How open about sex are you with your mates?

krudler

Was chatting to the missus the other night and we got talking about sex (as you do) and she mentioned that she told her friends that I gave her the best oral she'd ever had, and I was a mixture of pride:D and embarassment:o that she talked about me to her friends like that, not in a bad way, just she said she went into a fair amount of detail.
She asked would I tell my friends about stuff we did and I told her in basic terms if the topic comes up but not in overly graphic details, I told her its a guy thing. You dont really want your friends knowing what your missus gets up to in bed I guess, its one thing bragging about a one night stand or something, but what is it about men that we get so offended if another guy thinks of our lady as a sexual object? Its very silly as I know I've probably ogled women who were mothers and daughters and sisters and what have you, but why is it so different for men and women to talk about their partners? Is it just a guy thing? Like for instance if you saw a girl on a night out and she had a great pair of boobs, you'd happily point it out to the lads, but if your friend started going out with said booby lady, you'd never mention it again..

partyguinness

There maybe 2-3 mates that I would be very open with...as in blow for blow account if it's a one night stand.

If we are in relationships it's very different. We keep the info for ourselves.

I am getting married in August and I dont need the buddies looking at her at the Alter knowing

a. she likes to tied up and spanked...
b. likes sleeping with women
c. and loves anal



Hence I am marrying her...

Wibbs

I'd be pretty open with my mates and so would they. Id have a fair idea what their partners like, don't like, are good at and aren't. Funny not so much with my women mates, but they would with me.

LD 50

Gotta find me a woman like that. Right now though just a woman would do now though:o

I wouldn't go into too much detail after even a one night stand. I might say what she looked like with no clothes on, or how long we went at it for. Never too much though. Some things are better kept to yourself for those long cold lonely nights.
But Definately wouldn't say anything like that if I was in any sort of relationship.

Boston

Talking to your friends about sex is an important step on the road towards a threeway.

studioguest

partyguinness wrote: »

There maybe 2-3 mates that I would be very open with...as in blow for blow account if it's a one night stand.

If we are in relationships it's very different. We keep the info for ourselves.

I am getting married in August and I dont need the buddies looking at her at the Alter knowing

a. she likes to tied up and spanked...
b. likes sleeping with women
c. and loves anal



Hence I am marrying her...

lucky b**tard

Red Hand

I keep it formal at all times.

Khannie

Not a kiss and tell sort tbh. I mean, I'd discuss some things, but not in a way that might reveal the lady in question.

CDfm

Boston wrote: »

Talking to your friends about sex is an important step on the road towards a threeway.

That deserves to be copywritted

Nah, talking to your friends about your sex life other than in the vaguest terms always strikes me as a bit pervy of the person and voyeurish of the audience.

Not something I would like tbh

Snowie

id side with khannie...

I dont really disscuss that kinda thing...My friend once turned round and said to me about a one night stand that the girl wouldnt lie there straight and do nothing... he had to ask her to lie still...

No Joke. I bit my lip...

Personally its not something that Id disscuss simply because im quite a private person..Tho talking with a girl im quite happy dissucss things if shes taking part

pwd

Boston wrote: »

Talking to your friends about sex is an important step on the road towards a threeway.

That pretty much sums up why I never do, and why I find it weird when other people do. Makes no sense to me why some guys want to bring in other people to something so intimate and private.

PK2008

I cant even say the word "tit-mouse" without giggling like a schoolgirl


Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!!!

G-Money

I don't tell my mates too much, mostly because I almost never have anything to tell.

Having said that, over the past few months I did have some stuff to talk about. I didn't really go into details about this and that, and what we did. One mate asked me how far I'd went with this particular girl and I told him but that was as much detail as he got.

I have to admit though, one of my friends is great to talk to about stuff. He's the kind of guy that no matter what you tell him, he never seems to judge you, or make you feel bad or stupid. It's quite rare. I told him about a particular issue I was having and it turned out the same thing occurred to him. Made me feel a lot better.

shellyboo

I'm a girl, but I don't actually *talk* to my friends about sex... I guess I don't want to horrify them, and more to the point they wouldn't want to know.

Don't think my boyfriend is overly graphic with his mates either. I think they're of a similar "ewww, TMI" opinion.

Shame really, cos I'd quite like to boast :P But that's what the blog's for I guess.

sam34

as a woman, i wouldnt really discuss the ins and outs (sorry, had to be done!) of my sex life with either my male or female friends

just seems a private matter, tbh

eg, none of my friends know how many men i've slept with - it's not a high number by any means, i'm certainly not ashamed of it, but as far as i'm concerned it's my business and nobody elses.

