Eurovision 2010.

spongeman

Be de Jaysus me ould haddock you are a cynical young man.

The Express

Niamh to win? Fat chance.

eh...:eek:

WesternNight

The Express wrote: »

Niamh to win? Fat chance.

eh...:eek:

AH is that way *points*

Looking forward to tonight. I'm not expecting us to win, I'll be happy with a middle-of-the-table result tbh. Although higher would be nice too.

mike65

Sorry if this is a repost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGNXJLS8xZs

KnifeWRENCH

JonathanAnon wrote: »

As of now. Paddy power. Paddy Power Odds
2010 Outright Winner
Azerbaijan 2/1
Germany 3/1
Armenia 6/1
Israel 10/1
Turkey 12/1
Belgium 14/1
Denmark 14/1
Ireland 20/1
Greece 20/1
Norway 25/1
Iceland 33/1
Georgia 33/1
Romania 40/1
Cyprus 50/1
France 66/1
Ukraine 66/1
Portugal 66/1
Serbia 80/1
Spain 80/1
Albania 80/1
Moldova 80/1
Russia 125/1
UK 150/1
Belarus 200/1
B&H 200/1

Azerbaijan going on first will probably hurt their chances. I really like the German one, but the fact that they automatically qualify every year anyway makes people more reluctant to vote for them.
I can't understand why Israel is one of the favourites - that song was an absolute snorefest. Denmark are also too high up; there's no way that song that sounds like it's from a bad Disney movie will win.

I'd expect Ireland to finish somehwere in the middle. I like that Niamh is going on after the awful Belarus entry; that will make her seem brilliant by comparison. Unfortunately, she's followed by Greece, which will probably make everyone forget her. (Whether you love it or hate it, that Greek song is fecking catchy!)

I reckon the top 5 will be:
Azerbaijan
Germany
Armenia
Greece
Belgium
But no idea what order they'll come in. Georgia and Ukraine will also do well, and may possibly break that top 5.

And I reckon the UK will come last! :P Though Belarus and Moldova are almost as bad.

DJCR

mike65 wrote: »

Sorry if this is a repost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGNXJLS8xZs

I love this !!!!!!!!!! COME ON NIAMH!!!

BEST OF LUCK TONIGHT!!!

coconut5

Calculator bear! Brilliant.

jaffa20

KnifeWRENCH wrote: »

Azerbaijan going on first will probably hurt their chances. I really like the German one, but the fact that they automatically qualify every year anyway makes people more reluctant to vote for them.

I think it will improve their chances as their is voting the whole way through from the outset tonight which doesn't seem to be fair system for those that are performing near the end like Ireland.

I like the German song too. Hope they win if Ireland doesn't.

amdublin

Woo hoo!!!!! The big day is here!!!

It's for Youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

mike65

Frock-gate shocker

Two leading fashion designers have accused RTE of shoddy, unprofessional treatment and of being "led up the garden path" over the diva dress they created for Niamh Kavanagh in her bid to win the Eurovision Song Contest a second time.

This is the purple-and-pink chiffon, crystal-and-sequinned dress from couturiers Tyrrell & Brennan that RTE parked in favour of a "more stark look" for Niamh to wear in Oslo tonight.

The couturiers, Niall Tyrrell and Donald Brennan, had been tight-lipped since discovering that RTE was not using their gown which the national broadcaster commissioned five weeks ago at 10pc of the designers' usual fee.

However, as controversy over the 'frock wars' deepened, the two couturiers spoke yesterday about what had happened -- and how they discovered by accident on the internet that their dress had been replaced by one of similar colour, with diamante and chiffon details like theirs.

Surley this is the last thing Niamh needs! :eek: :pac:

JonathanAnon

I'm actually looking forward to it. Cant see how she can win but will certainly be interesting to see how the song gets on.. The thread here usually provides a bit of humour when the songs are boring.

This is the purple-and-pink chiffon, crystal-and-sequinned dress from couturiers Tyrrell & Brennan that RTE parked in favour of a "more stark look" for Niamh to wear in Oslo tonight.

hmmm. Not sure the low cut on this would have suited Niamh's chest..

