First Time!

Bolag_the_2nd

Bonito wrote: »

Why are you imagining me naked at 15. I'm much hawter now :pac:

no, no more, dum de dum de dum :eek: i was refering to your post, oh dear god, no more mental pictures, PLEASE

CianRyan

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

no, no more, dum de dum de dum :eek: i was refering to your post, oh dear god, no more mental pictures, PLEASE

I'm against this notion.

MOAR!!





Hopefully this is relevant to the op, tonight! ;D

AllInOne

Biggins wrote: »

Never mind Syphilis, keep an eye out for her sister "Gonorrhoea". She can be a whole lot of trouble.
That said, if you run into their Russian cousin "Onya Bachyabitch" - your laughing! Ask her to join in! :cool:

You're pretty awesome.

jd007

Epic thread!!

OP whatever you do don't forget to record the whole thing and show it to us after so we can, er, tell you how you did!:P

CianRyan

Also, show your girl this thread afterwards, she'll really respect you for looking for advice.

Bonito

CianRyan wrote: »

Also, show your girl this thread afterwards, she'll really respect you for looking for advice.

Would yours? :pac:

No seriously don't. He should deliberately feck it up big time. That "You weren't a virgin you'd done this before!!!!" argument that follows afterward isn't pretty at all

CianRyan

Bonito wrote: »

Would yours? :pac:

No seriously don't. He should deliberately feck it up big time. That "You weren't a virgin you'd done this before!!!!" argument that follows afterward isn't pretty at all

Ask her yourself. :rolleyes:

You have to tell them it's beginners luck, man.
That way, you can use it again and again and again... Just not with the same girl.

I think...

Bonito

Dammit why didn't I think of beginners luck. Meh. No point trying to dust tracks now

Op has disappeared. He must be getting jiggay

CianRyan

Fingers crossed.
I swear, if he bails on pics, I'm going to report every post he makes!

Bonito

When you have your 1st time you'll give us pics, right? :pac::p

GirlOfGlass

He'll be concentrating on his technique, rather than even thinking about pictures. haha.
Poor guy.

Bonito

bah who needs concentration. Don't listen to her your technique is perfect baby

GirlOfGlass

Bonito wrote: »

bah who needs concentration. Don't listen to her your technique is perfect baby

Hang on, who's technique we talking about?

Bonito

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

Hang on, who's technique we talking about?

The Op's, of course :rolleyes:

Did I cover up good enough?

GirlOfGlass

Bonito wrote: »

bah who needs concentration. Don't listen to her your technique is perfect baby

If his technique is perfect, then he wouldn't have posted this. :P

And no, no you didn't.

Bonito

Dammit! It's ok I'll see myself out. Nothing to see here.

Tail Wagger

Snas wrote: »

Ok so I'm 17 and I'm pretty sure that me and my girlfriend will be getting down and dirty this weekend.

It'll be my first time, but not hers.

So any advice? Any do's or dont's:)

Much appreciated!

Snas.

Give;us your ould address and We'll all pop over and give you a crash course?

Tail Wagger

It'll be all over in a flash? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

CianRyan

Bonito wrote: »

When you have your 1st time you'll give us pics, right? :pac::p

As long as you repay the favour!;)

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

He'll be concentrating on his technique, rather than even thinking about pictures. haha.
Poor guy.

I'm not sure who this was aimed at, so just incase... **** YOU!! hahaha

Tail Wagger wrote: »

Give;us your ould address and We'll all pop over and give you a crash course?

Best thing to come out of this thead yet.
Mass boardsie orgy FTW!!

CianRyan

WAHEY!! hahaha
I'd be taking some of the advice in this thread, now THAT'S a threat!

Edit: What else did he post?
I only got to see the OP in his thread.

Bonito

I suggest working from angry pirate up to a spiderman :pac:

CianRyan

I'm dying to try out some wolfbagging!
How could that ever be bad?!

Bonito

You don't want to find out.

GirlOfGlass

CianRyan wrote: »

I'm dying to try out some wolfbagging!
How could that ever be bad?!

CIAN! That's disgusting.
You want sick all over you?

Bonito

I don't think he'll be at that end :pac:

AllInOne

I really hope the very first thing OP does when he comes home is come on boards and tell us the big news :P I also wonder how long he's been with his young lady...hmm!

Gigiwagga

Seriously, a last piece of sound advice. About 5 minutes before you get down to business excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, take a small, pea sized squeeze of toothpaste and rub it around your scrotal area, massage it well in. Now hurry back to the lovemaking. You should be ready to roll. Good luck.

orourkeda

info@williamrua wrote: »

Seriously, a last piece of sound advice. About 5 minutes before you get down to business excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, take a small, pea sized squeeze of toothpaste and rub it around your scrotal area, massage it well in. Now hurry back to the lovemaking. You should be ready to roll. Good luck.

It will sting the bollocks of him.

Quite literally.

