Nosy co-worker. How to deal with?

dMaN24

Hello!

I've got an issue with a coworker, which could be compared to any famous tabloid. This person loooooves to collect gossip about everyone and everything. But completely shuts down if "the tables turn" so to speak.

This person has been named Curious George by one of the managers, so it's nothing new, really.

It's starting to interfere with MY work though. Let's say i'm training a new employee, and s/he asks ME a question, this person always cuts in (often with a perhaps doable solution, yet not correct.)

I've been venting this with a buddy, who just replies with "-Ignore it. You ignore that guy, and he finallly gives up"

It sometimes has gone so far that i'm discussing something personal with a collegue, and this guy cuts in. And as i said, he loves gossip, so in case something new has happened during a day off regarding someone else, he gladly spreads the word. "-What i am going to tell you, you cannot tell anyone else."

Five minutes later i hear him say the very same thing to another collegue.

I've also noticed some attempts to gather the attention from the rest of us. as in... "-Oh no, what.. No they didn't.."
Trying to then make us ask what he's on about.

At first i really didn't pay any attention to it, but nowadays i feel that if i'm at a party or somewhere around him on my spare time, i really have to watch my tongue.

I have confronted him about this (albeit a bit drunk the both of us) and his reply was "-But i'm no talking about you, am i?"

So. How do one deal with this? Should i just try my best to completely ignore him, or what?

Mary Hairy

Keep telling him tall stories. He will soon get a reputation for telling absolute nonsense.You need to start setting him up.

jimoc

Tell him that you overheard the MD confirming his appointment at the STD clinic. 10 minutes later watch the co-worker fill a box with his personal belongings and leaving the office.
Problem solved

Ophelia7

Your co worker clearly is very sad and has no life of his own so he has to talk about others. If he is talking about others you can safely bet he is doing it to you too. The other replies are good advice, tell him tall stories to make him look like a dick and try ignore the rest. He sounds like a liar and a nasty gossip. Just remember the next time he starts that he is a sad, lonely queen who needs to talk about other people because he has no life and at the end of the day who would want to be near that!

I've worked with a guy like that too and I'm so glad I'm away from him now! He was married and clearly as gay as christmas but felt the need to drag everyone else down and caused so much serious trouble to keep the heat off him.

If you hear anything about yourself back tell him you will have him for slander, that might get him to cop on

Denimgirl

If he says anything to you about a co worker just say I'm not being bad but i don't get involved in office gossip I have a life I just come here to work and go home!I said that to a past coworker coz i was fed up with her bitching about everybody and trying to drag me into it!and it worked!! she soon shut up and no doubt she was bitching about me but i did'nt care coz she had'nt the balls to say it to me face but least i got some peace in work!

John Mason

hmmm, do you work with me?

we have one of these in our office, he even know how many times i fill my glass with water and if i dont fill the right amount of times he will come down and ask me if something is wrong, as i only had 5 glasses today instead of 8:eek:

anyway, my way of dealing with him is completely utterly blanking him, he doesnt exist in my world at all, i dont even acknowledge him when he says hello, about 70% of the people in my office have found this to be successful.

shoegirl

dMaN24 wrote: »

It's starting to interfere with MY work though. Let's say i'm training a new employee, and s/he asks ME a question, this person always cuts in (often with a perhaps doable solution, yet not correct.)

I've been venting this with a buddy, who just replies with "-Ignore it. You ignore that guy, and he finallly gives up"

We've a guy who butts into other people's conversations with "what's up?" and offers unasked for "advice", we find just completely ignoring the interjections eventually stopped them entirely.

I would imagine that if your colleague is constantly earwigging onto everybody elses conversations, he doesn't have enough work to do. Maybe try and get some passed his/her way.

Aglomerado

Some of my colleagues are nosey about my personal life, so I feed them lies and / or nonsense. For example:

Colleague: Did you buy a house on your own?
Me: Yes.
Colleague: Jayssssus! Where did you get the money for that???????
Me: (Thinks: Go to a bank, fill in some forms, y'dope) I am independently wealthy. I only work here for fun.
Colleague: Sure ya are.
Me: (Smirks)
Colleague: Where exactly in ****ville is your house anyway?
Me: You know the main road into the town?
Colleague: Yeah!
Me: And you see about three new housing estates with about 100 houses in total?
Colleague: Yeah!
Me: Well, it's one of them.
Colleague: Oh.

I've also been on the receiving end of slightly more subtly posed questions devised with the intention of determining my sexual orientation (Since I don't have kids, or wear a wedding ring, I MUST be a lesbian :rolleyes:)

I generally keep conversation topics to Desperate Housewives / the News etc if one of these people is close by, rather than what I did at the weekend/ who I socialise with.

Keep them guessing!

shoegirl

Aglomerado wrote: »

I've also been on the receiving end of slightly more subtly posed questions devised with the intention of determining my sexual orientation (Since I don't have kids, or wear a wedding ring, I MUST be a lesbian :rolleyes:)

A lot of my colleagues get that too, not a problem for me, since I do actually bat for the other team and don't pretend otherwise.

Mrs OBumble

Aglomerado wrote: »

I've also been on the receiving end of slightly more subtly posed questions devised with the intention of determining my sexual orientation (Since I don't have kids, or wear a wedding ring, I MUST be a lesbian :rolleyes:)

....

Keep them guessing!

I rather enjoy going into new workplaces and conspicuously using non-gender-specific pronouns.

However sometimes it backfires: I'm actually straight, but have had emotional lesbian colleagues pouring out their woes to me after assuming I was one of their community. Oops!

Aglomerado

JustMary wrote: »

I rather enjoy going into new workplaces and conspicuously using non-gender-specific pronouns.

I do too. I mostly use, "We", "My friend/s". I don't see why people I don't particularly like should know everything about me. Especially since I used to go out with a fella (also discreet!) from another department at work, I didn't want to reveal too much on that front to certain people.

A lot of my apparently single male colleagues get labelled as gay too, especially if they're quiet, and I've overheard the "Is he/ Isn't he" conversations.

3DataModem

Solution is as suggested above.... Tell bullsh1t stories that "you overheard" and watch them repeat them.

Eg you heard the company spends more on printer ink than salaries, the MD is married and Ronan Keating was his best man, etc.