How do you react to someone calling you ****** ?

kippy

I genuinely am disgusted with that type of behavior but also wonder why you make this assumption:
"from rural areas and are not used to er people like me"
Homosexuality isn't confined to the city dwellers you know.

Goodshape

I agree with Thead, don't much like the term 'Breeder' as a retaliation. It's stupidity vs. stupidity.



In the [thankfully] few occasions I've been name called I think I've either given them a condescending "oh, that's really clever" laugh or just just outright ignored them.

Red_Marauder

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think breeder is antongistic and it's a term I am a lot more reactionary about then arsehole.

Really/ I would have thought most people see the term breeder as a bit of a joke. I would doubt any reasonable human being actually takes serious offence to it.
In that regard, the accusation of 'breeder' underlines how comical or absurd the term fag itself is in turn.

Arsehole is just arsehole, it's just pointless name calling.

keepkeyyellow

kippy wrote: »

I genuinely am disgusted with that type of behavior but also wonder why you make this assumption:
"from rural areas and are not used to er people like me"
Homosexuality isn't confined to the city dwellers you know.

Well I have been told by friends that they just don't have people like me in Clare, where she's from anyway but like coming from the actual country I know well the close-mindedness of certain people.

I'm certainly not saying that all people from rural areas are homophobic, I'm just saying that the people who called me f/aggot just happened to be from rural areas.

Annasopra

One last warning - please refrain from bringing in stereotypes about rural people being homophobic

azezil

Red_Marauder summed it up nicely. It's a nonsensical / whimiscal reply to an equally stupid comment. :rolleyes:

stephen_n

I'm a breeder and I'm bi wow I can get insulted by both sides, oh the injustice of it all. Good thing I stopped worrying about stupid name calling roughly around the time I left the playground!

DubArk

stephen_n wrote: »

I'm a breeder and I'm bi wow I can get insulted by both sides, oh the injustice of it all. Good thing I stopped worrying about stupid name calling roughly around the time I left the playground!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!

But thats me!

Jimmynala

Im recently out and I have been called a f/aggot and other **** a few times. Now I'm not camp or anything but I think if people have any incling at all, depending on how narrow minded and ignorant they are, then they will run with it. I think the best thing to do is ignore it. It could turn ugly if you respond to it. But I hope it all works out mate

keepkeyyellow

Jimmynala wrote: »

Im recently out and I have been called a f/aggot and other **** a few times. Now I'm not camp or anything but I think if people have any incling at all, depending on how narrow minded and ignorant they are, then they will run with it. I think the best thing to do is ignore it. It could turn ugly if you respond to it. But I hope it all works out mate

The best response I think. Thanks.

unreggd

Just reply with "You wish!" and keep walkin

bahamadia

Being from a rural village in Wexford I've experienced the "metro, high-life" that Dublin has to offer and the not-so-metro low-life that Limerick has to offer.

Physical abuse - Dublin 2, Limerick 0. (just unlucky attacks late at night in the city centre - not gay hate attacks though)

Verbal abuse - Limerick 1, Dublin 0. (random boy racers shouting out there car windows at an ex and I while walking home from a night out)

Abuse is just as likely whereever you are.

Uni in Dublin vs. Uni in Limerick - Dublin trumps Limerick for acceptance and open-mindedness. I lived in res in Dublin for 3 years but I have to say that the other students were all very open minded and being gay was never seen as an issue in the college I was in - bear in mind everyone in res was from the country also. Limerick however has a very much underground gay scene and very little gay presence around town/campus. The majority of students in the uni are from surrounding counties and towns. Even though both res' have the same demographic mix the difference in attitudes between Dublin and Limerick is unreal.

In my personal opinion, when students start university generally they have an open mind. They adapt to what is the norm with their new friends and surroundings. Dublin is far more multicultural and diverse than Limerick. Everything goes up there. What they are exposed to shapes their opinions and views. Don't hide who you are. If gay/bi men and women are more visible it breaks down the views that certain people in the society have. And by being more visible I don't mean camping it up. I am open about my sexuality where I see fit but I don't scream from the roof tops. I'd like to think I help give gay men a good name.

Bottom line, I don't think it's right to say there is a difference between people from urban vs rural backgrounds. The difference comes from how open-minded someone is.

