Christening & how much to priest

Smiley Burnett

snuggles09 wrote: »

The only reason any of mine were baptised and most recently made communion was to give them the option if they want to marry in a church in later life..i don't agree with anything that has gone on in the church the last 5 decades nor does anyone else if they are honest but it doesnt stop people marrying in the church and baptising their children, it's just the "done thing" in todays society..when i see a bishop tell children at mass that they should swim against the tide and have the courage to stand up against things that are sometimes difficult i think back on how he stood by and did sweet f*** all when children were being raped right under his nose (not literally)..and that to me is more hypocritical

granted not all priests are like that but it's hard with whats come to light for people not to tar everyone with the same brush

With regards to the original post, I'd have no problem paying for light, heat etc for the church but I don't see why a priest should line his pockets when carrying out what are his duties and what he signed up for when he enrolled to become a priest

As another poster said there are priests who will refuse to take the money and those are the priests that I would have time for not the hand out give me money type..when I was having my second daughter christened the priest made a point about giving a "donation" so i didnt bother..if he has to harp on about it he can go f*** to be blunt

you're nothing but a hypocrite, who hasnt the guts to stand up and be counted!! If you feel like this, and you are certainly entitled to, why do you continue to interact with the church???

juleserino

Why not let your children make up their own mind when they are old enough to do so. Indoctrinating them into an organization that advocates the suppression of incidents of child sexual abuse by its clergy hardly makes any sense.

It was and continues to be little more than a club for pederasts.

snuggles09

Smiley Burnett wrote: »

you're nothing but a hypocrite, who hasnt the guts to stand up and be counted!! If you feel like this, and you are certainly entitled to, why do you continue to interact with the church???

I don't interact with the church. I'm not marrying next year in a church. I have nothing to do with the church but my daughter attends a catholic school, the same one that I did and all my family have and she was enrolled before all this church malarky came to light..so what am i to do? pull her out of the school and away from all her friends for reasons she would have no comprehension of?

I dare anyone on here to come on and say that even though they despise whats going on in the church they have decided to pull their children from their schools, away from their friends and decided that they won't be making their communion and confirmation in light of it

Make me the scape goat if ye will but I'm one of hundreds of thousands of parents within Ireland today who cannot stand organised religion, what it represents but also has my child in a Catholic school. Agreed it makes my hypocritical but I'm not going to allow my children to suffer up heavel because of what has gone on within the church.



And just to add, at my nieces confirmation I think I was the only person in the church who didnt shake the hand of the bishop when I was meant to, turned my back and walked away and also didnt applaud him as he walked down the aisle at the end of the mass

I believe in God, I don't believe in organised religion and the raping and molesting of children. In school my children learn about God which I think is a good thing..It's the paedophile priests and bishops I've a problem with, not my children learning about God

Smiley Burnett

snuggles09 wrote: »

I don't interact with the church. I'm not marrying next year in a church. I have nothing to do with the church but my daughter attends a catholic school, the same one that I did and all my family have and she was enrolled before all this church malarky came to light..so what am i to do? pull her out of the school and away from all her friends for reasons she would have no comprehension of?

I dare anyone on here to come on and say that even though they despise whats going on in the church they have decided to pull their children from their schools, away from their friends and decided that they won't be making their communion and confirmation in light of it

Make me the scape goat if ye will but I'm one of hundreds of thousands of parents within Ireland today who cannot stand organised religion, what it represents but also has my child in a Catholic school. Agreed it makes my hypocritical but I'm not going to allow my children to suffer up heavel because of what has gone on within the church.



And just to add, at my nieces confirmation I think I was the only person in the church who didnt shake the hand of the bishop when I was meant to, turned my back and walked away and also didnt applaud him as he walked down the aisle at the end of the mass

I believe in God, I don't believe in organised religion and the raping and molesting of children. In school my children learn about God which I think is a good thing..It's the paedophile priests and bishops I've a problem with, not my children learning about God

not all priests are paedophiles you know!!

dayshah

snuggles09 wrote: »

The only reason any of mine were baptised and most recently made communion was to give them the option if they want to marry in a church in later life..

???

If you don't believe in organised religion fair enough. I've no problem with that.

But why should anyone have the option of marrying in a church if they don't believe in it. Why not leave your children unbaptised, and then when they are old enough they can make their own decision. People can be baptised and make their first communion at any age.

