Worried about mother

LegacyUser

going unreg for this

i recently went on two dates with a guy and while we got on really well we just don't work as a couple. theres a number of reasons for this - but i wont go into those reasons on a public forum.

myself and himself have remained friends and stayed in contact, not a lot of contact, just a txt here n there

anyway every day since our second date (also our last date) my mother has been checking his facebook profile (she can only see his friends list cos she doesnt have her own fb page) and she has written down all the friends on his friends list. she has also written down the peoples names on his brothers, brother gf's and his sisters fb's.

she googles his (and possibly his friends/family too) name every day. and she also found out he (the guy i dated) is a member of some online forums and she checks his profiles on them. she searched through his posts and found out a lot of info about him that even i didnt no.

she spends about three hours in the morning and some time in the evenings searching about him online.

she is always asking me things about him (and his family), but i always tell her i dont know the answers cos he didnt tell me (he did tell me, but i wont tell my mum cos i dont know why she wants to know these things, they are none of her business)

i am always being told not to tell people (family) things (just general chit chat) cos in my mothers opinion 'it's private' my mother has such an issue with privacy and its beginning to worry me.

i want to put a facebook block on the pc, but a) don't know how to and b)if she goes to fb's website and it shows there's an fb block on the pc, she'd kill me.

to be honest, i cant leave my phone unattended cos i dont trust her not to read any txts and maybe try and get his number from my phone.

in the internet search history, i saw she looked at some forums about finding out peoples fb passwords and hacking emails etc, which has me worried.

what can i do? i am actually worried for both him & his family and also for my mothers mental health.

thank you

LegacyUser

can anyone give any help or advice please?

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

I think the reason no one has answered is because we're so baffled. Why would your mother stalk your ex and his family? That's basically what she's doing. Does she have a history of mental illnes, or obsessive behaviour? Does she feel angry at how you both split up? Is she just very nosy and is letting the anonymity of the internet go to her head?

My only advice to you would be to tell her that people can see who's searched for them on the internet and facebook and what's been read. If's she's as baffled by the internet as my parents she'll totally believe you and stop.

If there are other red flags with regards her behaviour I would say visit your gp to discuss it.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

op here

no she doesnt have a history of mental or obsessive behaviour, if she did then i could understand her looking/stalking them. i dont know if it is the anonymity go to her head.

i dont know if she is angry at why we stopped seeing each other to be honest. she has never mentioned it and when i ask her why she is looking at the profiles and writing down names all i get is 'theres no reason' and she will continue what shes doing.

there was a photo of his brother/sister in the paper recently and she cut it out and kept it. i dont know why.

she knows they dont know if she looks at their profiles cos she isnt logged in as she doesnt have her own fb account (that i know of anyway) and i sure as hell hope she doesnt get one.

yesterday, she spent about 30mins looking out the front window to see if she could see him or his brother coming home from work, she didnt see them (thankfully) but i dont know why she was watching out for them.

im half thinking of txting/phoning himself (my ex) and explaining this to him and maybe see if he can change his profile to 100% so she won't see his friends list and maybe see if he can get his brother, sisters and brothers gf to do the same, cos i really am worried about them.

i think i will go to her gp this week and explain this to him and see if he can help, cos i dont like her behaviour.

when she isnt working she spends all her time inside looking him, his family/friends up online.

thanks for your help...

lolli

Wow thats very strange.

Sounds to me like your mother might have a thing for this guy herself. Maybe she fancies him herself and can't stop thinking about him. I really can't see any other reason for such a strong obsession.

Ickle Magoo

I think you need to ask her straight out what on earth she is playing at and just how odd you find it and then I think you need to get her to a doctors ASAP. It's not normal behaviour and I would be extremely concerned about her mental well being. If she won't see a doctor then go to the doctor yourself and tell them what she is doing, I'd be worried she's moved from internet to looking for them in person and things could escalate further...

What does the rest of your family make of her behaviour? Does she have any close friends or family you could confide in and get to have a chat with her?

Best of luck.

tenchi-fan

I'd tell your mother to cop on and have some respect for your privacy.

Or maybe give her a taste of her own medicine to show her how unsettling it is. Pick one of her friends and give them the same treatment.

Busi_Girl08

tenchi-fan wrote: »

I'd tell your mother to cop on and have some respect for your privacy.

