Would welcome some input on this - school related.

littlebitdull

My youngest daughter is in 4th class. She is almost 11, most of the class being between 9 and 11 year olds.

Kids at this age are rampant with hormones - without them really knowing about it!! But we parents sure know at times.

Today I recieved a letter from the school saying that there has been problems in the class with the use of "inappropriate sexual language" by some of the children in the class. Their words not mine.

So I quietly sat DD down - just her and me - reassured her she was not in trouble and try to find out more about it. She says all she has heard is that some of them are using the 'F' word at times. She says she just takes herself out of the situation when it happens.

She being the youngest - and having two teenaged siblings - I would have to admit that the 'f' word would not be a strange thing for her to hear

Anyway - to get to the point - the school have preposed two things to happen. An evening meeting for the parents of the class - run by an outside 'professional agency' - date to be arranged yet.

And the second - and this is where I have a problem and want an input/feedback on .... a workshop for the children - again run by a 'professional agency' to work through any issues/help them identify boundaries. The date has been set for this on friday 16th....

I guess my problem is that the workshop is arranged before any feedback from parents is listened to. The first I knew of any problem with the class was this letter - so I would have prefered more information about it and about the workshop before my child has to attend.

Am I over-reacting? I was going to head into the school next week (still closed for holidays at the moment) to get more information. But am I just being foolish - should I just step back and leave it?

smelltheglove

I remember kids starting to talk about things when I was in 6th class, I was 12. I was asked did I know what this or that was and made to feel silly if I didnt. On another occasion the boy beside me was overcome to tickle me, one of the girls ran out of the room screaming rape, we got in trouble for that even though I didnt do anything.

I think the workshop should be welcomed, kids are highly sexualised these days and open discussion about use of these words would help them understand more and take away any chance of feeling left out by not knowing what the other kids are talking about.

silverharp

it seems a bit odd/ott to me. All above board I'm sure but In such a situation I'd like to know more about this outside organisation? whats the name of the company etc? What techniques will they be using? and what are their objectives?

Nevyn

I assume you can't opt your child out of the workshops.
what are they and what will they be covering?
Sounds like the meeting is for parents to see what they will be doing.
Thing is even if you opt your child out what the other kids learn will spread to them either way. It seems to be the new thing for sex for schools, teachers just dont' want to do it.

smelltheglove

Thaedydal wrote: »

I assume you can't opt your child out of the workshops.
what are they and what will they be covering?
Sounds like the meeting is for parents to see what they will be doing.
Thing is even if you opt your child out what the other kids learn will spread to them either way. It seems to be the new thing for sex for schools, teachers just dont' want to do it.

I dont think its really all that new, when I was in primary 17 years ago (wow thats a long time) an outside crowd came in to us too.

jackira

maybe the workshop is only optional, i would think they would need to get the parents permission for people to come in and talk to the children. So if you dont want your daughter to go to it she wont have to.

I think the workshop will be a good idea, sometimes parents can feel the kids are to young to know or they themselves are too embarrassed to talk to the kids about things. They must be hearing this that and the other in school, i dont think there is a way to shield them from it.

My 10 year old is still and always be my little baby, but he has to grow up sometimes and he always has questions about things, even more so the last few months. I personally have no problems talking about anything with him, if he asks i will explain to him the best i can. He knows about the birds and the bees, what changes are going to happen in a few years ect and he probably knows more swear words that what i do.

There are some things i will hold back on. I remember a few years ago he used to get the bus to school and i would collect him. Driving home one day he just comes out with " mummy...what's a w**k*r", well i nearly crashed the car with shock, asked him where he had heard that word and he had over heard some older children on the bus saying it. The best i could describe it to him was that it's a bad word that people sometimes say when the other person has done something a bit silly and they are angry with that person. Well thats about as true as you can get i thought. I told him he was never allowed to say it and as of today ( now that i've said that he'll probably come out with it tomorrow haha ) he never has used that word that i know of. Maybe if i hadn't explained to him he would of used it again maybe trying to find out what it did mean. I had some fun explaining to him what gay meant as well, I'll thank the simpsons film for that.

At the end of the day she is your daughter, and although some people have different ideas about how and when children should learn these things, you are her mum and you will always do what you think is the best for her. If you feel she is too young and you want to wait till she is a bit older then that is what you should do.

littlebitdull

Thanks for all the replies guys. Just to clarify something ....

The workshop is not for sexuality/relationship education !! Its a direct reaction to some parents of the class expressing concern about some children in the class using inappropriate sexual language.

This letter was the first I heard about any problem - and my daughter seems pretty much in the dark about it too!

Most schools would also hold some form of information evening/event for the parents of children undergoing special workshops.Certainly for my older two when they did start the relationship/sexuality education in 5th and 6th class - the school provided us with a lot of information (different school). But then again this is a seperate issue.

I do think I need to ask for more information from the school about this.

cbyrd

littlebitdull wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies guys. Just to clarify something ....

The workshop is not for sexuality/relationship education !! Its a direct reaction to some parents of the class expressing concern about some children in the class using inappropriate sexual language.

