Ned's Recently Viewed Horror Movies

Otis Driftwood

Masters of Horror - Pick Me Up
Enjoyable enough entry with Fairuza Balk playing a traveller that gets caught between 2 serial killers,both of whom want to do bad things to her.Good fun although highly implausible,some decent kills and a really good performances from the 2 killers.
7/10

Masters of Horror - The Fair Haired Child
Story centres around a young girl that gets kidnapped and is thrown into a cellar with a seemingly mute adolescent boy.As the plot develops we discover that the girl was kidnapped by a middle aged couple whose child had drowned years earlier and they made a pact with the devil to re-incarnate him.No real gore to talk about but there is a nice sense of dread throughout and a few creepy moments.One of the few MOH episodes that has a "happy" ending.
7/10

Otis Driftwood

Masters of Horror - Haeckles Tale
Last episode of season 1 is about a young surgeon in what appear to be Victorian times and his obsession with re-incarnation and life after death.On the way to visit his sick father he takes refuge in a house with an old man and his beautiful young wife.He awakes in the middle of the night to strange noises and howls and upon investigating he makes a shocking discovery.
Adapted from a Clive Barker short this is an enjoyable entry,some nice enough gore and a good little screenplay.I loved the ending too.
7.5/10

Overall I found Season 1 of MOH pretty good,a few crappy enough episodes but the sheer awesomeness of Cigarette Burns makes up for any shortcomings.

Reckon Im going to catch up on some movies Ive picked up over the last months before I tackle Season 2.

Otis Driftwood

Masters of Horror - Pelts
First episode of season 2 is good fun.It centres around a fur trader (Meatloaf) who gets some racoon pelts from a poacher (John Saxon) which appear to have some kind of magical powers and causes people that come in contact with them to go quite mad.While this doesnt pack the punch of Cigarette Burns its by far the goriest MOH episode thus far.In the 50 odd minutes run time we are treated to self evisceration,self flagellation,self stitching of eyes,nose and mouth shut as well as a nice face in a bear trap scene.Overall enjoyable gory goodness.
7.5/10

Otis Driftwood

La Horde
Thoroughly enjoyable French zombie movie.It centres around a group of people that go to a derelict building to eliminate some immigrant gangsters.Things take a turn for the worse when corpses start re-animating and attacking the cast forcing the survivors to band together and try and escape.This moves along at a brisk pace,has some nice gore and decent acting.It reminded me of Left 4 Dead which is no bad thing IMO.
8/10

Splice
Dire sci fi horror effort with Adrien Brody.Its about a scientist that splices her dna with that of a genetically created creature,creating a human hybrid.Crap effects,crap acting,crap story,this movie sucked from start to finish.
2/10

Otis Driftwood

All Masters of Horror Season 2 Episodes
Pro-Life
Ron Perlman stars as a fanatical anti-abortionist that attacks an abortion clinic to get his daughter out.Nice gore,and Perlman is as watchable as always.
7/10

Family
George (Norm from Cheers) Wendt stars in this wonderfully twisted tale of a lonely man that keeps skeletons of people he has killed as his family.He befriends his new neighbours but they are not what they appear to be.I loved this episode.Virtually no gore or violence but its a great story and has a wonderfully macabre ending.Best of Season 2 thus far.
9/10

Right to Die
A woman gets severly burned at the story is about her husbands efforts to let her die,then his efforts to keep her alive.Nice story and some cool effects in this one.
7/10

The Scerewfly Solution
This is about men all over the world that start murdering women for no apparant reason.Very intersting premise let down by a frankly silly ending.Some nice gory touches in it though.
5/10

Otis Driftwood

A Serbian Film
Finally sat down and watched this last night and I suppose the burning question is does it live up to the hype?Sadly for me,no,it doesnt.Simple story about a retired porn star that gets an offer he cant refuse to make some "art" porn movies by the strange Vukimir.Milos (main character) is not told what type of films will be shot and is told to just arrive and give his natural reaction.The movies turn out to be incresingly nasty,mysoginistic and violent.When Milos balks at doing anything too extreme Vukimir shows him another movie he made,thats when things get really bad.