As for schooling, where do you think Muslim, Jewish, atheist and Protestant children go to school? They don't all have their own schools, even Protestants send their children to 'Catholic' schools if thats what is in their area. Plenty of national schools merely have a Bishop as a patron. A child doesn't have to be Catholic to go there.

Maybe some parents (especially from mixed families) don't believe in a religion that their child is confirmed in. Fair enough. You don't have to kneel before anyone. But to turn your back on someone is just rude.

snuggles09

i never once said they were ..did you read my previous posts where i said that they werent? and i said it was "paedophile priests" i had a problem with as in preists who are paedophiles..did i ever say all priests are paedophiles? no i dont believe it did ou coming

you coming for beers on the 3rd of july? can you imagine this conversation over pints?:D carnage..lol

snuggles09

dayshah wrote: »

???

If you don't believe in organised religion fair enough. I've no problem with that.

But why should anyone have the option of marrying in a church if they don't believe in it. Why not leave your children unbaptised, and then when they are old enough they can make their own decision. People can be baptised and make their first communion at any age.

As for schooling, where do you think Muslim, Jewish, atheist and Protestant children go to school? They don't all have their own schools, even Protestants send their children to 'Catholic' schools if thats what is in their area. Plenty of national schools merely have a Bishop as a patron. A child doesn't have to be Catholic to go there.

Maybe some parents (especially from mixed families) don't believe in a religion that their child is confirmed in. Fair enough. You don't have to kneel before anyone. But to turn your back on someone is just rude.

well i dont have a time machine so cant go back and have them unbaptised but hand in heart i can say if i was starting over again i wouldnt have them baptised but whats done is done and i cant change it

and do i feel bad for turning my back on a bishop who turned a blind eye to the rape and buggery of children? what do you think? yes i'm such a rude and terrible person:rolleyes:

dayshah

snuggles09 wrote: »

well i dont have a time machine so cant go back and have them unbaptised but hand in heart i can say if i was starting over again i wouldnt have them baptised but whats done is done and i cant change it

and do i feel bad for turning my back on a bishop who turned a blind eye to the rape and buggery of children? what do you think? yes i'm such a rude and terrible person:rolleyes:

Then why go in the first place?

snuggles09

dayshah wrote: »

Then why go in the first place?

for my niece..what am i to do? refuse to be my god daughters sponsor? dont think so..on paper (or written here) then maybe yes thats what SHOULD be done but in reality we all just get on with it..i'm not in the minority by any stretch of the imagination..there are plenty of children who made their communion and confirmation this year who havent seen the inside of a church for the rest of the year

juleserino

dayshah wrote: »

You don't have to kneel before anyone. But to turn your back on someone is just rude.

Simply terrible what she did.:) Probably smoke a turd in purgatory for that one...I mean whats your point dude? That was her symbol of protest, better that than kick him in the nuts, that would have been rude, however I venture such an exercise would no doubt have been most enjoyable.

Good on ya girl, fight hypocrisy with hypocrisy.

Sure the truth is not worth a damn in this neck of the woods

dayshah

snuggles09 wrote: »

for my niece..what am i to do? refuse to be my god daughters sponsor? dont think so..on paper (or written here) then maybe yes thats what SHOULD be done but in reality we all just get on with it..i'm not in the minority by any stretch of the imagination..there are plenty of children who made their communion and confirmation this year who havent seen the inside of a church for the rest of the year

Are you her god-mother? Do you know the role of the god-parents?

I've absolutely no problem with people who dislike the church, but this is sheer hypocrisy.

snuggles09

dayshah wrote: »

Are you her god-mother? Do you know the role of the god-parents?

I've absolutely no problem with people who dislike the church, but this is sheer hypocrisy.

would you give over, there are hundreds of people on this forum who i guarantee can't even tell you who their godparents are and their parents cant even remember..jesus! (no pun intended:D)

deisemum

snuggles is far from alone in her view and so many parents who would prefer not to have their children baptised feel pressurised to do so to stand a better chance of getting into their local school otherwise they're often the ones at the bottom of the list especially if trying to get their child into an over-subscribed school that happens to be a catholic school.

I used to be a regular church goer and had my children before the church scandals came to light like they did and knowing what I know now I regret having had them baptised. My younger son made his confirmation last month and I pleaded with him not to and offered him money if that was the only reason he had for making it.