Or maybe give her a taste of her own medicine to show her how unsettling it is. Pick one of her friends and give them the same treatment.

DON'T DO THIS.

No disrespect meant to you, Techi-fan, but this is just going to make things worse.
Your mum is behaving pretty strangely right now, who knows what she will do next. If you start any childist tit-for-tat exercise, it is probably going to justify in her mind that you are doing this right, that she is protecting you or whatever.

Be grown up about this. Just turn around and confront her. If she is writing down names, take the pen out of her hand, if she is on the computer, turn off the screen. Don't make some passing comment or query, and then let her carry on. Just stop her from what she's doing. Tell her that this is not on, and demand from her why she is doing this.

LegacyUser

lolli wrote: »

Wow thats very strange.

Sounds to me like your mother might have a thing for this guy herself. Maybe she fancies him herself and can't stop thinking about him. I really can't see any other reason for such a strong obsession.

op here

i really hope that isnt the reason she is looking him, his family/friends up online, i honestly think i would disown her if it is the reason. my mother fancying my (now ex) bf, the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

----

anyway, i took some advice posted here & i asked her straight out why she continuously looks him, his family/friends up online and she snapped "it's my business who i look up, it's none of your f*ckin business & dont interfere on me or what i do"

she also went on & on about who he (my ex) and his family/friends know, who also (the people they know) happen to know some members of our family, and my mother kept telling me to 'keep my mouth shut' and 'tell no one anything'

since i asked her, she has been in a horrible mood, snapping & barking at everyone.

i will speak to her gp this week & see if he can help.

thanks for all the help so far

Faith

That's absolutely bizarre. I wonder if there's some history there that you don't know about? Maybe your mum has/had some relationship with one of his parents, or him? He's not her secret love-child that she gave up for adoption or anything, is he?!

Best bet is to chat to her GP alright. Does she have any brothers or sisters you could talk to?

tenchi-fan

I think the mother is just being a bit controlling. It's normal to some extent.. although in this case she's clearly overstepping the mark.
The fact she's lying to herself by claiming it is her business who she looks up.. clearly she wouldn't be doing this had you not dated the guy.

Alternatively...... It is possible she took a liking to the guy... if that's the case I say leave her to it! Maybe she's menopausal and her hormones are all over the place.

LegacyUser

Faith wrote: »

That's absolutely bizarre. I wonder if there's some history there that you don't know about? Maybe your mum has/had some relationship with one of his parents, or him? He's not her secret love-child that she gave up for adoption or anything, is he?!

Best bet is to chat to her GP alright. Does she have any brothers or sisters you could talk to?

op here

i dont think there is a history, he never mentioned anything & neither has my mam. they only saw/spoke to each other when i was around. i somehow dont think he is a secret love child lol

she does have brothers & sisters, but i cant talk to them, some live abroad & the ones that are here, will only blab back to my mam & tell her everything i said & would probably add a few bits in themselves.

tenchi-fan wrote: »

I think the mother is just being a bit controlling. It's normal to some extent.. although in this case she's clearly overstepping the mark.
The fact she's lying to herself by claiming it is her business who she looks up.. clearly she wouldn't be doing this had you not dated the guy.

Alternatively...... It is possible she took a liking to the guy... if that's the case I say leave her to it! Maybe she's menopausal and her hormones are all over the place.

can you explain to me how is it normal for a parent to control their adult-daughter? and stalk her ex bf & his family + friends?

no one i know has behaved like this.

i really really hope she hasnt taken a liking to him, i would be absolutely thoroughly disgusted if she did. if she had a bf & i took a romantic/sexual liking to him, she wouldnt be long about disowning me.

she's in her mid-late 40's, so i guess it is possible for the menopause hormones to start kicking in

Miss Fluff

You need to get her to see a GP as a matter of urgency. Behaviour like this can be attributed to early dimentia or far worse a brain tumour. Uncharacteristic and/or a sudden shift in behaviour simply has to be investigated by a medical professional.

On another note, you are posting anonymously so if you can, it might help to tell us why the dating didn't work out. You said this might possibly be the reason for her behaviour but haven't told us why.

i dont know if she is angry at why we stopped seeing each other to be honest.

Is there more to this story than you are letting on?

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You need to get her to see a GP as a matter of urgency. Behaviour like this can be attributed to early dimentia or far worse a brain tumour. Uncharacteristic and/or a sudden shift in behaviour simply has to be investigated by a medical professional.