This movie is designed to shock,pure and simple.The scene of

"newborn porn" while undoubtably distasteful,doesnt garner any sympathy from the viewer(well,me anyway) mailny because the mother is lying there after giving birth and smiling while a man rapes her baby.She was obviously a willing participant but IMO it would have been a much more shocking scene if her reaction was like it should have been.

The scenes of violence are very,very well done with some brilliant effects work so for that the movie deserves props but over all it didnt pack the punch of other underground shock movies eg Mordum,or the unrelenting desperation of something like Martyrs.The movies ending could also be seen coming a mile off,something that isnt the case with the 2 mentioned above.

Average movie that is more hype than trousers.

6/10

Otis Driftwood

The Company of Wolves
Enjoyable adult twist on the Little Red Riding Hood story.Some really good effects/transformation work,creepy moments and a menacing turn from Stephen Rea make this well worth tracking down.
7.5/10

The Exorcist
No intro needed at this stage.I really like this movie.Jason Millers performance as the tortured Fr Karras being a particular highlight.
8/10

Exorcist 2 : The Heretic
Really didnt like this movie.A piss poor story centring on hypnosis/regression and no tension or anything noteworthy.I must say though,Linda Blair is cute as a button in it.
4/10

The Exorcist 3
First time I ever sat and watched this in its entirety and Im glad I finally did as I very much enjoyed it.I dont view it as a true sequel as its more of a serial killer with a supernatural twist movie but that doesnt really matter.The movie moves along briskly,there are some cool creepy movies and it doesnt try and rely on gore to ramp up the tension.Brad Dourif's turn is exceptional as The Gemini Killer.For those that havnt seen the trilogy,skip part 2 and jump straight to this one.
8/10

Otis Driftwood

Jason Goes To Hell

Part 9 of the franchise is a pleasent surprise.Parts 7 and 8 are dire but this puts a new slant on proceedings.Some really nice gorey effects coupled with some quality kills make this a pretty fun outing,just leave the brain in neutral.
6.5/10

Maniac Cop
Bill Lustigs early 80s slasher is a passable enough effort.Not all that violent particularly when measured against his more famous effort Maniac,its a formulaic enough movie about a vengeful cop killing every one and anyone.
5/10

Otis Driftwood

House on the Edge of the Park.
Legendary Cannibal Holocaust director Ruggero Deodatas entry into the rape/revenge genre is passable enough.The story centres around Alex (David Hess) and his dim witted sidekick Ricky who invite themselves to a snobby party and proceed to rape,brutalize and generally act the maggot with the guests.The similarities with Last House on the Left are obvious,Hess more or less plagarises his performance as Krug but where Krug was a genuinely unlikeable and disturbing character,Alex comes across as almost cartoonesque.The Vipco and subsequent UK releases are shorn of around 11 minutes of the movie,mostly involving the rapes scenes.While somewhat graphic Id imagine that the main stumbling block is that the victims end up enjoying themselves and submit to the duo.We all know that the BBFC frowns upon this type of thing.Overall its a watchable enough grindhouse flick,just dont expect anything new.Also,if you feel the urge to get it,do go for the uncut version.I picked up the release from EC Entertainment a few years ago on ebay for a relatively small amount.
5.5/10

Otis Driftwood

Masters of Horror : The Black Cat
Stuart Gordons effort is pretty poor all in all.It centres on a struggling author by the name of Edgar Allen Poe and his attempts to write while dealing with his alcoholism and his wife's TB.Told in alot of dream sequences this is a bit of a mess from start to finish.Jeffery Combs as Poe is as watchable as ever though.
4/10

Masters of Horror : Valerie on the Stairs.
The story revolves around a young author trying to write a book.He moves into a guest house with other struggling writers and begins havign visions of a young woman but as the visions become more lucid,the truth is revealed.
Not a bad effort,some nice kills but it has a bit of a silly ending.
6/10

Otis Driftwood

Sella Turcica
Hot off the presses this is Toetag Pictures latest work.The story centres around Brad,a US army sergeant that gets injured on duty and ends up paralysed from the waist down.Brad gets sent home with no recollection of how he got injured.His condition quickly worsens and his body begins oozing a viscous black goo from every orifice.To say anymore would pretty much spoil the movie so I will stop there.