I have my faith but I no longer want to be associated with the catholic church and feel strongly enough about it that I've downloaded the forms to defect from the catholic church and followed all the advice given on www.countmeout.ie site. I've gone and done the research into having a non-catholic funeral and all that goes with it. I've informed my family and I'm in the process of putting things in place to prevent my husband from organising a catholic funeral if I go before him.

I've informed my sister that I will not be able to act as my godchild's sponsor at his confirmation in a couple of years.

My younger son doesn't even know his godparents as we lost touch over the years.

I wouldn't shake hands with the bishop but I'd tell him straight why I wouldn't do so and yeah it would give me some degree of pleasure.

snuggles09

my partner downloaded the count me out form as well..i havent looked at it yet so i dont know what it entails

i'm just imagining the rift it would cause within my family as both my parents are extremely religious and are regular church goers but they accept my decision not to get married in the eyes of god and have a civil ceremony instead

they were proud as punch watching my daughter making her communion and to them it means a lot so i suppose thats another reason personally for me as to why they will all make their communion and confirmation

as much as i disagree with what has gone on with priests and children etc i still have a belief in God and i don't want them to miss out on their communion and confirmation days as to them it's a big deal and my daughter badgers me something chronic to go to mass so often i let my mother take her on a Sunday as she knows how I feel about it and I don't like going to church..my daughter also has a childrens bible that she reads in bed sometimes and if i'm honest would know more than me when it comes to the bible..i don't force her but she learns things in school and then reads when she comes home..if as she grows older she decides become a religious woman that is totally up to her..i'll stand by her regardless and won't force my views on her..i would never do that to any of my children..they can make up their own mind and likewise if they ever came and said they didnt want to make their confirmation etc that would be ok as well, it's their choice..they have been baptised into the Catholic faith and I can't change that now so I will just continue to support what they learn in school and back them up in whatever they want to do

fair play to you Deisemum for having that conversation with your son..i havent reached that point yet as my elsdest is only 8 but if the time comes and she has any questions I'll answer her honestly

It's the time we live in in modern Ireland and although a lot on here don't agree with my and may think I'm hypocritical in my approach I can take that on the chin as I know at the end of the day I'm happy that I'm doing the right thing for me personally and also for my extended family and as much as I'd like to say screw the church it would cause a massive rift and i'm not willing to upset my children or my family just to be seen to be "standing up and be counted":)

giles lynchwood

in the day's of the punt it would have been 20,just convert that into euro and bob's your uncle

dayshah

deisemum wrote: »

I've informed my sister that I will not be able to act as my godchild's sponsor at his confirmation in a couple of years.

I've no problem with that. You have your views and are sticking to them.

What I've a problem with is someone who uses Church facilities, goes through the motions, but won't make any contribution because they say they don't believe in what they are doing.

Even if someone isn't religious but gets their child baptised for the sake of their parents should still make a contribution (if they can afford it), at the very least out of courtesy to the priest. If someone can't afford anything they can offer the priest to visit for a cup of tea.

snuggles09

voluntary definition
vol·un·tary (väl′ən ter′ē)
adjective

1. brought about by one's own free choice; given or done of one's own free will; freely chosen or undertaken

i'll say no more:)

Yes Boss

I believe at this stage they should be paying you to bring your child to the church!! A discredited organisation that have played a central role in fe(king up Ireland, who peddles a story that is so far from reality....



Ask them how much is your patronage worth to them!!!;)

dolliemix

Some of the opinions here are so immature.

Yes Boss wrote: »

I believe at this stage they should be paying you to bring your child to the church!!



Ask them how much is your patronage worth to them!!!;)

There is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes ...upkeep and maintenace of Church itself, electricty etc Giving 20 euro/50 euro/ not giving at all is fine. It is voluntary and you won't be forced to pay anything. But bringing up the abuse cases to refer to every single service that Church offers and suggesting that they should be offering all their services for free or pay people for participating is crazy!

Yes Boss

dolliemix wrote: »

Some of the opinions here are so immature.



There is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes ...upkeep and maintenace of Church itself, electricty etc Giving 20 euro/50 euro/ not giving at all is fine. It is voluntary and you won't be forced to pay anything. But bringing up the abuse cases to refer to every single service that Church offers and suggesting that they should be offering all their services for free or pay people for participating is crazy!

