Boyfriend unhappy with me being veg

John Mason

i am a veggie but my boy would eat the whole cow raw if he had the chance.

we always eat the same foods - meat free for me and as much meat as possible for him:)

we have been together over two years and i got him to eat his first veggie meal 2 weeks ago - here the result - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=65123705&postcount=3

your boy sounds like an idiot but you shouldnt be forcing him not to eat meat either. why not make two separate dishes ? we had a lovely risotto tonight. it was all cooked in the same pot until the end, where he added in cod poached in cod

taram

At the risk of being really cross at your boyfriend, whom I don't know one bit besides your original post, OP, he sounds controlling. I was a veggie for years before I met my first proper boyfriend at 19 and he couldn't handle it. If we were invited to dinner he'd make comments like 'oh make sure you do something veggie for her!', as if people I knew years didn't know already, and even if not, I'd have eaten everything but the meat! He also told me how unhealthy I was eating constantly, despite the fact he ate Chinese 5 nights a week (chipper on the weekend). He'd also get cross if he'd offer me some pepperoni pizza and I woudn't take it.

Basically, I could be wrong, I don't think it's a veggie thing but a control thing. It's something "different" from him and he wants to stop it, make you share his appetisers, being the big man in charge. I think ye need to sit down and tell him how he's hurting you, and that's it's only meat you gave up, not something that affects you both like sex!

StevoTG

While I wouldn't feel comfortable calling your boyfriend a dick, considering I don't know the guy, he certainly is acting like a dick.

There could be a number of reasons why he's behaving this way, with being unsettled by change among the most likely reasons. It's possible that he's afraid of you changing, seeing as he's clearly liked/loved who you've been for the past 4 years and you have made a pretty big change. People change and grow, and trying to inhibit that is smothering and harmful. It's possible that he even feels under attack, as though you're judging him by not joining in with his eating habits as you did before... there may be a dent his ego (everyone's got one, to some extent). There's a range of possibilities to explain such ignorant and domineering behaviour.

His behaviour is unnaceptable, but will hopefully be altered by a heart to heart

jill_valentine

I'm a meat-eater, but yeah, with respect to the OP, this dude sounds like a douche. If he's not willing to let something fairly minor like this lie, then it has troubling implications generally. Not to make light of it or anything, but being a veggie is clearly and understandably important to you - it's just what you are.

It would bother me if something so silly was causing such a fuss.

tman

johno2 wrote: »

Your BF is being silly. Vegetarians taste nicer than meat-eaters. I'd be delighted to get a vegetarian girlfriend.

johno

Taste... Nicer?:pac:

Absurdum

walkwithme wrote: »

I feel so tired of having to defend myself. I feel like I am not doing anything wrong.

You aren't doing anything wrong, he is

Tar.Aldarion

I can understand being annoyed by somebody restricting what you both eat in a relationship, when eating together, but it could only ever be a passing minor annoyance. I know I used to be very pick with food and past gfs wouldnt be happy all the time. Mostly it should be fun to try new things with them, he is acting like a child. People get annoyed over silly things, but to the level he does things, sounds like a penis, I hope he saves childrens and kittens lives on the side.

Melia

spottyelephant wrote: »

I dunno, maybe when in Hong Kong you can go into the "cool/nice looking" place, not immediately ask or look for their vegitarian option, and just eat the noodles only from a noodle+meat dish?

spottyelephant wrote: »

Also finding middle ground food, like pad thai or something which you can avoid the shrimp in.

I don't know any vegetarian who'd be happy eating around lumps of meat, or just eating noodles.... But she won't have to, there'll be vegetarian options in most places. I agree that he sounds controlling, but maybe he just needs some time to get used to it.

Stacey.x

if the guy cant accept you for who you are, you cant carry on with him.
it wont work. simple as that

CoalBucket

Eat whatever you like. He doesnt have to eat it. Prob solved. If he has an issue with it, tell him to get a new girlfriend, preferably one who works in the butchers and he can get a discount on a juicy steak

746watts

eat what you want to eat.
BF can eat what he wants.
If he doesn't back off he's just a dictator of sorts and a dick.
Divorce always works, life is too short to have to endure unnecessary hassle.

ztoical

tman wrote: »

Taste... Nicer?:pac:

I would assume they mean in sexual terms as it's proven that certain foods in your diet make certain body fluids taste different. Veggies or people who eat alot of fruit in their diets tend to have sweeter tasting "body fluids" then someone who eats large amounts of meat.

All this talk of "we're meant to eat meat" is rubbish given that most of what is for sale in shops has little to no connection to eating meat as a dietary need. The volume of meat consumed by most people is far higher then what our ancestors would ever had eaten. As hunter/gathers we would have had very little meat in our diet given how much energy that would have gone into getting it, also we would have eaten and used every part of the animal were as today if you put the entrails and internal organs down in front of the average person they'd refuse to eat them. We'd also have eaten most of the meat raw.

This is a case of control issues between the OP and the BF. It's nothing to do with them being a veggie. How many people living together share the same food tastes? I know plenty of friends living with their OH's who don't like the same food at all but you know what it's a relationship so you work something out to suit everyone rather then demanding one person in the relationship change for the other. Are people in relationships meant to share all the same eating habits, likes and dislikes? cus thats news to me if they are.

sponsoredwalk

celticbest wrote: »

I don't blame him, humans are designed to eat meat.

caveman arguments :mad:

I think that appendix you got on you looks mighty useful, what is the purpose of it's design again?

