You are not a f*cking DJ. You’re an overpaid, untalented, cake-throwing c*nt.

jtsuited

oh there's no doubt at this stage that he knows well what will get the lulz, what with him being an actual millionaire out of being the butt of one big joke.

But if you go through all of the Pilkington stuff, you start to realise that it's not that he's quick or witty with the lines, it's just that they're an insight into his understanding of the world.
He is incapable of seeing the big picture, and up until Ricky and Steve came along, hadn't a bog's notion of how the world works. The comedy comes from Karl being bombarded with the realities of the universe but his failure to grasp them in a realistic context.

Like in his understanding of Evolution, he still doesn't grasp the fact that there's no guiding force. He doesn't understand why evolution can give giraffes long necks but not wings to fly.

That's what I love about the whole thing. His years of blissful ignorance have meant he struggles with even the most basic concepts.

Like when he was told about Newton coming up with the theory of gravity after an apple falling on his head, he asks 'why wasn't he at work?'. Or when he asks 'Socrates, like, what was his er, job?'
He can't see anything outside of the framework of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home, and occasionally going on a holiday.

jtsuited

joker77 wrote: »

The crow one is definitely very freaky, as are they in general. There were a pair of huge ones in the back garden for a few days recently, very unpleasant looking chaps.

yeah they're evil looking fcukers. lovely to look at though, as most birds are pretty and majestic, whereas crows just look Machiavellian and menacing.

seannash

BaZmO* wrote: »

Haha. It would seem so, but in this case I think I'm right. I just think that it’s impossible to seem to be that stupid but always have the killer lines to go with it. It’s not possible to keep it up on a consistent basis. We all know stupid people that in spite of their idiocy are always very funny. With KP it’s contrived, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just mean he’s in on the joke.

I also think hes acting dumber than he is,which is all very well but it takes away from the show a little bit.Like the monkey news thing is obviously scripted.

Ive tried to block out those thoughts though as it makes the show a bit less funny.


As for House,its a good watch although as have been said the storylines are becoming a bit samey and the formula is predictable(strange life threatening symptoms that house diagnoses in the last few minutes despite objections from team)

Its the sub-plots and stories that feed the addiction t it though.
Hard to imagine anyone else but Hugh Laurie doing this role also.
Hes come along way since jeeves and wooster(which was the last thing i had seen him in before this)

Android 666

seannash wrote: »

Hard to imagine anyone else but Hugh Laurie doing this role also.
Hes come along way since jeeves and wooster(which was the last thing i had seen him in before this)

You mean you didn't see him in Stuart Little? He was simply devastating in the role of Stuart's father. Should have got the oscar…

BaZmO*

Went back to the gym after a years sabbatical. Thought I'd actually train at home. :rolleyes:

Anyway, straight onto to the bench press to get the aul pecs pumped!

Didn't realise how out of shape I was
on my last set I couldn't get the bar back on to the rack. Some guy had to run over to me to help.

OH YEAH!!! :cool:

SuprSi

BaZmO* wrote: »

Went back to the gym after a years sabbatical. Thought I'd actually train at home. :rolleyes:

Anyway, straight onto to the bench press to get the aul pecs pumped!

Didn't realise how out of shape I was
on my last set I couldn't get the bar back on to the rack. Some guy had to run over to me to help.

OH YEAH!!! :cool:

Hah that nearly happened to me once, but I had the safety things in place so avoided having to call someone over. Did he see you struggling or did you have to ask him?

BaZmO*

SuprSi wrote: »

Hah that nearly happened to me once, but I had the safety things in place so avoided having to call someone over. Did he see you struggling or did you have to ask him?

I knew that I'd probably fail on the last couple of reps...and I did. Ha. Got a bit of a wobble on the bar and then had to bring it back to my chest for a rest then I would’ve put it back on the bar. The guy must’ve seen the wobble and thought I was gonna kill myself so he came running over. Fairplay to him for being on the ball but I would’ve managed, mightn’t have looked like that at time, but I’ve managed in the past.

Probably shouldn’t have been pushing so hard on the first day back mind.

joker77

BaZmO* wrote: »

I knew that I'd probably fail on the last couple of reps...and I did. Ha. Got a bit of a wobble on the bar and then had to bring it back to my chest for a rest then I would’ve put it back on the bar. The guy must’ve seen the wobble and thought I was gonna kill myself so he came running over. Fairplay to him for being on the ball but I would’ve managed, mightn’t have looked like that at time, but I’ve managed in the past.

Probably shouldn’t have been pushing so hard on the first day back mind.

Was that today or yesterday? I'd imagine the auld pecs are fairly stiff if it was yesterday!

I'm sure you know this yourself, but don't try to lift what you were lifting a year ago, only going to lead to an injury.