A_Border_Bandit

... but they love the taste :P

orourkeda

splash a big toothpaste load all over her face

dubtom

I haven't read all 16 pages to know if this has been advised,it's worth repeating anyway, Wack one off a couple of hours before the deed,it may just give you an extra minute or so.

elius

Go to a porn site and learn to fook like a pro. At least come monday she'll be able to tell her mates you where deadly.

But i'm pretty sure come monday ya'll still be a V-I-R-G-I-N. Your way to sure your going to get it. Women are difficult i was promised it tonight i'm sitting on boards at 1.21 while she's KO'ed on the sofa nothings guaranteed with women you will discover this with age ;)

:edited to say theres nothing wrong with being a virgin

Bonito

elius wrote: »

i was promised it tonight i'm sitting on boards at 1.21 while she's KO'ed on the sofa

WTF are you doing on here? Mount up and ride her like sea biscuit If she wakes up simply say she promised. Guaranteed it'll stand up in court

elius

Bonito wrote: »

WTF are you doing on here? Mount up and ride her like sea biscuit If she wakes up simply say she promised. Guaranteed it'll stand up in court

Between the snouring and grunts. Ill stick with boards :D:D

Bonito

elius wrote: »

Between the snouring and grunts. Ill stick it in :D:D

Good man

landsleaving

CianRyan wrote: »

Best thing to come out of this thead yet.
Mass boardsie orgy FTW!!

In before cock.

elius

Bonito wrote: »

Good man

Legend.... :D:D

somethingwitty

Just before it comes to putting your wiggle in her, ask her to take it easy on you!:pac:

Agent Smith

Andres Delicious Toothbrush wrote: »

Do the spiderman on her, but in order for it to work, you have to surprise her... women fcuking love it. She'll tell all her friends and you will get as much sex as you want, but you have to do it right... Sounds odd, but they love it for some reason. This move has helped me out so much in the past...

Here's a description.

he act of jizzing in your hand after pulling out and then throwing it in your partner's eye.
Girl 1: Why are your eyes all red and swollen?
Girl 2: My boyfriend spiderman'd me last night.

Surprise her with an Angry Pirate....

Degag

dubtom wrote: »

I haven't read all 16 pages to know if this has been advised,it's worth repeating anyway, Wack one off a couple of hours before the deed,it may just give you an extra minute or so.

A couple hours?!

This is a horny 17 year old virgin we are talking about, think of all the sexual energy you had at that age.... 20 minutes beforehand perhaps.

Snas

It's not til tonight it's supposed to happen. SUPPOSED to happen.

I haven't whacked me bucket in 2 weeks! Time to get busy.

CianRyan

Snas wrote: »

It's not til tonight it's supposed to happen. SUPPOSED to happen.

I haven't whacked me bucket in 2 weeks! Time to get busy.

GET IN THERE, SON!!
Don't suggest sex, just suggest calling it a night, once in bed, don't suggest sex, just cuddle and she will decide how things roll out.
Never pressure, make her feel comfortable and this will increase your chances a whole lot.
Although this is of course, ultimately about you getting your hole for the first time, you've to make sure she think's this is all about her.

G'luck, that's all else I can say at this stage.
And I hope you've practised with the jonnies! Horrible turn off for both of you, if you can't get the yoke on. it should ten second at the absolute most, anything after that you're having a laugh. If you can't get it on at all, well then... You're not getting any and she's in a bad mood.


Get your bit, boy. Get your bit!:)

Mr Benevolent

And I hope you've practised with the jonnies! Horrible turn off for both of you, if you can't get the yoke on. it should ten second at the absolute most, anything after that you're having a laugh. If you can't get it on at all, well then... You're not getting any and she's in a bad mood.

Wrong approach. Get her to put it on you.

Abi

Degag wrote: »

A couple hours?!

This is a horny 17 year old virgin we are talking about, think of all the sexual energy you had at that age.... 20 minutes beforehand perhaps.

Try 20 seconds

Confab wrote: »

Wrong approach. Get her to put it on you.

I dunno. I wouldn't do this because I've longish nails 0/

bonzodog2

Abitar wrote: »

Try 20 seconds


I dunno. I wouldn't do this because I've longish nails 0/

I have been told some ladies are able to fit on a condom orally.

OP, I hope it goes well for you.

Abi

bonzodog2 wrote: »

I have been told some ladies are able to fit on a condom orally.

0 gawd no... teeth! 0/

DubMedic

Abitar wrote: »

0 gawd no... teeth! 0/

Reminds me of that scene in the shawshank redemption.

.

Le King

Snas wrote: »

Ok so I'm 17 and I'm pretty sure that me and my girlfriend will be getting down and dirty this weekend.

It'll be my first time, but not hers.

So any advice? Any do's or dont's:)

Much appreciated!

Snas.

Council end, son.

Big Nasty

G'luck tonight Snas!

Skuxx

I know its been said, but just relax! If things don't work out the way your planning, don't let it upset you! Everyones first time is probly far from what they thought it would be!

Go out there and spread the love:D