How long should it take to conceive?

mood

My friend is off the pill 9 months. She is a healthy, 29 yr old, doesn't smoke but does drink. Not 100% sure if she has stopped drinking yet (I would think you should before trying for a baby).

Is it unusual for it to take a 29 yr old this long to conceive her first child?
Should she be seeking medical advice yet?

I don't want to panic her but if it was me I would be getting worried.

flower tattoo

no reason to worry yet , most doctors would tell her that it takes on average a year. Many people who get pregnant don't mention they've been trying for ages so people assume it always happen really quickly.

mood

flower tattoo wrote: »

no reason to worry yet , most doctors would tell her that it takes on average a year. Many people who get pregnant don't mention they've been trying for ages so people assume it always happen really quickly.

I know for sure my sisters conceived very quickly that is why I found this unusual.

flower tattoo

yes, so did i, but my sister took a year for both of hers and when she went to the doctor after 9 months he told her to go away - far too soon to be worrying. And he was right.

crazy cat lady

Doctors wont do anything until you've been trying to conceive for a year.

Is your friend using the ovulation strips? Might be that she's just not doing it at the right times of the month!

Its taken my friend almost 2 years to get preggers with her third baby, I know it took about 7 months with the 2nd, not sure about the first.

A really good book is 'Trying to Conceive, An Irish couples guide'. I believe it explains the ins and outs of when you should be trying etc... It might help her to figure out where she might be going wrong

PARKHEAD67

mood wrote: »

My friend is off the pill 9 months. She is a healthy, 29 yr old, doesn't smoke but does drink. Not 100% sure if she has stopped drinking yet (I would think you should before trying for a baby).

Is it unusual for it to take a 29 yr old this long to conceive her first child?
Should she be seeking medical advice yet?

I don't want to panic her but if it was me I would be getting worried.

Drinking would make absoloutely no difference by the way.

Jinxi

Most of the stuff I read says that drinking excessivly can damage fertility

Bugnug

mood wrote: »

My friend is off the pill 9 months. She is a healthy, 29 yr old, doesn't smoke but does drink. Not 100% sure if she has stopped drinking yet (I would think you should before trying for a baby).

Is it unusual for it to take a 29 yr old this long to conceive her first child?
Should she be seeking medical advice yet?

I don't want to panic her but if it was me I would be getting worried.

My wife is 4 months pregnant. At first we were all worried because we were not sure how long it should take. So we went to our doctor for professional advice. She told us to relax, there is no specific time of the month to get pregnant. There are 12 times in a year when a woman can get pregnant. As soon as we relaxed and took it easy, had a bit of fun it happened. She should go see here doctor with her partner.

Straycat

Jinxi wrote: »

Most of the stuff I read says that drinking excessivly can damage fertility

well it certainly can be a factor, But amongst other things. lots and lots of drinkers both heavy and moderate get pregnant easily.

if you are having difficulties and get to the stage where you are attending a fertiliy clinic they will not tell you to give up drink (cigarettes on the other hand should go immeadiatly) rather to cut down.

in response to the op, its probably not anything for your friend to be worrying about. after being on contraception it may take a while for her periods to regulate into a cycle, this is incredibly important so she knows the right time to have sex, believe it or not the window to concieve each month is so tiny.

if she is worried, and knows that she is ovulating, and doing it at the right time each month she could find a fertility friendly doc and tell them she has been trying unsucessfully for nearly a year and she would like basic bloods done, then take it from there.

she should be in control of her own journey so do not be fobbed off by a doc telling her go home and relax, if that is not what she wants to do.

be supportive for her, everyone is different, somtimes its fine to take a bit more time to concieve, it dosnt mean anything is amiss, but somtimes being proactive about your situation can save a lot of wasted time.

Neyite

it can also take a while for a womans body to regulate itself after coming off the pill. periods can be irregular at first which is head-wrecking for figuring out your fertile dates.

reading up on the basics of trying to concieve is a good start- but trying for a baby can get very stressful very quickly, which can hinder the process too. doctors normally say that anything up to a year or so is very normal.

from your post, it seems that you have not had a child or tried too conceive? conception is a very personal thing between a couple, and may even be a touchy subject, be careful how you would approach any advice- even well meaning- i myself would not dream of offering advice to a friend about conceiving unless i had experience of it, and she had asked me.

di11on

I'm sure there are websites out there that will do the maths for you.. but I remember reading that there's only one day in your menstrual cycle when the egg can be fertilised. You have a day or two around this because the sperm hang around in there for a bit. Then, there's a host of other factors involved meaning that even if you have had sex on the optimal day, you're not guaranteed to conceive.

