Eurovision 2010.

soccymonster

ohthebaby wrote: »

Where's Belgium?!

HERE!!!:D:D

Loveeeeeeeeee him sooooo much!

2manyconditions

well most here should be happy now

ohthebaby

Oooh Iceland please.

Busi_Girl08

Heeeeeeeeere we go!!

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Yay! Liked that song
Moldova - Nice energetic song. WIll probably do well
Russia - Oh lord... He doesn't seem too excited either.
GREECE!! - OPA!!!!!!!
Portugal - Nice song. Might do well. Won't win though.
Belarus - Oh my god. THE BUTTERFLIES ARE IN!!!! :eek:
Serbia - Ugh, It will be in the top 5 though,

Aw poor Malta lady, look so scared

Belgium! - The Chris Fountain lookalike is through!
Albania - Meh. Good, generic pop song.

Last one... FYR, FYR, FYR, PLEEEEASE

Iceland. Bah!!:mad:

Mute

Moldova 4 *
Russia 4 *
Estonia 5
Slovenia 3
Finland 2
Latvia - 3
Serbia - 2 *
Bosnia & H - 6*
Poland - shud be shot
Belgium - 7 *
Malta - 6
Albania - 8 *
Greece - 4 *
Portugal - 4 *
Macedonia - 4
Belarus - has anyone a fly swat?????*
Iceland - Sam ate the volcano 5 *

Theres no accounting for some tastes!

Still fancy Albania ew@ 66/1

BroomBurner

Poor Estonia

At least it was Iceland though!

greenie

Ah I thought Malta were better than half those that got thru...bless

soccymonster

Ah Ryan Tubridy of estonia didn't get through

ohthebaby

Woo!

I really don't like the Russian entry.

DJCR

B&H - Meh
Moldova - Blah
Russia - Politics
Greece - No ****ing way ... imagine the cost of keeping them there for another while!!!
Portual - Hotness won the day !!!
Belarus - Its a million Fireflies (Butterflies)
Serbia - WTF!?!?!?!?
Belgium - No surprise - at least Europe have a bit of cop on !!!
Albania - rock chick.... aways has a chance
Iceland - Seriously - one lie of french badly spoken ... oh well!!!


Finland didn't make it.... its a travesty!!!! Those folksy lady can come here any day and I'll go see them!!!

Mr.Nice Guy

The winner won't be from this group of acts. Very confident of that.

efb

Yeah Iceland!

BroomBurner

Busi_Girl08 wrote: »

Russia - Oh lord... He doesn't seem too excited either.

There's little to be excited about for a lost and forgotten peasant.

Except maybe a crayon drawing of his lover.

Busi_Girl08

I wanted Macedonia to get through

Ah well, wasn't that bad. And I got a good chuckle from Belarus.

See y'all on Thursday!!

Mute

DJCR wrote: »

B&H - Meh
Moldova - Blah
Russia - Politics
Greece - No ****ing way ... imagine the cost of keeping them there for another while!!!
Portual - Hotness won the day !!!
Belarus - Its a million Fireflies (Butterflies)
Serbia - WTF!?!?!?!?
Belgium - No surprise - at least Europe have a bit of cop on !!!
Albania - rock chick.... aways has a chance
Iceland - Seriously - one lie of french badly spoken ... oh well!!!


Finland didn't make it.... its a travesty!!!! Those folksy lady can come here any day and I'll go see them!!!

silvervixen84

I quite liked the Estonia entry too, it was quirky (even if the backing singers were a bit creepy)

Also, Serbia? Ick

efb

Belgium- how'd I miss him???

ohthebaby

That was a good evening's entertainent! Thank you all for the wonderful company and many laughs.



See you all Thursday?!

KnifeWRENCH

wow, a load of crap got through. serbia, belarus and moldova were all rubbish.

reallyrose

ohthebaby wrote: »

That was a good evening's entertainent! Thank you all for the wonderful company and many laughs.



See you all Thursday?!

OPA!

OPA means WOO! in greek!

soccymonster

ohthebaby wrote: »

That was a good evening's entertainent! Thank you all for the wonderful company and many laughs.



See you all Thursday?!

Defo!
Saturday is gonna be an even better night though

Caprica

How the frack did Serbia and Russia get through? I was glad to see Portgual get through, they still sing in their own language when pretty much every one else chooses english.

I feel sorry for Slovakia and Malta they deserve to be in the final. If Belarus can get the first guy to sing in tune, they could do well on Saturday.

