The Breast Feeding Support Thread

jlm29

yellow hen wrote: »

Ok, I'm in desperate need of advice. My problem isn't strictly about breastfeeding but I think it's arisen as a result of breastfeeding so I thought it belonged in this forum. Please bear with me as these are the ramblings of a very sleep deprived mammy

I'm still bfeeding my 7 month old baby girl. She's weaned almost 2 months now and has a lessening interest in breastfeeding during the day but I still offer her breast regularly to ensure she is getting enough fluid (I give her water in a beaker too but most of it ends up on her). Until a month ago she was sleeping in her cot in our room. I just had removed one side of it and pushed it against our bed as a form of co-sleeping. I moved her out of her room as she had started to wake very frequently and could only be settled by boob and I thought moving her to her own room and away from the smell of me might help. It hasn't. In fact it's worse. She wakes within 2 hrs of going to bed and is inconsolable until she gets a boob. I should say that she's no problem going to sleep in her cot twice a day and I put on white noise and she falls off to sleep now bother. At night the white noise doesn't work though. When she wakes at night I lift her and feed her the first time she wakes but it is then nigh on impossible to get her back into the cot. I'm like a ninja creeping around trying to get her back in without wakening. So every night she ends up sleeping in our bed and nuzzling around looking for a boob. She can semi waje looking for boob about 10 times a night so I'm getting feck all sleep. I cannot get a night out, even to the cinema, as my husband can't settle her. He hasn't slept in our bed in over a month either as she is in it every night and I wouldn't feel safe with us all know the one bed. I desperately need advice on what to do.I fear that it's time for tough love now but I just want to see what other people did.

I'm in a similar situation, though we're at 11 months. Every now and again he has one or two great nights, and that pulls me back from the edge, but then he will have a run of bad nights. I keep being told to leave him cry it out, but I haven't the heart. Our room isn't big enough to move in his big cot with one side off it, otherwise that's what I'd do. We don't have a spare room either at the moment, otherwise I'd be in there with him. I have considered just buying a single bed for baby's room and setting up the cot as a cosleeper in there.

spottybananas

We've a similar situation but he's 19 months Has never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time. Cosleeping with all of us in the same bed kept us sane for a very long time (not any more, tpp exhausted to feel relief now), we just have a standard double with a toddler bed against it as a safety rail, he doesn't sleep in it. Baby should sleep on your side only, not between you, that's perfectly safe.

No advice other than that, my son still wakes every 30mins to 2/3 hours screaming, crying, not looking for milkies, does it no matter who he's with, so I've no answer for you, just support!

yellow hen

Oh crikey, I don't think I can continue this that long. I'm seriously considering stopping bfeeding now as I know it's my boob she's looking for all the time. I'm just tired and fed up

jlm29

yellow hen wrote: »

Oh crikey, I don't think I can continue this that long. I'm seriously considering stopping bfeeding now as I know it's my boob she's looking for all the time. I'm just tired and fed up

My plan has always been to wean at 1, but I have no idea where to start. I'm also a bit afraid to, because he could still wake up often, and then I'd have to be faffing around making bottles during the night!

Kathy22

yellow hen wrote: »

Ok, I'm in desperate need of advice. My problem isn't strictly about breastfeeding but I think it's arisen as a result of breastfeeding so I thought it belonged in this forum. Please bear with me as these are the ramblings of a very sleep deprived mammy

