Competition: Variations on a theme 3 (Cinderella)

pickarooney

The third installment of our themed short story competition is now underway. For details of previous contests, see here and here.

This time, we'll be revisiting a classic fairy tale, Cinderella.
Word limit is 1000, give or take, and submissions should be by PM, to me.

The closing date for competition entries is the 1st of June and I'll be accepting submissions via PM as of the 11th of May. Voting will run for a week after the closing date.

Once again, all votes must be accompanied by a post on the thread giving feedback to at least one of the stories, although obviously the more time you take to give your impressions the more the writers will benefit.

Please post in here with any queries on the competition itself.
Please do not post pieces directly in the thread.

Good luck!

Mr E

Thanks Pickarooney. I already have an idea in mind.

For the regulars here, don't forget to change your signatures to link to this thread.

ToasterSparks

Yep, changed my signature too.

This one should be interesting - the variation could be huge!

Daemos

So just to clarify, do we have to use the whole story as the skeleton, or can we pick one thing from it and write around that?

Also Starring LeVar Burton

What's the non-Disney version of Cinderella? I've forgotten most of it...

ToasterSparks

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

So just to clarify, do we have to use the whole story as the skeleton, or can we pick one thing from it and write around that?

I'm hoping and assuming that we can base our stories (very) loosely around the general story of Cinderella. Right??

pickarooney

CaptainNegative wrote: »

What's the non-Disney version of Cinderella? I've forgotten most of it...

The Charles Perrault version, which is probably the best known to children, is linked in the first post.

But it's just a version; yours can be only very slightly related to it.

Antilles

Apparently there's a Roald Dahl version that's quite fun too.

Miss Fluff

Do you give the opening paragraph this time or do we just write 1000 words loosely based around the story? Am having a blonde moment, please clarify!:)

Mr E

1000 words loosely around the story, Miss Fluff. It doesn't even have to follow the story - as long as it's cinderella themed in some way, it's valid.

pickarooney

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Do you give the opening paragraph this time or do we just write 1000 words loosely based around the story? Am having a blonde moment, please clarify!:)

It's never actually been the case that we give the opening paragraph, just a rough idea of the plot. In this case the plot is so well known that we've just said 'take Cinderella and do what you want with her'.

ToasterSparks

pickarooney wrote: »

It's never actually been the case that we give the opening paragraph, just a rough idea of the plot. In this case the plot is so well known that we've just said 'take Cinderella and do what you want with her'.

Disclaimer: Boards.ie, the Creative Writing forum and any moderators or message board members are not responsible for any damage or harm that happens to Cinderella now or into the future as a result of this competition.

angelll

ToasterSparks wrote: »

Disclaimer: Boards.ie, the Creative Writing forum and any moderators or message board members are not responsible for any damage or harm that happens to Cinderella now or into the future as a result of this competition.

pmsl,brilliant!

Matt Holck

The story's supposed to be longer than what's presented?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzyfcys1aLM

davyjose

Antilles wrote: »

Apparently there's a Roald Dahl version that's quite fun too.

For your reading pleasure.

It's genius!

I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed 'Help!' and 'Let me out!
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said: 'My dear, are you all right?'
'All right?' cried Cindy .'Can't you see
'I feel as rotten as can be!'
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, 'Get me to the Ball!
'There is a Disco at the Palace!
'The rest have gone and I am jealous!
'I want a dress! I want a coach!
'And earrings and a diamond brooch!
'And silver slippers, two of those!
'And lovely nylon panty hose!
'Done up like that I'll guarantee
'The handsome Prince will fall for me!'
The Fairy said, 'Hang on a tick.'
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted,'Heck!
I've got to run to save my neck!'
The Prince cried, 'No! Alas! Alack!'
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, 'Let me go!'
The dress was ripped from head to toe.

She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
'The girl this slipper fits,' he cried,
'Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I'll visit every house in town
'Until I've tracked the maiden down!'
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.

At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy's luck starts looking sicker.

Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner's feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters' go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, 'No!'
But she screamed, 'Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
'So now you've got to marry me!'
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, 'Let me out of here.'
'Oh no you don't! You made a vow!
'There's no way you can back out now!'
'Off with her head!'The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
'She's prettier without her head.'
Then up came Sister Number Two,
Who yelled, 'Now I will try the shoe!'
'Try this instead!' the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
'What's all the racket? 'Cindy cried.
'Mind your own bizz,' the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, 'Who's this dirty slut?
'Off with her nut! Off with her nut!'
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
'Cindy! 'she cried, 'come make a wish!
'Wish anything and have no doubt
'That I will make it come about!'
Cindy answered, 'Oh kind Fairy,
'This time I shall be more wary.
'No more Princes, no more money.
'I have had my taste of honey.
I'm wishing for a decent man.
'They're hard to find. D'you think you can?'
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after.

angelll

Think you meant to pm this to pickarooney?

Also Starring LeVar Burton

I'm after coming up with a whole freaking novel on this theme - guess I'll have to narrow it down to circa 1000 words...

ToasterSparks

I love the couple of days after we decide on a topic. I'm passively thinking about the topic and then *click* the story is created in my head! Just like that!

I'm looking forward to seeing the boards.ie versions of Cinderella!

Memnoch

I've finished mine, unfortunately it's 2k words. My choices are to either just post up the first half (as I don't think I can truncate it) it or leave it out of the comp and post it afterwards. Still it certainly got the old creative juices flowing again.

davyjose

Memnoch wrote: »

I've finished mine, unfortunately it's 2k words. My choices are to either just post up the first half (as I don't think I can truncate it) it or leave it out of the comp and post it afterwards. Still it certainly got the old creative juices flowing again.

I say post as it is. I'd rather someone post, and feel happy with that, than butcher their story, or abstain. Even if it's long.