WesternNight

We're on 10th tonight between Belarus and Greece, btw.

Not long now!

sceptre

Second half of my Eurovision experience. Yes it's long. I like words.

sceptre elsewhere on the Internet wrote:

Perhaps I should have taken my own advice and not watched the second Eurovision 2010 semi-final. But as I hoped, it was dramatically better than the first – at least the difference between finding an empty picnic basket and finding one with a half-eaten sandwich.

Here's the blow by blow, which I forgot to upload until today.


Lithuania has entered a group wearing costumes from The Office on top (white shirts and ties) and Rupert the Bear trousers (if that means, nothing, think of clowns). Giant foam instruments complete the professional look. It looks like five drunk accountants out for karaoke fun on a Friday night and is just as good. They whip off their trousers half way through to reveal their sequined underwear, which just hammers home the impression of the office night out gone too far. The only thing they're missing is making a ratarsed sexual pass at the nearest lamp-post. It's one of the worst songs you will ever hear.

Eva Rivas comes on for Armenia, looking like a clone of the Portuguese singer from Tuesday. The song is called “Apricot Stone”. A large apricot stone on stage completes the James and the Giant Peach vibe they've got going down. People dressed as local country peasants are hanging around the stage and not doing very much. The song isn't bad, just rather forgettable. Songs about getting your five pieces of fruit a day are like that. Eva Rivas has probably never been thrown out of bed for eating potato crisps though and will probably qualify just because of that.

The Israeli entry is a man that appears to have no facial expressions whatever. That'll be the botox. Worth mentioning that his surname is Skaat. It's about as far removed from the “controversial” (and naughty looking) 1998 Israeli winner Dana International as you can possibly get. Or their 2000 entry, PingPong. He sings a ballad that only Israelis will understand. It's called “Milim”, which translates as “Words”. I suspect that he's singing the periodic table of elements in Hebrew as a big joke for not letting Israel into the EU. Total Skaat.

Denmark has gone with a backing track that secretly rips off John Waite's “Missing You” and a main melody that owes a lot to “It's All Coming back To Me Now”. Secretly, that is, until everyone notices. I's a male-female ballad duet that ticks every flag waving Eurovision check box. Perfect for Saturday Night at the London Palladium as the wind machine gives their hair a good blowdry but no-one would pay money to hear this song. Happily I'm watching on free to air BBC3 with no advert breaks so it's costing me nothing. Otherwise I'd feel cheated.

Switzerland's main singer somehow manages to look like one of those guys that ogles young girls from behind the bus shelter. And not in that good way either. The song is called “Il pleut de l'or”, which obviously has something to do with golden showers. Don't let him near your children. He's brought three backing singers, all wearing dresses with colours that clash and styles that don't match. Heaven knows what the song is actually about, it's your standard forgettable eurofare uptempo ballad with drums. What I most notice is that he's wearing a shiny yellow-brown suit over a white teeshirt and white trainers. Seriously, don't let him near your children. Not quite as bad as the getup of Greece on Tuesday but even I recognise there's a fashion felony being committed in front of millions of people - right now while the fashion police are away eating doughnuts.

Sweden has joined Belgium in sending one person with a guitar. Who then dumps her guitar and gets a series of backing singers instead. The song's called “This is my life” and will appeal to pseudo-alternative types everywhere who can't convince themselves to listen to anything alternative. Anna Bergendahl might actually have a musical career after Eurovision, though she'll need far better songs for that.

Azerbaijan's song is called “Drip Drop”, which sounds naughty until you see the dress worn by the girl singing it and then somehow it seems filthy. She's coming down a stairs slowly as she sings, presumably to get a few extra votes for having legs. The song has the quality you might expect from a four year old child humming to herself in the sand pit. For some reason there's a guy dressed all in black (except for a red tie, which he's tucked into his shirt – time to call in the fashion marines) doing occasional and distracting dance moves behind her. While dance boy is distracting us, she hits all of her bum notes at once. The power of misdirection as pioneered by Houdini. At least she has legs up to her ass. And maybe beyond for all we know.

