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Shower Etiquette: Male vs Female

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  • 20-05-2010 3:55pm
    #1
    PeterIanStaker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
    according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
    to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah
    and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.

    Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit
    and mint.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
    until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
    wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel
    on head.

    If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
    areas.


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
    the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see your wife along the way, shake willy
    at her, making the "woo-woo" sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
    rinse it off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the
    shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and
    surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs
    stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
    was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
    light and fan on.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at
    her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.


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