Good luck Niamh.

Closed ac

Moldova - Good.
Serbia - Alright, chorus is catchy.. guy looks odd though.
Belgium - Love it!
Greece - Also love it, hope it does well.
Iceland - Once again, love it!
Albania - Good.
Bosnia & Herzegovina - Not the worst, but won't do well in the final.
Russia - An absolute joke that crap got through.
Belarus - Can't even remember the song tbh, not a good sign.
Portugal - Nice song, nothing too special though.

Would've preferred Slovakia, Latvia & FYR Macedonia to get through rather than the last 3 ^

force eleven

Disappointed for Estonia - too off-centre for ole Eurovision, I think. I put a fiver each way on Slovakia today, expecting the price to be 33-1 as it has been for a while. It was 66-1 when i placed, which should have told me....

How that dirge of a Russian song got through I'll never know. Wait, its Eurovision, these things happen all the time. Shocking.

That was by a mile the weaker semi final - apart from maybe Belgium,which might be worth an each way punt now...

The heavyweights are on Thursday...

cats.life

force eleven wrote: »

Disappointed for Estonia - too off-centre for ole Eurovision, I think. I put a fiver each way on Slovakia today, expecting the price to be 33-1 as it has been for a while. It was 66-1 when i placed, which should have told me....

How that dirge of a Russian song got through I'll never know. Wait, its Eurovision, these things happen all the time. Shocking.

That was by a mile the weaker semi final - apart from maybe Belgium,which might be worth an each way punt now...

The heavyweights are on Thursday...

thought iceland was the HEAVYWEIGHT, she wore that tent of a dress.

soccymonster

Was just called downstairs because my uncle came home from Belgium.

I got a "I Brussels" t-shirt.

Gonna wear it in support of my future home country where I'll be living with my future husband

Coincidence? I think not, it's a sign! Belgium ftw!

sceptre

I popped this up on facebook earlier. No intention of editing it except fixing the links for BB code.

Please note that I typed this last night (May 25) while watching BBC3's coverage of the first Eurovision 2010 semi-final. I was so tired yesterday that I don't really remember doing either of these things. But this was left open in Open Office when I woke up this morning and it was obviously written by me. Bah, I'm off to the park.

When I was quite young and comparatively innocent, the Eurovision song contest was almost compulsory viewing each May. There are a few simple reasons for that.

For one, I had no musical taste whatever. As I got older I wondered why I knew next to nothing about pop music that had been released from about 1980 till about 1986 and realised that when Ireland's national broadcaster RTE launched their first pop music station, my parents didn't listen to it. Being only slightly aware that the frequency knob on the radio did something useful, I ended up listening to the same station as my parents for most of the 80s, while all the pop music had been moved to the other station (2FM). As an adult, I've spent a lot of time righting that particular wrong.

Secondly, it was a media event in a time when Ireland had precisely two TV channels, one of which didn't start broadcasting till teatime each evening and then only if someone remembered. Everyone watched it. I don't think we should be very proud of that but it's there as a fact.

Also, the voting was fascinating. The countries that always voted for each other (yes Greece and Cyprus, I'm looking at you). The countries that never voted for each other (Greece again as well as Cyprus but both of them avoiding a playful wink at Turkey). The countries that mostly did (Ireland and the UK, but the UK was far more generous with the points than the Emerald Isle). And adding up the votes, despite the additions being conveniently done on screen.

You may notice that I haven't mentioned the music. That's because most of it was terrible and laughable, and even a pre-teen with little musical taste knew that. But there were theatrics and there was drama. And there was always the chance for some sexy romping – in that pre-Internet early 80s, Cheryl Baker and Jill Aston getting their skirts ripped off during Bucks Fizz's performance of “Making Your Mind Up” was something of a heartwarming treat and worth staying awake for.

Of course, time passes, taste changes (or develops) and we grow up. What in the 1950s had started as an excuse for a post-war drinking session with new European buddies had by the late 90s turned into a spectacular (and I use that word rather generously) exposition of continental “talent”. I know I stopped watching. The last time I watched anything Eurovision was a semi-final in 2006 or so and I'm pretty sure I spent the two hours poking fun at anything that moved. Before that... erm... I think I might have watched it in 1994.

