3 Buddies & A Duck Hunter

MonkieSocks

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked,
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says,
“I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second guy says,
“I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last guy replies,
“I would like to hear them say… LOOK!!! HE’S MOVING!!!!!”

__________________________________________________ ______

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.....

He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.

Just then a gust of wind blew; the gun fell over, and discharged... Shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news...

The good news is that you are going to be OK.

The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.'

'What's the bad news?' asked the hunter.

'The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis.

I'm going to have to refer you to my sister.'

'Well I guess that isn't too bad,' the hunter replied.
'Is your sister a plastic surgeon?'

'Not exactly.' answered the doctor.

'She's a flute player in the Syracuse Symphony.

She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you can pee without making a mess.