Help! I'm at the end of my tether!

ztoical

ztoical wrote: »

Sorry hon but it did sound racist cus the persons nationality had little to do with your issue. You've never lived next door to Irish people who made noise at 2 in the morning? The fact that your neighbour is/was Indian has nothing to do with it, they were just loud. If we're going to go down the race line the Irish have a rep overseas for being loud late at night. I've had people warn me about being quite after 10 in France and Germany even when I wasn't making noise cus they explained every time they'd Irish people staying they would be really loud singing and chatting till all hours of the night.

And WHERE did I say that? In response to someone who said other nationalities tend to be louder than the Irish, I said I have an Indian neighbour who has told me 'people speak louder in India' when I knocked on his door to complain about the noise. I think that's quite a pathetic excuse, and I do think that, when in Rome, live as the Romans do. Basically I don't care what's normal in India because I have not chosen to live in India! Where did I say this is the ONLY reason for noise? Where did I say I haven't had other annoying neighbours? Where did I say Irish people aren't loud abroad? All these things are irrelevant to this discussion. I'm simply saying that claiming that Nigerians etc are naturally louder than the Irish, is stupid. THAT, in fact, is playing the race card.
:rolleyes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_card

It doesn't matter whether the neighbour is Nigerian or Polish or Irish, she should not be speaking at a volume which wakes the neighbours at 5.30 a.m.

Chinafoot

[quote=[Deleted User];65925638]

It doesn't matter whether the neighbour is Nigerian or Polish or Irish, she should not be speaking at a volume which wakes the neighbours at 5.30 a.m.[/QUOTE]

Jesus, unclench.


The point that has been disregarded once again is that there is a good chance this is down to the building itself. If you have any experience of the housing estates that went up during the boom you'll be aware of how poorly built a lot of them are and you can literally hear normal level conversations through the walls.

A discussion between the OP and her neighbour would be the sensible thing to do. Making ignorant assumptions about language ability and hammering on walls isn't.

Zamboni

[quote=[Deleted User];65925638]In response to someone who said other nationalities tend to be louder than the Irish, I said I have an Indian neighbour who has told me 'people speak louder in India' when I knocked on his door to complain about the noise. I think that's quite a pathetic excuse, and I do think that, when in Rome, live as the Romans do. [/QUOTE]

You think it's a pathetic excuse to be able to live what you consider a normal life in your own dwelling?
Tell me how do you define what is an 'acceptable' noise level?
We live in a multicultural society. Deal with it.

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

Jesus, unclench.


The point that has been disregarded once again is that there is a good chance this is down to the building itself. If you have any experience of the housing estates that went up during the boom you'll be aware of how poorly built a lot of them are and you can literally hear normal level conversations through the walls.

A discussion between the OP and her neighbour would be the sensible thing to do. Making ignorant assumptions about language ability and hammering on walls isn't.

What are you on about? I know this. I simply said that the woman being from another country is not an excuse to be loud, and that it is stupid for people to make this excuse for her. I'm well aware that Nigerians speak English and I would have gone straight round to tell her she was waking me up every day.

Zamboni wrote: »

You think it's a pathetic excuse to be able to live what you consider a normal life in your own dwelling?
Tell me how do you define what is an 'acceptable' noise level?
We live in a multicultural society. Deal with it.

Condescending much? I grew up in Manchester, my family is Italian, I've lived in a multicultural society all my life. That's my ENTIRE point, where someone is from is irrelevant. This is NOT India or Rome or Seoul, so saying 'well we speak more loudly in X place' is irrelevant to someone who is just trying to get to sleep. How on earth are you blowing it that far out of proportion? An acceptable noise level is one which does not impact on the life of your neighbours. Talking loudly at 2am in an apartment with paper thin walls is not acceptable. I DON'T CARE if it's acceptable in India, I live in London and I live in a building with noise regulations stating that there is to be no 'excessive noise' between 11pm and 7am. If my neighbour does not wish to respect the fact that having noisy family gatherings at all hours is not normal or acceptable here, then he shouldn't be living here. I spent time in a country where even normal talking on a bus was frowned upon and I adjusted my behaviour accordingly. I used to live in Spain where noise is much more tolerated, and so I did not go knocking on my neighbour's door because *I* was the guest in *their* country. Since when did it become acceptable to go to another country and ignore the norms there? Multicultural societies only work when people respect each other, and keeping people awake at night is not respectful.

