hippy · 25-03-2010 1:59pm

Waterloo Sunset wrote: »

What would you say though? Us Irish don't approach randomers anywhere else so I'm still convinced if I said hi to a randomer, they'd look at me like I'd grown a second head!

Whaaat? Sez who?

Abi · 25-03-2010 2:19pm

Fago! wrote: »

A girl more often then not has all the power in these situations.

Fago... can I interest you in a night of passion?

entropi · 25-03-2010 2:49pm

Is this the one serious thread a month that nobody ruins? sweet!:)

OP, i wish ye the best of luck in getting yerself a man...it is true that men would like women to do more of the chasing, but most of the time that wont happen in Ireland so i guess you'll have to do some too:D Have fun!

KarmaGarda · 25-03-2010 3:07pm

Tellin ya, blokes get rejected all the time. I'm not really one of those "approachers" unless I reckon I'm in with a chance. I don't do this machine gun cocky effort to plant my seeds, I pick and choose, and I still got rejected about 4/5 times.

On the flip side, being approached can be mighty hot. If she's cocky and confident a lot of the times she just wants a drink out of ya and then buggers off (had this happen too. I learnt quick, only let it happen about 10 times). But, if the girl is fumbling her words a bit and a bit embarrassed, and seems like she's actually into you, she'd barely have time to blink before me cacks would hit the floor... although maybe that's why I spent a lot of my life single...

Anyway, just do it, balls first (or breasts in your case) and think later. Seriously, before you have time to think, just do it. Start walking over, seriously, just start walking, and a couple of hours later when yer burnin the leather off the back seat of your car you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. (...or weeks later, I dunno how long ye yung uns wait these days)

Good luck. Happy lampin.

Shapey Fiend · 25-03-2010 3:25pm

Foreign women are much more inclined to approach, and make pretty overt signs that they're interested. Irish women hardly ever do this. Not that I'm complaining. I find the other a little bit intimidating. I'm used to having to chase so that's my comfort zone.

Ratio of men and women in a place makes a huuuuge difference as well. I'm down the country and there are feck all women around so any attractive women are getting approached constantly and they don't bother doing much of it themselves. If you go to Dublin the ratio can sometimes be women than me (shock horror!) and you find the dynamic changes.

Xinkai · 25-03-2010 3:27pm

Abitar wrote: »

Fago... can I interest you in a night of passion?

Gwan the Fago!

Fago! · 25-03-2010 4:04pm

Abitar wrote: »

Fago... can I interest you in a night of passion?

Yes..... Yes you can Abi. After Hours beers.

Xinkai wrote: »

Gwan the Fago!

Fagoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Woo!

Abi · 25-03-2010 4:07pm

Fago! wrote: »

Yes..... Yes you can Abi. After Hours beers.

Wat?! You're gonna make me wait?? :eek:

Fuck that shit...

/booty calls

Fago! · 25-03-2010 4:24pm

Abitar wrote: »

Wat?! You're gonna make me wait?? :eek:

Fuck that shit...

/booty calls

PM baaaaaaaaayyyyyyyybzzzzz

jackiebaron · 25-03-2010 4:32pm

Abitar wrote: »

Fago... can I interest you in a night of passion?

OP, there's your answer right there. Walk up to the bloke and utter the words above.

Fago! · 25-03-2010 4:35pm

Fago... can I interest you in a night of passion?

jackiebaron wrote: »

OP, there's your answer right there. Walk up to the bloke and utter the words above.

What if that bloke's not called Fago!?

Abi · 25-03-2010 4:39pm

jackiebaron wrote: »

OP, there's your answer right there. Walk up to the bloke and utter the words above.

They've never let me down anyway...

Fago! · 25-03-2010 4:41pm

Abitar wrote: »

They've never let me down anyway...

Courage is the way to a mans penis heart

GHOST MGG2 · 25-03-2010 4:51pm

Years ago i was approached by 2 women in a irish bar in paris..both stunners..i thought all my birthdays had come together when they asked me back to there apartment..we were sitting on a couch in there front room drinking vodka and talking ****e.next thing the "lets hit the sack" conversation started,so like shergar at the track i made my way into there bedroom,they went to get "ready".I decided to start to take me clothes off..with that these 2 massive african gentleman burst out of a sliderobes kinda wardrobe and grabbed me.my whole life flashed in front of my eyes,after getting a few slaps they took my coat and wallet and my watch and they ran..i was like wtf..i put my jocks back on and legged it..didnt even see the 2 chicks.Long story short in the end it was some kinda setup that had being happening in that area for a while the gendarmes said,the apartment was rented to a 60yr artist who was on holidays.So anytime a woman approaches me i get that scared rabbit look and run..

jackiebaron · 25-03-2010 10:37pm

Abitar wrote: »

They've never let me down anyway...

I was in this bar in Amsterdam vying for the attention of this sparkly English maiden with some other boorish spud-head. He eventually threw down the gauntlet stating to me (and her) that she was going home with him. I said "Fine mate, but I don't think you'll both fit under your rock."

I made her a lovely brekky the next morning. The shameless minx scabbed taxi money off me too to get back to her hotel. I was only too happy to oblige. It added to the sensation of being used.

Abi · 25-03-2010 10:46pm

jackiebaron wrote: »

The shameless minx scabbed taxi money off me too to get back to her hotel. I was only too happy to oblige. It added to the sensation of being used.

I like her style!

