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dak

An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited
a doctor to find out how to go about this.

"Well", said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot
that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain."

"That's OK", said the Englishman. "I have always wanted to be
Irish and I am prepared to take the risk."

The operation went ahead but Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor.

"I'm so terribly sorry !" the doctor said"Instead of removing half the brain, I have a taken the whole brain out!"

The patient replied, "That's all right mate !"

Doc

An Irishman is in a bar in England with a large group of Englishmen telling jokes aimed at the Irishman making the Irish out to be stupid.

After they ran out of jokes the Irishman starts to tell a story:

“I was traveling through the jungles of South America when I herd a cry for help. I ran to the sound and discovered a man hanging from the edge of a cliff. I helped pull the man up to safety and to thank me he asked me to come to his home for a meal.
On the way to his village he explained to me that his tribe where cannibals and that there was nothing they prized more then the brains of foreigners but he assured me that as I had saved his life I would be quite safe.
We entered the village and he brought me to the market to show me where the brains where being sold.

The first tray contained Irish brains which he explained to me were relatively inexpensive.”

The English people at the table started laughing at this but the Irishman continued

“The next tray he explained contained the brains of Scottish people and these though slightly more expensive were still very cheep.”

The English men laughed again…

“As we passed from tray to tray the brains became steadily more expensive until we reached the final tray that contained the most expensive brains off all… the English brains!”

The Englishmen around the started to clap and cheer and one of them said

“That’s because were so smart”

“No” said the Irishman “It’s because there so ****ing rare!”

CrackerXYZ

Nice one Doc.:D

Ronin247

Two English men in a pub trying to wind up the only Irish man there.

" Ere Paddy St Patrick was only a cnut" says the first Englishman,Paddy ignores him and continues drinking his pint. "Ere Paddy St Patrick was only a w*nker" is the next attempt by the Englishman and still no reaction.
The second Englishman tells his pal " you dont know how to upset an Irishman let me try.................Ere Paddy did you know that St Patrick was actually British?".

Paddy puts down his pint turns round to look at them and says "Sure I know that, your friend just told me"

StormWarrior

dak wrote: »

An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited
a doctor to find out how to go about this.

"Well", said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot
that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain."

"That's OK", said the Englishman. "I have always wanted to be
Irish and I am prepared to take the risk."

The operation went ahead but Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor.

"I'm so terribly sorry !" the doctor said"Instead of removing half the brain, I have a taken the whole brain out!"

The patient replied, "That's all right mate !"

I don't get it.

Stinicker

StormWarrior wrote: »

I don't get it.

"That's all right mate !" is a very common English saying, and thus by removing all his brain he was now a true English man. I am assuming you are british to not get this and thus lacking a brain* :P

*I try to make humour

Stinicker

Stinicker wrote: »

"That's all right mate !" is a very common English saying

Ohh.. I thought it was a joke on Australians...