On another note, you are posting anonymously so if you can, it might help to tell us why the dating didn't work out. You said this might possibly be the reason for her behaviour but haven't told us why.

i dont know if she is angry at why we stopped seeing each other to be honest.

Is there more to this story than you are letting on?

op here

we stopped seeing each other because in his words 'we just dont work as a couple'

there is absolutely no other reason that i know of. i did ask him to be honest when he dumped me and this was as honest as he was

Cheap Thrills!

whattothinkordo wrote: »

op here

i dont think there is a history, he never mentioned anything & neither has my mam. they only saw/spoke to each other when i was around. i somehow dont think he is a secret love child lol

He may not know anything or perhaps your Mother disclosed something to him that you aren't aware of.......his reason for splitting was kinda vague.

He may be related to either your Mother or Father or maybe it's nothing like that. I could be putting two and two together and getting 5.

It's just something about the way she is studying his family, as if she is trying to piece something together....

Is your Mother snappy and unreasonable about other things or just this?

whattothinkordo wrote: »

she's in her mid-late 40's, so i guess it is possible for the menopause hormones to start kicking in

Could be. So is her general demeanour bad or just with respect to this subject..?

LegacyUser

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

He may not know anything or perhaps your Mother disclosed something to him that you aren't aware of.......his reason for splitting was kinda vague.

He may be related to either your Mother or Father or maybe it's nothing like that. I could be putting two and two together and getting 5.

It's just something about the way she is studying his family, as if she is trying to piece something together....

Is your Mother snappy and unreasonable about other things or just this?



Could be. So is her general demeanour bad or just with respect to this subject..?

I dont know to be honest. i have never met my dad & dont know anything about him so i dont know if my dad & my ex bf are related, so i cant really comment on that. as for being related to my mum, i dont know, i wouldnt have thought so.

yes, she is snappy about other things. she gets into bad moods very easily & very often.

i have never seen her this way before which is also why i am baffled as to why she's suddenly started behaving like this, i just cannot understand it, i cant seem to find/think of any reasons to justify this behaviour..

dudara

This is such bizarre behaviour - it makes me think that she has *some* reason for doing this. I think that you'll have to ask her why she's doing this.

Maybe she's just bored and nosy? I know quite a lot of people who obsessively look up stuff about their exes and their new partners on FB and other sites, because it's there. It's so easy now to find out anything about anyone and it can become like a habit. Perhaps it's just that? Does she have a lot of spare time?

LegacyUser

[quote=[Deleted User];66291666]Maybe she's just bored and nosy? I know quite a lot of people who obsessively look up stuff about their exes and their new partners on FB and other sites, because it's there. It's so easy now to find out anything about anyone and it can become like a habit. Perhaps it's just that? Does she have a lot of spare time?[/QUOTE]op here

she has a lot of spare time. she works part time (her hours were reduced as not enough work) and she does nothing when she's not working, just sits in the house and researches him, his family/friends online.

---

i spoke to doc, there's nothing he can do to help as she doesnt think theres anything wrong/abnormal about my mothers mental health or what shes doing. unless my mother does something drastic (kidnap, murder, threats) doc cant do anything to help unfortunately

i asked my mother again last night about her looking him up online (i went to the loo at 3.50am and saw the lights were on downstairs so i came down and saw her on the pc) and she said 'facebook is free for everyone so if i want to look someone up i will' 'it is none of your business who i look up or why i look them up'

she has also become obsessed with some girls facebook, she found this girl through his facebook friends list.

is there a facebook block i can get that when you go to visit facebook it just shows a blank white page rather than a page saying 'XXX has been blocked from this computer' or something?

thanks

Miss Fluff

Have you asked her if this has naything to do with your Dad? It is so so bizarre.....

You should probably ask over on the Tech forum. Is it your PC? Maybe you could put parental controls (ironic eh:eek:) on it and block Facebook as one of the sites perhaps??

