Why are you single?

tempura

cafecolour wrote: »

I should've had a "I'm too picky." option on the poll - it def seems to be a common enough problem among a lot of the folks I know, especially lads of who spend a lot of time on the computer, playing video games, etc. I know it's pretty dime store sociology, but I do wonder if too much media consumption does lead to unrealistic expectations for real life.

You've hit the nail on the head there !

RacoonQueen

I'm too lazy for a relationship. Been on a few dates here and there lately but I'm really not that pushed. Guys I've met/been out with are way to bloody needy, last one scared the crap out of me. Texted me an hour after I met him, seriously, what the fuff was with that?

Agricola

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I'm too lazy for a relationship. Been on a few dates here and there lately but I'm really not that pushed. Guys I've met/been out with are way to bloody needy, last one scared the crap out of me. Texted me an hour after I met him, seriously, what the fuff was with that?

You need to meet more lads like me. I probably wouldnt text ya for a good fortnight! Provided i didnt delete your number on purpose by accident!

The Mad Hatter

bazmaiden wrote: »

that is some sweeping statement Dr

Especially from someone who can't spell "loser."

tempura

Now this thread has got me thinking !

What is it that makes meeting people so complicated today, i mean, you never meet people in bars/clubs, its a rare thing to meet someone in work. A lot of people do the online thing , myself included, but that can be a bit hit or miss by times. So, how do people get together ?

Back in the day ( yes, showing my age ) you kind of met people through friends and you kinda met people in bars, but now, i don't know, everyone seems a bit too suspicious of each other, all standing around, afraid to approach the opposite sex. Are our expectations of each other too high.

Anyone have any ideas, im just sitting here shrugging to myself lately !

RacoonQueen

Agricola wrote: »

You need to meet more lads like me. I probably wouldnt text ya for a good fortnight! Provided i didnt delete your number on purpose by accident!

See that's more like it. For the record, he was English, English guys are waaaay more forward than Irish guys.

G-Money

tempura wrote: »

Now this thread has got me thinking !

What is it that makes meeting people so complicated today, i mean, you never meet people in bars/clubs, its a rare thing to meet someone in work. A lot of people do the online thing , myself included, but that can be a bit hit or miss by times. So, how do people get together ?

Back in the day ( yes, showing my age ) you kind of met people through friends and you kinda met people in bars, but now, i don't know, everyone seems a bit too suspicious of each other, all standing around, afraid to approach the opposite sex. Are our expectations of each other too high.

Anyone have any ideas, im just sitting here shrugging to myself lately !

Do Irish people even set their single friends up with other single friends? Or does our begrudging nature get in the way to the point where we don't want to see others happy, especially if we are single ourselves?

Agricola

RacoonQueen wrote: »

See that's more like it. For the record, he was English, English guys are waaaay more forward than Irish guys.

They are in the ha'penny place compared to English women!

GLaDOS

grandmaster wrote: »

Do Irish people even set their single friends up with other single friends? Or does our begrudging nature get in the way to the point where we don't want to see others happy, especially if we are single ourselves?

They do, but a lot of people don't want to get set up, I know I wouldn't

1071823928

im too afraid to get in a relationship incase i end up heartbroken again as i really could not hack it. though i havent met anyone i really like and i suppose i dont mind being single now that im used to it. i like having my own space and sorting my head out.

Dr_Phil

Agricola wrote: »

Youve changed Dr Phil. You used to be encouraging and helpful!

Well, how can I help in this matter? If you are single by choice, then there is no need for help, if not - read and instead taking offence try to think about it.

On another note, as I clearly stated - these are my own conclusions and they not necesarily have to be right. However there must be something wrong with the individual in question, so that they are unable to find a partner I suppose. It can be either mental or personal issue and in both cases the best therapy is to look in the mirror and honestly ask yourself what the hell is wrong with me or what am I doing wrong? Or, eventually, maybe I shouldn't be doing anything at all? Or maybe I should start being a person I would like to meet if I was the other person? Singles I know make 1 major mistake - they are desperately trying to hook up with someone and they always fail. They don't seem to be genuine, things they say do are like they were taken from "How to meet you other half", etc.

Can you dig it?

The Shark

Somewhere on this rock in the ocean is a girl with a voodo doll of me sticking pins in it,
It hurts

Zero confidence talking to random wemon,

Fago!