Have you never heard of 'your rights end where the rights of another begin?' That's how I see things. You could argue that people have the right to make noise in their flat at 5.30 if they want to, but if it's impacting on someone else, then they don't. It's really, really NOT that hard to be considerate. I live on a corridor with 4 families with kids, including one next door, and I hardly ever hear them. When they're in the corridor, they talk in low voices. Because that's what you do when you live in a communal building and most people are asleep. Same reason I put my headphones on when I'm watching TV after 10pm. My rights to watch a film don't overshadow the neighbours' right to a night's sleep (pity they don't show me the same consideration). If your neighbours are being woken up by your noise, you're too loud. It's not rocket science.

bobbysands81

Zamboni wrote: »

I'm not sure there is a genuine complaint here.
Our culture involves fairly low vocal acoustics but we are very much in the minority in that case around the world.
If this woman and her family are living their normal lives in the confines of their own dwelling I cannot see a problem. It's not as if they are blaring the stereo.
I would move if it affected me.

Everybody has a right to peaceful enjoyment of their own home.

The neighbours nationality is not an issue here folks, the noise is.

plasmaguy

Write a letter and put it in her mailbox explaining the situation and ask her to keep the noise down early in the morning.

Give it a week or two and if nothing improves then write another letter saying you might have to make a complaint to the council.

Start small and build up the pressure. At some stage the noise will stop, trust me.

ricman

so i,m from india ,i have the right to wake you up at 5 am every morning .
WHEN you come to ireland you should respect our rights and have consideration ,no one forces you to come here.Politeness ,kindness and consideration and manners is how we get along.
Sometimes political correctness can go too far.

The_Conductor

Guys- calm down.
Next person who personalises their post gets a holiday from this forum.

Post factual information addressing the OP's query- or if you disagree with what someone else posts- refute it in a factual manner.

Regards,

SMcCarrick

ztoical

plasmaguy wrote: »

Write a letter and put it in her mailbox explaining the situation and ask her to keep the noise down early in the morning.

Give it a week or two and if nothing improves then write another letter saying you might have to make a complaint to the council.

Start small and build up the pressure. At some stage the noise will stop, trust me.

Why write a letter when you could just knock on the door and have a chat? Sometimes the most simple solution is the best. If that gets them no were then yeah maybe consider writing a letter before getting in touch with the local authority. The local authority won't take their compliant seriously if they can't show they've made an effort to come to a solution themselves.

John Mason

OP, you should go and speak to her, just let her know that you family doesnt get up until x time and ask would it be possible to keep the noise down a little until that time.

also perhaps you should consider making friends with her, have a little chat with her when you see her.

if your kids are the same age, why dont you get them to come around.

its always much nicer to be friendly with your neighbors, there is more respect and its always great to have someone next door who can lend you some sugar if you run out

her nationality is not really relevant but in my experience most african people are very approachable and friendly, as long as you are the same with them - like all nationalities in the world

plasmaguy

ztoical wrote: »

Why write a letter when you could just knock on the door and have a chat? Sometimes the most simple solution is the best. If that gets them no were then yeah maybe consider writing a letter before getting in touch with the local authority. The local authority won't take their compliant seriously if they can't show they've made an effort to come to a solution themselves.

Because a letter can be copied for legal reasons. If you make a complaint to gardai or council, you can say you wrote the following letter.

A letter is more official and less confrontational than a chat.

With a chat, it's their word against yours. With a letter, no-one can dispute that communication took place.

Also with a letter you get your opinion across better, rather than having someone argue with you and make excuses.

My approach would always be to write a polite letter first.

john-joe

OP; what's the update on this?

did you go speak to people next door to you?

JJ

ztoical

plasmaguy wrote: »

Because a letter can be copied for legal reasons. If you make a complaint to gardai or council, you can say you wrote the following letter.

A letter is more official and less confrontational than a chat.

With a chat, it's their word against yours. With a letter, no-one can dispute that communication took place.

Also with a letter you get your opinion across better, rather than having someone argue with you and make excuses.

My approach would always be to write a polite letter first.

Writing a letter is very passive aggressive for a first contact. Why be so sure it's going to go further then a chat? The OP has done nothing to this point to deal with this issue so we shouldn't go assuming it's going to end up being some long drawn out issue. You don't know calling around for a chat will end up in an argument. The mother in question could simply not be aware of the noise level traveling through to the other house and that could be the end of it - no fuss no muss. If a quick chat doesn't work then yeah by all means go write a letter but I don't see the point in jumping to letter writing as a first option.

Frankly think we are going in circles unless the OP comes back to comment on the suggestions on the thread or expands on her first post with further information.