Desperate? Single Women Over 30?

Cavehill Red

Very entertaining thread.
Here's my 2c.
Sure, social conditioning to get married exists, but it ain't the Fifties anymore. The age of first marriage is consistently rising here like everywhere else, and is well over 30 now, I believe, in Ireland. So while Mammy might be on yer case the odd time, ye're equally well able to resist the wedding bells without society banishing you into the woods to live with cats.
I feel blessed with my OH, who is ideologically resistant to church ceremonies and viscerally resistant to having children. Suits me bang on. I wouldn't want to be part of the dating game today.
On the one hand, my single mates are reporting upswings in interest compared with their 20s. Maybe they're less desperate, or maybe the women are moreso, I dunno. Probably a bit of both.
But apparently there are still plenty of shopping lists out there - the lassies who want to know what they earn and drive within ten seconds of meeting.
But also a lot more realism from women whose hawtness is fading and now understand that a nice pair of baps and a sweet smile doesn't necessarily entitle you to a millionaire and a yacht in St Tropez.
Does that add up to desperation? In some, no doubt. But they're probably the sort of people who had a timetable of aspirations for their lives written out since they were little.

Greyfox

August Zealous Hurricane wrote: »

Talked to a fella who said he did ok in his 20's with girls (he was always happy being single and is a nice fella) but when he went into his thirties he was fighting them off.

One of my mates who's 26 would definitely agree with this, since he stopped going for women his age and younger and just went for women a little older then him he's went from having very little success with women to loads of success with them, he believes it's because women stop been so picky as they start to realise time is not on their side

I believe it's definitely down to social pressure thats very hard for women to ignor. I'm with my girlfriend a year and she gets asked when are we moving in together and am I the mythical "one" all the time by her family and friends while it's been said to me once or twice at the most and even this was in a casual small talk way and not a serious question

corkgirl1

I have a lot of single female friends, who are really nice, good looking, good jobs. I am surprised they are still single! I dont think they have become more desperate now that they are over 30, they have been trying to find a decent guy for years and it just has not happened and I suppose the older they get the harder it is to meet people. I just think they make more of an effort as they have realized that their ideal man is not as easy to find as originally thought

up for anything

Greyfox wrote: »

One of my mates who's 26 would definitely agree with this, since he stopped going for women his age and younger and just went for women a little older then him he's went from having very little success with women to loads of success with them, he believes it's because women stop been so picky as they start to realise time is not on their side

Doesn't say much for him though.

Standard Toaster

Lux23 wrote: »

I am 28 and single. And since I was in my late teens people have been asking me why I haven't got a boyfriend. Most of the time I am pretty happy that I don't apart from Saturday nights when I go out and I am the only single person there and I know I will get 'oh we must find someone for you soon'. The worst thing about all this is that the fear of being branded a sad, lonely freak actually clouds my real feelings about whether I actually really want to spend the rest of my life with one person. I don't worry about being childless because I would just have a child if I want to, I won't wait till I am married or with long term. But I hate the idea of people pitying me because I haven't met someone special in my life.

I'm in the exact same situation, except I have a penis and I haven't got a girlfriend.
And I hate that line "'oh we must find someone for you", fúck off I'll find my own thank you very much!

stovelid

I can imagine that maybe it's a little worrying for single women who want children and who are in their late-thirties, but to automatically think that a woman of a certain age is somehow unfulfilled because they don't have children/husband by a certain age is cretinous.

Lux23

I wouldn't mind if they thought about who they want to set me up with but normally its just a man that is single.

Kasabian

stovelid wrote: »

I can imagine that maybe it's a little worrying for single women who want children and who are in their late-thirties, but to automatically think that a woman of a certain age is somehow unfulfilled because they don't have children/husband by a certain age is cretinous.

Excellantly put.

Blobby George

starbelgrade wrote: »

Maybe it's a body clock thing

That's the crucial issue here. The clock is a ticking and they don't want to seem like an outcast. Of course rationally speaking that isn't how it is but try explaining that to a woman in her 30's.

up for anything

Blobby George wrote: »

That's the crucial issue here. The clock is a ticking and they don't want to seem like an outcast. Of course rationally speaking that isn't how it is but try explaining that to a woman in her 30's.