I just haven't ever had the balls to really ask anyone out that I like. The women in my life are either taken or ugly.

I need to get out more.

ToniTuddle

Which is why folks should take a chance and pop along to these boards beers. Any of them!

-Meet more people forcing you to communicate more and get better at it
-Make more friends and as a result plenty new drinking buddies, which is very important in life
-These new friends may have other hot friends you like


See

donmeister

Fago! wrote: »

I just haven't ever had the balls to really ask anyone out that I like. The women in my life are either taken or ugly.

I need to get out more.

Exact same way meself!

G-Money

The last girl that I really fancied (who was single btw) completely blanked me when I even nudged in the direction of just saying hello to her. Ah well, her loss. And for once, that's true

Fago!

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Which is why folks should take a chance and pop along to these boards beers. Any of them!

-Meet more people forcing you to communicate more and get better at it
-Make more friends and as a result plenty new drinking buddies, which is very important in life
-These new friends may have other hot friends you like


See

Wanna get married?

donmeister wrote: »

Exact same way meself!

Right on brothah!!!!

mojesius

It's been ages since I've met someone who gave me butterflies and the rest are just substitutes. Waste of time. I really like someone but he lives in America On second thoughts, maybe that's why I like him.

The last few blokes I've gone out with, having initially really liked, have annoyed me to boredom. I hate this culture of texting: 'how ru? hope ur well. I'm grand' followed by a 3 hour conversation over texts. Repeat two days later, meet at the weekend, texting starts all over again. I don't have enough time in the day for that. Act your age, pick up the telephone.

G-Money

It doesn't help either that I'm in love with the girl who plays Erin the receptionist in the US version of the Office.

tempura

grandmaster wrote: »

Do Irish people even set their single friends up with other single friends? Or does our begrudging nature get in the way to the point where we don't want to see others happy, especially if we are single ourselves?

You have a point there.

G-Money

tempura wrote: »

You have a point there.

This is AH, since when was a "point" needed? :pac:

Dudess

I'd wager most of "our" begrudgery is in the imagination... I don't know anyone who'd be so petty as to forego matchmaking single friends due to not wanting to see others happy. If anything, people seem to love matchmaking. And just because they're both single doesn't mean they're compatible.

bonerm

grandmaster wrote: »

It doesn't help either that I'm in love with the girl who plays Erin the receptionist in the US version of the Office.

You might change your mind after this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs

tempura

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Which is why folks should take a chance and pop along to these boards beers. Any of them!

-Meet more people forcing you to communicate more and get better at it
-Make more friends and as a result plenty new drinking buddies, which is very important in life
-These new friends may have other hot friends you like


See

Right, thats it so, im going to the next one. Whos with me ?

mojesius

tempura wrote: »

Right, thats it so, im going to the next one. Whos with me ?

When is it? I'll go if I can.:)

ToniTuddle

Fago! wrote: »

Wanna get married?

I have a funny feeling we were suppose to get married a few months back and you simply disappeared from my life.

If I see you at the beers I promise to slap you for all the hurt caused as a result of being jilted.

Another reason for being single and I know some of you may say "oh that's BS"....BUT.... I simply can't afford to be seeing anyone these days.

Started seeing an old flame about 2 months ago and the amount of money you end up spending eating out, cinema, drinking. I was broke!

Snowie

Fago! wrote: »

I just haven't ever had the balls to really ask anyone out that I like. The women in my life are either taken or ugly.

I need to get out more.

no you do have the balls to all men do you just choose not to.

G-Money

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

no you do have the balls to all men do you just choose not to.

I know the feeling. I can think of two occasions where the girls seemed into me. All I had to do was pull the trigger but I couldn't do it.

I think I left my balls at home those two nights. I always forget something.

Fago!

ToniTuddle wrote: »

I have a funny feeling we were suppose to get married a few months back and you simply disappeared from my life.

If I see you at the beers I promise to slap you for all the hurt caused as a result of being jilted.

You dumped me!

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

no you do have the balls to all men do you just choose not to.

No I'm just too afraid!

dsmythy

grandmaster wrote: »

Do Irish people even set their single friends up with other single friends? Or does our begrudging nature get in the way to the point where we don't want to see others happy, especially if we are single ourselves?

Begrudgery being something that only exists in Ireland and infects all the population is simply nonsense. So most would try set you up if they felt you wanted it.

