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Question to parents on time.

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  • 05-04-2010 7:44am
    #1
    Joey the lips
    Registered Users Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭


    I have been trying to think of how to construct this question so it does not seem like a relationship issue so here it goes.

    I have 2 kids. For all intensive purposes they are both under 3 as the oldest has a mental age of 3. Granted this does not change much for a man:) . They both wake up very early. My oldest wakes up from 2, 3 to 4 and my youngest from 6. Yes I live in a kinda mad house. I survive quite well on little sleep. Always have since my college days so 15 years down the road I am well tuned to staying awake. However the gargle is more of a seditative than a stimulent to me. This pleases the wife as she knows I will make a dyer alchoholic.

    So my question finally is on relationship time. Now I dont specifically mean time for sex to be blunt I mean relationship time. How do you make time for each other. How to you show your affections. How do you make up after a row when you dont even have time to talk.

    Confusing? Yes I will try better. Before my two kids came along. I usually ran a bath for the o/h as she came in the door. She would have a long soak and I would usually be either tidying or watching the tele. I would be effectively giving her a relaxing space and showing her I love her. In otherwords, i would not be pressuring her to have a bath and a ride for the traditional folk. I/we did a lot of stuff like this. Another fondness I had is after sex I loved a half an hour of kissing and petting. What I mean is its not a prelude to sex. It was an affectionate thing. I usually done this in the morning before we went to work to avoid the urge to jump on each other. That way I found I was loved up for the day.

    I think you catch my drift..

    However... The kids are here and more are planned;) but yet that affectionate time and time in general seems to be flying by. Our idea of affection now is a quick squeeze of the bum on the way out the door. Sex tends to be an intense quicky which dont get me wrong is very enjoyable however I crave for those lasting moments.. For example those minutes spent kissing in the morning but alas they are gone. Gone for good and two gorgeous bruts to show for them

    So what I am wondering is what do all ye parents now that you know my intimate details do to keep the lights on so to speak or just to continue the affection. Like is this it.... When I am 90 I will die knowing I loved my other half but blowing the cobwebs off the machinery so to speak... As for romance... Does this come in a bottle now at 12% proof.


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    #2
    silja
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭silja


    We have three under three (twins aged 26 months and a 6 week old), and yes, having couple time is difficult, especially as I breastfeed the newborn and so there is no "date night" time. When we only had the twins, after I stoppwed breastfeeding, we paid for a sitter once a month so we could have an evening out. Also family took the kids for an overnight every two months or so.

    Now, what we do is to make sure we have some snuggle time in the evening after the twins goto bed, with the newborn in a bouncer or in bed with us. WSe also make sure that each evening, we ask eachother how the day went and if there is anything the other person wants to talk about; we found that with it being so busy here, often little annoyances were not talked about and then built up, so found it vital to get them "out of the way" but not in front of children.


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    #3
    cbyrd
    Registered Users Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    It's so easy for the cuddles to take a back seat when the kids come along, but early on we made sure that 8pm was bedtime for them and any housework not done by 8.30 could go on tomorrows list. then it's hit the couch and chat and laugh.
    this is exclusively our time even if it's only a half hour we know that the kids are not always going to be small and dependant, and if we can keep the lines of communication open about whats in our heads then we know soon we'll get more time as the kids get older.
    I've an 11 and 7 year old and a 3 month old so there is still come cuddling going on!!:D
    It sounds pretty tough getting up that often but i suppose if you keep it in you head that 'this too shall pass' it does get easier!
    And speaking from a womans point of view it can sometimes mean the world to know that while there's not a lot of time to do the things you used to, the fact that you want to means the world.
    It'd be different if you had the time but didn't make the effort.;)


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