Funny Signs

dak

In a butcher shop window: "Never a bum steer."

On a diaper service truck: "Rock a dry baby."
On a divorce lawyer's wall: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back."
At a lumberyard: "Come see, come saw."
On a plumber's truck: "A royal flush beats a full house."
At the tire store: "We skid you not!"
On a septic tank pump truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
On a septic tank pump truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business."
Over a gynecologist’s office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."
On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
At a pizza shop: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On a plastic surgeon's office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a propane filling station: "Thank heaven for little grills."
At a radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
In a pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."