CDfm

there is something not very classy about it

Novella

I'm a girl, but the extent of sex talk with my friends is, "Was he good?", "Yeah, was alright.", "Cool, do you like my new shoes?".

I suppose every so often there'd be a bit of, "Oh my god, you'll never guess what he did in bed the other night..." or "Have you ever tried X?".

I dunno. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be bothered telling all of my friends what he's like in bed. I just kind of feel like it's none of their business. I wouldn't be particularly bothered by what he was telling his friends though.

I've no idea why I don't talk about sex more with my friends actually.

Sugar Free

Given that I've a girlfriend, I don't talk about it at all with my mates.
I'd also be fairly pissed off if she did and would consider it a breach of trust.

Cicero

Is this the Gentlemans' Club?...Oh thanks for pointing that out....sorry, thought I was in AH there for a minute.....my mistake.......................

K-9

See it as a private matter too.

Captain Chaos

MediumWell wrote: »

Given that I've a girlfriend, I don't talk about it at all with my mates.
I'd also be fairly pissed off if she did and would consider it a breach of trust.

That's what it's always been like with my group of mates. If any one of us is with anyone we don't talk about the bedroom antics at all. It's just an unwritten rule. Nobody says anything about it and that's the way it's always been. The only thing they might mention the odd time is if they haven't had any action in a while and that's the extent of it.

We would comment on one offs in a bit of detail here and there but not on anybody we are with or anyone we know or are close to, it's just not done.

If any girl was going into detail like that with her mates she would be quickly shown the door because it is a breech of trust and any of the lads in our group would be of the same mind set.

pawrick

for me I'd never talk about a current girlfriend to a mate in any graphic detail and even at that it would have to be a very close friend.

Unfortunately for me I'm one of the mates who gets to hear too much from the other lads. One friend of mine in particular I actually asked not to email me what he was getting up to with his now ex. Could never look at her the same way after without a little snigger to myself.

K-9

pawrick wrote: »

for me I'd never talk about a current girlfriend to a mate in any graphic detail and even at that it would have to be a very close friend.

Unfortunately for me I'm one of the mates who gets to hear too much from the other lads. One friend of mine in particular I actually asked not to email me what he was getting up to with his now ex. Could never look at her the same way after without a little snigger to myself.

Hmmm sounds a bit too forthcoming with the details!

PeakOutput

my friends knw pretty much everything male and female friends

not in a bragging way more of a talking to learn more way

PeakOutput

i dont understand peoples prudishness about talking about sex its a very irish thing

if you dont talk to girls about sex your not going to be very good at it imo, all the bst tips that iv been given, and i mean game changing tips here, have been from really good female friends who i would never sleep with but who we would be very open to eachother about our sex lives with. and i would give them tips too, everyone gets better

i understand the image of guys talking to guys is simply boasting but i dont think its as simple as that

i ask my friends advice and they ask me advice all the time saying that thats somehow ungentlemenlike is such an outdated view

PCPhoto

I'd be fairly open to discuss my sex life generally ...if someone asked....I dont volunteer the info to my friends (or even strangers) ...and I dont ask them for their details - although I have been bugging a friend who was travelling the world to show off his "sex tapes" ...he claims he made while travelling - I think its all talk.

so I dont give specific details - unless ...its kinda like.... erm...any of you guys ever try this ? or ... is this normal for her to ????....lol

Captain Chaos

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont understand peoples prudishness about talking about sex its a very irish thing

if you dont talk to girls about sex your not going to be very good at it imo, all the bst tips that iv been given, and i mean game changing tips here, have been from really good female friends who i would never sleep with but who we would be very open to eachother about our sex lives with. and i would give them tips too, everyone gets better

i understand the image of guys talking to guys is simply boasting but i dont think its as simple as that

i ask my friends advice and they ask me advice all the time saying that thats somehow ungentlemenlike is such an outdated view

We talk about sex all the time very casually among friends, girls and guys even when we're out as couples. Making crude jokes whatever the whole nine yards.

The line not to cross is very personal intimate details about current relationships or past relationships of people we know and are still close to. That's just out of common respect.

Blazer

Could never understand this whole talking about sex with your mates...fair enough if there's a problem in that department.
But nearly every person I know that constantly talked about it are those that suffer from low self-esteem etc and it seems like they think talking/bargging about it will actually boost it.
To be honest the only sex life I care about is my own..I couldn't give a rat's asses about anyone else's and certainly don't want to hear about it.

PeakOutput

Captain Chaos wrote: »

We talk about sex all the time very casually among friends, girls and guys even when we're out as couples. Making crude jokes whatever the whole nine yards.