This letter was the first I heard about any problem - and my daughter seems pretty much in the dark about it too!

Most schools would also hold some form of information evening/event for the parents of children undergoing special workshops.Certainly for my older two when they did start the relationship/sexuality education in 5th and 6th class - the school provided us with a lot of information (different school). But then again this is a seperate issue.

I do think I need to ask for more information from the school about this.

i think that's way over the top, can the teacher not control the class? or not teach them about inapproipriate language..
sounds more like the teacher/school can't be bothered taking up that aspect of teaching. who will end up paying for the outside agency to come in?? :eek:
I think it's quite unusual for them to arrange this before telling the parents, but i suppose if it improves behaviour it can't be a bad thing.
Don't you often think sometimes that some kids are just babied too much and some are let away with too much. It's striking the balance thats the hard part!;)

deisemum

cbyrd wrote: »

i think that's way over the top, can the teacher not control the class? or not teach them about inapproipriate language..
sounds more like the teacher/school can't be bothered taking up that aspect of teaching. who will end up paying for the outside agency to come in?? :eek:
I think it's quite unusual for them to arrange this before telling the parents, but i suppose if it improves behaviour it can't be a bad thing.
Don't you often think sometimes that some kids are just babied too much and some are let away with too much. It's striking the balance thats the hard part!;)

+1, at the very least the school should have had the open evening with the parents before they made arrangements for the outside agency to come in and run the workshop for the pupils.

From what you've posted it sounds a very ott reaction from the school.

jane17

Strange your daughter knew nothing at all about it and obviously it is being seen as a big deal.I certainly wouldn't let her go unless I knew what was involved. Would have thought it would be more appropriate to have meeting with parents first!
I would certainly talk to teacher /principle but think they should have talked to you first.

moonpurple

i would view the workshop as welcome, at least they are trying to make progress, sometimes you have to put your faith in the teachers,

a workshop can be a fairly basic reminder of good behaviour .. coming from a new face..more impact:cool:

thesimpsons

I'd tend to agree with the above thoughts that, while its proactive of the school to have something organised like this workshop, at the moment its OTT. The letter seems to have been send out before any parental feedback or discussion, before taking the chance to see if the letter even had any effect.

Back in dark ages when I was in 5th class ( 1976 :eek:) all kinds of talk, innuendo, sexual references were a playground constant until the nun told us all to just grow up, respect ourselves and bodies and get on with growing up. We did have the "sex" talk even back then the way the majority of primary schools now do it with outside agencies. The talk isn't till the 16th - still time to contact the school and see if they are not just being a bit too forward at the moment. School probably thinks its doing the best thing but maybe they need something pointed out to them that isn't immediately obvious to them. I'd also like to be informed of who the outside agency is, what qualification they have, vetting, etc.

deisemum

The teachers do the sex education in my childrens primary in 5th class and again in 6th class where they show a DVD in animated form.

nesf

deisemum wrote: »

where they show a DVD in animated form.

*raises an eyebrow*

byhookorbycrook

nesf wrote: »

*raises an eyebrow*

It's called Busy Bodies and is excellent,the cartoon element makes the children more at ease and the "built in giggles" help to relax the class.

Nevyn

nesf wrote: »

*raises an eyebrow*

I am sure it's the content of the DVD which is animated and not the teachers :P

byhookorbycrook

Thaedydal wrote: »

I am sure it's the content of the DVD which is animated and not the teachers :P

depends on the teacher:D

nesf

I was just thinking of the sexual awareness video shown in the Simpsons. "Fur where there was no fur before" and so on..

byhookorbycrook

nesf wrote: »

I was just thinking of the sexual awareness video shown in the Simpsons. "Fur where there was no fur before" and so on..

Ms Krabapple "She's faking it"

amz5

Maybe you should ring the Principal to clarify what has been said. Maybe some of the parents complained about language being used, and they thought that everyone was aware of the problem. It doesn't sound like you were given too much information in the letter, and I would like to know what kind of a work-shop was being presented if it was me. If the Principal is not a "walking Principal" maybe it would be best to ring to make an appointment with the class teacher as s/he mightn't have time to talk if you dropped in (I'm not sure if that was what you were saying in your initial post). Using the word f*ck doesn't sound like it would be enough of a reason to run a work-shop, so maybe there is more to the story. I would definitely seek clarification.

On an aside, when I was in 4th or 5th class, one of the girls in my class was an early developer and had her period when she was in school. There were nearly 40 of us in the class, so I didn't know anything about it until one day when the girl broke down about it inclass because other girls had been bullying her for weeks about that and other related (sexualised!) issues. I don't know how the situation was dealt with (it's so long ago ), but I'd imagine that with an increase in everything being PC in schools, that issues like that would be dealt with in a very sympathetic manner, and in a way that would help all of the children in the class to deal with terms that they may not really understand. Hopefully the school in question is dealing with a matter that needs attention in such a manner, as it may be a sensitive subject, and with class sizes being so big, maybe your daughter wasn't aware of something that had been said. Best of luck!