bullying manager

40040D

I recently started working as a barman in a medium sized pub/resturant. I've been there nearly 3months now, but the manager seems to have serious issues with me and confronting him seems to be pointless. However I have done so once or twice.

On the second week I was serving a customer a pint and when I turned around he kinda poked me as in he didn't move - and I had to move around him. I immediatley passed this onto my employer and I'm not sure if it was sorted or not.
He did so again one day to get my attention and I found this completely inaprppriate, but I kind of let it go.

Yesterday I was under massive pressure working the bar and in the wash-up, between serving customers on plates that were still hot from the washer to pulling pints @ the bar and putting the clean plates & cutlery back in the kitchen.

Anyway on my way back into the kitchen with 15 large plates in each arm; the manager was handing in an order into the kitchen, and bumped into me on his way out. Immediatley he poked me hard in the chest with his hand and said to use manners. I kind of lost the cool and told him 3 times "DON'T TOUCH ME". I felt this was appropriate and definitley got his attention. Unfortunatley this happened infront of the chefs (who I apologized to afterwards).

Can someone please advise me on this sort of situation, as I am not quite sure what to do should it happen again.
Thanks (sorry about the essay!)

munstergirl

Next time you go to work either go in early and ask him can you have a chat for 5 mins, or arrange short chat for next day.

Tell him politely you don't like him touching you, poking you, he night not even realise your offended by it.

Ask him how your work is going + is there anything you can do to improve it. Tell him you want to have good working relationship.

Nothing you have really said sounds like bullying to me more a case of you don't like him
You don't have to like your boss as long as your both professional.
Keep your cool, even talk quietly, best way to have meeting + sort it out.

There are plenty of asshole managers, but your only there 3 months.

InReality

I've never worked in a bar / resturant , but poking people as a way of getting their attention sounds way off to me.

Think the ^ post is your best approach.

You can keep in the back of your mind that yer man is definatly in the wrong , as technically , any unwanted contact is assault.

40040D

munstergirl wrote: »

Nothing you have really said sounds like bullying to me more a case of you don't like him

I never said I didn't like him now did I ?
This is the only problem I have with him, that and the way he looks down on people. Unfortunately talking with him is pretty pointless as I have already done it and its all his point of view and none of mine.

But thanks for the advice anyway

the_syco

Assuming you're a dude, check if he does this to others. It could be how he interacts with people. I've poked people in the past, but it's be usually in a playfull manner. If he does to everyone, it may be nothing, but if you're the only one he pokes, I'd say something is amiss then.

eth0_

Poking someone in the chest is confrontational and if you're a woman it could be seen as harassment BUT...if this has only happened a couple of times and until now he's just poked you in the arm, I really think you are overreacting!

TBH OP you sound very highly strung. You've said nothing to this guy despite being furious when he merely *poked you on the arm*, yet you complained to your boss about it (!), and then you explode at the guy when he pokes you in the chest? Quite strange, tbh.

doolox

Any unwanted body contact especially man to woman or vice versa is a big no-no in the work place, in my opinion.

I worked with a "lady" whose favourite intimidating tactic was to poke people in the chest when trying to get her way.

At the time I was not aware that gender and equal rights legislation work BOTH ways and provides as much protection to men from harrassment or violence as it does to women. I should have reported her immediately for such unwanted contact and bullying behaviour.
Get a meeting with you employer and report the creature immediately. Get a written report and get an undertaking that any unwanted contact should not happen in future. Do this politely, clearly and simply stating what you want to happen ( no contact) and for how long ( forever while at work) so neither party can weasle out in the case of future breaches of the rules.

40040D

thanks for the advice lads..n ladies. I've Spoke with him about it since and work is going a little bit better I suppose !

Thanks again