Honestly, it sounds like she's bored and lonely. She has no drama in her life so she's nosying around on Facebook. Being online at 4am can be a sign of internet addiction but the doctor is right. She's not doing anything dangerous. She's right. Facebook is free to use and if people leave their profiles open, she has every right to view them. It's NOT stalking. It annoys me when people refer to this as stalking. If these people made their profiles private, she wouldn't be able to nosy at them. If they're happy to leave them wide open, that this is the risk they take. It's not like she's sending abuse, she's just looking.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think anyone has suggested that looking on a FB page equates to stalking...I'm assuming it was the

in the internet search history, i saw she looked at some forums about finding out peoples fb passwords and hacking emails etc, which has me worried.

and the

yesterday, she spent about 30mins looking out the front window to see if she could see him or his brother coming home from work, she didnt see them (thankfully) but i dont know why she was watching out for them.

and the

she spends about three hours in the morning and some time in the evenings searching about him online.

That made people think there was slightly more to it than your run of the mill FB nosiness.

LegacyUser

Hi, have read most of thread, so forgive me OP, if you have already answered this. Could your mother be menopausal?? When my Mother was, ok, she didn't act quite that bizarrely, but certainly out of character. One thing that stuck in my head was I became pregnant whilst still in my teens, and she was going through the change, amongst other things she was obsessed with finding out where I got pregnant ie where the deed took place. Not to make light, but as it could have been any of several places, I couldn't have specified. I found this quite disturbing, that she would want to know this. Kinda freaked me out tbh

OS119

Hi OP,

would it be possible for you to have a delicate, exploratory chat with your ex - see if he can shine any light on this?

i'd agree with Ickle Magoo's suggestion that his is waaaay beyond boredom and curiosity - this is proper stalking (or, at least, preperation for proper stalking) - there has to be a 'good' reason for her to go down this road: she's either unwell - mentally or physically - or family history is rearing its ugly head and she's following a course of action that looks like it'll end in tears.

perhaps you could let your ex know he has a stalker - you could attempt to keep it from him quite who the stalker is - and urge him to change the privacy settings on FailBook and any other 'net based material he has, and maybe get him to ask his friends to do the same thing...

potentially embarrassing perhaps - but not nearly as embarrassing as being rung at 3am by your ex because your mum is yelling the place down and lobbing her knickers at his bedroom window.

my sympathies.

LegacyUser

HMM
This is embarrassing, but is it actially possible as an FB user to see who is viewing your profile?

LegacyUser

I would be raging if I was in your situation. There's NO WAY I'd let my mother away with the response of 'it's not your business.' I would very firmly say it is my business and actually not your business. I would have it out with her completely and tell her she is being freakish and stalker-like! Ask her what business is it of hers what someone you went on two dates with is up to! I'd tell her in no uncertain terms it would be the last person she ever had any connection with in my life. You are taking this way too easily. You need to stand up to her and tell her to stop this scary behaviour! You need to make her see sense.

OS119

guestuser wrote: »

HMM
This is embarrassing, but is it actially possible as an FB user to see who is viewing your profile?

assuming the person has sufficiently relaxed security settings on their FB page, and assuming the person viewing does not have an FB page of their own, then no. however, the concern is that the 'virtual', anonymous stalking will turn into real-life, unanonymous stalking - as it appears to be starting to do.

watching for 30 minutes through a window for someone to walk past isn't a million miles from 'innocently' walking to the shops at the time the 'stalkee' is usually around and 'bumping into them'.

'bumping into them' in the street on a regular, but oh-so-coincidentally basis isn't a million miles from sending them your knickers in the post or throwing paint stripper over their car - and that will be embarrassing....

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Have you asked her if this has naything to do with your Dad? It is so so bizarre.....

You should probably ask over on the Tech forum. Is it your PC? Maybe you could put parental controls (ironic eh:eek:) on it and block Facebook as one of the sites perhaps??

op here

i havent asked her anything about my dad and i wont. i honestly dont know how she'd react about him.

if i ask in the tech forum i have to log-in & post with my username & i want to stay anon.

my mother could well be menopausal, she is in her mid-late 40s & still has her periods.

i guess i could talk to my ex, but he is away at the moment, i dont know when he is back home.

it would be embarrassing, but he is a very understanding guy

if i 'had it out with her completely' i would be kicked out and left homeless. so unfortunately that isnt an option.

thanks for all the help so far, i appreciate it.