Get rid of the bloody, useless Thank You and let's be having smack, punch and GBH buttons instead. :rolleyes:

Kasabian

Blobby George wrote: »

That's the crucial issue here. The clock is a ticking and they don't want to seem like an outcast. Of course rationally speaking that isn't how it is but try explaining that to a woman in her 30's.

I dislike your posts on most topics.

Glenster

Kasabian wrote: »

I dislike your posts on most topics.

I liked his take on Linda Martin.

Kasabian

Glenster wrote: »

I liked his take on Linda Martin.

Must have missed that , is it a redeemer ?

Blobby George

Kasabian wrote: »

I dislike your posts on most topics.

Sorry to hear it. Can't say I ever noticed any of your posts.

Kasabian

Blobby George wrote: »

Sorry to hear it. Can't say I ever noticed any of your posts.

Maybe I'll make a better effort to antagonise it seems to get your attention.

Tar.Aldarion

/reads title


/looks down


...you hear that boy!


*jackpot*

Abi

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

/reads title


/looks down


...you hear that boy!


*jackpot*

Nawwhs. He's sooooo kutes. Can I pet him?! *flutters eyelashes*


:pac:

PK2008

Im sick of reading boards threads that say "women are just as horny as men", "when women hit their 30's they cant get enough", "older women love younger guys", "just ask her out she'll say yes" blah blah blah!!!

Where the hell are these women!!!! Do we occupy the same country!!!!
Seriously!!



Cue 'well thought-out comment from Wibbs which gets loads of thanks' .............and goodnight!

Kiera

PK2008 wrote: »

Im sick of reading boards threads that say "women are just as horny as men", "when women hit their 30's they cant get enough", "older women love younger guys", "just ask her out she'll say yes" blah blah blah!!!

Where the hell are these women!!!! Do we occupy the same country!!!!
Seriously!!



Cue 'well thought-out comment from Wibbs which gets loads of thanks' .............and goodnight!

We're all taken :P

/in every sense of the word!

Abi

PK2008 wrote: »

Im sick of reading boards threads that say "women are just as horny as men", "when women hit their 30's they cant get enough", "older women love younger guys", "just ask her out she'll say yes" blah blah blah!!!

Where the hell are these women!!!! Do we occupy the same country!!!!
Seriously!!

Its not us, its you :pac:

Tar.Aldarion

Kiera wrote: »

We're all taken :P

/in every sense of the word!

But don't worry PK2008 they have multiple access, it's all very PC.

WindSock

Abigayle wrote: »

Its not us, its you :pac:

Speak for yourself

PK2008

Abigayle wrote: »

Its not us, its you :pac:

Meh, its all talk, me thinks

Kiera

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

But don't worry PK2008 they have multiple access, it's all very PC.

Spitroast? :eek:

recylingbin

Without wanting to heap pressure on our triocagenarian female friends, there is nothing sadder in this life than seeing a lonely old woman who never got married or had kids surrounding herself with ten cats.
Breaks my heart.

Standard Toaster

To all the desperate, single wimmins over 30, please see this fine thread.

*Free mojito or mammogram from your's truely if you can prove to me you're a desperate single & over 30.




*Neither I nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this post for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law. If symptoms contunue please consult your physician for accurate information, prevention and treatment.

Abi

PK2008 wrote: »

Meh, its all talk, me thinks

Yeah, maybe you're right

PeterIanStaker

This post illustrates that women are sometimes their own worst enemies in how they percieve their lives to pan out. It reminds me of the thread about supermodels about a month back in a way - ie if you don't resemble a skeletal Belsen horror, youre "fat" or some nonsense.

The older generation saying to girls "ooh ye should settle down, ye know when I was your age I had 17 kids, sure who needs an education, or freedom, or friends? etc" is pure Catholic brainwashing IMHO.



I just want to say that I know nothing about women really, I'm a late 20's male. I'm in a relationship with a girl who has no intention of marrying or having kids, so I think I'm extremely lucky.
Thats my 2c anyway.
Coffee time.

PK2008

recylingbin wrote: »

Without wanting to heap pressure on our triocagenarian female friends, there is nothing sadder greater in this life than seeing a lonely old woman who never got married or had kids surrounding herself with ten cats.
Breaks my heart.