Dudess

dsmythy wrote: »

Begrudgery being something that only exists in Ireland and infects all the population is simply nonsense.

Amen!

RacoonQueen

A similar topic pops up about once a week in some forum on this site. Irish men and their inability/lack of confidence when it comes to asking women out. I've never been properly asked out by an Irish guy, english guys all the time, they've no problem asking you out but Irish men, they beat around the bush and ask subtle questions without ever actually ASKING YOU OUT. Useless, all of you!:rolleyes:

Snowie

grandmaster wrote: »

I know the feeling. I can think of two occasions where the girls seemed into me. All I had to do was pull the trigger but I couldn't do it.

I think I left my balls at home those two nights. I always forget something.

would imagine most men have live and learn I guess if shes into you why hold back, whats there to gain other then beeting your self up over it as i have im sure many men have...

G-Money

RacoonQueen wrote: »

A similar topic pops up about once a week in some forum on this site. Irish men and their inability/lack of confidence when it comes to asking women out. I've never been properly asked out by an Irish guy, english guys all the time, they've no problem asking you out but Irish men, they beat around the bush and ask subtle questions without ever actually ASKING YOU OUT. Useless, all of you!:rolleyes:

Why don't you do the asking then? There's no law against it you know

ToniTuddle

tempura wrote: »

Right, thats it so, im going to the next one. Whos with me ?

mojesius wrote: »

When is it? I'll go if I can.:)

Ya can't miss the thread go have a nosey about!

grandmaster wrote: »

Why don't you do the asking then? There's no law against it you know

I'd say the same fear that holds back the men.....Rejection.

RacoonQueen

grandmaster wrote: »

Why don't you do the asking then? There's no law against it you know

I have done in the past. However, it's the mans job and if he clearly likes you and you've sent a million strong signals back and he STILL doesn't have the balls to ask you out... :rolleyes:

Plus, I'm really not that pushed at the moment, I'm too lazy for the stress of a relationship.

G-Money

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I have done in the past. However, it's the mans job and if he clearly likes you and you've sent a million strong signals back and he STILL doesn't have the balls to ask you out... :rolleyes:

Plus, I'm really not that pushed at the moment, I'm too lazy for the stress of a relationship.

Are you sure they're strong to him? I know there's a popular trend in society to make fun of guys saying we are thick when it comes to reading signals from women. But sometimes, it really is impossible to know if a woman is interested or not. And that's not through any fault of the guy. Sometimes the woman can literally give off no hints at all.

Snowie

Fago! wrote: »

No I'm just too afraid!

thats not healthy. Theres nothing wrong with it as in I wouldnt judge you as a person tho I would say that theres nothing beter then facing your fear head on, tbh...

Fago!

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

thats not healthy. Theres nothing wrong with it as in I wouldnt judge you as a person tho I would say that theres nothing beter then facing your fear head on, tbh...

I'm rapidly getting out of that as I asked a girl out for this Thursday...

Fear be gone

G-Money

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

thats not healthy. Theres nothing wrong with it as in I wouldnt judge you as a person tho I would say that theres nothing beter then facing your fear head on, tbh...

For me it's not so much the rejection that I'm worried about, I kind of fully expect to get rejected if it's someone I really fancy. It's the manner in how they do it which is the worrying thing. I think most girls are polite enough but some can be very rude, or worse, when a guy even just says hello.

I think it's fair to say that if a girl made a move on a guy, 99.9% of the time even if he's not interested, he won't be a nasty about it. I think that percentage drops dramatically when the roles are reversed to be honest.

tink2

grandmaster wrote: »

Are you sure they're strong to him? I know there's a popular trend in society to make fun of guys saying we are thick when it comes to reading signals from women. But sometimes, it really is impossible to know if a woman is interested or not. And that's not through any fault of the guy. Sometimes the woman can literally give off no hints at all.

I think there's not a strong 'dating' culture in Ireland, the last time I was in America I was in a queue in a pharmacy and was asked out that's NEVER happened here and it wouldn't. At the very most it would be in the pub. You should take your chances where you get them! I think most girls think that if a guy liked them he would ask and if he doesn't he doesn't fancy them. I don't know why we're like this cos the worst that will happen is that they will so know and the best they say yes!

