Any advice at all

LegacyUser

Made great friends with a girl last year. Had so much fun together, really got on. Pretty much had no boundaries, we were like best friends doing everything together Her boyfriend broke up with her soon after our friendship began. I started giving her more and more of my time as friends do when one is in need.

However, a little after Christmas I noticed the strain it was having on my life ...seeing less of my other friends, work and my boyfriend were all suffering and i felt likie i just wasnt having that much fun anymore. In addition, intergrating her into a number of groups of friends just wasn't that easy and I felt like if I was doing something with another person, if i had invited her before, then id have to invite her again.... it was all getting so much for me. Id start feeling relieved when she had plans so i could just do my own thing. Because if i wasnt available to do something she asked why, what was i doing and who with? when asking it wasn't so explicit as that and she often caught me off guard so i just had to give her details. I freely did it before because she was a really good, fun friend that was just showing interest but now i feel its more

So i started pulling back a bit. Work got really busy and i just didn't have the time to constantly text and provide updates. I did everything but say IM BUSY LEAVE ME ALONE. Which wasn't enough. I want to be friends with the girl. i like her a lot but i don't have that much time to give her anymore and i don't want her keeping tabs on me.

That's just a little background. The crux of the situation is how do i go from having a close intense relationship constantly texting and meeting up and doing evrything to a little bit more healthy.

Yesterday, she rung asking me to do something Friday i said i couldn't had plans but an around another day. conversation continued. then after a while casually says..oh what are you doing Friday night so? I give a general meeting a friend answer and then im asked who am i meeting? Its really difficult on the phone not to answer that. By text, i can just ignore it..then iv been asked if its a secret.. but on the phone I just don't know what to say.

Some might say she is just showing interest but i feel its more than that at the moment and i genuinely don't know how to handle it.

The last thing i want to do is hurt her feelings. and sitting down and talking about it openly makes me cringe...I left it go on for so long...

Any advice much appreciated.

marlie2005

Have been through this a few times myself..
I seem to make friends easy that just stick to me.. I find the best way to shrug them off a little is to do what your doing and backing off, but keep at it. You will be surprised how you may miss them when they are gone completely so try not to fall out, but back off and don't be worried what they might think and get on with Your own life...
They will learn to get on with their own life and sometimes you will get to do stuff together and it will be fun one again...

Denimgirl

You could say I have a lot on with my family and been neglecting my bf a bit so we'll meet once a week say you need to create a balance in your life.