I've started back doing squats after a long break, the next couple of days after doing them for the first time in a while can be interesting

SuprSi

Yeah squats have killed me in the past, DOMS for 3 - 4 days afterwards more or less stopping me from playing any sports. I accidently found out that if I run for 15 minutes or so on the treadmill after a session with squats that I get hardly any DOMS, which means I can do the squats on a weekly basis now.

BaZmO*

joker77 wrote: »

Was that today or yesterday? I'd imagine the auld pecs are fairly stiff if it was yesterday!

It was yesterday so yeah they're starting to get sore now. Although it'll be worse tomorrow, but it's a pain I don't mind.

joker77 wrote: »

I'm sure you know this yourself, but don't try to lift what you were lifting a year ago, only going to lead to an injury.

Ah God no. I’d never try to lift something that I was lifting over a year ago (not that I’d be able to, Ha). Always takes a while to get back up to speed after a break. I’m always really careful though when it comes to curls, learned my lesson on that one many times. Being unable to straighten your arms for a week is no fun. It’s hard not to push yourself on the bench press though.

joker77 wrote: »

I've started back doing squats after a long break, the next couple of days after doing them for the first time in a while can be interesting

DOMS after squats is a killer, especially trying to walk downstairs.

On the subject of injuries, the only injury I’ve ever had while lifting was when I was just starting out years ago and I was doing squats on a Smith Machine trying to lift too much. Did my back in which wasn’t nice. Later found out that you shouldn’t really do squats in a Smith Machine.

SuprSi

BaZmO* wrote: »

Being unable to straighten your arms for a week is no fun.

That reminds me of when I first got back into the gym around 3 years ago. I'd made a routine based on an articleI read in a magazine and went all out on it for two days, before taking a break. I had no idea how much pain I was due to experience but needless to say I couldn't straighten my arms, turn my shoulders, even touch my chest without being in agony. I couldn't sleep properly and I more or less had to sit on the couch for nearly 2 weeks before things returned to normal. I must have done some serious damage.

Lesson learned though.

BaZmO*

SuprSi wrote: »

That reminds me of when I first got back into the gym around 3 years ago. I'd made a routine based on an articleI read in a magazine and went all out on it for two days, before taking a break. I had no idea how much pain I was due to experience but needless to say I couldn't straighten my arms, turn my shoulders, even touch my chest without being in agony. I couldn't sleep properly and I more or less had to sit on the couch for nearly 2 weeks before things returned to normal. I must have done some serious damage.

Lesson learned though.

Haha. I shouldn't laugh, but I know that feeling. It's so easy to go hammer and thongs with a new routine. 2 steps forward and 10 steps back.

I doubt you would've done any damage though, well not unless you were using bad form. More than likely just a seriously bad case of Doms.

joker77

SuprSi wrote: »

Yeah squats have killed me in the past, DOMS for 3 - 4 days afterwards more or less stopping me from playing any sports. I accidently found out that if I run for 15 minutes or so on the treadmill after a session with squats that I get hardly any DOMS, which means I can do the squats on a weekly basis now.

Yea I've been there when I started out, 3-4 days of agony as Bazmo says going downstairs is the worst. Ah yea - stay away from that Smith machine, unnatural ranges of movement, they're bad news full stop.

I'd completely gotten used to the squats though - was doing the starting strength program which has you doing squats 3 times a week. Got up to about 100Kgs x3x5, wouldn't get any DOMS after it.

After having not done them really in nearly a year I'd say, went back 3 weeks ago and just did the bar with no weights for a few sets, so 20Kgs. Next couple of days had the DOMS! F*ck sake...

Android 666

SuprSi wrote: »

That reminds me of when I first got back into the gym around 3 years ago. I'd made a routine based on an articleI read in a magazine and went all out on it for two days, before taking a break. I had no idea how much pain I was due to experience but needless to say I couldn't straighten my arms, turn my shoulders, even touch my chest without being in agony. I couldn't sleep properly and I more or less had to sit on the couch for nearly 2 weeks before things returned to normal. I must have done some serious damage.

Lesson learned though.

Is it okay to laugh at this story?

SuprSi

Android 666 wrote: »

Is it okay to laugh at this story?

Yeah, it's ok, I'm over it now I was walking around like a real-life Mr. Burns though, all hunched up. Even answering the phone was an ordeal - moving my whole torso closer to the phone so that I wouldn't have to straighten my arms to pick up the handset. Without a doubt the most painful thing I've ever had to endure.

seannash

Lads,today i achieved something we all aspire to do in life

I got a hole in one in pitch and putt!

What made it better was that I had 5 witnesses who can now verify my story when I use it in public.

twas epic

BaZmO*

Well done.

SuprSi

Deadly, well done - I've never had one. Been close a few times, and saw another person get one, but never had one.

