Attention seeking child

TangyZizzle

My gf has a little sister who is 9 years old, she hasn't got many friends (one, a cousin she doesnt see often, and a little girl that doesnt seem too interested in her, actually.) so she's very bored at home and is constantly seeking attention.
She comes up to the bedroom where we are, asks for us to come out and play/go for a walk/come and watch her play sims(ffs), if we dont comply with any of these demands she begins to lash out at her sister, and even me recently since shes become accustomed to my company.
Usually we will just lay on the bed, refrain from speaking, or even react to anything she is doing in the room in an attempt to get her to fúck off.
This usually does the trick, but can often take the guts off an hour for it to work
The little girl can sink to some very low.. lows. She has, on occasion, climbed over me, leaned into my gfs ear and whispered in a real menacing voice things like "Mam doesnt love you," / "Your bf is ugly,"
She doesnt knock before entering the room, she doesnt wait for us to finish talking, she just walks in and talks over us. The only thing that has any affect on her is threatening to call her Mam who is in work, and even that doesnt work sometimes. Shes often taken the initiative of phoning the mother herself upon being threatened, and telling her how we are bullying her :rolleyes:

What the hell can we do?

Mr Magnolia

As you say, she's seeking attention; how about giving her some?

TangyZizzle

Id really rather not, I only see my girlfriend once a week. Im there to see her, not her little sister.

Sorry, that sounds cold, Ill elaborate.
We've tried giving her attention in the hopes that maybe she'll leave us alone after so long, but she doesn't.

storm2811

bring your gf to your house?

TangyZizzle

No can do, even more kids.

goat2

i think you do not understand this little girl
her mom works all day
her sister gives her time to you
who finds the time for her
and if she enters the room, it is her home
i think you and her sister who is your gf as you call her
she is her sister
she deserve peoples time

storm2811

TangyZizzle wrote: »

No can do, even more kids.

They can't be as bad as the one you're talking about surely?
My little brother used to be like that,i think every kid is like that though,wants to be friends with their older brother/sisters friends?

just say you'll play with her later if she leaves ye alone for a bit,or be nice to her for a while and then say ya wanna chat to her sis for a while?

giving the cold shoulder thing never works and is kinda mean tbh for a lil child..

ohdatlewis

goat2 wrote: »

i think you do not understand this little girl
her mom works all day
her sister gives her time to you
who finds the time for her
and if she enters the room, it is her home
i think you and her sister who is your gf as you call her
she is her sister
she deserve peoples time

+1
Grow up buddy will ya. I don't know what age you are but you sound like a child yourself. We were all that age once, the girl may demand the attention but she does deserve. She obviously has trouble making friends and when her own sister chooses to spend time with you rather than her own family what is this child going to think? Take her out with ye, you can do several activites that will allow you to enjoy your time with your gf as well as minding her sister.

TangyZizzle

Ok, thanks for that everyone. Ill try and take a look at how we handle her attention seeking and try to be more positive in future.
For what its worth, I have suggested that we take her on walks or spend some time with her to maybe make her feel more comfortable and then eventually get some time alone with the gf, but she is a busy girl herself, she has a long hard week to get through and looks forward to seeing me at the end of it.. and pretty much despises her little sister for spoiling what little time we have alone each and every time.

Also, the odd time that I have tried to get through to the little sister she seems to be content in whatever she is doing and I just get in the way

cbyrd

What age is your girlfriend? does she look after her little sister while you're in the house (you said her mum was at work) ? could you not arrange to see your girlfriend when she doesn't have to look after her sister. I can understand that you want to spend time with her and not her sister and little girls can be very spiteful. i was one once
i do agree it's not up to you to enterain a 9 year old. if it's a case where you can't spend any time elsewhere or you girlfriend has no option but to look after her maybe bring a dvd and some goodies over and promise to watch it with her after x amount of time alone with your girlfriend.. bribery always works!!
i'd also ask your girlfriend to have a word with mum about being able to have time to spend with you if its a case that she is the childs minder she does deserve a social life too.
I say this from experience looking after younger brothers at the weekends i had no social life til i moved out.. it's a pain and i feel for you!

TangyZizzle

cbryd, thanks a lot for that. I know what the problem is now though, its my gfs (shes 18 btw, Im 19) resentment for her little sister that is stopping me from being able to solve the problem.
Iv brought sweets for the lil demon, dvds as well, but it really does come down to the fact that my gf doesnt want me to have to entertain her sister, she wants me for herself.
We've spoken to the mother about having words with her, but shes really powerless against what happens while shes at work.