The Ukrainian singer arrives wearing a hoodie to appeal to the emo audience (don't worry, it comes off) and points to the audience in that accusatory way that defence lawyers like Ally McBeal do on TV when they've been most grievously wrong'd. And the wind machine is back to billow stuff. As far as I can tell, the song is about dystopian-world children not getting enough of a cultural education. It's a damned shame, there should be more songs lamenting that. She's tonight's front runner for the “I am closing out the greatest show in the world and my body language matches” award. The song's terrible pap by the way.

The song from the Netherlands is called Ik Ber Verlalie. Didn't he found Israel? The Dutch have finally discovered that sense of Eurovision theatricality that we've been missing – she sings sha-la-lee-sha-la-la a lot and there's a big jukebox affair behind her with a duo performing as mechanical drummer and maid. I'm pretty sure this song fulfils the Eurovision requirement of being about absolutely nothing. Three backing singers all appear to have their microphones turned off. This is pure Eurovision diamond-studded platinum. It's campy fun. And she's the cutest so far and can actually sing when the sha-la-lee-sha-la-la part gets going. With that in mind, if I was inclined to vote, I'd plump for this one as she clearly recognises that she's not singing Verdi.

Romania's “Playing With Fire” is the kind of thing that might go down a treat on a dancefloor with a heavier beat. It would get every gay vote in Europe if they remembered to put two men doused in baby oil behind the piano (baby oil women don't often turn up in public performances). It's rather good for a song contest and it's pretty catchy – of all the songs so far, its chorus is the one you're most likely to be humming the next morning on your way to buy a croissant. There's a marvellous seethrough double piano, which all the media will write about. Pretty much sure to qualify for the final, partly because they're wearing tight leather trousers.

Slovenia has a song that alternates Slovenian folk with nondescript rock every second verse. A song written by schizophrenics then. It's like something the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band would have done as a joke. I'd add more but I don't think I need to do that. You should watch the video on youtube though, it'll make you laugh.

Ireland is trying to bring penny whistles back with this year's ballad. With three gingers on stage at once, which is an invitation for a riot. As ballads go, Niamh Kavanagh has the advantage that she can actually sing. It should make the final but isn't good enough as a song to win. Niamh Kavanagh is one of only two singers in this year's competition who has released an album that I already have (Flying Blind, I bought it in 1995). The other is Germany's Lena, which I downloaded last week. That's two more than usual. Kavanagh can sing, albeit less well than she could when she won the competition in 1993 but the song just isn't very good. She's also wearing some sort of tight purple tent, another faux pas to slide by the fashionistas.

Bulgaria must have invested in all the kitchen foil in the country to clothe their singers this year. They've apparently taken their fashion tips from the Greeks as what isn't kitchen foil is white suit abandoned by Wham and aha in 1985. I'm pretty sure I considered wearing a confirmation suit like that. My mother got wise and put me in a dark blue blazer instead. Unfortunately, these guys appear to be orphans without a mother, saw Tom Hanks in Big and decided that white suits are still cool. The song is pretty goddamned awful and ends before it seems like it was supposed to. Maybe they turned off the power supply bang on three minutes.

Cyprus has hired a team of Welsh mercenaries to make an attempt for the Grand Prix this year. If it was a local talent competition they'd win. It isn't. Then again, there's a tradition of mercenaries winning the Eurovision – Celine Dion for Switzerland, Katrina and the Waves for the UK, Ireland's Fiona Sherry as half of Norway's Secret Garden, so who knows...

BBC3 do a short interlude featuring Germany's Meyer-Landrut. She's got a good chance of winning the thing, even singing with strange almost-unintelligible accent when singing in English that German people often pick up when they learn the language from Americans. As Germany gets a bye into the final as one of the big four, she is Miss Not Appearing In The Semi-final.

Croatia has entered a female trio called Feminem. Someone presumably thought that was funny when they thought of it. It's less a play on Eminem and more something that sounds like a tampon. They've adopted the tried and chart-tested method of putting three hot chickies in a group and making them sing. Shame the song isn't any good. They sound as though they're singing their history notes for tomorrow's big final exam.