BraziliaNZ

tink2 wrote: »

I think there's not a strong 'dating' culture in Ireland, the last time I was in America I was in a queue in a pharmacy and was asked out that's NEVER happened here and it wouldn't. At the very most it would be in the pub. You should take your chances where you get them! I think most girls think that if a guy liked them he would ask and if he doesn't he doesn't fancy them. I don't know why we're like this cos the worst that will happen is that they will so know and the best they say yes!

if you asked a girl here for their number in a queue or in the gym or somewhere like that, they'd probably call the police. Americans are totally different.

ToniTuddle

Fago! wrote: »

You dumped me!

I did NOT

Fago! wrote: »

I'm rapidly getting out of that as I asked a girl out for this Thursday...

Fear be gone

Well nice to see you have moved on *glares*


:pac:

grandmaster wrote: »

For me it's not so much the rejection that I'm worried about, I kind of fully expect to get rejected if it's someone I really fancy. It's the manner in how they do it which is the worrying thing. I think most girls are polite enough but some can be very rude, or worse, when a guy even just says hello.

I think it's fair to say that if a girl made a move on a guy, 99.9% of the time even if he's not interested, he won't be a nasty about it. I think that percentage drops dramatically when the roles are reversed to be honest.

Well I decided to take the lead once and asked a dude out for drinks....only to be met by utter silence!

In fairness the lad was extremely shy and went bright red and didn't know what to do!

Haven't asked anyone out since then.

Girls can be very cruel to lads I'll agree with that. But there are always circumstances or issues that lead to these bad encounters people have with one another.

Fago!

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

good for you, you can do it. it just require one to not overthink or asume... to much to soon.
tho one can always asuume varrible change :pac:.....

Thanx. I just basically started thinking liike... "If I'm not in I can't win"

RacoonQueen

tink2 wrote: »

I think there's not a strong 'dating' culture in Ireland, the last time I was in America I was in a queue in a pharmacy and was asked out that's NEVER happened here and it wouldn't. At the very most it would be in the pub. You should take your chances where you get them! I think most girls think that if a guy liked them he would ask and if he doesn't he doesn't fancy them. I don't know why we're like this cos the worst that will happen is that they will so know and the best they say yes!

Irish dating culture is basically, get luck and meet and hit it off with someone when you're out and have a few drinks on you or happen to be out at the same time as someone you like/have the same friends as them - you both have drink on you and thus you both summon up the confidence to hook up. In general, people just don't 'date' here.

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

if you asked a girl here for their number in a queue or in the gym or somewhere like that, they'd probably call the police. Americans are totally different.

Yeah, thats the thing isn't it? It's not what we do, in the states they ask people out in the supermarket, in cafes, in the street. Here, we just get locked and hope to get lucky.

Fago!

ToniTuddle wrote: »

I did NOT



Well nice to see you have moved on *glares*


:pac:

Take me back?

bronte

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Irish men and their inability/lack of confidence when it comes to asking women out. I've never been properly asked out by an Irish guy, english guys all the time, they've no problem asking you out but Irish men, they beat around the bush and ask subtle questions without ever actually ASKING YOU OUT.

Yeah, what the hell?
I got the fright of my life when I first moved to London cos they have no fear here! :pac: Irish lads seem to just be unable to do it!

BraziliaNZ

bronte wrote: »

Yeah, what the hell?
I got the fright of my life when I first moved to London cos the have no fear here! :pac: Irish lads seem to just be unable to do it!

we're well able to do it it's just the reaction we assume we would get, i.e. "he's a bleedin' weirdo", or, police sirens.

ToniTuddle

Fago! wrote: »

Take me back?

>.>

*Molests*

<.<

*leaves thread*

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

we're well able to do it it's just the reaction we assume we would get, i.e. "he's a bleedin' weirdo", or, police sirens.

So when I'm in America for the summer I should most definitely not call the cops on some dude if he randomly walks up to me and asks me out...?

Ok, I shall have an open mind and not assume they are all axe wielding murderers.

RacoonQueen

bronte wrote: »

Yeah, what the hell?
I got the fright of my life when I first moved to London cos the have no fear here! :pac: Irish lads seem to just be unable to do it!

Even in pubs and clubs, when they approach you it's so much more natural than here. Irish men tend to stumble up, looking terrified before uttering some crappy ice breaker. Us Irish wimmen must be right bitches if we scare them that much.