Nevyn

Then see you gf at another time when she is not primarily minding her younger sister.
Heavens forbid that the child come to harm when she is left unsupervised in the house while you snuggle with her sister.

TangyZizzle

I never even once said she is minding her sister. For the most part, the mother's boyfriend is at home. Hes the one designated to minding the child, not us.

cbyrd

I'd try for a few weeks then meeting you girlfriend out of the house. if she's not childminding then maybe the 9 year old is just jealous plain and simple. the only way out is if you're not in the house she can't bug you and your girlfriend will have you all to herself.
I do understand your dilema that if you only see your girlfriend once a week it's understandable neither you nor her want to share your time with anyone else... that's what teenagedom with no responsibilites is all about..!!:D but i suppose that she'd be the most effective form of contraception for you guys!! hahaha maybe her mum puts her up to it:p

TangyZizzle

cbyrd wrote: »

but i suppose that she'd be the most effective form of contraception for you guys!! hahaha maybe her mum puts her up to it:p

Jesus, knowing the mother, that seems entirely possible

cbyrd

yes... that's the mammy thinking in me.. have to say i'd do the same:D looks like it'll be the cinema next week so:D:D

Ickle Magoo

I think it's between your gf, her sister and her mother. If there is an issue re privacy then it's for them to thrash out an agreement, discuss getting locks for the door, etc. At the moment it sounds like you are wanting time alone with the gf and as your house is worse, you are expecting her to do something about her sister interrupting you. Why not go to your house and try to get your family to stop interrupting you? Or come up with ways of getting privacy there? I think it's a bit rich expecting someone else to do something you won't do yourself.

At 18 & 19 you are old enough to be going out on dates, walks in the park, walks on the beach, etc. Do you drive? Can you get your own place? There are lots of ways of getting some privacy that don't include ignoring a wee girl in her own home for an hour.

TangyZizzle

My house: The issue with my house isnt privacy, its.. its just the sheer number of little ones there. Iv a little brother and sister both between 5 and 12, as well as my older sisters two boys that are both under 5. We have tried my house and decided that hers is the better of the two options.
Door locks: Its been discussed.. BRIEFLY, and over-ruled by the "and what will you be doing in that room once the door is locked?," argument.
Going out/dates and such: Its also been discussed and ruled out, simply because of the intensity of my gfs week. Shes a very bright girl and works hard in school all week long, as well as helping her little sister do her homework (she has difficulties grasping english and needs a lot of help) Again, we're coming back to the point of my gf not wanting to have to entertain (or for me to entertain) the little sister.

Ickle Magoo

TangyZizzle wrote: »

My house: The issue with my house isnt privacy, its.. its just the sheer number of little ones there. Iv a little brother and sister both between 5 and 12, as well as my older sisters two boys that are both under 5.

Do you share a room with them? Why not discuss getting a lock on your door or ignore them for an hour until they leave you alone?

I get that you need privacy and it's nigh on impossible to find at home but I think it's unfair you are passing the buck to your gf to find you some...

TangyZizzle

The kids in my house dont come near us, its just the noise that they can create when they want to.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I think it's unfair you are passing the buck to your gf to find you some...

Its my gfs choice to use her house, its bigger and has far less noise. Please people, stop reading into things that aren't there, I have been trying since November of last year to find a solution to our problems, this thread is a last ditch effort from me to hopefully get some advice.

Ickle Magoo

TangyZizzle wrote: »

The kids in my house dont come near us, its just the noise that they can create when they want to.

So, what's the issue then? Noisy kids who don't come near you Vs a little girl who does. Radio on & bob's your uncle.

TangyZizzle wrote: »

Its my gfs choice to use her house, its bigger and has far less noise. Please people, stop reading into things that aren't there, I have been trying since November of last year to find a solution to our problems, this thread is a last ditch effort from me to hopefully get some advice.

I get you & please don't think I'm having a go. I just don't understand why you are on a crusade to do something about someone else's sister - if they feel strongly about it then that's their job, isn't it? Especially if you have a perfectly good room where you won't be interrupted elsewhere. Until you get your own place there is always going to be an unruly sibling, a picky parent, an annoying flat-mate, etc, etc. You just have to get inventive and go else where - it's much easier for an 18 & 19 yr old to go out than to get rid of a nine yr old.

You say your gf is busy - fine, she's busy but surely she can go out occasionally, it doesn't have to be you always going to her house.

TangyZizzle

Okay Ickle, thanks very much. Its become painfully obvious to me that the only way to get around the little sister is to be out and about, thanks everyone once again.