Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
Why are you single?
Comments
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Thea Tart Watchdog wrote: »Sure isn't it great being single! You can wait up as long as you like and play computer games or watch porn. You can order pizza whenever you like and can go out drinking on a schoolnight!
Relationships are for suckers with Freudian issues! :P
Why can't you do that if you have a girlfriend?
grandmaster wrote: »I guess the second one is true there as well. I know someone who's married and he says he envies me at times as I can do whatever I want. And I'll be honest, while I would like a gf, I love being able to just do whatever I want. I don't have the expectations of someone wanting me to go out and do this and that or the other thing.
If I want to go out, I'll go out. If I want to stay in, I'll stay in. The thing is I could stay in every weekend for months, or I could go out every weekend for a few weeks straight. It really depends on my mood and how I'm feeling. And I like that I can just decide that myself. I don't have anyone sort of pressuring me into going out or going different places. If I want to do something, I'll do it, if I don't, I won't. It's great to have that choice.
I also have a hard time getting excited about stuff I've no interest in and I think when you are seeing someone, you're sort of roped into going to things as the person you're seeing wants to go to them. I guess that is part and parcel of the whole relationship thing.
As the saying goes, to get something you always have to sacrifice something else. But then I don't really see a relationship as being the end of "freedom" as such. Obviously you'll do things with your OH, but at the same time I believe you aren't joined at the hip and it's ok for you and them to go do your own thing with your own friends.
But why would having a partner limit what you could do, any more than any other friend would? If I was with anyone who "told" me not to go out, they'd get a PFO pretty quickly.Jaysus, I don't know...
Between the many threads in the Ladies Lounge, Personal Issues and Relationship Issues I'm certain of one thing. Uncertainty.
Why are so many women (and men) happy to put up with a significant other who (in this weeks threads), doesn't lift a finger in the household, can't figure where to put his finger between the sheets and would rather use his/her fingers in an online forum with strangers than actually communicate with their partner.
Why am I sitting here ranting on keyboard, single (would mind dating/not really trying), 31 years of age, with own house, car, hair and teeth... great job, healthy eating, road running, funny, confident, creative, artistic, did I mention great cook? With a face not resembling a blind cobblers thumb. When the majority of the lads and lassies on here put up with day after day of lying, cheating, lazy excuses of boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancées, husbands and wives?
The answer I'm afraid escapes me. We're all very different people and I guess due to a mix of our upbringing, past relationships, attitudes and emotions -*want different things from life - and there's a plethora of reasons why we choose to put up with the pages and pages of topics covered daily in TLL, PI OR RI. And unfortunately no 'single' quick fix or formula that will bring that special someone into our lives.
What I will say is this... Once you find yourself single in your late twenties, having been in a few short termers and one long term relationship for most of your 20's, a few things become apparent.
1. The school days, college years and part time jobs are in the past - as are the countless opportunities to meet someone new.
2. Chances are you're settled in a full time job that survived the recession and work is full of, unfortunately, unavailable men/women.
3. If the threads on boards are anything to go by... 'some' women don't like to be chatted up in public, or do the asking themselves, and are guarded in a pub/club scene as they're sick of pissed up lads with a pint o'confidence approaching them to get the leg over.
So where do I bring my fishing pole now (no pun intended)? Online dating? Sorry, I just can't be arsed sifting through the rough to find a diamond. Join a club/society? Perhaps...
But the pond is definitely looking more like a puddle. If you're still single at 30+, you've got less fish and even lesser bait and the ones you do infrequently see jumping have been thrown back before and aren't keen to bite again. Strange that, fishing analogy, Hooked username, and never been fishing? Oops.. off on a tangent...
Leaving me, like so many other 'decent guys' - and gals! - with the I enjoy being single, wouldn't mind dating someone, but not really trying very hard attitude...
This is so true, I've noticed it from reading TLL, RI, AH and PI threads over the years, it gets very hard once you hit around 30 and your social circles start to narrow.0 -
Hmm.. I've been in 2 long term relationships that didn't work out so that's why I find myself in my late twenties and single. Of course - they regretted EVER letting me go!
Hooked your post didn't give me much hope lol but you made good points. I'd think I'd have to agree with kumate_champ07 and say - there is no guy out there good enough for me!
Seriously tho, It's like finding a needle in a haystack out there. Where is heee???????? 0 -
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
-
I'm often struck by the cynicism and negativity on Boards in general when it comes to meeting people - it just does not reflect the world as I know it.
I'm always up for meeting new people-love it!
Though alot of my various different friends are quite happy to stick to their little circles and not let new folks in as easy.