Georgia's song is called “Shine”. Their stage performance has two boys dancing around the singing girl, while another girl lies prostrate at the edge of the stage. All I'm taking from that is that the main singer has troubles coming out. With the white suits returning again for the male dancers, I can't see how she could be confused at all. She's got a good voice and is let down by the song itself. Things that are called “Shine” and that are good: movies about piano players starring Geoffrey Rush, songs by Take That and albums by Bond. That is all. It'll go through to the final and go no further.

Turkey has gone for the grungy leather look and whatever passes for rock in Ankara. You don't ever want to hear this song again. They finish with a girl stripping out of biker gear, almost ignored by the camera man. Perhaps they should have just put her in the middle of the stage. It would have been better for votes. Even millions of German-based Turkish people with phone votes hopefully won't be enough to save them.


So who got through?

Georgia
Ukraine
Turkey
Israel
Ireland
Cyprus
Azerbaijan
Romania
Armenia
Denmark


Five countries don't have to appear in the semi-finals at all, here's a quick preview:

Norway, last year's winner, has sent a bloke who manages to look like he's presenting the show throughout his song. The song itself belongs at the end of a West End musical that no-one will go to see. Again, the “You Raise Me Up” school of song-writing. It's called “My Heart Is Yours”. It might sound better sung by a school choir group.

The UK entry was composed by Pete Waterman, who has never written a good song. That hasn't changed. Butlins redcoats sing songs like this the night before they send you home. It's called “That sounds good to me” and the song title is a liar. It's appalling ****.

Spain has demonstrated that only the pensioners vote for Eurovision songs there, as it's precisely the sort of thing that didn't give them success in the 1970s. Even Francisco Franco wouldn't have the balls to fiddle the vote in favour of this southern European dum-di-di ballad.

The German entry is an odd case. Lena Meyer-Landrut's version of “Satellite” is a lot better in its studio version than when she sang it live to win Germany's final. As the song's become a big hit across Europe already, I suspect they're hoping that she manages to up her live game a little or for people to vote for it based on what they heard on the radio.

France has entered its official World Cup 2010 song. I'm pretty sure Thierry Henry's handball is to blame for this. It's about as likely to win as “Vindaloo” by Fat Les would have been to win in 1998. Bars across France will sing along to it but they'll be drunk until July. As last year's French entry was sung by Patricia Kaas, one can assume that this year they're giving the contest the finger. Note for France: if you want to win, send Mylene Farmer singing something good.


So who's going to win?

No-one really cares. Let's be honest. We know the UK and France can't possibly want to win, given what they've sent. For most of the other countries, it's difficult to tell whether they're being ironic. What we can reasonably depend on is that the traditional bloc voting will come into play. If Cypriots vote for the ear-curlingly bad Greek song, we can be sure that they're doing it automatically. At least if the Greeks vote for Cyprus they can defend it on the grounds of musical taste. Germany is likely to give a strong vote to Turkey with the immigrant bloc and given the state of German porn, some of the natives might do likewise. The UK will probably give some points to Ireland and while I'm not a fan of the occasional Irish bitchiness to the UK, we may reciprocate despite their song being mind-blowingly awful. The Scandinavians will be nice to each other and Eastern Europe will be mutually self-satisfying. In the end, it doesn't particularly matter who wins. Most Eurovision winners are never heard of again - the entire thing is basically a good excuse to be campy or throw popcorn at the telly. And those are good enough reasons to watch it.

But... given that there will be a winner, non-annoying winners would be Belgium, Germany or Romania. However if you're betting money, pick Azerbaijan, Germany or Armenia. There will be a nice big picture of the winner in tomorrow's paper so you don't actually have to watch the final. If Lena manages to sing the first half of her song properly, she should win, although voters have the darnedest habit of doing something they shouldn't. Just pray that songs from Russia, Israel and Greece get roundly ignored. The baby god of your choice will cry for every point they get.

amdublin

While I think the Tyrell and Brennan dress is beautiful I don't think it was the best for Niamh - the material is too soft and would not support her enough. She needs the thicker velvety type material to pull her in and give her structure.

