Spot The Difference

Peyton Manning

....or How To Get Your Big Name Signing.

Consolation Goal takes a look at the eerie similarities between innocent “more than a club” Barcelona and Real “we step on puppies for fun” Madrid.



Step 1.

Get said transfer to announce his desire to remain at his current club.

Cristiano Ronaldo: “I’m no longer thinking of Madrid. That dream is dead. I am very happy [at Manchester United]. I want to stay here and I am very focused on winning the Champions League.”

Cesc Fabregas: “We don’t need to talk about my future. I don’t understand all the rumours about me. I’ve always said that I’m happy at Arsenal.”

Step 2.

Undo Step 1 and make the player issue a come-and-get-me plea, making him look like a dishonest twat to his former fans.

Cristiano Ronaldo: “Yes, I would like to play for Real Madrid. That’s the truth, depending on what they are willing to spend on me and what Manchester United ask.”

Cesc Fabregas: “I think I would like to go to Barcelona, whether or not they want me is another thing.”

Step 3.

Get an international and prospective team mate to urge your transfer target to come join him.

Pepe: “For now, [Ronaldo] has to be respectful to Manchester United, like I am to Madrid, but I believe that sooner or later he will come. I think he wants to come here, and he has shown that.”

Xavi: “It is criminal for a player of Cesc’s quality not to be winning the biggest prizes in football. He really has no choice but to leave. He is making the right decision.”

Step 4.

Repeat Step 3.

Ruud Van Nistelrooy: “One day Ronaldo will join us. This could happen next summer, or the one after.”

Gerard Pique: “I am convinced that Cesc will come here. I am enjoying the best years of my life and my career here and I think that’s why Cesc wants to come. He would fit in well. I found it impossible to resist a return to Barcelona.”

Step 5.

Get one of your transfer target’s parents to push the deal through. Saying it is their dying wish is optional.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Mother: “Of all the foreign clubs, Real Madrid is the best. Before I die I would like him to play for Real Madrid. I would really like that and then I could die, it wouldn’t matter.”

Cesc Fabregas’ Father: “Cesc is now concentrated on the national team, but he wants the closure ofthe signing soon. I’m not sure how this will end, but I think they must respect the decision and will of the player.”

Step 6.

Finally, and most importantly, remind everybody of how nice and respectful you have been.

Ramon Calderon (Real Madrid President): “We have not had any discussions with Ronaldo because United said they don’t want to sell and we don’t want to be disrespectful to them. We will only do what United want to do with the player.”

Txiki Begiristain (Barcelona Sporting Director): “The player has shown his will to come to Barca, but we will not do anything until Arsenal want to negotiate. We have the will of the player to come to Barcelona, but what we won’t do is start to negotiate without Arsenal until an agreement is reached. Cesc has a contract with his club and we will be very respectful.”

Coming Soon: Step 7 – Unveiling the player.

http://consolationgoal.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/spot-the-difference/

Frisbee

Archimedes wrote: »

Consolation Goal takes a look at the eerie similarities between innocent “more than a club” Barcelona and Real “we step on puppies for fun” Madrid.

Archi, never change.

Le King

Fantastic! Great stuff.

Cypher_sounds

Well put together. Theirs an air of inevitability around the transfer of Fabergas to Barca as there was with Cristiano's transfer to Madrid.

folan

Real “we step on puppies for fun” Madrid

Best club name ever! thatll be my fantasy football team name for a while

Ush1

Mainly morons complain about Real Madrids spending.

Barca are like any other club.

SlickRic

Ush1 wrote: »

Mainly morons complain about Real Madrids spending.

are you going out of your way to be a bit of a damp squib?

people hate Real Mardid's arrogance more than anything i'd wager; not their money necessary.

and anyway, the name was a joke.

Smegball

SlickRic wrote: »

are you going out of your way to be a bit of a damp squib?

people hate Real Mardid's arrogance more than anything i'd wager; not their money necessary.

and anyway, the name was a joke.

Barcelona are equally as arrogant, only in a different nearly more condescending manner.

Ush1

SlickRic wrote: »

are you going out of your way to be a bit of a damp squib?

people hate Real Mardid's arrogance more than anything i'd wager; not their money necessary.

and anyway, the name was a joke.

What do you mean damp squib?

People hate their arrogance? Are most big clubs not arrogant? Not that they buy lots of expensive players and seem to have endless cash?

Again, I'm not sure what you mean about the name. These things should be obvious to most people.

SlickRic

Ush1 wrote: »

What do you mean damp squib?

as in it was a fun thread, and you then, from out of nowhere came in with your serious hat on and called anyone morons who have a problem with their transfer policy.

Ush1 wrote: »

People hate their arrogance? Are most big clubs not arrogant? Not that they buy lots of expensive players and seem to have endless cash?

no, big clubs aren't necessarily arrogant. and if they are, it's not to the same extent. if you're fine with the way Real Madrid, and Barca it seems, talk about other clubs' players in the press, publically stating their interest, then that's your prerogative.

Ush1 wrote: »

Again, I'm not sure what you mean about the name. These things should be obvious to most people.

'damp squib' = you made the thread quite serious all of a sudden.

Eirebear

People "hate" Real Madrid because of the image portrayed of them all over the world by many people within the media and the exact opposite image being portrayed of Barcelona.

All the article in the OP has done is point out the similarities in the way the two operate, yet where Madrid are reviled for such things, it is all cast aside when it comes to the glorious Barca.

Personally i have an admiration for both clubs given their history and success, however that is not the case for everyone.

Ush1

SlickRic wrote: »

as in it was a fun thread, and you then, from out of nowhere came in with your serious hat on and called anyone morons who have a problem with their transfer policy.

I 'spose if talking sense isn't amusing to you?

SlickRic wrote: »

no, big clubs aren't necessarily arrogant. and if they are, it's not to the same extent. if you're fine with the way Real Madrid, and Barca it seems, talk about other clubs' players in the press, publically stating their interest, then that's your prerogative.

Big clubs are inherently arrogant. If you think Real Madrid are big bad arrogant monsters, you're naive. I heard most "big clubs" publicly state interest. From Man U to Arsenal.

SlickRic wrote: »

'damp squib' = you made the thread quite serious all of a sudden.

Again. *shrugs*

dfx-

Since when has the difference in Barcelona and Real been about their 'big signing' transfer techniques...

There is a wealth of difference between the two clubs in many more ways.

Mars Bar

dfx- wrote: »

Since when has the difference in Barcelona and Real been about their 'big signing' transfer techniques...

There is a wealth of difference between the two clubs in many more ways.

You can't say that and not expand on it!

Chucky the tree

One of the mains reasons everyone hates Real Madrid is the treatment their managers receive and the lack of footballing knowledge there president has. Not only that, but the press in Madrid(Marca) leading the way generally make it a very easy club to hate.

oconnon9

I can't believe a few gob****es on their periods are dragging down this thread..

great post archimedes, well done

stovelid

Brilliant, Archimedes!

stovelid

Smegball wrote: »

Barcelona are equally as arrogant, only in a different nearly more condescending manner.

This made me laugh the other day...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/may/22/barcelona-cesc-fabregas-barney-ronay