This is a big departure for the Toetag crew.Its well documented that Im a Toetag fanboy but I have to say I genuinely enjoyed this and it is IMO,their best work since The Redsin Tower.Those expecting a sick film are going to be disappointed.This is much more charector driven and is a slow burn that teases the audience with whats to come.Personally speaking Im glad to see they are moving away from the faux snuff genre,there is only so much mileage those types of movies can give and this is by far their most accomplished and polished work.Their stature is growing as movie makers,the fact they managed to get Camille (I Spit on your Grave) Keaton and Jade (Murder Set Pieces) Risser in 2 central roles is testament to this.

A special mention has to go to the effects work of Jerami Cruise.This film showcases his vast talent and the work is definitly the best he has come up with thus far,for the limited budget it is scary how realistic and effective the work is,all of which is made by him.

As expected the acting is a bit ham and cheesey with the exception of Damien Maruscak as Brad,he plays the role very well.

All in all this is a very enjoyable independent horror movie that really deserves to be seen by more people than it probably will be.

8/10

Otis Driftwood

I watched the original Omen Trilogy over the last week or so and I really liked all 3.Anything with creepy kids is usually decent for myself and the first 2 are no different,the score,particularly in the first one is exceptional.The ending of part 3 was a big let down and the series wnded with a whimper rather than a bang however there is a cool shotgun to the head scene that eased the pain.

Over all 3 consistently good flicks.

8/10

Otis Driftwood

The Collector.
Pretty much in the same clone as the Saw franchise this is a predictible home invasion horror saved from total medioctity by some rather nice gore effects.

Centres on a guy that breaks into a supposedly empty house to steal a rare gem only to find (shock horror) that there is a mad man there torturing the inhabitants.

Ridiculous booby traps abound(although there is a cool scene with some acidy stuff),dodgy acting and retarded cast members make this a passable beer and a pizza film.I expect to see a sequel been made before too long.

5.5/10 if only for the gore.

Otis Driftwood

Ghost Ship

Gabriel Byrne stars in this as a salvager that gets information about a ship at sea so him and his crew set off to investigate.

This movie is rubbish.Dire special effects (mostly piss poor CGI),dire acting,dire dialogue,devoid of tension/scares,everything is rubbish.Avoid.

2/10

Otis Driftwood

Carrie
Brian De Palma's adaptation of the Stephen King novel is one of the best King transfers there is.Sissy Spacek excells as the alienated and bullied teenager with psychic powered.Piper Laurie is also excellent as her bible bashing mother.Bit of trivia that Nancy Allen who is the lead female bully in the film plays Robocops partner Officer Lewis.
8/10

Otis Driftwood

Rec 2

This sequel takes place 20 minutes after the first movie ends and follows a SWAT team and an environmental officer as they enter the building to try and find out what happened.

Id heard this described as Aliens is to Alien and thats a pretty good description.More "zombies",much quicker paced and much more enjoyable imo that Rec.Decent action,some nice kills,some genuinely creepy and jumpy scenes make this as good a horror sequel as you are likely to see.Ive heard alot of people slating the cause of the outbreak and while its a bit silly its something new and different which I can appreciate.

All in all an enjoyable 80 minutes viewing.

8/10


I Spit On Your Grave (2010)
As some of you know,I abhor remakes.They are generally of movies I would regard as being genre classics so it causes me no small amount of annoyance.

Not such this one though as I really dont like the original ISOYG.

Story is about a pretty young author that goes to a remote cabin in the woods to work on a novel but falls foul of the cliched "back woods" folk - beer swilling,working in a garage and with a mentally retarded side kick.

The original ISOYG is a poorly shot rape revenge movie,the remake is a glossily shot rape revenge movie,both of them equally worthless.

Thankfully the rape scene isnt overly graphic and most happens off screen.The kills,while kinda inventive are horribly convoluted and would fit seemlessly into a Saw movie.

All in all,a waste of over 100 minutes.

Avoid.

3/10

mbv

Thanks for that.. the whole idea of the remake to isoyg is horrific..same as last house. These movies were cheap and nasty. Glossy remakes really ruin that sleaze factor

SteoL

I actually hated the original ISOYG but had heard (surprisingly) good things about the remake. Have no real interest in seeing it but the good reviews came from a fellow with very similar taste to myself.