Is mise le key

SuprSi wrote: »

Without a doubt the most painful thing I've ever had to endure.

More painfull than the comedown after a 48hour party!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Nah....i think not:D

seannash wrote: »

Lads,today i achieved something we all aspire to do in life

I got a hole in one in pitch and putt!

What made it better was that I had 5 witnesses who can now verify my story when I use it in public.

twas epic

I got a hole in one once in pitch & putt, but unfortunatley it doesnt count as where you would have had the flag in sight & were actually aiming for the target, i was hitting blind up to the top of a hill in bohernabreena P&P club where you cant even see the flag & holed it:eek:

Not as good as yours but i was chuffed all the same:D

ianuss

seannash wrote: »

Lads,today i achieved something we all aspire to do in life

I got a hole in one in pitch and putt!

What made it better was that I had 5 witnesses who can now verify my story when I use it in public.

twas epic

C'mon man - it's pitch 'n' putt. Do it on a golf course and I'll be impressed.

ianuss

joker77 wrote: »

have started Boardwalk Empire last night

Brilliant show.

old gregg

anyone else catch the show finale of the Inbetweeners last night?
I'd enjoyed the first 2 seasons but felt it was drying up this year and after 6 episodes of S03 it's finished until the movie.

seannash

ianuss wrote: »

C'mon man - it's pitch 'n' putt. Do it on a golf course and I'll be impressed.

Ive never played golf so ive never tried to do it on a golf course.

Ive no real interest in golf to be honest although the other players today all play golf regularly but i still beat them.

So we can safely say i would rock at golf because i beat them:)

Zascar

Fair play Sean, apparently odds of getting one are about 12,000 to 1!

seannash

Zascar wrote: »

Fair play Sean, apparently odds of getting one are about 12,000 to 1!

Sad to say its been the highlight of my week:D:(

jtsuited

Zascar wrote: »

Fair play Sean, apparently odds of getting one are about 12,000 to 1!

In golf they're around 12500/1 for an amateur and something like 3000/1 for a pro. In pitch and putt I'd say they're absolutely nothing like those figures.

Fair play Sean nonetheless!

seannash

jtsuited wrote: »

In golf they're around 12500/1 for an amateur and something like 3000/1 for a pro. In pitch and putt I'd say they're absolutely nothing like those figures.

Fair play Sean nonetheless!

When i tell people about it ill go with Zascars figures:D

jtsuited

ianuss wrote: »

C'mon man - it's pitch 'n' putt. Do it on a golf course and I'll be impressed.

I hit an albatross on a 460 yd par 5 before. Impressed??:D

I actually did. I was about 19 at the time and it was probably the jammiest thing I've ever done (I had no intention of hitting the pin at all but it got the luckiest bounce of all time off an overly dry fairway).

But the strangest thing happened 2 years to the day (it was June 24th) later.

Playing poker in the Gutshot in London, was telling people about the golf incident and got involved in a massive multiway pot in a cash game......I had KK, 4 of us saw a flop with the pot already at about 400 sterling (lots of raising, straddling and general messing preflop), flop came K 8 8, one guy bets pot, I push my remaining 800 (I had been playing for hours in this 1/2/5 optional straddle game that had gone completely mental with degenerate gamblers blind straddling so that every pot was friggin monster).

So yeah, tank the lot in and so do the two other guys in the hand, at which point I nearly die because one of them has clearly flopped quads and I'm fairly sure the other guy is just drawing dead on some bogey flush draw.

It's times like these you just wish you were wrong. but of course because two of us were all in, I said we should flip em over just for fun but really because I reckon I can tilt the flush drawing goon more by doing so and not letting him muck after showdown.

Tbf to them, they both showed immediately and there they were, feckin snowmen (and yes the other guy was on a sh1te draw). The guy beside me who I'd been telling the golf story to asked the dealer to hold on a second and asked if anyone had had a King. He was some weird Asian gambler who insisted that I was 'gonna get rucky. wery wery rucky'. Nobody answered and so I was drawing to the case King. Blank on River. Well ya all know what happened next. I hit the feckin case king. I've never felt so lucky in my life.
I never thought after the golf incident, I'd ever feel as lucky again, but for that to happen 2 years later to the day was just insane. But such is probability. Ever hear about that guy that got hit by lightning like 10 times in his life?

Android 666

jtsuited wrote: »

But such is probability. Ever hear about that guy that got hit by lightning like 10 times in his life?

Its not probability my child, it's God gently nestling you, a wayward child, on his bosom of good fortune. Lightning man is a dick though and God delights in using him as a fork in the celestial sockets on heaven's skirting board.

And hitting an albatross. For shame. Don't go on any boat trips soon. Have you not heard what happened Iron Maiden?

old gregg

Great story jtsuited. Did all that actually happen or are you flexing your literary muscles in the tradition of Chandler?