CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS MANS FINANCIAL MESS???

chris85

by giving money to him which you probably dont have is just going to facilitate his lies and also may drag you into financial ruin.. I would imagine sooner rather than later he will ask you to get a loan to clear his debts it he hasnt asked already...

I have seen a lot of financial mess with people but this sounds like a bad case not becasuse of the money but his attitude. I have seen people in much more debt but not with this attitude.

Satts

How about getting him to read this thread, seeing his prediciment in black and white might get through to him.

He has to realise he is about to loose everything, including you.
If he gets angry reading this and refuses to change, it's time to bin him.

financialmess

Everybody is saying that I should consider finishing with him, something I'd never considered before, I can see why - I've never seen him in such a mess before, granted he was always bad at managing money (yet tight as f**k I might add), but as someone pointed out - its not so much his situation as his ATTITUDE, which I'll agree is utterly appaling.
He's doing nothing to dig himself out of this hole, only entering further into the poverty trap by paying these loans as if he were flush,
without regard to his family or to myself.

Another poster said they'd bet he has asked me to try get a loan FOR him and they guessed right, he strongly hinted at it when I was working,
asked me if I had any savings, had I ever been offered a card,
told me I should get one 'for online shopping' for myself,
said he'd 'help' me get one, it was easy, leaving leaflets all around the house for me to see, even 'dropped' a few in my car...I can see now what I didnt see then...
When someone is trying their best they deserve respect for trying.
I'm firing off CV's almost daily to get back working again and am studying part time to upskill. Its great to see people in their 30's and 40's doing the same, not giving up, yet looking at my Bf in a different light I can see there will be no change in him, he's even told me so, says he's going to do the exact same again when the time comes back around.
In the meantime he is wrapped in self pity and is only capable of worrying about HIMSELF. There is a selfishness now in him now that I never witnessed before. The word 'ultimatum' was used by someone replying to me and if there's one good thing a bit of unemployment gives you,
its time, to re-evaluate and to observe how a person reacts in financial difficulty. Im seriously giving this huge thought, if he will not come clean to creditors about being on the dole, get up off his arse and learn something or look for work , then that ultimatum will arise and I'll be gone.
Hope this thread might ring it home for someone else too.
thanks guys, good advice

Zulu

Can I ask: if was self-employed how is he drawing the dole? I understood self-employed people weren't entitled to the dole.

MagicMarker

Zulu wrote: »

Can I ask: if was self-employed how is he drawing the dole? I understood self-employed people weren't entitled to the dole.

He probably never told them.

I'm surprised they never copped that he's NEVER paid tax.

Zulu

MagicMarker wrote: »

He probably never told them.

I'm surprised they never copped that he's NEVER paid tax.

Unless he's a drug dealer, he'll have needed to set up a company. Revenue won't be long catching up with him - the government is strapped.

OP why whould you tolerate scum someone who doesn't pay tax, like him?

He put his hand into our pocket...

mathie

financialmess wrote: »

Hi Stepbar - MBNA is exactly right. They're absolutely relentless.
Some poster commented that the reason they might not have wanted to consolidate my Bf's cards could be cause he has the cards with VARIOUS lenders - nope - just MBNA. And they will not budge.
Was reading the megathread about the €18 million they owed customers
- one poster said she got 2 returned reimbursements
- 1 from a card she had 8 years ago...
whereas they're saying their mistakes only occurred from 2007-2009.
He has (well has made ME) write all correspondence to them and I've questioned them on that one - had any mistakes occurred on his accounts BEFORE 2007 and they have yet to answer that one.

As for "acting the hard man" - no such front at all - just an Iceland - somebody in their parliment said in an interview
"we should not have been trusted to handle these loans, we are a reckless and irresponsible nation, the British high street chains we bought into fell for it, all of Europe was fooled by us"
- or something very similar...and the people on the street laughed into the cameras when the quotation was put to them...

"well has made ME"

There's your problem right there.
You're his doormat.

He won't learn anything from his mistakes if you keep bailing him out.
Just like the banks being bailed out the lesson that you boyfrind and the banks have received is : be frivolous and take risks and there will be no punishment.

chris85

Ok guys self employed people can draw the dole. They are means tested for it generally.