LegacyUser

op here again.

my mam asked me to check her txt msgs the other day (a new txt came through and she was doing something & unable to open the msg herself) I accidentally clicked on the 'draft' folder & saw she had a blank message & it was meant to be sent to his number. i then checked the 'sent' folder & saw no msgs to/from him. so then i checked the call logs & she had a received call from his work number on 15/7 (nealy 2mths after he stopped seeing me). i checked her contacts list & she had his mobile number, so i deleted it (i just left his name) & she hasn't noticed his number missing yet (if she did notice, she'd say it to me.ask me about it). i also removed his number from the 'draft' message & put in a very old mobile number (which is out of service now).

she also doesn't look him, his family/friends up online as much as she used too. only sometimes, she will search for him on Facebook.

i havent asked her about the txt/calls/her having his number, but I will continue to keep a check on her phone for any clues which may shed some light,

i know you'll probably tell me, i am crazy for checking her phone, but i want to know why she has/is contacting him.

i am so confused by all of this behaviour

i am no expert but [Mod edit:that right you are not so please to not attempt to diagnose people.] she is not old do you think she is trying to live through you ? would you take up some form of activity with your mum help her get out a bit ? do you think she was in love with your ex? poor woman sounds lost to me

KittyeeTrix

OP, I obviously don't know your mum so please forgive me if this is out of line but is there any chance in the world that something like an attraction may have occured between them leading to something which may have caused him to leave your relationship???

I only ask because I'd imagine if she had rung or text him after yer breakup to discuss your relationship then he surely would've gotten onto you to complain about her!

failing this explanation I would agree with other posters who have said that she could well be experiencing some mental difficulty at this time.......

It must be head wrecking for you dealing with all this weirdness!

Can I ask what age you and your ex are and do you think anything may have happened between them?

Again, I do hope I haven't offended you by posing the question!!:)

astra2000

Hi op maybe now you could contact your ex and mention that you saw a call from him to your mums mobile you could say that you came across it accidentally (which you did) and ask what it was about. To be honest your mothers behavior is really strange and the fact that you only went out twice makes it even more so. You could ring your ex and not mention any of the stuff about fb or maybe if you were out and got chatting you could mention the call. Did you talk to her gp?

Hey, there is no way she can 'hack' a facebook profile. Unless she is able to make keyloggers, which i would very much doubt. And i know this because i know abit about hacking myself.

I wouldn't worry about her 'hacking' it, just tell your man not to open any mail he is doubtful about and when opening a link, to copy and paste it to the address bar instead of clicking on it.

For your phone, does it have an option to set a password so when you go to enter your messages it asks you to input a code?

If not get a new one which does.

LegacyUser

prob wants you to keep going out with him cos she likes him

Travel is good

OP I've just read through all this thread and I am very worried about your mum. I know you said your doctor didn't think that there was anything wrong. Someone I know displayed this type of similar behaviour.

Please can you get a 2nd opinion & get her to a doctor?

Zen65

This is odd behaviour alright.

Perhaps she has a soft spot for him, or perhaps she feels threatened that he might be the one to take you away from her? Have there been other ex's? Did she meet any of them? Is this her first experience of a guy going out with you?

It may be much more innocent. Perhaps she's bored and finds it interesting to "stalk" somebody online? Perhaps she said something to him that she regrets and wonders if he's going to reveal her secret?

I think you need to contact him and see if he knows, and find out if he's had any contact with her since you broke up.

Be at peace,

Z

Or your Mother and him are doing the business behind your back.

VinnyTGM

Mak_United wrote: »

Or your Mother and him are doing the business behind your back.

This is my thought aswell, why would he be ringing your mother?
What did the draft message say?

LegacyUser

@ Desmond Chilly Suffix

I have asked my mother about both of us joining clubs, doing stuff together & all I get is 'i'll think about it'. never a yes or no.

i have lost count of the amount of time i've asked her about doing stuff together.

@ fluffyorganic1 & @ Zen65

he is the only guy i've been serious about, yes.

i have dated other guys, but that was when i was a teenager, i have been single since i was 15 or thereabouts.

i wont give exact ages in case someone recognizes the situation, but we are in our early twenties.

you havent offended me. if i am honest, the thought of the being together (as a couple) has crossed my mine more than once, and it seems to me like the only reasonable explanation for this bizarre behavior. as the saying goes, it takes two to tango...

