how long did it take you to get over ex

Bonito

I know how you feel. If she's going to hang up on you then leave her to it. Be the better person about it. Don't make any sly digs at her to people you both know but at the same time don't wish her any sort of happiness or ask her friends how she's doing.

She'll soon get the message that what she's done was despicable and hurtful. You'd know her better than anyone to know what to say or do and what not to say or do so just have a think and I hope you get somewhere with it soon and can close it over.

bazmaiden

Bonito wrote: »

I know how you feel. If she's going to hang up on you then leave her to it. Be the better person about it. Don't make any sly digs at her to people you both know but at the same time don't wish her any sort of happiness or ask her friends how she's doing.

Well it's not too bad there, we live nearly 2 hours away from each other now (we met in college in london in 2005, and we both moved back to Ireland in 2008, i'm from Laois and she's from Drogheda)

She'll soon get the message that what she's done was despicable and hurtful. You'd know her better than anyone to know what to say or do and what not to say or do so just have a think and I hope you get somewhere with it soon and can close it over.

Thats actually the exact line her mum used when refering to what she did,
thanks Bonito some good advice there cheers

Bonito

More than welcome.

tempura

Abitar wrote: »

That is called 'settling'. You know how you feel but the person you're engaged to doesn't, not really fair. As much as it might hurt them at the moment, I think you should get out. Knowingly going into a marraige with someone you see will only ever be your second best? Just no.


You need to press the reset button, spend some time on your own before you can move on with someone new. Not being over someone and going into a marraige is going to be an expensive and messy disaster for you to get out of.

Abitars advice here is spot on. I did what you're about to do. 16 years later im now seperated and emotionally its been the worst thing i have ever gone through. I know it won't be an easy thing to do, but seriously, don't settle if your not over your ex, its just not worth it.

Panthro

i was doing alright the past few days, woke up last night at 5am nearly hunched over with a pain in my heart (emotions id imagine, not heartburn!) and spent about 20mins thinking of her. then went back to sleep.
didnt really think of her until i just logged into facebook, posted a joke on a really good mate of mines page..and she clicked on the FUPPIN "LIKE" BUTTON!
(oh trivial in the grand scheme of things i know, there should be an unwritten rule that you cant be doing that!) i know what the general response will be.."delete her as a friend you tool"..and you would be right, however i just cant bring myself to doing such a menial little thing!
where are my man balls, i dunno!:D

Faith

Abitar wrote: »

Am I reading this right.. ? you broke up with someone three weeks ago, and people are on your case about it? :eek:


If so I don't know how you have lost all reason with whoever said that, very insensitive tbh

It was my mum. Lovely and all as she is, she just doesn't get it. She can give some great advice, but she's been married for 36 years, so any experience she may have had (nothing similar to mine) is negated by time. I told her firmly that it was only three weeks, and to back off, and she just replied with "By my age, you've seen it all and you know the best way to go about these things. You just need to meet someone else".

To whoever else mentioned it, I also get the "Any news? / Meet anyone interesting last night?" from her. It's her thinly veiled attempt at asking did I met a man. I honestly want to throttle her when she does it, but any attempt at giving out to her results in a very hostile reaction, so it's just not worth it! I wish it was a friend doing it; it would be much easier to tell them to fúck off!

I also had a moment earlier where I thought with perfect clarity "I'll just ring him and tell him enough is enough, we're getting back together and sorting out our problems together". In the time it took to have the thought, it seemed like such a perfect idea. I hit the earth hard in the 5 seconds after that, when I realised I can't just do that .

Faith

papagormo wrote: »

i was doing alright the past few days, woke up last night at 5am nearly hunched over with a pain in my heart (emotions id imagine, not heartburn!) and spent about 20mins thinking of her. then went back to sleep.
didnt really think of her until i just logged into facebook, posted a joke on a really good mate of mines page..and she clicked on the FUPPIN "LIKE" BUTTON!
(oh trivial in the grand scheme of things i know, there should be an unwritten rule that you cant be doing that!) i know what the general response will be.."delete her as a friend you tool"..and you would be right, however i just cant bring myself to doing such a menial little thing!
where are my man balls, i dunno!:D

I change my status regularly to things I know will make my ex laugh, or make him miss me . Break ups were surely easier before social networking!

Panthro

Faith wrote: »

I change my status regularly to things I know will make my ex laugh, or make him miss me . Break ups were surely easier before social networking!

i have been reconnecting and writing on the walls of a lot of single wimmins she never met..no intention of trying anything whatsoever with any of them...but SHE doesnt need to know that!
sad times..

Penny Dreadful

Faith wrote: »

It was my mum. Lovely and all as she is, she just doesn't get it. She can give some great advice, but she's been married for 36 years, so any experience she may have had (nothing similar to mine) is negated by time. I told her firmly that it was only three weeks, and to back off, and she just replied with "By my age, you've seen it all and you know the best way to go about these things. You just need to meet someone else".

To whoever else mentioned it, I also get the "Any news? / Meet anyone interesting last night?" from her. It's her thinly veiled attempt at asking did I met a man. I honestly want to throttle her when she does it, but any attempt at giving out to her results in a very hostile reaction, so it's just not worth it! I wish it was a friend doing it; it would be much easier to tell them to fúck off!

I also had a moment earlier where I thought with perfect clarity "I'll just ring him and tell him enough is enough, we're getting back together and sorting out our problems together". In the time it took to have the thought, it seemed like such a perfect idea. I hit the earth hard in the 5 seconds after that, when I realised I can't just do that .

It can be really hard to deal with that kind of stuff. Maybe next time you should say "yes Mum I did. He was super hot but kind of boring so I just went back to his house, rodgered him sensless over and over again, slept for an hour or so and then left". See how she likes that, after all you will have met someone else!;)

Penny Dreadful

papagormo wrote: »

i was doing alright the past few days, woke up last night at 5am nearly hunched over with a pain in my heart (emotions id imagine, not heartburn!) and spent about 20mins thinking of her. then went back to sleep.
didnt really think of her until i just logged into facebook, posted a joke on a really good mate of mines page..and she clicked on the FUPPIN "LIKE" BUTTON!
(oh trivial in the grand scheme of things i know, there should be an unwritten rule that you cant be doing that!) i know what the general response will be.."delete her as a friend you tool"..and you would be right, however i just cant bring myself to doing such a menial little thing!
where are my man balls, i dunno!:D

I deleted my ex after we broke up. I sent him a text message saying that I did it because it would be too weird to still be "friends" in that context and it might be better for him too as he wouldn't be worrying about what his friends may say on his wall. He understood.

barry181091

Sorry for drudging up an old thread, but seemed silly to make a new one as this one seems fine.

My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me yesterday, basically the spark was gone, the relationship felt more of friends with benefits kind of thing. I think we both new it was coming, I was thinking about it but staying in a relationship is always easier than the 'having to make a new life' when you are single. Problem was it was our first relationship (21 each) so this is all new

Some of the posts here have me worried as to the amount of time it will take to be 100% again, I cant do multiples of years! :P I actually dont feel the worst now, havent cried much at all but I suppose the logical comment is, it hasn't kicked in yet

Wibbs

sorry barry181091 you know the score with zombie threads, so closed. Hope things work out for you though.