Otis Driftwood

Martyrs
Watched it today for the first time in about 2 years.While it lacks the punch it gave me on first viewing (because I knew what was going to happen) this is still an exceptional horror movie.Brutal violence and its really edge of your seat stuff.I urge anyone that hasnt seen it to track it down.
9/10

The Descent
Ive often wondered why so many people cite this as being a brilliant horror movie.I wasnt gone on it when I watched it first and I wasnt gone on it when I watched it the other night.There is some nice gore in it but for me its devoid of any tension and was a let down.
5.5/10

Otis Driftwood

Black Devil Doll
Story about a 60s black militant turned serial killer who gets executed for his crimes but ends up having his spirit transported into a puppet,becoming the black devil doll.
This is pure cheese from start to finish.Rubbish acting,ropey effects but at the same time its strangely enjoyable.Lots of gratuitous nudity too.At about 75 minutes long it doesnt outstay its welcome and is actually pretty funny in places too.
6.5/10

Otis Driftwood

Cabin Fever 2
Follow up that takes place directly after the original movie and even features a cameo from Rider Strong.The contaminated water makes it to a small town during prom,loads of people get infected.Cue lots of carnage and a military operation to quarantine the school.

I really like the original Cabin Fever.It is an under rated little gross out horror that doesnt rely on effects alone to get a reaction and actually has some pretty tense scenes and feels pretty claustrophobic where as part 2 relies solely on effects to get a reaction which I found a bit strange considering its directed by Ti (House of the Devil) West.Winston (the young cop in the first movie) also makes a return.I liked him in the first one as he wasnt in it all that much and when he was it was good fun,this time around though he gets alot of screen time and he does get tiresome.

What it lacks in tension it makes up for in effects and there are some really sick moments in it.You know the type of scene that makes you put your hand to your mouth and laugh its that gross,lots of those moments.:D

Not a great movie by any stretch but its only 80 odd minutes long and worth watching for the gooey effects.

6.5/10

Not to hijack your thread or anything but the Ti West and Cabin Fever 2 is one of Hollywoods oldest stories. After submitting his initial cur, the one he was happy with and the producers had backed him over it was decided that the producers wanted a reedit. West walked, stating that the cut he deliver was his cut. The producers wanted something more comical and brought in John Waters editor to help add punch to the punch lines. Supposedly it's about 90% Footage shot and edit by West with the ending being the major change. West. Has said that while 90% of his footage may have been used the way the gags play out are not the way he wanted them to.

Otis Driftwood

Fright Night (85)

You all know the story at this stage.Strange man moves in beside a teenage horror movie fan and the boy begins to suspect his new neighbour is a vampire.

I hadnt seen this in a number of years and had fond memories of it so was expecting to be kinda disappointed with it.I was wrong.This movie is as enjoyable as I remember.Chris Sarandon plays Jerry with an icy menace.Charley is excellent as the geeky teen that nobody will believe but for me Roddy McDowell is the star of the show with his turn as the aging vampire hunter movie star Peter Vincent.You really believe his charector and he plays it just on the right side of camp.

Another thing I love about this flick is the little touches.Like when Jerry is in Charleys mothers room and walks towards the door,the camera is firmly focused on him however just out of the corner of your eye you can see a mirror that obviously doesnt show his reflection being a vampire.Little things like that elevate movies from mediocre to very good as is the case with this.

Ive been humming and hawing about seeing the remake but after watching this again,I have no desire to have it sullied by Colin fúckin Farrell et al.

Anyone that hasnt seen this Id urge you to do so,it can be picked up online for 3 or 4 quid.

8.5/10

Otis Driftwood

My Bloody Valantine (81) Uncut.
Id never seen the uncut version of this til tonight.Id seen the theatrical cut late night on I believe the BBC many years ago so was curious to watch it again.Its a typical slasher style story - tragic event a number of years ago causes a deranged killer to go on a rampage.

It is what it is and I found it enjoyable in a cheesy,very 80s way.Nothing groundbreaking but a fun way to spend 90 minutes.I have to say,the gore scenes that were cut were most of the gore from the movie so I will not watch it ever in cut form.The problem with the gore scenes being integrated is that they look integrated because they arent as polished as the rest of the movie however it doesnt matter as there are some cool deaths including a rather impressive pick axe under the chin job.