Depending on ones opinion!!

deravarra

Yes Boss wrote: »

Depending on ones opinion!!

Sure! and some of the arguments are so lame for not giving the priest the money...

None of ye would be making such a forceful argument for the bank charges ye would have to pay in light of the banking scandal ...

Nor the solicitors fees after all the money they took out of our pockets with the tribunals ...

Yet the church gets it in the neck because of the recent scandals.

When the ESB takes payment in hail mary's and our father's then yer argument might have some legitimacy.

As for the argument that the priests have free houses and cars, and a maid as well - ye must be watching father ted. nothing could be further from the truth. a priest has to pay for everything. he gets the use of a house for the duration of the time he works - and after that he must find accomodation in his retirement years. all us who are paying a mortgage dont have that lumped on us at our retirement.

when people have their weddings they have no problems paying hundreds and thousands to a photographer and video man ... but the few quid to the priest can be so miserly it beggers belief. I remember a friend of mine getting married and he said he wouldnt be paying the priest - "after all, he's going to be fed at the afters" ... i told him to give the priest a few quid - he'd probably prefer to go to macdonalds rather than a boring old wedding meal with everyone talking about father ted.

a serious dose of cop on needed by most here!

btw - im not christian

Spacedog

How about a recept for a donation to the rape crisis center?

Yes Boss

Do the Church pat tax on all that cash they collect?

deravarra

Spacedog wrote: »

How about a recept for a donation to the rape crisis center?

thats a little bit stupid - considering the majority of cases of csa come from within families ...

how about a meaningful reply if you can manage one?

deravarra

Yes Boss wrote: »

Do the Church pat tax on all that cash they collect?

The "church" is a registered charity. In the case of wages, yes it must pay taxes - just like any registered charity.

Yes Boss

deravarra wrote: »

The "church" is a registered charity. In the case of wages, yes it must pay taxes - just like any registered charity.

A charity is "a foundation created to promote the public good (not for assistance to any particular individuals)". The Church certainly does not fit that definition of what a charity should be!!

A charity is "a kindly and lenient attitude towards people". They don't particularly fit that definition either!!

A charity is "an activity or gift that benefits the public at large". Sorry, i just can't seem to put Church and Charity in the same sentence!!

deravarra

Yes Boss wrote: »

A charity is "a foundation created to promote the public good (not for assistance to any particular individuals)". The Church certainly does not fit that definition of what a charity should be!!

A charity is "a kindly and lenient attitude towards people". They don't particularly fit that definition either!!

A charity is "an activity or gift that benefits the public at large". Sorry, i just can't seem to put Church and Charity in the same sentence!!

Perhaps not in your eyes, but the "church" is registered as a charity in this country, and many more across the world. I'd be a bit worried about it losing its charitable status considering the comments made here - in blissful ignorance about the financial reality that faces every man of the cloth.

In this day and age, 50 for christening isnt much - and afaik, not 100% goes to the priest ... the bulk of it goes towards the "stipend" fees - paid back to the diocese so they can pay the priests. where do you think they get the money to pay the priest in the first place?

Yes Boss

deravarra wrote: »

Perhaps not in your eyes, but the "church" is registered as a charity in this country, and many more across the world. I'd be a bit worried about it losing its charitable status considering the comments made here - in blissful ignorance about the financial reality that faces every man of the cloth.

In this day and age, 50 for christening isnt much - and afaik, not 100% goes to the priest ... the bulk of it goes towards the "stipend" fees - paid back to the diocese so they can pay the priests. where do you think they get the money to pay the priest in the first place?

From the wealthiest bank in the world - The Vatican!!

deravarra

Yes Boss wrote: »

From the wealthiest bank in the world - The Vatican!!

Eh - thats NOT how it works ... maybe if you bothered to find out the facts, then you might know

littlecat

I pity the OP who asked a simple question!

No priest will mind not being given a contribution after a christening - however I think that considering what will be spent on the outfits for various family members and for the function / caterer, it's nice to offer something to the only person present apart from the baby without whom the occasion would not be happening at all. €50 sounds about right I'd say but it really depends on the family's circumstances whether they increase or decrease that amount.

A simple friendly thank you, a chat, and a show of appreciation might make his day, especially if he, like the majority, is an innocent hard-working man who has spent the rest of his day listening to how much the church is hated.