ShoulderChip

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

caveman arguments :mad:

I think that appendix you got on you looks mighty useful, what is the purpose of it's design again?

More people live in caves now than in the stone-age

that is not some sort of metaphor but a fact.

Tar.Aldarion

celticbest wrote: »

I don't blame him, humans are designed to eat meat.

We evolve based on what we ate in the past, we don't eat based on how we evolved.
It matters not what one can and can't eat, We have the ability to reason and decide what to eat.

the_syco

OP: does the BF eat much veg? Me, I haye most veg, and like most meats. It may be that the dude doesn't like eating a lot of veg. The way he's going about does make him a bit of a dick, though.

Question: how much meat did you eat normally? Also, have you lost any weight since going veg?

entropi

the_syco wrote: »

Also, have you lost any weight since going veg?

Just before the OP may answer it I'll add that the average veggie will lose around 2-3kg in weight within a year of making the transition...dunno if that helps your query though:)

the_syco

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Just before the OP may answer it I'll add that the average veggie will lose around 2-3kg in weight within a year of making the transition...dunno if that helps your query though:)

What I meant was that if someone you loved drastically changed what they ate, and this caused a massive loss in the persons weight to what may be seen as unhealthy, you may be inclined to think that the person is not eating enough.

CoalBucket

ShoulderChip wrote: »

More people live in caves now than in the stone-age

that is not some sort of metaphor but a fact.

I find that difficult to believe but I'm open to persuasion, any reference or link to demonstrate that ?

johno2

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

caveman arguments :mad:

I think that appendix you got on you looks mighty useful, what is the purpose of it's design again?

Skipping quickly past the idea that it might have been designed... The appendix stores a selection of the intestinal bacteria that help us digest our food and protects it from the effects of "upset tummies". These illnesses can wipe out the bacteria in our intestines and they are repopulated from the reservoir in the appendix. Why did you want to know that anyway?

johno

johno2

CoalBucket wrote: »

I find that difficult to believe but I'm open to persuasion, any reference or link to demonstrate that ?

sponsoredwalk

johno2 wrote: »

Skipping quickly past the idea that it might have been designed... The appendix stores a selection of the intestinal bacteria that help us digest our food and protects it from the effects of "upset tummies". These illnesses can wipe out the bacteria in our intestines and they are repopulated from the reservoir in the appendix. Why did you want to know that anyway?

johno

Wow! There's my argument pwned :rolleyes:

No I hadn't heard that the appendix had been found to have a benificial function. I see it was only discovered in August last year;

The Appendix Is Useful After All

Share:
by Annina Bergman | August 25, 2009 at 03:57 pm
115 views | 10 Recommendations | 2 comments
The appendix has long been considered a vestigial and useless organ, which only reminds us of its presence when it flares up and creates a life-threatning appendicitis. Darwin speculated that it was left behind by evolution when we evolved from plant-eaters into omnivores.

Researchers at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, discovered that the appendix harbours tons of good bacteria which repopulate the stomach after diarrhea, as well as helps make, train and direct white blood cells. William Parker, immunologist, says many more species have an appendix than previously thought.

http://www.nowpublic.com/health/appendix-useful-after-all
(shortest version I could find online!).

I guess the appendix isn't able to back up refuting the "design" argument the person I quoted was making, I'll just say his argument is flawed but I wont provide any links or reasons, google is at your fingertips and if you can come up with some reputable claim to disprove my blanket assertion I'd be happy to listen

Des Carter

First off if this is the bigest problem you guys have in your relationship consider yourself very lucky.

as for your problem one of the most truest statements ever is: "the quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach"

You have obviously been cooking lovely dinners for him for 2 or 3 years which he obviously really enjoyed and appreciated and then you stopped cooking him his favourite food, meat so he is a bit annoyed etc.

orchidsrpretty

OP, your boyfriend is being pretty harsh but I understand where he is coming from. I am a veggie and my BF is not. Its fine when I am cooking etc but if he is making lunch or whatever and wants something meaty that means he has to go to the trouble of thinking what he will make me. It can be an inconvience for the meat eater. I know that when my BF is starving and wants a rasher sandwich or whatever he has to go to the trouble of making me something veggie too so a quick bite can turn into "searching the cupboards looking for something to cook for me.

ztoical

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

OP, your boyfriend is being pretty harsh but I understand where he is coming from. I am a veggie and my BF is not. Its fine when I am cooking etc but if he is making lunch or whatever and wants something meaty that means he has to go to the trouble of thinking what he will make me. It can be an inconvience for the meat eater. I know that when my BF is starving and wants a rasher sandwich or whatever he has to go to the trouble of making me something veggie too so a quick bite can turn into "searching the cupboards looking for something to cook for me.

Frankly that can be blamed on Ireland having a crap veggie food selection more then anything else. Moved to the UK at the start of the year and my fridge is full of veggie rashers and quron deli 'meats' which either could be found in Ireland after searching 10 shops or couldn't be got for love or money...even the tiny shop on the corner stocks fake ham here.

Sharing with omnivores or veggies makes no difference, everyone has different food tastes and I've shared with some omnivores who were the pickiest eaters you've ever seen, hell I've shared with veggies who didn't eat any of the same things I do. Just look at this forum some people love fake meat products some people can't stand them, I think broccoli is evil yet some people put it in everything they eat....when you share with people you try to work out something that suits. It's not rocket science and frankly anyone who makes it out to be a massive relationship ending issue is just looking for a way out.