Sounds like bad management by RTE though.

amdublin

sceptre wrote: »

Second half of my Eurovision experience. Yes it's long. I like words.

Yeah I won't be reading this.

Eh thanks though.

mike65

I did,

Ireland is trying to bring penny whistles back with this year's ballad. With three gingers on stage at once, which is an invitation for a riot

Sceptre you are Ian O'Doherty and I claim my 5 euro!

JonathanAnon

amdublin wrote: »

While I think the Tyrell and Brennan dress is beautiful I don't think it was the best for Niamh - the material is too soft and would not support her enough. She needs the thicker velvety type material to pull her in and give her structure.

Ye was wondering about that. Do ye women people not have those magic slimming underwear things to make her look like the portuguese entrant? Or was she wearing something?

Toto Wolfcastle

I think that floaty thing would have been more flattering in her tbh. The tight dress was all wrong.

Who is doing the BBC commentary?

sceptre

mike65 wrote: »

Sceptre you are Ian O'Doherty and I claim my 5 euro!

I had to look up who Ian O'Doherty is (I flick through the online Indo, I think I've bought it once when I was mentioned in it and another time when they printed a letter).

janeybabe wrote: »

Who is doing the BBC commentary?

I believe it's the camp one from Bandon.

amdublin

Yes the girls in work seemed in awe of her "spanks/spanx" (obviously I do not know from experience what these are but I believe they are also known as "Bridget Jones'" or "big pants")

Nice!!!!

Janeybabe: Graham Norton?????

Toto Wolfcastle

Ah I'm torn now. Do I want to listen to Marty as he gets ever more excited or do I want to listen to Graham mocking the contestants?

WesternNight

janeybabe wrote: »

Ah I'm torn now. Do I want to listen to Marty as he gets ever more excited or do I want to listen to Graham mocking the contestants?

Marty mocks them a bit too, in fairness. Never heard Graham commentating though so I don't know how they'd compare. I wish there was a "mute commentator" button to press.

FearDark

I miss Wogan

Marty tries to be funny, he's just not a funny guy.

Toto Wolfcastle

I like the fact that Marty gets so excited and so nervous when Ireland come on. And also during the results. Actually, I'll just watch Marty for the results.

JonathanAnon

I'm wondering will Niamh be able to hit that big note tonight.. She might be better off just cutting the note short, like an abrupt ending. Sounded very hoarse the other night, I wonder has it cleared up at all in the last few days.

JonathanAnon

Jaysus, Creedon presenting Winning Streak (in place of Marty).

DJCR

Sceptre elsewhere on the Internet The Israeli entry is a man that appears to have no facial expressions whatever. That'll be the botox. Worth mentioning that his surname is Skaat. It's about as far removed from the “controversial” (and naughty looking) 1998 Israeli winner Dana International as you can possibly get. Or their 2000 entry, PingPong. He sings a ballad that only Israelis will understand. It's called “Milim”, which translates as “Words”. I suspect that he's singing the periodic table of elements in Hebrew as a big joke for not letting Israel into the EU. Total Skaat.

This has to break forum rules somewhere.... You took the piss out of his name!!!! :D:D:D

Just because your quoting yourself...... ohh...... narrow line your walking there!!!

Mr.Nice Guy

Comparing Marty to Graham Norton is like comparing Tubridy to Wogan. It's the BBC for me. I thought Norton was very funny last year.

As for the songs, I'll stick with my prediction of Azerbaijan but I hope Romania do it as that song is crazy catchy. Germany should be in with a good shout though if she can give a good performance.

Ireland will be lower half with Marty praising terrific Niamh.

Scorpion Sting

I think we have a decent chance even though the song isn't great. Really hope Niamh does well tonight.

WesternNight

It's BBC for me as well. Can't stand Marty...he does get awfully excited when we're on, but for the rest of it it's like he's not really interested...in a breathless sort of way. Really annoying.