Most years throw up a gem or two, which almost never win. The tastelessness of the listening public knows no bounds. I think I have about six of those “Eurovision this year” albums, all downloaded and there's generally one good song on each. It's more trouble than it's worth. But for some reason I decided to watch the semi-final this evening, I suspect because Sherlock Holmes wasn't on ITV3. And for rubbernecking car crash curiosity. I watch these things so you don't have to. And, in order of performance, here's what you missed.


The performances as they happened (links to all of them included):

The Moldovans come on stage with all the swagger of people who don't know that Scooter aren't still selling records. Somehow they manage to combine the worst parts of 80s fashion with the worst parts of dodgy europop. I cringe. A lot. The singer is pretty but there's a reason models don't tend to sing much. It puts me in mind of the UK sales figures of Naomi Campbell's “Baby Woman” album, which sold 22 copies in its first week. Never mind, there's a bigger hole to be dug with some of the next 16 entries.

Russia. It's a bit early to be wondering about the state of mind of the people who voted this to be representative of the country but it appears to be some sort of horrific folk song that may have previously been rejected by Italy, who got the presence of mind a few years ago to never again enter a song.

The Estonian singer nods at the camera with a knowing smile after every six words. Perhaps he recognises that he's doing a combination of Pulp and the Mike Flowers Pops. It was funny when Mike Flowers did it. Meanwhile his piano accompanist is reaching for the piano like a monkey with a bladder problem. Somewhere in Tallinn, the country's last maker of velvet suits is giggling inanely.

Slovakia have entered a song called "Horekronia", which sounds like the name of a sci-fi B movie villain. The singer is surrounded by four Doctor Who background extras from the 1970s who have come dressed as bushes. More dodgy folk. This can't end well. Meanwhile there's a large lady in white hanging out at the side of the stage, presumably waiting to get in in the drama. At least the main singer is very good-looking, which almost makes up for her bum notes. A few notes from the fat lady yet the musical crime carries on. The BBC commentator comes in with some useful info that they're trying to be organic Enya. It's not as though I'm a massive Enya fan but Donegal's finest new age warbler has the ability to sing that these guys don't. They really should have tried the unnatural fertiliser that Enya uses, it would have helped.

For Finland, there's a cute little duet reminiscent of Mambo Italiano. Without the good bits. Another folk song. They're obviously having a great time on stage dancing around an accordion, even if no-one else in the stadium has any idea of what's going on. ABBA could have gone this way if they'd continued with their original sound. Mind you, nobody would have bought their records if they had. Nevertheless, so far I'd vote for Finland. They're at least better looking than most of the others, Finland being one of those countries that seems to hide the ugly girls away in some giant igloo in the north, never again to be seen.

The BBC choose to do a short interlude featuring the UK entrant. With a sequence showing him singing Julie London's “Cry Me A River” on the ferry. Worryingly for their chances of success, I sing it better than that in the shower.

Latvia has entered a girl called Aisha, singing a pseudo-French-style number. The song appears to be something to do with her Uncle Joe. It's unmitigated crap, even worse than the Slovakian attempt. Singing is not Aisha's forte. However, looking good and jiggling her ass is. From her body language, you'd honestly think she was closing out Madam Butterfly with a bang. I'd rather get my eyes removed with a spoon than ever hear that again.

Milan Stankovich's entry for Serbia is promising... for the first three notes. They're just like the opener of Dexys Midnight Runners' “Geno”. The notes after the first few aren't quite as successful or pleasant. He's dressed as a refugee from Cut Price Airlines with a voice to match. I wish him well in his future career as a hairdresser or a fake Fabergé egg salesman. Even bringing on two of Serbia's finest girls to romp around the stage in front of him won't save him from being beaten alive by the assembled masses when the cameras have been turned off.

Bosnia Herzegovina entrant has gone for New Wave clothing matched with the world's worst pair of cowboy boots (white). And it's a rock song, albeit a very bad one. I know Bosnians have had it bad over the past two decades, I've seen the state of parts of Sarajevo on the news. But if this is what works as rock music in the Balkans, perhaps the work of the snipers wasn't done.

I have high hopes for Poland. I'm a big fan of Anna Maria Jopek, who represented Poland in the Eurovision in 1997 (the Internet told me that after I decided I liked her music). High hopes that are soundly dashed when the the Polish bloke starts singing. It's awful soft rock. And not awful in that way that soft rock often is, it's actually really really bad soft rock. I bet he thinks he's doing Nightwish. Yah, I know they don't do soft rock, you'll have to watch it to see what I mean. May he die a thousand deaths, all of them painful. For some reason he gets one of his backing singers in a headlock as one of the other singers pulls off her top. It's not very Bucks Fizz.