Party time!!!!

Giggity

Kiera

Standard Toaster wrote: »

To all the desperate, single wimmins over 30, please see this fine thread.

*Free mojito or mammogram from your's truely if you can prove to me you're a desperate single & over 30.




*Neither I nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this post for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law. If symptoms contunue please consult your physician for accurate information, prevention and treatment.

I'd pretend to be god if it meant a free mojito

Wibbs

PK2008 wrote: »

Im sick of reading boards threads that say "women are just as horny as men", "when women hit their 30's they cant get enough", "older women love younger guys", "just ask her out she'll say yes" blah blah blah!!!

Where the hell are these women!!!! Do we occupy the same country!!!!
Seriously!!

Its all lies. No really. Its a fiendishly cunning plan by the 30 year old wimmins of Ireland. You see they'll entice you in with the promise of pron star sexual antics and then... WHAMMO! 2 up 2 down living with kids in suburbia and then you're trapped :eek::eek: You have been warned. :D:D

Cue 'well thought-out comment from Wibbs which gets loads of thanks' .............and goodnight!

May have gone astray there man. apologies :D

Abi

Wibbs wrote: »

Its all lies. No really. Its a fiendishly cunning plan by the 30 year old wimmins of Ireland. You see they'll entice you in with the promise of pron star sexual antics and then... WHAMMO! 2 up 2 down living with kids in suburbia and then you're trapped :eek::eek: You have been warned. :D:D

Wibbs, quit vag-blocking ffs

Boxoffrogs

I found myself single almost as soon as I turned 30 (by my own engineering). Two years on and rather than becoming more desperate, quite the opposite is happening.

For the first time in my life, I'm ridiculously happy in my own skin, something I never was in my teens or twenties.

Relax boys, if we speak to you, it doesn't mean we'll be whipping out the bridal catalogues and want to have your babies, well most of us anyway...

Wonkagirl

I'm 34 and single.. and having a bleedin' ball! Couldnt give a ****e whether i meet someone or not- which i have no doubt i will... I have 5 nieces and nephews so if i never have kids, i dont mind.. anyway, i've never smoked and am fit and healthy, no reason why i couldnt have kids at 40/41/42, whatever..

i think men are the ones that are more obsessed with womens biological clocks than wimmin themselves from what i've seen..! I'm certainly far from desperate anyway, most of the time i think i'm happier single- men=DRAMA, men dont know what they want and are largely emotionally retarded!!

have a date with a hot boy on thurs nite- well, a man- he's 38- sounds like his biological clock is ticking out of his pelvis, ''dying to meet someone'' was my friends description.. anyway, he's hot AND funny so i'll give him a whirl

Wonkagirl

diddledum wrote: »

I found myself single almost as soon as I turned 30 (by my own engineering). Two years on and rather than becoming more desperate, quite the opposite is happening.

For the first time in my life, I'm ridiculously happy in my own skin, something I never was in my teens or twenties.

Relax boys, if we speak to you, it doesn't mean we'll be whipping out the bridal catalogues and want to have your babies, well most of us anyway...

x2.. that's exactly how i feel too.. i've been pretty much single (bar 2 x 6 mth disasters with FOCWITS) since turning 30, and have never been happier.. was in a mad panic to settle down in my 20s, now i'm way happier for some reason..

nachoman

alwaysadub wrote: »

:eek:
That's so freakey-i'm literally just after watching my sisters wedding video from 10years ago and one of my uncles made some smart comment to me, on video, bout how i should get the finger out and settle down.

10years later,i'm still no closer. :pac:

I'm 30 and single, but i'm not just going to grab the 1st bloke who i like(or who likes me) and beg him to marry me before i'm too old. A lot of the girls in my family have married and had families well into their 30's and they're all doing alright.

When,and if, the right man comes along, i just want things to progress at their own pace and not be rushing into either kids or marriage so i can breath a sigh of relief that i'm married at a 'respectable' age

Is the grass green on the other side though? I seriously doubt it.

Elle Collins

I hear an awful lot about this supposed female thirty-something desperation - funny thing is I see no evidence of it and it's always men I hear about it from.

alwaysadub

nachoman wrote: »

Is the grass green on the other side though? I seriously doubt it.

I don't get ya-how'd you mean?