Put it this way. People put a lot into writing these stories, and spend a lot of time keeping this awesome competition going. What's reading an extra thousand words compared to that? If someone can't be arsed reading all the stories, despite their length, I don't really value their vote.

That's my opinion.

angelll

But it won't be anon then will it? If 99% of the stories are 1000 words then it will be obvious which one is Memnochs.

davyjose

angelll wrote: »

But it won't be anon then will it? If 99% of the stories are 1000 words then it will be obvious which one is Memnochs.

never thought of that.

Matt Holck

dreams go tawdry in dirt encrusted spun lost hair and burnt matches
shafts of light exposed in the whirling dust reluctant to settle
throats are sore from breathing ash and grit
flames grow somber quickly after being lit

Memnoch

good point, maybe I shoulda just pm'd it to rooney without posting anything here.

pickarooney

I would have suggested changing the word limit if everyone was all right with that, as a couple of people have mentioned having longer stories in mind but I've already started getting entries and it wouldn't be fair to shift the goalposts now.

I suggest using bombs and helicopters to truncate the story. Or post the first half. If it's good people will still enjoy it and want more.

Antilles

I'm having a hell of a time coming up with a story for this one!

Its gonna be even worse when I see the quality of what other people will come up with, too.

Edit: Never mind, I got one!

Oryx

I had one story done and dusted, then had a change of heart about it, and now I have two. Decisions, decisions..

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Oryx wrote: »

I had one story done and dusted, then had a change of heart about it, and now I have two. Decisions, decisions..

Probably go with the best one - that will increase your chances of winning...

Oryx

CaptainNegative wrote: »

Probably go with the best one - that will increase your chances of winning...

Great idea! but.. How do I know which is the best one? I do know which one Ill submit, but might put the other up for opinion afterwards, along with the reason I changed it.

pickarooney

Alt account?

Also Starring LeVar Burton

pickarooney wrote: »

Alt account?

Boo...urns!!!

Don't be putting ideas in people's head's pickarooney... :rolleyes:

ToasterSparks

I was gonna suggest that, but then how many low-post account holders would enter the Competition?

Or, alternatively, some poor innocent newbie enters the competition, and everyone's like 'That is so sly Oryx, setting up an alternate account ... you are so BANNED!'.

Oryx

*holds up hands* Not guilty! Dont shoot!

Wouldnt think of it lads. Ill submit my best attempt (imo) and afterwards ye can tell me if the second one was better, worse or equally bad.

I didnt think it would be so hard to rejig cinderella, but shes a stroppy bird who dont like change. Both my stories are very loosely based on the original.

Also Starring LeVar Burton

I really have to start writing my story - the idea has been in my head for a week now...

ToasterSparks

Oryx wrote:

*holds up hands* Not guilty! Dont shoot!

Wouldnt think of it lads.

Haha, well I wouldn't have minded anyway, but maybe that's just me! Be sure to post the other version after the competition.

Captain Negative wrote:

I really have to start writing my story - the idea has been in my head for a week now...

Same here, I just need to sit myself down and get it out of my head. It's a little like assignment deadlines - you always plan to get it done early, but it inevitably ends up being done the night or two beforehand.

Antilles

pickarooney wrote: »

Alt account?

Yeah I should probably admit now that both the previous winners were my alts.

Sorry guys

pickarooney

By which I mean, I set up the Antilles account so I could use that to propagate my stories through its alts and vote for my... them... out.. oneself...

ToasterSparks

But seriously though, I'm Pickarooney and I set up this ALT account to be part of the Creative Writing forum revival, all the while having Antille's account which used other ALT accounts to win the Short Story Competitions.

How incredibly awesome am I? And yes it's true, only two other legitimate people besides me post in the Creative Writing section. I am omnipresent.

Blush_01

And while I'm getting it off my chest, I have to admit that really, the Creative Writing board is just me, exercising all my multiple personalities - I guess me posting this is redundant, but then again, I've seen fit to keep the facade up for the past few years, keeping it up a little longer can't hurt!

Also Starring LeVar Burton

Blush_01 wrote: »

And while I'm getting it off my chest, I have to admit that really, the Creative Writing board is just me, exercising all my multiple personalities - I guess me posting this is redundant, but then again, I've seen fit to keep the facade up for the past few years, keeping it up a little longer can't hurt!

not to burst your bubble, but I'm definitely here...

Oryx

This is all actually a massive experiment. There are no writers here, just an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards, trying to produce the works of shakespeare.

pickarooney

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

Memnoch

Is rose not as beautiful as a banana?

Antilles

Is it just me or has the forum gone really quiet? I think everybody that would be posting their writing is busy with this competition

Mr E

I've hit a bit of a wall with my story. I had a great idea up to a point (and its written up to that point), but I'm not sure how to end it.

And no, pickarooney, I'm not using explosions or a swat team.

Oryx

For a story that seems simple, it is remarkably hard to reinterpret in a fresh way. Thats why I junked my first idea, and it took ages to get the next.
Didnt think the forum was that quiet tho..

pickarooney

I came up with a few ideas but they all had a common theme of mental illness for some reason.

ToasterSparks

pickarooney wrote: »

I came up with a few ideas but they all had a common theme of mental illness for some reason.

Haha, like what? Are the ugly sisters part of her multiple personality disorder?

Also Starring LeVar Burton

I really should've written this a couple of weeks ago when I had a load of free time, rather than leaving it until this week, which is potentially going to be the busiest week I've had in several years... Hopefully will get a chance to get it done...

ToasterSparks

My story has been submitted! I was disappointed by how it translated from head to paper, but it'll have to do.

Fingers crossed I'll get at least one vote!

Babette

As a first-time poster I am wondering if this competition is open to everyone or regulars only?