If I were you I'd report "an issue with homophobic remarks" to the campus/university. I wouldn't name names or point the finger. The best medicine you can give a bully is niceness. How bad would that guy feel if you turned around some other day and were really polite and nice to him. Don't give anyone ammo to fuel their mis-conceptions about gay men and women. If someone has a problem with a genuinely nice person then others will see through them and they'll end up the fool.

It pays to be nice.

DingosAteMyBaby

Last time this happened to me was after a night out in a fast food restaurant. Some drunk idiot started was being a prick to me so I told him where to go. He proceeded to say "Whatever F/AGGOT" and I laughed and said "Yeah I'm gay so the f*ck what? Your f*cking ugly and pathetic, my life is looking pretty good from where I'm standing":D

Then I squared up to him and my drunkeness got the better of me and I almost beat the living sh*t out of him but my friends dragged me away just in time. Needless to say next time I saw him he apoligised profusely:) Not that I'm advocating violence... but in this case it was enjoyable th show him and his friends (and even my friends) that just because I'm a "f/aggot" doesn't mean I won't kick your ass!

But usually a smart retort like my one puts them in their place and leaves them speechless. If you don't see it as a insult then they are left standing there blanky like the neanderthals they are!

scorpioishere

This people are obviously immature, stupid and doesn't have anything to do with their life than critisising others. If i was you i will tell them to **** off and mind their own business. If you are gay so what, its not the end of the world or its not other people ****ing business. Tell them to go and get a life.

Squaw Crow

I had a pretty similar experience- but it came from one of my roommates friends

At 3.00 in the morning he ran through my apartment hall calling my a dyke and a quote carpet 'cruncher' - *doesn't quite bear thinking about lol*.

It was the straw that broke the camels back and I called out my room mates, one of whom was a homophobic republican from the states.

It felt really good to finally stand up for my self and my sexuality after years of putting up with it in secondary school.

Don't ignore it - stand up for yourself and stand up to those intolerant insecure creatures

Links234

I don't respond to people like that at all. Don't see any sense in giving someone the reaction they're looking for.

DubArk

Squaw Crow wrote: »

..... a quote carpet 'cruncher'...... -

I think you mean a "Carpet Muncher!"

Squaw Crow

DubArk wrote: »

I think you mean a "Carpet Muncher!"

No i mean he called me a carpet cruncher - hence the ouch - looks like he got his homophobic slanders wrong lol

KnifeWRENCH

You should definitely try and ignore it. It isnt worth getting wound up by anyone stupid and ignorant enough to resort to that pathetic insult. Hopefully it'll never happen again.

40040D

keepkeyyellow wrote: »

I can't really complain to the res board because I haven't a clue who they are.

Make sure you find out who they are just in case !
or talk wth the student union.

When I do happen to get called a f/aggot or whatever I usually just laugh it off.

If it gets serious though I'll definitley stand up for myself, don't let people thing they can walk all over you just because you're LGBT.

Hope this all blows over for you though because these people are usually idiots and at the end of the day at least you know that you are better than them :P

Coeurdepirate

lepidopteria wrote: »

Ask yourself do you really care, calling you a f/aggot is just another word for calling you gay but since you already know that it's not like they are making any big revelation, it'd be like you trying to insult a straight person by calling them a "Hetro", it's a pointless insult because they are stating the obvious. The only reason they used the word "F/aggot" to get to you is because if it was them being called it they know it'd p*ss them off so are transfering how they'd react onto you but if you think about it it's only another word for gay now a days, it only really hurts if you let it, the only power words ever have is the power you assign to them, Queer use to be a hurtful word too until gay people took control of it, so what if people think you are a big fag? at least you are proud of it, sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you

Your logic is pretty stupid. F/aggot is a derogatory word, used to belittle gay people.
Would you write in a history exam "In World War II Hitler killed all of the filthy jews, f/aggots, n/iggers and retards" ?
Sure, you're giving the information, but do you think that it would be accepted and seen as "another word" for it?

By the way, if Hitler didn't kill some of those people then forgive me, I suck at History.

And by the way, I mean absolutely NO offense to Jewish people, gay people, black people and mentally challenged people.

Annasopra

Lepidopteria is banned from this forum as she was disruptive and identified herself as a previously banned poster

Coeurdepirate

Sorry, didn't know.

Annasopra

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Sorry, didn't know.

No need to be sorry

Nebit

if i was ever called a ******, i'd more than likely laugh. It really means nothing, and the more people fight it in my opinion, the worse the meaning. Besides people who say it really dont mean it most of the time.