Plus alot of folks here seem to have been hurt in the past and find it hard to get over the experiences.
Better to try and get over it and stay single until you do...rather than bring that baggage into a new relationship.
0 -
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59098
Basically because you have to account for each other in your plans. I'd figure if you don't then whats the point of a relationship. Of course, yea there's a balance, but that part of it is there. Now in the early days of being in mad pash love that's fine even welcome, its down the line where it can get restrictive. Especially if a few years down the line, you see the diffs in each other that rankle.Why can't you do that if you have a girlfriend?
But why would having a partner limit what you could do, any more than any other friend would? If I was with anyone who "told" me not to go out, they'd get a PFO pretty quickly.
Look at PI etc and you'll notice the pretty obvious pattern of breakups around the three year mark. The honeymoons over and people figure, nah not worth continuing. Others continue as they may figure there's no alternative(more chance of splitting at 25 than at 35) and the lucky few IME are actually compatible. Its a helluva emotional and time investment and leap of faith. An investment I would be very wary of making again.
It depends. I know people who had a much better social life after 30 than before. More men than women though. In general I would be far more concerned to be a single woman at 35 than a man. TBH if I had a daughter I'd advise her to get somewhat settled into something long term before 30, not after. While I do know plenty of women who got loved up at 30, 40 or 50, their choices are less and it's much harder. With a son I wouldnt be nearly as concerned unless he was a more passive shy guy.This is so true, I've noticed it from reading TLL, RI, AH and PI threads over the years, it gets very hard once you hit around 30 and your social circles start to narrow.Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
0 -
-
-
Hmm.. I've been in 2 long term relationships that didn't work out so that's why I find myself in my late twenties and single. Of course - they regretted EVER letting me go!
Hooked your post didn't give me much hope lol but you made good points. I'd think I'd have to agree with kumate_champ07 and say - there is no guy out there good enough for me! Seriously tho, It's like finding a needle in a haystack out there. Where is heee????????
Im right here!!!0 -
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
Why can't you do that if you have a girlfriend?
But why would having a partner limit what you could do, any more than any other friend would? If I was with anyone who "told" me not to go out, they'd get a PFO pretty quickly.
It's not so much that you can't do stuff, but as Wibbs also pointed out, you kind of have to account for where you are going and what you are doing. Also, if you don't want to go out with your friends you can easily skip on nights out and it doesn't necessarily affect things to a great degree. Can you imagine having a partner and not wanting to go out anywhere for a period of time? Because they're your OH, there's an obvious requirement to spend time with them, but you're also obliged to spend this time on events and nights/days out etc. While there's nothing wrong with that, there's no way you have the same amount of freedom to do what you want.
You always have to take your OH into consideration and even if you don't want to go out or go do something, you're silently obliged to do so most of the time.
Like I say I could go a few weeks or longer without going out at weekends and it doesn't bother me that much. But I don't think I'd get away with that if I had a gf as most likely she'd be wanting to go places and do stuff more than me. I'm not really one of these people who feels they have to be out socialising every weekend.
I like being able to do what I want. I can go out for a few weeks straight, get drunk, dance away, lie on the couch all the next day hungover and I've no-one to answer to and no-one expecting me to go do stuff when I'm hungover etc.
I'm not saying I don't want a gf or don't have space for one in my life, I would like a gf and I would make space. But I think it's not realistic to assume that a person has the same amount of freedom to do what they want when they have an OH.
And sure even jokingly, how many guys do you know who are married or whatever who when they want to go out say to their friends they need to get a "pass" from their mrs? They might be joking but there's more truth in it that you might imagine.0 -
-
-
Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59098
Naw you're one o the ones that'll be grand.Jesus Wibbs, way to kick a gal when she's down
Fuuuuuuk :eek::eek: Some people eh? Loooooooney tunes there mate. Can you imagine being stuck with that? You didnt just dodge a bullet, you dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile.Why am I single? ...because my ex told me she was dying from lieukimia and did not want me to have to see me suffer, so she f*cked off back to Italy, made an instant recovery and then got engaged :rolleyes:
...well....you did ask!Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
0 -
-
Ah its not just yours tbf
Not that that helps but thanks if "sad" posts make you happy do "happy" posts make you sad? lolFuuuuuuk :eek::eek: Some people eh? Loooooooney tunes there mate. Can you imagine being stuck with that? You didnt just dodge a bullet, you dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Indeed and thanks! If I was an ass I could f*ck her over big time but I'm not like that so I'll just wallow (sp?) in the fact that I could:D:D
....only problem now is I don't trust women enough to be in a relationship with them (other than as friends of which 99% of mine are female)...0 -
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
's Norris pic Advertisement