Any advice for a 10 year old struggling to make friends?

Calil11

Hi everyone.
I'm really worried as this evening my daughter told me she spends most breaktimes wandering around on her own and I'm hoping someone can advise me. She doesn't seem to get on with the teacher either and had a problem with last years teacher, she feels they don't like her and "pick on her". As a rational adult I know its highly unlikely that 2 teachers would do this so I can only presume there is a problem somewhere. I won't be able to speak to the teacher until after the holidays to sort out that side.
So back to the friends thing- she has always had 2 close friends in her class but recently both these girls have made other friends and drifted away, she seems to think they don't want her to join in and walk away when she approaches. She won't play with the kids that live on our road and she won't do any other activities where she might make friends and I'm at a loss as to how I can help her. To me she is a happy bubbly child but she does seem to have only a small amount of confidence. I'm really really worried as she said it's been going on for 3 or 4 weeks now and she didn't want to worry me - she's even considering being picked up from school at breaktimes to avoid the situation.
Please please help me if you can as I'm at my wits end and really don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading!

cynder

You cant force kids to be friends, i was very like your daughter as a kid, limited friends. Have a word with the teacher and see if they can shed any light in the situation. It must be getting her down if she has said something to you. As a last resort would you put her into a different school.

If she is being excluded by her class mates then she is being bullied. Exculsion is a form of bullying so do speak to her teacher/principle.

smelltheglove

That is heartbreaking, poor thing. I remember when my daughter started her new school she was like that for the first few days and I was so upset over it, the thought of them being alone. I was similar when I was a child to you daughter, certain friends and when they began to bond with others I just didnt know how to make other friends. She is still quite young although at an age where the teacher may find it more difficult to pair kids up together. Speak to the teacher to get her view but at the same time I would be asking your daughter to invite some of the girls around to the house, when she is in her own comfort zone she may find it easier to socialise and with the days getting nicer they could play out in the garden or whatever. Does she have friends on your street or is she like this at home too?

amdublin

You should have a chat with her teacher.

The teacher may be able to advise of another child/children who are in a similar situation. You might be able to arrange play dates with their parent(s).

Or are any of the kids in her class in after school activities? You could enroll her in those and she may make friends for during the day that way?

Calil11

Thanks for the replies. I am intending to have a chat with her teacher after the holidays, she seems to be making friends with a different girl in the class so I am going to see if she want's to invite her to the cinema, bowling...anything that will help them bond! She won't do any after school clubs where she doesn't already know someone so thats out and the kids around here are all to young to play with. Hopefully it will work itself out soon.
Thanks again