The line not to cross is very personal intimate details about current relationships or past relationships of people we know and are still close to. That's just out of common respect.

ye of course just like everything else dont be a dick about it you can have a perfectly respectfull conversation about sex with your friends

im not talking about with anyone here by the way we all know who are close circle of trusted friends are

Captain Chaos

PeakOutput wrote: »

ye of course just like everything else dont be a dick about it you can have a perfectly respectfull conversation about sex with your friends

im not talking about with anyone here by the way we all know who are close circle of trusted friends are

Touche this evening.:rolleyes:

K-9

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont understand peoples prudishness about talking about sex its a very irish thing

if you dont talk to girls about sex your not going to be very good at it imo, all the bst tips that iv been given, and i mean game changing tips here, have been from really good female friends who i would never sleep with but who we would be very open to eachother about our sex lives with. and i would give them tips too, everyone gets better

i understand the image of guys talking to guys is simply boasting but i dont think its as simple as that

i ask my friends advice and they ask me advice all the time saying that thats somehow ungentlemenlike is such an outdated view

It isn't prudishness and in this day and age the best tips don't have to be garnered from friends.

I don't brag about something I'm good at, defeats the purpose!

Herbal Deity

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont understand peoples prudishness about talking about sex its a very irish thing

if you dont talk to girls about sex your not going to be very good at it imo, all the bst tips that iv been given, and i mean game changing tips here, have been from really good female friends who i would never sleep with but who we would be very open to eachother about our sex lives with. and i would give them tips too, everyone gets better

i understand the image of guys talking to guys is simply boasting but i dont think its as simple as that

i ask my friends advice and they ask me advice all the time saying that thats somehow ungentlemenlike is such an outdated view

I really don't understand how tips from another person could improve your sex with someone that much, let alone define how good you are in bed.

I mean, the only tips they could give you that aren't really obvious or well known, would be specific to what they enjoyed, which isn't going to generally improve your sexual ability.

The one person who getting tips off is a good idea, is your partner. If you can't talk to them about sex properly, then you have a prudishness problem.

But it's not prudish to not wish to talk in detail about your sex life with your friends (nor would it be ungentlemanlike if you were to do so, btw, no one in the thread said that.)

I just see it as an intimate thing between my gf and me. To me, excessive talking about it would be a bit like discussing any secrets my gf has told me with my mates.

CDfm

there is a fine line between tips if someone asks you and talking about your own relationship and getting into specifics.

Me I am a private person and what i get up to in bed is my own business and it would be a breach of confidence.

that doesnt make me a prude and as HD says its your partner you talk too. There are lots of on-line resourses books and shops around if you need more.

Anyway -why make other people jealous cos they dont measure up.

.

Faith

I would never say, "Guess what we did last night!" etc. I do talk openly about sex with my friends when I have a question or something. I might say "Have you ever tried X" and a discussion would lead from that. I try not to get too specific, but with a couple of extremely close friends, I wouldn't be too bothered.

I have one friend who completely over-shares about her sex life, and it's kinky in the extreme. When she talks about it, part of me is horrified and part is fascinated. Her boyfriend would kill her if he knew what she told people!

sam34

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont understand peoples prudishness about talking about sex

i don't think it's necessarily prudish.

if i wanted to, i could have a very open frank conversation about sex with my friends without feeling remotely abashed, but i just don't want to as it's a private matter.

PeakOutput

i was more reacting to thses two replies

Cicero wrote: »

Is this the Gentlemans' Club?...Oh thanks for pointing that out....sorry, thought I was in AH there for a minute.....my mistake.......................

CDfm wrote: »

there is something not very classy about it

whatever you personally decide to talk about or not is your business judging other people for what they talk about is prudish and backward

Galvasean

I'd be inclined to keep details about sex in a relationship private. (side note: the notorious Japanese filmmaker Takashe Miike, who will not show sex between a loving couple in one of his films as it is 'private')
That said, I'd have no qualms telling my mates all the gory details of a romp I had with some random slag I picked up at the local roller disco. (again, like Miike)
However, if I had say a problem with Mister Peeps, there are a few friends who I would not hesitate to ask them for advice. (luckily it hasn't happened yet, but I'm a young man and... I think I'll stop right there)

LD 50

It would depend who I was talking to. One or two would be quite comfortable to have a full on conversation about sex, whereas most would only need the vaguest details. If I had more that would listen I'd prob talk about it with them more.

To have a conversation about sex doesn't mean you'd have to talk about what your current partner likes or doesn't like. Or even about past partners. Some tricks or techniques are pretty much universal. We've all been doing it long enough to know what works and what doesn't.

