my belief

denballs

i believe in a god.........basically i think all religions are the same with diff stories......my religion is similar is that our god was a being or race of alien billions of years ago that ascended to a more powerful/greater existance..........they created our universe through science and technology.........perhaps they even created everything there is or are everything there is..............its loosly based on the ancients in the tv show stargate.................im thinking of naming it denizizizizum after myself but would be open to any opinions on the matter

Ryan!

...oh god

strobe

I'll lose points for asking the obvious question here but.....Where did the aliens come from man? Who created their universe? Turtles all the way down?

kiffer

Sounds good to me... but what's your selling point?
I mean you'll face stiff competition from vendors all ready active in the market...

I suggest you research the things that made other religions successful... You could probably carve off a sliver of the market, enough to keep you in booze and virgins for a few years, with out too much hard work.

kiffer

strobe wrote: »

I'll lose points for asking the obvious question here but.....Where did the aliens come from man? Who created their universe? Turtles all the way down?

Heresy! The aliens are clearly eternal cyclic meta-entities which have always existed...
Their universe was created when they traveled back in time and made it themselves. Only they don't travel back in time because time is a circle...

denballs

strobe wrote: »

I'll lose points for asking the obvious question here but.....Where did the aliens come from man? Who created their universe? Turtles all the way down?

im still workin on that one.......sorta a vchicken egg conundrum a ding dong there............you might have somthing with the turtles though

i reckon homosapians just black the intelligence to guess such things..........

but put it this way...if you think of nothing what do you think of .......blackness?...........so theirs still black .........hmm.........but thats somthing isnt it..................theres no such thing as nothing and if we had everything and new everything what would be the point of anything...........we,d never discover anything......nothing ould excite us...........we,d hav no reason to cruise through space..........


without bad theres no good............everything needs an opposaite to exist

denballs

kiffer wrote: »

Sounds good to me... but what's your selling point?
I mean you'll face stiff competition from vendors all ready active in the market...

I suggest you research the things that made other religions successful... You could probably carve off a sliver of the market, enough to keep you in booze and virgins for a few years, with out too much hard work.

i wasnt thinking from a business standpoint but damn you make a good argument......virgins you say...........isnt that a cult leader specific bonus............thats 2 much work for me and im not one for the mass suicide parties.........sorta a downer

denballs

kiffer wrote: »

Heresy! The aliens are clearly eternal cyclic meta-entities which have always existed...
Their universe was created when they traveled back in time and made it themselves. Only they don't travel back in time because time is a circle...

you seem to know alot about this or at least you can make up some sexy words............how would you like to be pope?

denballs

oh also in my religion you can do what you want.......theres no sins and ****..........you r who u r

kiffer

No that'll never work... Sorry I'm pulling a Paul here and taking over... From now on it's a sin to not give us money and no one can wear the colour orange.

denballs

kiffer wrote: »

No that'll never work... Sorry I'm pulling a Paul here and taking over... From now on it's a sin to not give us money and no one can wear the colour orange.

i like the orange part but perhaps we should say that gold is holy and we should keep it in our safe.............gold is safer than currency these days

kiffer

hmm no gold is unholy and must be taken into our care to be purified... Thus making it holy...
And we keep a small portion of it as is our due for conducting the ritual...

MrVestek

Hah so you were a troll. I had my suspicions in another thread :-)

The thing about your belief system is that... ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Zillah

This is still more plausible than the Jesus thing.

kiffer

... Sod this it's schism time...
We are now the Golden Orthodox Church of Denizizizizum and you, denballs, are the Hetrodox Church of the Blue Dawn...

Ryan!

OP, what you been smokin'?

MrVestek

Ryan! wrote: »

OP, what you been smokin'?

Nothing. The head shops all closed down remember?

kiffer

Ryan! wrote: »

OP, what you been smokin'?

The Pagebringer has come! What good news do you bring?
More rolled up stargate scrpits for us to burn as holy offerings!

Daftendirekt

denballs wrote: »

oh also in my religion you can do what you want.......theres no sins and ****..........you r who u r

I dunno, without pointless rules and threats of eternal punishment, you haven't really got a religion. I also recommend some sort of meatball eating ritual.

kiffer

meat balls may only be eatenenjoyed if the moon is waxing... At other times they are an abomination!

Edit: can you eat themif you don't enjoy them?

Dades

Okaaaay.

Canis Lupus

denballs wrote: »

****..........you r who u r

Can this be your version of amen?

liamw

denballs wrote: »

oh also in my religion you can do what you want.......theres no sins and ****..........you r who u r

You need fear of punishment for not believing. That's the crux of the religious meme. Schoolboy error

5uspect

Dades wrote: »

Okaaaay.

Don't encourage them!

kiffer

5uspect wrote: »

Don't encourage them!

Your denial only shows how right we are!

Galvasean

Zillah wrote: »

This is still more plausible than the Jesus thing.

Actually, it kind of is.

kiffer

Galvasean wrote: »

Actually, it kind of is.

Don't worry give it a hundred years of oral tradition ... it'll get there.

denballs

ok here we go ive been working on it .............

the church of pure humanity

our god{s} are at least 10 billion years old and were created when nothingness didnt work as theres no such thing as nothing......they originated as a single spark of electricity but their species can create more energy so werever they go they spread energy which randomly turns into somthing living..........big bang theory is what happens when they release their energy..........

now heres the really interseting bit that explains the basics of all other religions................the soul is our individual piece of this energy and it can only survive within a case such as a human body...........happiness and good strengthens this energy and anger and evil weakens it..............we get roughly 80 years to strengthen our energy to a point at which it can survive outside the human body...........if it is strong enough to survive then we become somthing better and can eventually become the same as the alien gods...........if the soul energy is not strong enough to survive then it sorta short circuits and burns up like a spark.....but isnt destroyed so it just keeps burning


.................................ENERGY NEVER DIES.......................................

MrVestek

Somebody please reassure me that this person is trolling because I refuse to believe that somebody can be this stupid.

iUseVi

Achilles wrote: »

Somebody please reassure me that this person is trolling because I refuse to believe that somebody can be this stupid.

I don't think they are serious but then people are serious about water-walking zombies so meh. *shrugs*

denballs

Achilles wrote: »

Somebody please reassure me that this person is trolling because I refuse to believe that somebody can be this stupid.

your rude..........go get some friends and improve your social interCTION capabilities .......

MrVestek

denballs wrote: »

your rude..........go get some friends and improve your social interCTION capabilities .......

At least the bible has a coherent sentence structure. Friends? I have loads of them... won't you be my friend? Ohh pretty please?

PLEASE BE MY FRIEND I LOVE YOU!

kiffer

ahhh I see the schism is going well...

Sam Vimes

denballs wrote: »

i believe in a god.........basically i think all religions are the same with diff stories......my religion is similar is that our god was a being or race of alien billions of years ago that ascended to a more powerful/greater existance

got as far as here and thought "that sounds like the ancients"

denballs wrote: »

its loosly based on the ancients in the tv show stargate

And then it was confirmed

denballs

Sam Vimes wrote: »

got as far as here and thought "that sounds like the ancients"


And then it was confirmed

lol

krudler

I'd be a lot more interested in religion if it was more like sci-fi, some bloke in tatty robes telling us all to be nice to each other or a race of super intelligent warlords hellbent on blowing up planets? that would make church WAY more interesting.

The Mad Hatter

A few years ago, I saw someone on a Paganism forum proclaim, in all honesty and full knowledge that they were invented, a belief in J.R.R. Tolkien's Ainur.