I'm still bfeeding my 7 month old baby girl. She's weaned almost 2 months now and has a lessening interest in breastfeeding during the day but I still offer her breast regularly to ensure she is getting enough fluid (I give her water in a beaker too but most of it ends up on her). Until a month ago she was sleeping in her cot in our room. I just had removed one side of it and pushed it against our bed as a form of co-sleeping. I moved her out of her room as she had started to wake very frequently and could only be settled by boob and I thought moving her to her own room and away from the smell of me might help. It hasn't. In fact it's worse. She wakes within 2 hrs of going to bed and is inconsolable until she gets a boob. I should say that she's no problem going to sleep in her cot twice a day and I put on white noise and she falls off to sleep now bother. At night the white noise doesn't work though. When she wakes at night I lift her and feed her the first time she wakes but it is then nigh on impossible to get her back into the cot. I'm like a ninja creeping around trying to get her back in without wakening. So every night she ends up sleeping in our bed and nuzzling around looking for a boob. She can semi waje looking for boob about 10 times a night so I'm getting feck all sleep. I cannot get a night out, even to the cinema, as my husband can't settle her. He hasn't slept in our bed in over a month either as she is in it every night and I wouldn't feel safe with us all know the one bed. I desperately need advice on what to do.I fear that it's time for tough love now but I just want to see what other people did.

Not much advice here either but am in a very similar situation. My baby is 5 and a half months. He was a good sleeper until around the 4 month mark and is now dreadful at sleeping. We used to have him in our room at all times but now he sleeps in his own cot in his room from 8pm until he wakes at 2am and then he comes into our room. I have a co-sleeper and try keep him in there but he gets fussy, cries, rolls over into our bed etc. The last week I have been putting him back in after feeding and giving him a soother as when he is beside me he wakes frequently sometimes multiple times in an hour and looks for the boob. I don't know the answer and am in a similar boat. I'm hoping he improves with age and solids The lack of sleep is pretty horrible!

lazygal

I night weaned both mine at about 6-8 months. I needed the sleep! Still breastfeeding number two and he's well over three. Night weaning and gentle sleep training doesn't mean you've to quit breastfeeding. In fact, it helped me keep going knowing I had a full night's sleep.

jlm29

lazygal wrote: »

I night weaned both mine at about 6-8 months. I needed the sleep! Still breastfeeding number two and he's well over three. Night weaning and gentle sleep training doesn't mean you've to quit breastfeeding. In fact, it helped me keep going knowing I had a full night's sleep.

That's good to hear! Maybe I should try night weaning rather than stopping altogether, although I'm quite keen to have another quite quickly, and I suppose continuing to feed might hamper my efforts!

spottybananas

Night weaning also doesn't necessarily mean they'll sleep, my son is night weaned and still wakes 5-6+ times a night.

But jlm29 after 1 you don't have to be making bottles, you can give cows milk, no need for formula/"follow on" milk. Night weaning is also not usually recommended before 1.

LegacyUser

I recommend the book "the no cry sleep solution". It has a lot of tips of helping babies sleep longer esp breastfed babies. She talks about the importance of good sleep for babies. One of the most useful tips was to teach baby to fall asleep by themselves at the start of the night. Often if they wake later in the night, they will then be able to fall back asleep by themselves. her method allows for feeding / cuddling baby when they wake at night because it is how they first fall asleep at the start of the night that has the most impact. I also found useful tips in the book The baby whisperer solves all your problems. I used these at 8 months and baby changed to waking 1 or 2/3 times usually. After I stopped BF at 14 months, he slept through the night.

I personally think sleep is really important for babies and while baby waking 2-3 times at night might be tolerable I don't think it is good if baby wakes a few times every hour, that cannot be restful for them.

lazygal

jlm29 wrote: »

That's good to hear! Maybe I should try night weaning rather than stopping altogether, although I'm quite keen to have another quite quickly, and I suppose continuing to feed might hamper my efforts!

I conceived my second while feeding, and continued breastfeeding until I was about six or seven months pregnant.

jlm29

spottybananas wrote: »

Night weaning also doesn't necessarily mean they'll sleep, my son is night weaned and still wakes 5-6+ times a night.

But jlm29 after 1 you don't have to be making bottles, you can give cows milk, no need for formula/"follow on" milk. Night weaning is also not usually recommended before 1.

I know I wouldn't have to be making bottles, but going downstairs and putting cows milk in a bottle would still be a lot more hassle than pulling up my top!

jlm29

lazygal wrote: »

I conceived my second while feeding, and continued breastfeeding until I was about six or seven months pregnant.