SugarHigh

krudler wrote: »

she mentioned that she told her friends that I gave her the best oral she'd ever had

You only made this thread so you could post this.

krudler wrote: »

if your friend started going out with said booby lady, you'd never mention it again..

It definitely would be mentioned again.:D

Contessa Raven

When I was younger (teens) my friends would all have really detailed discussions about sex. But now that we're older, we only really talk about it when:

a: Something amusing happens. e.g. "We were in bed the other night and as I was moving to do X, I hit 'Dave' in the face with my boob and he fell out of the bed!"

Or

b: When we have a question about something.

Otherwise we're all really private. I think it's just seen as respectful to your partner and your relationship.

Pyr0

Only when something hilarious happens in bed or if someone actually asks "So what did you do with to/with her ?" or "Is she any good in bed ?" for example.

Son Of A Vidic

What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.

myflipflops

sam34 wrote: »

i don't think it's necessarily prudish.

if i wanted to, i could have a very open frank conversation about sex with my friends without feeling remotely abashed, but i just don't want to as it's a private matter.

Big +1.

I have a big sense of a private life being private. I never liked the idea of former girlfriends talking to their friends about anything that I felt was a matter between us, sex included.

The general idea/stereotype that woman tell their friends EVERYTHING always bothered me. I always gave my girlfriends credit for the ability to respect the privacy between us.

PK2008

1. Insert penis
2. Rotate
3. Dont say thanks

..............thats all I got

ShagNastii

Yep I think we all know the code- if it's random girl and you are asked, the details generally are as graphic or as crude as you can express. As immature and uncalled for as this is nobody gets hurt you look like an absolute stud in front of your mates. In short tell them what they want to hear.

With a girl your friends know or that you are in a relationship with this should NEVER be the case. As said private is private. It comes down to respect for girl and the intimacy you hold with each other. When in a relationship there is no need to talk about it anyway. Like I know what my friends are like and what their girlfriends are like. They're more than likely at it. What more needs to be said. If Mary likes throatjobs or Aoife has a foot fetish? I'm not really needing of that information.

I found this out the hard way in one of my first relationships. One of my friends was housesharing with a girl I ended up seeing and after a while when they asked about herself and myself, I let rip with all the very very gory details of what, when, where, how? Of course every single bit of it got back to her. She was rightly pissed off with me greatly upset. She nearly lynched me. I really was immature and didn't know any better at the time. That's what guys do right? WRONG. A very valuable lesson I've learned.

K-9

Why does it seem acceptable to talk about one nighters but not relationships? Seems to be a common answer on the thread. Don't see the distinction myself.

Mackman

There's only 1 of my mates that i would openly talk about EVERYTHING with. He's the type that wouldnt judge you at all, and probably says "ive done that too!".
In saying that, i would only talk to him about it if i had a problem, or if he did an needed some advice. As for the ladies, i know the OH tells her friends stuff. but we have an agreement, there's only a certain amount of detail she can go into. And she respects my privacy. And i respect hers.

I think an answer to K-9's question is that, respect. Most people who have 1 night stands dont have respect for the other person because chances are, they'll never see them again. Different in a relationship

LD 50

medicman2009 wrote: »

What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.

What if it doesn't happen in the bedroom?

I think an answer to K-9's question is that, respect. Most people who have 1 night stands dont have respect for the other person because chances are, they'll never see them again. Different in a relationship

Yea, that's pretty much how I see it.

Smallbit

K-9 wrote: »

It isn't prudishness and in this day and age the best tips don't have to be garnered from friends.

I don't brag about something I'm good at, defeats the purpose!

I agree, I but I also think it's a bit cheap to reveal details of your intimate life. I've been in the company of other women that revealed all sorts of lurid details and was a little uncomfortable.

I'm no prude and I talk about these things with clients in my day to day job, but I don't want to know the size, shape, and performance of my friend's partner's pen1s!

I'll probably be having dinner with them soon and the conversation will flow a lot better if random thoughts about their sex lives aren't popping
into my head :eek:

On once occasion, I witnessed two competitive women considering whether one boyfriend's oral skills outweighed the other's ability to go for 30 minutes. It was all a little ridiculous to be honest, though I suppose as someone who's very happy with my sex life it's easy to remain tight-lipped about it...

Nebit

generally it depends on the person as to how much i do and dont tell however i think iv spoke about sex on some lines with every one of my mates. Especially the funny or unusual ones. :rolleyes:

Icky Thump

im extremly open with my mates. hell they even know how often i masturbate:D but no seriously i dont think id go into detail with anyone about my sexual activities but i have no problem talking about it. its just specially if im with someone i really like i dont want my mates thinking of her in the sack