Belgium has sent a guy called Tom Dice, singing a song called “Me and My Guitar”. Guess what instrument he's playing. Surprisingly, this isn't crap. Actually, for a Eurovision song, this is pretty good. Could do with a recognisable chorus though, as well as Lisa Hannigan standing behind him and singing along. So far, he's easily the best of the lot. It's also the least “Eurovision” of any of the songs – the pan-European song contest isn't famed for one man and his guitar songs.

What I like about Malta is that because it's a small country, given enough time, everyone in the country will be able to compete in the Eurovision. This year they've sent a girl to sing one of those intolerable “You Raise Me Up” type ballads, all about achieving things and reaching your goals. For some reason there's a guy behind her lifting and dropping angel wings. It's got the theatrics you'd expect from your local village drama group that you never go to see perform. It's not bad, it's just not very good.

Albania's entered a perfectly nondescript Eurovision pop song. She sings “It's all about you” a lot. I'll bet that's the title of the song. There's a violinist with hair like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. Thirty seconds after this song ends, no-one will be able to remember the tune. Never mind, it's very like Miami Sound Machine's Hot Summer Nights from Top Gun. That should help.

The Greek entry takes us back to the 1970s, even down to everyone wearing all white and thinking they're cool. Unfortunately it takes us back to the Greek Eurovision entries of the 1970s, which is not something we ever wanted to see again. Please die.

The Portuguese entry sounds as though it comes straight from the closing credits of an uplifting Disney movie about a cartoon frog who meets a cartoon donkey, doing wonderful things to save Asia from the invading Mongols on their travels. The singer has the same basic description as what I'm told is "[my] type based on history". I'll bet she's also about 5'8 tall. I'm trying to free myself from that particular cycle though so no points there. I've heard far worse so it probably won't qualify. If there's any justice it will though.

Time for FYROM or Macedonia - take your pick depending on whether or not you're the Greek foreign minister. It's terrible stuff. Middle aged balding bloke pumping out more of that Balkan soft rock while a trio of scantily-clad nymphettes hit a variety of naughty poses behind him. To make it worse, a Macedonian rapper comes out half way through for his piece of the action. Attention taste police: there's a problem in aisle 5. Again, I didn't notice a chorus. Perhaps the entire thing was written in vers libre.

Belarus arrive on with a band called 3+2. They've added a pianist, making six people on stage. That's the sort of mathematical result of which 1984's Ministry of Truth would be proud. I'm easily confused. Another “uplifting” effort that might as well have be "You Raise Me Up" played backwards. Half of it sounds like “When a child is born”. The rest of it sounds like a Christmas special that your mother would watch. The three girls have butterfly wings that pop up after about two minutes though. Extra points for that. Butterfly wings are hot. They should go through to the final just for the wings.

The Iceland entry is called “Je ne sais quoi”. No, that's not a mistake. It's half in English, half in French. It must have made sense to someone somewhere. It's a Cascada clone of a song. I've heard worse but, like everything done by Cascada, I've also heard much better. The singer's surname is Bjork but that's the only thing she shares with The Talented One From Iceland. More like Vanessa Amorosi. It's Eurovision flag-waving gold for people who like that sort of thing but I never want to hear it again.



There was a time when the Eurovision was a spectacle of awful trans-continental pop mixed with the worst folk music that money could buy. That hasn't changed. But it's now missing the boom-bang-a-bang visuals and dancing acrobatics, which were far more fun to be mean about. That's a shame – it's like these people are actually trying and still getting nowhere. Booo!

The epilogue:

You probably don't care which ten countries made it through to the final. I know I don't. But here they are anyway:

Bosnia Herzegovina
Moldova
Russia
Greece
Portugal
Belarus
Serbia
Belgium
Albania
Iceland

Odds of me watching the second semi-final or the final? I'd say slim. Then again, it can't be any worse...

If you've made it to the end, here's a convenient 5 minute recap of all the performances for your, erm, listening pleasure.

Closed ac

Why on earth would you type out such a long account for something you thought was crap? I don't get it..

antocann

it would suprise me if ireland get through tomorow , is it only me can every 1 see they dont want to win it anymore

Closed ac

antocann wrote: »

it would suprise me if ireland get through tomorow , is it only me can every 1 see they dont want to win it anymore

I think this is our best chance since the '90s tbh!