I know it's possible and that plenty people do conceive whilst pregnant, but it might slow down the process too!

lazygal

jlm29 wrote: »

I know I wouldn't have to be making bottles, but going downstairs and putting cows milk in a bottle would still be a lot more hassle than pulling up my top!

You can just give water in a sippy cup. Second child here never had cows milk and still doesn't like it so we never bothered with it.

yellow hen

lazygal wrote: »

I night weaned both mine at about 6-8 months. I needed the sleep! Still breastfeeding number two and he's well over three. Night weaning and gentle sleep training doesn't mean you've to quit breastfeeding. In fact, it helped me keep going knowing I had a full night's sleep.

Probably daft question but how did you do it? I honestly don't know how to stop. In my bed again last night. She's so reliable and wakes now within 90mins of going to bed which means I have to go to bed too as she just won't settle.

lazygal

yellow hen wrote: »

Probably daft question but how did you do it? I honestly don't know how to stop. In my bed again last night. She's so reliable and wakes now within 90mins of going to bed which means I have to go to bed too as she just won't settle.

I did a bit of soothing and putting them back to sleep without a feed. I broke the associations with feeding and waking over a couple of weeks. I know they were getting plenty of milk so night waking was more habit than anything. It takes time and it'll depend on whether you're comfortable with letting them cry a little before you go into sooth them.

yellow hen

lazygal wrote: »

I did a bit of soothing and putting them back to sleep without a feed. I broke the associations with feeding and waking over a couple of weeks. I know they were getting plenty of milk so night waking was more habit than anything. It takes time and it'll depend on whether you're comfortable with letting them cry a little before you go into sooth them.

Thanks a million. I'm going to give it a go. I'm not comfortable with letting her cry, no more than any mother is but I'm desperate now.

jlm29

lazygal wrote: »

I did a bit of soothing and putting them back to sleep without a feed. I broke the associations with feeding and waking over a couple of weeks. I know they were getting plenty of milk so night waking was more habit than anything. It takes time and it'll depend on whether you're comfortable with letting them cry a little before you go into sooth them.

Did you yourself go in, or was it your OH? I feel a bit mean withholding my boobs, but my OH works crazy long hours, and drives a lot, so I'd be uncomfortable asking him to be sleep deprived for a few nights in a row, as I think it's unsafe!

lazygal

jlm29 wrote: »

Did you yourself go in, or was it your OH? I feel a bit mean withholding my boobs, but my OH works crazy long hours, and drives a lot, so I'd be uncomfortable asking him to be sleep deprived for a few nights in a row, as I think it's unsafe!

I did it, I was still on maternity leave and it was just the practical solution. I picked up and soothed, put them back in after a cuddle and waited outside. Repeat as needed, really! After a couple of nights they would wake, mooch a bit and then usually go back to sleep. I never let them cry for very long, but I did hold back for a minute or two to see if they would settle without me.

lazygal

yellow hen wrote: »

Thanks a million. I'm going to give it a go. I'm not comfortable with letting her cry, no more than any mother is but I'm desperate now.

Yeah, I was at the point where it was do this or switch to bottles! I didn't ever let them cry for long, but I found after a short time they might wake and then settle themselves. I know every parent is different though. I also know people who have two or three year olds still waking several times a night too, and I knew our relationship would suffer if we had a long period without good sleep for all of us. The way I saw it was that we introduce them to solids and show them how to eat properly so sleep hygiene is equally important.

spottybananas

Yellow hen I think it's good to remember there's a difference between a baby being left alone to cry themselves to sleep and a baby being soothed and cuddled by a loving parent while they cry because you are doing it for "the greater good", aka your sanity or to wean them a bit etc. I wasn't comfortable with letting him cry at all either but chronic sleep deprivation broke me and I find remembering the above helps me.

bovril

I was in Arnotts today and they have a lovely breastfeeding area near the kids clothes. 3 chairs (two are rocking) and a water cooler. It's beside the loos near Mamas and Papas.