/makes up phone number :pac:

red herring · 26-04-2010 4:44am

Yep I would defo approach a hot guy on a night out, I just accidently bump into him, or ask him for a smoke, or start dancing with him on the dancefloor.. But I usually need a drink before I'm fully confident, so I'm trying to work on that!

Opium led greed · 26-04-2010 5:04am

GHOST MGG2 wrote: »

Years ago i was approached by 2 women in a irish bar in paris..both stunners..i thought all my birthdays had come together when they asked me back to there apartment..we were sitting on a couch in there front room drinking vodka and talking ****e.next thing the "lets hit the sack" conversation started,so like shergar at the track i made my way into there bedroom,they went to get "ready".I decided to start to take me clothes off..with that these 2 massive african gentleman burst out of a sliderobes kinda wardrobe and grabbed me.my whole life flashed in front of my eyes,after getting a few slaps they took my coat and wallet and my watch and they ran..i was like wtf..i put my jocks back on and legged it..didnt even see the 2 chicks.Long story short in the end it was some kinda setup that had being happening in that area for a while the gendarmes said,the apartment was rented to a 60yr artist who was on holidays.So anytime a woman approaches me i get that scared rabbit look and run..

The french sure do put a lot of effort into their muggings, makes our local "gimme yer bleedin phone" knackers look tame in comparison.

shayno90 · 26-04-2010 10:12am

It's funny how all of a sudden, most the female Board's posters to this thread say they approach men, seems like they are trying to save face by saying their are proactive by taking some initiative!. But in reality, very seldom on a night out do I see women approach men. They believe it's not their responsibility and who wants to leave their comfort zone. Time for a reality check, me thinks

minidazzler · 26-04-2010 10:28am

shayno90 wrote: »

It's funny how all of a sudden, most the female Board's posters to this thread say they approach men, seems like they are trying to save face by saying their are proactive by taking some initiative!. But in reality, very seldom on a night out do I see women approach men. They believe it's not their responsibility and who wants to leave their comfort zone. Time for a reality check, me thinks

Do you actually spend the night watching women?

Maybe they just don't approach you? :P

IME, they aren't as likely to explicitly approach as they are to make there intentions painfully obvious by dancing right up to you.

seraphimvc · 26-04-2010 10:33am

shayno90 wrote: »

It's funny how all of a sudden, most the female Board's posters to this thread say they approach men, seems like they are trying to save face by saying their are proactive by taking some initiative!. But in reality, very seldom on a night out do I see women approach men. They believe it's not their responsibility and who wants to leave their comfort zone. Time for a reality check, me thinks

thats what i think too after i read some pages in this thread.

been observing the situation for few years now and i am confident to say if you get a girl approached you on a night out,that means she must been eyeing you for a long long long time(<-this can means few hours if she just sees you:eek:) and you moron didnt get the vibe so she have no choice but to do it herself.

i miss the real world:o

Abi · 26-04-2010 10:37am

shayno90 wrote: »

It's funny how all of a sudden, most the female Board's posters to this thread say they approach men, seems like they are trying to save face by saying their are proactive by taking some initiative!. But in reality, very seldom on a night out do I see women approach men. They believe it's not their responsibility and who wants to leave their comfort zone. Time for a reality check, me thinks

/looks at ground

/twists foot nervously

Ummm... would you uhhh... like to go out with me?

arsenallegend · 26-04-2010 10:44am

No way do girls come up to you especially in this country. Its the guys who have to do the work and i think its selfish that girls can't take the time to do more to chat up a guy. In their mind they think its there god given right not to do anything and let the guy make a tit out of themselfs trying the right words to impress 'em.

I know there's a few women who will do the chatting up but i can't say i ever saw it.

shayno90 · 26-04-2010 10:45am

minidazzler wrote: »

Do you actually spend the night watching women?

Yep, I hide in a dark corner with a pair of binoculars like watching the gazelle on the plain being chased by some cheetahs (like the analogy!)

minidazzler wrote: »

Maybe they just don't approach you? :P

I am not bothered if they do or don't but I just found it laughable when all of sudden most of the female posters say they approach guys, let me guess you one of them also

minidazzler wrote: »

IME, they aren't as likely to explicitly approach as they are to make there intentions painfully obvious by dancing right up to you.

Yep, you need a guide book to apparently read these supposed signals women think they are giving plus the binoculars don't help

Des Carter · 26-04-2010 10:48am

Never had a girl approach me but come to think of it Im often on the dancefloor minding my own business when out of nowhere some chick would shoulder me in the back or push me away violently. This happens quite often is it a sign there interested or do I always stand on womens toes or something without noticing.

If they do it to get my attention its a crap strategy and a total turnoff.

minidazzler · 26-04-2010 10:52am

shayno90 wrote: »

I am not bothered if they do or don't but I just found it laughable when all of sudden most of the female posters say they approach guys, let me guess you one of them also

Yep, you need a guide book to apparently read these supposed signals women think they are giving plus the binoculars don't help

Most of the female posters who posted on this thread said it. Not most of the female posters.

No guide book needed if you aren't afraid to throw caution to the wind and let the cards fall where they may.

arsenallegend · 26-04-2010 11:01am

Des Carter wrote: »

Never had a girl approach me but come to think of it Im often on the dancefloor minding my own business when out of nowhere some chick would shoulder me in the back or push me away violently. This happens quite often is it a sign there interested or do I always stand on womens toes or something without noticing.

If they do it to get my attention its a crap strategy and a total turnoff.

No your taking up their personal Diva space:D

Would many girls approach guys on a night out?

Comments