It's all probabilities. You can throw a dice and get a 6 first time, or it might take you 20 throws if you're not lucky. It might take 40 throws before you can conclude that something's wrong with your dice :-)

How Strange

di11on wrote: »

I'm sure there are websites out there that will do the maths for you.. but I remember reading that there's only one day in your menstrual cycle when the egg can be fertilised. You have a day or two around this because the sperm hang around in there for a bit. Then, there's a host of other factors involved meaning that even if you have had sex on the optimal day, you're not guaranteed to conceive.

It's all probabilities. You can throw a dice and get a 6 first time, or it might take you 20 throws if you're not lucky. It might take 40 throws before you can conclude that something's wrong with your dice :-)

Yep that's what I've read too. All this taking temperatures and opk pee strips etc really takes the romance out of it. From what I read you should try every day/second day from day4 of cycle up to OV day and then once or twice after.

However I find it all very confusing. It's ironic that you spend so much of your late teens/20's petrified of getting pregnant and when you decide it's the right time you realise it's not that easy.

cynder

I get pregnant very easy as i know when i ovulate. (First ovulation after taking the pill i got pregnant that was 2 weeks after stoppin the pill, HE WAS EVEN DUE ON NEW YEARS NOW THATS GOOD TIMING)

I would reccommend your friend getting ovulation kits. If you know when you ovulate the chances are better.

For many people it can take 1 - 2 years.

bubbaloo

Well, after 7 years of hell I can offer some informed advice here.
9 months is not a long time to be trying and most doctors will not look into it until a year has past.
However, if there are any outside stresses it is best to get rid of them as stress really makes a difference. And if your friend does feel she wants to see a doctor, she may need to be quite firm so as not to let any GP dismiss her worries - this can happen a lot!

To the poster who said there is "no specific time of the month to get pregnant" - I'm not sure which doctor told you that but nothing could be further from the truth.
A woman can only get pregnant within 72 hours of ovulation. Contrary to popular belief, it is the egg that waits for the sperm and not the sperm that "hangs around". The problem is that most women think they ovulate around day 14. This may not be correct so charting in some way, although it can "take the romance out of it" is a good idea.
I now have a one year old boy so once I found what worked for me it was a quick result. I ovulated on day 11!!
It's different for everyone.
Good luck to your friend.

Jinxi

I know what all the books say, but I have a regulalr cycle, and I know when I ovulate and if I spend 6 months ttc without success then I would be off to the doc for the rudimentary tests(the non-invasive ones anyway).
The doc is't going to know how long we have been trying. Just tell him its been 2 years. Whats the worst that cam happen? You either get pregnant while waiting for the results, or you get a head start if something is found to be an issue!

ThePiedPiper

For any mothers of 2 or 3 out there, how long did it take you to conceive your second child? We were lucky enough to have our first without planning it and have been trying for our second for a while. Is 6 months the average give or take?

Rubberlegs

Hi, took me 9 months after coming off pill to conceive second child. First was unplanned so no idea as was trying not to get pregnant:D

Fran79

Hi
Took me 2 years to conceive with my boy (now 2)

Found this site usefull (although a bit american), their tutorials were very helpfull (if a little graphic)

www.fertilityfriend.com

Fran

Cat Melodeon

mood wrote: »

My friend is off the pill 9 months. She is a healthy, 29 yr old, doesn't smoke but does drink. Not 100% sure if she has stopped drinking yet (I would think you should before trying for a baby).

Is it unusual for it to take a 29 yr old this long to conceive her first child?
Should she be seeking medical advice yet?

I don't want to panic her but if it was me I would be getting worried.

The odd drink shouldn't hurt. In fact, alcohol probably plays a significant role in many conceptions

Are you 100% sure she's committed to trying to conceive? Maybe she's under pressure to have a baby from family and friends, but isn't ready herself yet. She might be telling you one thing but doing something else in the privacy of her bedroom. I agree with Neyite here. It's your friend's journey - you really should just be there to listen when she needs to talk, not panic her or do her research for her.

mood

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

The odd drink shouldn't hurt. In fact, alcohol probably plays a significant role in many conceptions

Are you 100% sure she's committed to trying to conceive? Maybe she's under pressure to have a baby from family and friends, but isn't ready herself yet. She might be telling you one thing but doing something else in the privacy of her bedroom. I agree with Neyite here. It's your friend's journey - you really should just be there to listen when she needs to talk, not panic her or do her research for her.

Yes I am sure she is 100% committed to conceiving and I don't even know why you are bring all this up! She is off the pill, surely not the actions of a woman who doesn't want to have a baby! I have heard the ins and outs of issues she had with coming off it etc. She is not under pressure from family or friends. I am just there to listen and support her. I am not panicing her in anyway. How is me posting here panicing her? I just posted here to see if this is the norm so I can be of support if she asks my opinion in the future. If the general consensus here was that there was or could be a problem then I wouldn't see a problem with encouraging her to see a doctor just to be sure just like I would if it were any other health problem. But when it seems to be the norm I obviously am not going to bring it up.