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Rules for Women during the World Cup

  • 25-04-2010 4:49pm
    #1
    bamboozling
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,557 ✭✭✭


    Saw this on Facebook and had a great laugh. Here's the list;

    1) If i catch you catch you saying Cristiano Ronaldo is hot, you will automaticaly get a smack on the chin.

    2) During the World Cup the television is mine. At all times without any exceptions. Eastenders, Hollyoaks and Corrie can all get to F*ck away. Go keep the bed warm for me.

    3) I will most likely have a coupon or a bet on. So if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, Don't dare say:
    It's only a game
    Get over it
    They will win next time.
    This will only result in a break up or a divorce.

    4) Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. Except from in between matches. If i fall asleep and miss a match.. this will lead to again a divorce or a break up.

    5) The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them already. I want to see them again.

    6) Make sure you are taking note.

    7) Tell your friends NOT to have any parties or gatherings that will require my attendance.
    a) I will cuss at you.
    b) You will sleep on the sofa.
    c) I just will not go

    8) However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    9) The World Cup is not a cheesy excuse for us to spend time together. You are welcome to watch one game with me, only one game and you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials

    10) Men are immune to the words "Thank god the world cup is only every 4 years"
    After The World Cup comes the:
    Champions league
    Euro 2012 qualifying
    and all the domestic leagues.

    11) During The World Cup you can have the remote between 12am and 6am.

    12) The Referee is always a wanker.

    13) If you here me scream your name be ready to:
    Grab me a drink.
    Grab me a snack.
    Get me new batteries for the remote.

    You will not be needed for anything else.

    14) During the game I will not be able to hear or see you.
    Your job is to make sure there is some beer in the fridge.


    15) Don't ask what the offside rule is. This will result in anther smack on the chin and also another for not being in the room keeping the bed warm.


    Do you guys have any more to add to the list?


Comments

  • #2
    KittyeeTrix
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,239 ✭✭✭KittyeeTrix


    This is an alternative list I found for football season widows!!!

    1. Party! Instead of shunning the games, find out when the games are on, and throw a party for his football buddies and their significant others and families. Make it a football buffet – either cook, cater or ask for pot luck contributions. And be sure to invite some of your non-football fan friends so that you can have a good time, too.

    2. Alternative party. Like the exclusive parties in the back rooms of the clubs, make your own back room party that has nothing to do with his football game. In a separate part of the house – so you’re not disturbing him, and he’s not disturbing you – throw your own party with your girlfriends. It’s a great way to catch up on girl talk.
    3. Stress less. Schedule a massage and a pedicure during his football games. Take care of yourself, and relieve your own stress without having to stare down the plasma screen for a couple of hours with him. Schedule your private time so that it directly coincides with his game. He’ll never you were gone, and you’ll never know about all the touchdowns you missed.

    4. Shop till you drop. Use this time to go shopping. Consider it simultaneous, parallel private time. He’s doing his thing in the recliner. You’re doing your thing with the Visa card. Everybody’s happy!

    5. Step up your game. Be a competitor without playing football. Use the time your man’s watching football to take a lesson – a tennis lesson, that is. Or a ski or snowboarding lesson. Or some other lesson that will hone your sport. Then challenge him, when his football game is over. You can have your own extreme sport
    – it doesn’t have to be football. And believe me – if he loves football, he’ll be appreciative of your sporty ways.

    6. No electricity. Give him a surprise – this is a good one. Right before the game, pull the breakers on the electricity supply so that he thinks he won’t be able to watch the game. Then right before he is about to completely lose it – have all his friends stream in with chips, beer – and turn the breakers back on. Surprise! He’ll really appreciate his football game – and your spunk and sense of humor.

    7. Get in the spirit. Decorate the TV room like a party for his team with all his team colors. Get a cheerleader uniform for his team and wear it. He’ll love it.

    8. Memorabilia. Make your own tradition, by presenting him at halftime with a gift – a signed piece of sports memorabilia from his favorite player. Try on-line auction sites and local or national sports memorabilia stores for everything from photos to footballs to jerseys that are signed by various players at all price ranges. He’ll love it – and you.

    9. Sexy post game show. When the game is over, surprise him with a candlelit bedroom and some lingerie in team colors – or just a football jersey and nothing else – for your own private tackle football game.

    It's American football based but still seriously, are they for fcuking real???
    I particularly love no.7.........put on the cheerleader uniform and no.9, lingerie in the team's colours!!!:eek:


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