The last request!

coldfire1x

Father O’Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does, when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

“What’s bothering you, dear?” asked Father O’Grady.

“Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary. “My husband passed away last night.”

“Oh, Mary!” said the good father. “That’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?”

“Yes…,” Mary replied sheepishly.

“Well?”

“He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down the gun!!’”

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A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin in the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and hadn’t been seen for five days. The elderly woman who ran the resort got concerned about the welfare of the newlyweds, and sent her husband to check on them.

The husband knocks on the door of the cabin, and a weak voice from inside answers.

The old man asks, “Are you young folks all right?”

“Yes, we’re fine,” the man answered. We’re living on the fruits of love.”

The old man replied, “I kinda figured that. Say…would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They’re choking my ducks!”