Lucuma

We got a sleep specialist when baby was 4 months and used gentle methods to reduce the feeding on and off all night to 2 defined night feeds, spaced 4 hours apart. That was since reduced to 1 night feed (which is still going strong at 6 months) and I'll be stopping that when she's well established on solids, she's only on them about 2 weeks. I heard Lucy Woulfe on the radio she said when solids are well established like 8 months or so, you can stop night feeds. That's just her opinion. I think breastfeeding websites say not to night wean til they're 1 but depends where you are psychologically.
For a few weeks we (both) soothed her and shusshed her with the dodie and gentle rocking etc to get her to sleep at all other times outside of the scheduled 1 or 2 feeds.
She has slowly slowly improved. She has still hung onto one difficult habit which is that after her night feed she wakes every hour or so til morning. So for that I have had to resort to tough love as I reached the end of my tether. There are no easy answers as you can see from the replies here! Find what works and what you're comfortable with and try to get your husband to help you with weaning her off the boob at night !! Otherwise you'll be wrecked and will just 'cave'

hollymartins

When I wanted to cut back on the night time feeds I very gradually shortened the feeds. Previously if he fell asleep while feeding I would have woken him up and he'd feed for a bit more, so I started to put him back in his cot when he initially finished rather than coaxing him to take more. We reached a stage where he was waking once but would only feed for a few minutes before pushing me away.

Then I tried a few nights of not feeding him, instead I gave him a soother, if he didn't go back to sleep I would feed him but most of the time he would just drift back off. I know some people don't want to use a soother but it worked for me and he was still gaining weight. He's been sleeping through since he was 7 months old, we don't use the soother if he wakes during the night he goes back to sleep himself (though I still use the soother for naps)

Cunning Stunt

I am also trying to night wean my 12 month old now. I have to go away for a few nights in two weeks time and at the moment it would be a disaster to leave her with daddy, because she nurses to sleep and gets the boob a few times during the night too. We have a 3 yr old who my husband normally settles to bed while I settle the 12 month old, so I honestly don't know how he will manage both while I am away and its making me not want to go

I am working so I am going to wait until Friday and then I will try to swap to cows milk in a bottle. I am also going to try to get her to sleep in her cot rather than my bed. Is it do-able in 2 weeks or am I crazy?

Ciarrai76

I am currently trying to wean from breastfeeding and I've got it down to a morning feed & a late evening feed. The rest of time is bottles. I am back to work in a few weeks so ideally I wanted it to be finished by then but I'm not too sure how to stop the morning feed, as I read the night feed is the last to go. How do I stop that morning feed so that I'm not engirged by lunchtime?
Currently I'm not engorged in the morn (or evening), but I would be if I didn't do the morn feed. Any tips?

Marz66

Ciarrai, to prevent engorgement you could pump / hand express in the morning but reduce the amount every day so that your body gradually gets used to making less milk rather than a sudden change

Marz66

Cunning, if you want to night wean for good, then no harm to start now before your trip

If you just want to do it because you'll be away for a few days, then they say Dad will find a way to settle baby. Baby will know you're not there and will settle for Dad eventually - he could try rocking or bouncing gently on bed while singing etc

Ciarrai76

Marz66 wrote: »

Ciarrai, to prevent engorgement you could pump / hand express in the morning but reduce the amount every day so that your body gradually gets used to making less milk rather than a sudden change

Would his still work if I just reduce the amount if time I breastfeed him & then just too him up with a bottle feed or is it better to do it with the pump?

Marz66

Ciarrai76 wrote: »

Would his still work if I just reduce the amount if time I breastfeed him & then just too him up with a bottle feed or is it better to do it with the pump?

Yep that should work just as well

Ciarrai76

Marz66 wrote: »

Yep that should work just as well

Thanks, that's kind of what I've been doing so at least I'm on the right track. It seems to be a much slower process than I expected. It's when to stop the feeds I'm unsure of though. How do you know when it's ok to just stop?