Worth tracking down for some lovely extras on the disc including a nice interactive history of the horror movie.I dont believe this ever got a region 2 release but the region 1 version should be easy enough to track down.

7.5/10

Otis Driftwood

Curfew
Two escaped cons go on a killing spree and break into the house of the DA that got them the death penalty.

This movie is terrible.Rubbish acting,rubbish kills and its chock full of horror movie cliches.The precocious teen,the brothers - one mentally enfeebled,one a sadist,the stuffy locals,the dumb local cop.Its just crap from start to finish.

2/10

The Descent 2
I found the first movie terribly over rated.Its not bad but I struggle to see why so many herald it as a great movie.

Anyway,this picks up 2 days after the first movie with a search party looking for the missing women.Sarah appears suffering from apparent amnesia having escaped from the cave only to be forced to go back down by a daft sheriff type :rolleyes:

Its an ok sequel to an ok movie.Some decent gore in it,no scares or tension though.I did like the ending however.Ive spent worse time watching a sequel.

6/10

Otis Driftwood

John Carpenters Vampires

I love this film.Its about a band of Vatican sanctioned/financed vampire slayers that travel around the South coast of the US killing vampires.All but two of the group get massacred by Valek the original vampire so its up to James Woods and Daniel Baldwin to stop him.

This is the perfect antidote to Twilight.Lots of blood and gore,some bad ass actors and vampires and a decent enough plot line.Great fun from start to finish.

8/10

Laid to Rest

Low budget slasher fare about a woman that wakes up in a coffin and gets terrorised by a masked killer.It doesnt do anything new,the acting is kinda ropey but thats what slasher homages should be like.It never takes itself too seriously and it has some truly outstanding SFX work.Thoroughly enjoyable 80s horror throw back.

7.5/10

Hobo With A Shotgun

Another installment in the recent Grindhouse tributes spawned by Planet Terror + Death Proof this movie is tremendous.Movie legend Rutger Hauer plays the central role as a drifter that winds up in the worst city in America.Sick of the crime he sees and the cops not giving a damn he buys a shotgun and sets about delivering justice one shell at a time.

This movie plays out like a Troma movie in some respects.There are some really great bad taste moments like a school bus full of kids getting flame throwered or a paedo in a Santa outfit as well so some fantastic OTT kills and gore.

Its a laugh from beginning to end and if the makers can continue creating films like this then I will be a fan for life.

8/10

Death Proof
I really dont know why this movie gets so much hate.It is of course the much weaker half of the QT + Rodriguez Grindhouse double feature but that doesnt mean its not perfectly passable nonsense.

Kurt Russel plays Stuntman Mike,a sociapath that likes to murder people with his car.Its a little slow in places but the chase scenes are very well choreographed and its kinda funny in places.

I do think it suffered horrendously from being stretched from 45/50 minutes long to over 100 minutes long but its a grand bit of throwaway entertainment.

6/10

Otis Driftwood

From Beyond

80s horror from Re-Animator maker Stuart Gordon it stars Jeffery Combs as a scientist that is working on a machine that can help people develop a sixth sense but things go wrong when strange creatures appear and kill his co-worker.

Id never seen this before but vividly remember seeing the cover art in the video store many moons ago.Some cool effects and transformations,some nice gore too.Not on a par with Re-Animator but good fun none the less.

6.5/10

Otis Driftwood

The Burning

80s slasher about a prank gone wrong when a bunch of teenagers in a summer camp accidentally set fire to the care taker.He comes back a few years later,badly disfigured and begins to take revenge on a new bunch of teens.

Pretty standard slasher fare,some nice kills,the usual top notch effects from Tom Savini and some gratuitous nudity.It doesnt do anything new in terms of plot but its worth watching for the gore.

7/10

Otis Driftwood

Singapore Sling
Early 90s sleaze about a detective that becomes obsessed with a murdered girl that he is convinced is still alive.He ends up falling foul of a mother and daughter duo who would rival Josef Fritzel with their carry on.Chock full of incest,BDSM,torture and other general weirdness,its still a pretty boring movie.The narrative is pretty odd in that it flips between the detective narrating to the mother or daughter speaking directly to the screen with some scenes told in flashback.

As strange a movie that Ive seen in a long long time.

6/10