Wonkagirl

Elle Collins wrote: »

I hear an awful lot about this supposed female thirty-something desperation - funny thing is I see no evidence of it and it's always men I hear about it from.

CORRECT! always men.

The minute they hear your age, they're like ''oh jesus she'll have me down the aisle within the quater''- grow up dudes!

timelessone

I met a cracking looking bird in work about eight years ago. I was 23. She was 24.

I realised a couple of things almost straight away:

1. She was far to good looking for me.
2. She was far too smart.
3. She was far too ambitious.
4. She was far too driven

So I says to myself, I says ''Big Fellah you can either try to improve yourself and become the man she wants or just wait for her to lower her standards.''

So I wait for her to lower her standards and, six years later, end up scoring her in Cafe en Seine.

Now we live together and have a dog.

!!!!BACK OF THE NET!!!!!

nachoman

alwaysadub wrote: »

I don't get ya-how'd you mean?

Obviously there's the perception that you'll be happier when you're married, thats bs.

alwaysadub

nachoman wrote: »

Obviously there's the perception that you'll be happier when you're married, thats bs.

Where did i say i'll be happier when i'm married?

Doesn't bother me in the slighest if i get married or not tbh. From when i was a kid,i never thought i would.

Kiera

alwaysadub wrote: »

Where did i say i'll be happier when i'm married?

Doesn't bother me in the slighest if i get married or not tbh. From when i was a kid,i never thought i would.

I was the opposite. I always thought I'd get married and have a football team of kids. The older i got the less i wanted all that. Most of my friends are married with kids but its not what i want anymore for some reason.

Abi

diddledum wrote: »

I found myself single almost as soon as I turned 30 (by my own engineering).

I did the same ^

Two years on and rather than becoming more desperate, quite the opposite is happening.

For the first time in my life, I'm ridiculously happy in my own skin, something I never was in my teens or twenties.

The complete opposite is right. I'm far more confident than I was in my twenties. I hadn't a clue what I wanted, and pretty much danced to the tune everyone expected of me. Not any fucking more!

I'm now doing what I should have been doing all along, enjoying single life rather than letting the world pass me by- which I did with the wrong guy in my twenties.

Its all about the fun-times baby :pac:

Wonkagirl

Abigayle wrote: »

I'm now doing what I should have been doing all along, enjoying single life rather than letting the world pass me by- which I did with the wrong guy in my twenties.

Its all about the fun-times baby :pac:

Here here.. i spent 8 yrs of my 20s in 2 separate LT relationships, and have been single and so HAPPY since turning 30 4 yrs ago.. i was so stressed and insecure in my 20s, now i couldnt give a s h i t e whether i meet 'the one' or not..

Abi

Wonkagirl wrote: »

Here here.. i spent 8 yrs of my 20s in 2 separate LT relationships, and have been single and so HAPPY since turning 30 4 yrs ago.. i was so stressed and insecure in my 20s, now i couldnt give a s h i t e whether i meet 'the one' or not..

Its the pressure you're put under to go ticking of a list of boxes that other people dictacte you should be doing / have by now. Rather than continue the facade, I ended a marraige to be single. I'm in no hurry back to all that shit.

starbelgrade

14 pages of posts in less than 24 hours - this is by far the most successful thread I've ever started - the usually die after 2 pages !! I'll be back later to read the last 10 or so pages.

Kiera

starbelgrade wrote: »

14 pages of posts in less than 24 hours - this is by far the most successful thread I've ever started - the usually die after 2 pages !! I'll be back later to read the last 10 or so pages.

5 pages. You werent very good at maths, were you? :P

Wonkagirl

yeah that's it Abigayle- it's other peoples expectations- peers, parents, society.. in all honesty if i never got married it wouldnt bother me. obviously i'd like to meet someone that rocks my world that maybe i'll change my opinion on that front and love to spend the rest of my life with them but if i dont, i love my life the way it is..

fair balls to you for ending the marriage- imagine still being in an unhappy marriage rather than being footloose, fancy free and a happy single gal like you now are?

i look at all my married friends and to be quite honest, i'd say i have the most fulfilling life of the lot of them at the moment. maybe i've become TOO independent!

Pepe LeFrits

vag blocking, lol.

This thread is great.