wonder why he swallowed the..........

mr_staggerlee

you know sometimes the sun shines, you get out on yer bike and it's all going great ,muscles relaxed head wind no bother, climbing like a goat, ridiculous speeds with a follow wind.
you're sucking diesel and cooking with gas at the same time, this sport was built for you and you for it.
then it happens...THWACK
a big bug has gone and hit the back of your throat, you start retching wondering it's too far gone to spit! should you drink and drown it, feck me is it a stinger, am l destined to die of an allergic reaction at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. So your coughing + gulping, then the mind plays tricks , how long does it live in your stomach, will it become entwined with my own DNA , shall l be the first half man half insect on a bike, what will the doping boards say.
then your coughing like a 90yr old asthmatic who smoked 40 a day and worked down the mine till he was 70. People are staring now, you've slowed to a crawl a 9 year old girl has passed you on a tricycle and stuck her tongue out on passing.
make it home and drown it with whiskey, waiting for the morning to see if l can walk on the ceiling. :eek:

thebouldwhacker

mr_staggerlee wrote: »

a big bug has gone and hit the back of your throat, you start retching wondering it's too far gone to spit! should you drink and drown it, feck me is it a stinger, am l destined to die of an allergic reaction at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. So your coughing + gulping, then the mind plays tricks , how long does it live in your stomach, will it become entwined with my own DNA , shall l be the first half man half insect on a bike, what will the doping boards say.
then your coughing like a 90yr old asthmatic who smoked 40 a day and worked down the mine till he was 70. People are staring now, you've slowed to a crawl a 9 year old girl has passed you on a tricycle and stuck her tongue out on passing.
make it home and drown it with whiskey, waiting for the morning to see if l can walk on the ceiling. :eek:

And this is only his twelfth post... I see a great future for this one. go down a treat in the after hours forum:pac:

sy

Reminds me of a similar incident except in my case it was a (french) bee that I gulped in and yes the little s*** stung me before I could spit him/her out :eek:. At least I didn't swallow it. Arrived home with a very sore and swollen mouth. Needless to say I wasn't buzzing.:pac:

Beasty

sy wrote: »

Reminds me of a similar incident except in my case it was a (french) bee that I gulped in and yes the little s*** stung me before I could spit him/her out :eek:. At least I didn't swallow it. Arrived home with a very sore and swollen mouth. Needless to say I wasn't buzzing.:pac:

How do you know it was French?

You Irish are still not over that Thierry Henry incident, are you:p

Jawgap

I'm sure like everyone else I've swallowed my fair share of bugs - but my "favourite" insectivorous story concerns a wasp.

We were both buzzing along one day on the same road when Mr Wasp thwacked into and under my helmet - we both panicked - unfortunately he was one with the stinger and I was the one who had to stop the bike.

It's quite difficult trying to maintain one's composure while simultaneously being stung, stopping and trying to get your helmet off. Little fecker got about 3 good stings in before he escaped!

mr_staggerlee

l have spent the day lying on my back waving my arms and legs in the air.

no super powers a la jeff goldblum for me it seems

goldencleric

Beasty wrote: »

You Irish are still not over that Thierry Henry incident, are you:p

Don't worry Beasty I'm sure the whole nation will be "over that Thierry Henry incident" once the French get to play Engerland

... I'd like to add that cyclists like me who'd very much like the wear the Ag2r French champion's jersey are the real ones suffering in the turbulent affair!

steinone

A promising future here indeed, plus I just noticed the name, teehehe, I have a Stagger record beside me.

Victor

Cycling along the Dodder between Clonskeagh and Milltown one drizzley day, there was a sudden slight, but distinct "bang" on my helmet and a few seconds later a slimy liquid ran down the back of my neck.

I'm guessing Mr. Thrush was wondering where his dinner went.

sy

Beasty wrote: »

How do you know it was French?

You Irish are still not over that Thierry Henry incident, are you:p

It happened in France, so presumed it was a French bee :P

Who's Thierry Henry?

RobFowl

Beasty wrote: »

How do you know it was French?

You Irish are still not over that Thierry Henry incident, are you:p

Cheese eating surrender monkey commits blatant handball then denies it only to try to sympathise with Richard Dunne at full time.
Yeah we're over it ............

(Didn't ye invade us 800 years ago????)

SubLuminal

Chow down on the mother****er

Extra protein

Pedal harder

souter

A few years back on a fine summer evening I was bombing home along the N2 with a good tail wind feeling strong when I noticed a big dust cloud ahead of me. As I got closer the dust seemed to be strangely particulate. Then I enterred it and it was ping! ping! ping! as it transpired to be a swarm of bees.
I behaved like a combat veteran under sudden heavy fire i.e. sh@t myself and kept going.
As soon as I was out of it I baled off the bike and flung off the helmet to let some of our flower loving friends out. Thankfully took no stings but a colleague asked me the next day why I was doing a wardance by the roadside.