@ astra2000 if i contact my ex, ask him about this and if there is something, the he will most lily tell my mum & then they/she will be more careful and i wont get anywhere near her phone to check her texts etc.

i no it is wrong of me to search her txt/phones, but i have no other way of finding anything out & if there is something going on, i'd like to know, cos it would make me feel better & stop me worrying/stressing

yes i spoke to her gp, in this post, i explained about seeing her gp

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=66340297&postcount=19

@ Mak_United no my phone doesnt have that option

i cannot afford a new phone at the minute

@ VinnyTGM

the draft msg was blank, see here

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=67202279&postcount=29

thanks for all the replies.

i know this is a really horrible thing to say & i dont mean it in a nasty way, but i am really beginning to wish i never met/dated him cos if i never met him/dated him, probably none of this behavior would be happening. i am just so annoyed at the pair of them.

Sound Bite

OP, your mother's behaviour is not right or normal.

I would be very worried if I were you.

At best, she's developed an unhealthy attraction to him & its possible he's ok with this. There may even be something going on between them.

Worst than that, there's a chance as said already that maybe he's related in some way.

<Snip>

Have you any siblings you can talk to? or does she? Could they raise this issue with her?

Either way you cannot ignore this or treat it as a little bit strange. Its well outside normal behaviour and you need to pursue it, for both you sake and hers, until you get a reason for it.

Good Luck

Miss Fluff

whattothinkordo wrote: »

and stayed in contact, not a lot of contact, just a txt here n there

I really think it is time you found out what is going on here once and for all OP. You need to get in touch and find out why he phoned your mother a couple of weeks ago. I think there is a possibility that he is involved with your mother in some way, or that he is related to you through the father you don't know. So what I'm saying is, you might not like what you discover but it seems you do need an explanation for this bizarre behaviour once and for all.

up for anything

whattothinkordo wrote: »

i recently went on two dates with a guy and while we got on really well we just don't work as a couple.

myself and himself have remained friends and stayed in contact, not a lot of contact, just a txt here n there

whattothinkordo wrote: »

he is the only guy i've been serious about, yes.

i have dated other guys, but that was when i was a teenager, i have been single since i was 15 or thereabouts.

I've been reading your thread with interest since the first time you posted but within replying because something didn't quite jibe for me.

You say you had two dates with this guy and no contact since then except for a few texts and yet you say too that he is the only guy you have been serious about. How can you say that on the basis of a couple of dates. Why didn't you work well as a couple. You say that you can't go into it on a public forum and yet you have given a lot of other information.

It strikes me that maybe the problem lies not just with your mother, but with you as well. You are in your early 20s and yet you haven't been on any dates since you were 15 except the two with this particular man. Maybe the reason for her researching him, his family and his doings have to do with her worrying about your well-being and not to do with any personal interest she may have in him.

I get the impression you live in small town Ireland from what you say about her watching for him to pass by on his way home from work and yet you say she doesn't know anything about him or his family.

Is there any chance you could give us more background to work from?

spinandscribble

up for anything wrote: »

It strikes me that maybe the problem lies not just with your mother, but with you as well. You are in your early 20s and yet you haven't been on any dates since you were 15 except the two with this particular man. Maybe the reason for her researching him, his family and his doings have to do with her worrying about your well-being and not to do with any personal interest she may have in him.

I assumed she meant serious as in, first guy she properly liked then just teen stuff (meet me on the wall after dinner). That doesn't mean there anything wrong with her, theres loads of good reasons why shes been single.

I think you need to get to the bottom of this op, ask to borrow your moms phone to make a call, go to the phonebook in it and say "oh mom why are you two calling eachother?" don't let her give you any none of your business since this isn't her friend, this is a guy you dated.

I am curious as to why after only two dates your mother had met him a few times?

FortyPlusHubby

spinandscribble wrote: »

I am curious as to why after only two dates your mother had met him a few times?

I think we're all curious about this, it's one of the most intriguing posts here. But remember OP needs to approach this issue with her mother in her own time, not just to satisfy our curiosity.

Cheers,

40pH

spinandscribble

yes and shes asking us for help to figure it out so we're telling her how we'd approach the problem.

gossipgal08

Ok how about this. Ring your Ex and ask him to meet you for a chat. Go some where public as this might control both your reactions. Tell him you know there has been contact between him and your Mum since you two broke up and that if they are seeing each other it is ok (even if it is not)But you need to know what is going on as you are Very Worried about your Mum right now.

Could your Mother be trying to marry you off. She sounds a bit like my Gran when I am seeing someone