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BF no interest in my....

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  • 27-03-2010 12:46am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey I am a long time member of boards, I am posting using a differant nickname... anyway...

    I have been with my BF for many years now 10+, last year I got let go from work and with this I said enough of the crap jobs I don't, like doing I wanted to do, something that I like. When I was younger I did have the chance to go to college but due to family reasons I couldn't go, this has always been there, roll on 11/12yrs... so I look around at colleges, read up on how to get in (mature student at this stage!) etc etc do a night course. Got stuck in and worked on my portfoilo in the hope of getting into NCAD for Fine Art Level8, 4yr hon degree. Had to put in quite a bit of work its been a long time since I picked up a pencil or even thought artisticaly (sp?).

    I got my letter in the post last week saying I am on a waiting list for NCAD scored fairly high points wise and while I have not been accepted I still am hopping to get in. I applied to CIT/DIT/IADT as well, got really high scores from CIT + DIT. I was over the moon, to be honest there was a few tears, when I got the letters. Today a letter came from DIT I was 50pts short of the max points they allocate for scoring. The BF comes in at lunch I so thrilled with the results, having had a few phones from other people this morning and it wasnt looking good, yet when I told him how I go on, all I got was a "well done" and moved into the sitting room, leaving me standing in the kitchen like a ****ing tit, saying to myself why did I even open my mouth. I think I would have got more of a happy reaction out of someone on heroin !!!! I was quite gutted. I am no drama queen but come on, he wasn't one bit happy/thrilled/wow'ed ??? I know 100% if he said to me I'd be ****ing thrilled for him.


    I have tired to look at this from a few differant angles, is he resentfull of me going to college ? I honestly can say no, worried about how all this is going to pan out yes as with me ! I just cant get over his lack of reaction. If your other half done well at something wouldnt you be happy for them ?

    Long post thanks for reading this far, sorry if there is any spelling mistakes. Any feedback on this I'd glady welcome !


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    #2
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    try talking to him

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #3
    IrishTonyO
    Registered Users Posts: 2,321 ✭✭✭IrishTonyO


    You have talk to him, how will anyone here know what the problem is?


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    #4
    unknownlegend
    Registered Users Posts: 375 ✭✭unknownlegend


    Does he have a college education? If not, maybe he feels threatened by your venture.


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    #5
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    10+ years?


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    #6
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,189 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Did you talk with him about your plans in advance, or did you just go ahead and plan/organise it yourself?
    Will there be financial repercussions for you as a couple if you are studying full time?


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    #7
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    After 10+ years I would think / hope you'd know better than to go asking random people for advise o_Ó. Talk to him about it...


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    #8
    MicraBoy
    Registered Users Posts: 916 ✭✭✭MicraBoy


    My experience of this (a very similar situation), was that my bf felt a certain loss of control of the situation, like life-changing decisions were being made without his input.

    The best thing is to talk about your options with him and ask for his input. It might take a few attempts to get to the root cause, but really the only option is to take it up with him.


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