Sexual Assault

Jilly19

Ok so basically iv been struggling to cope with a sexual assault that happened 4 years ago to me and my sister. She seems to be coping fine and has moved on(has a boyfriend and a baby).But im struggling to let go of the past even more so since March as this man was named and shamed by others that he had done the same too wen they were young!! I feel like this man has ruined my life to the point that iv taken overdoses! iv tried counselling but it only helps for a short period and i really dont want to go back to my GP cause she will just put me back on anti depressants which i really dont want to!

Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with this??

biomed32

hey there OP, first off, I cannot imagine the trauma, grief and pain you and your sister have gone through as I myself have never experienced what you have gone through. What I have experience is the sudden loss of a friend through sucide, and attempts made by another friend. what helped me was talking to my mates who knew my friend well and that has finally helped heal some old wounds. what I would suggest is that you get in contact with a rape support group, you may find that talking to people that are in the same situation as yourself may help you. the dublin rape crisis center may be a starting point for you

http://www.drcc.ie/services/index.htm

some churches may be a good place to start, they may be able to point you to community support groups in your area. I wish you the best of luck and remember its going to take as much time as it takes

Morlar

I would second the above - the rape crisis centre may be best placed to help you, or, point you in the direction of people who can.

Extrasupervery

Wish I could help but I'm looking for the same answers.

Just talk to people - use every resource you have x

Jilly19

I have gone to the drcc but found that it didnt help and then i saw sum1 over in the states which did help for a while. Id go back to my GP but im afraid that she will put me back on anti depressants again! i really dont want to be on them as at this point i feel as if im all out of options. I feel so lost and alone with this and dont know were to turn to next!


On a brighter note iv got 2 beautiful nieces and 2 gorgeous nephews so i will try anything to be happy again for them!

biomed32

if you dont want to go on anti-depressants dont, make it clear to your GP on that part, he cant force but only advise you on the matter, hope it helps

Odysseus

OP it can be trial and error but find yourself a good therapist, I have worked with many people who have been raped, I done some training with DRCC a number of years ago resulting in the fact I would not refer anyone there. There is a sticky in the psychology forum about finding a accredited psychotheapist/psychologist. Best of luck with it.

Jeweliette

Odysseus wrote: »

OP it can be trial and error but find yourself a good therapist, I have worked with many people who have been raped, I done some training with DRCC a number of years ago resulting in the fact I would not refer anyone there. There is a sticky in the psychology forum about finding a accredited psychotheapist/psychologist. Best of luck with it.

I was just wondering why you say this exactly ?

The Rape Crisis Centre is usually the first port of call for most rape victims who look for help and it is also the only free service available to victims which in this economic climate must be very important.

If the service is below par I'd say alot of people would like to know why.

Odysseus

Jeweliette wrote: »

I was just wondering why you say this exactly ?

The Rape Crisis Centre is usually the first port of call for most rape victims who look for help and it is also the only free service available to victims which in this economic climate must be very important.

If the service is below par I'd say alot of people would like to know why.

The there are quite a few reasons and I don't want to get too technical about it. Firstly, you are correct its the first port of call for many people who experience sexual violence.

I'm not trying to get referrals here but I'm very experienced and qualified in the psychotherapy field, I found their training to be of a poor quality, and this will reflect on how they function as therapists. I also have many years experience of experience with the addiction area; now I had a discussion on with them around sexual violence its impact and the ability to work with people on methadone, the next day they got their director down to raise the topic with me.

There view was if a person on methadone and a victim of sexual violence that basically little or no work could be done with them. Its an outdated view point and tbh they could not back up this statement except by stating "we have asked the experts in the field and they told us so". These so called experts would have no experience of working around that issue with people on methadone, and in general will not work with recovering people on this issue for a number of years, an other outdated viewpoint [it may apply to some individuals but not everybody].

As I said I found there training to be of a low standard, my co-workers and myself would strongly disagree with the above statements, I would not view myself as an expert, however, if there are any experts on working with sexual violence in the above context really we would be the ones.

It would be easy to said that will not apply to most people seeking help, however, if your lacking in one area, ones ability to train others is considered poor and I also had ethical issues with some of their stuff, I would on those grounds not consider it to be a place I would refer to. I don't need to in anyway as I quite capable and qualified to deal with the matter in my own practice.

Now with saying the above I cannot deny that they must have helped a lot of people over the years, but you asked me to stand over my opinion and hopefully I have got my viewpoint accross, the OP themselves did not find them helpful IIRC without checking back.

Edit: All I can add to this this is its my personal opinion as a profession who deals with such topics.

Later edit: Unless something has changed that I'm unaware of it's only the first six sessions that are free.

Jeweliette

Odysseus wrote: »

Edit: All I can add to this this is its my personal opinion as a profession who deals with such topics.

Later edit: Unless something has changed that I'm unaware of it's only the first six sessions that are free.

Thank you very much for your response Odysseus.

I know a teacher who did a course with them recently and from looking through the literature she got I had presumed that they were the experts. It's interesting to get some extra insight from you and from reading the experiences here.

Odysseus

Jeweliette wrote: »

Thank you very much for your response Odysseus.

I know a teacher who did a course with them recently and from looking through the literature she got I had presumed that they were the experts. It's interesting to get some extra insight from you and from reading the experiences here.

In terms of research I would be of the opinion that they are on top of their game, it's more practice issues I would have problems with. However, with saying that due to the numbers of people they deal with, I don't think I can deny that they do help some and maybe a lot of people. However, I just would not send a client there or indeed a family member/friend if the need arose. Again personally I tend to switch off when I hear that word expert.

_Whimsical_

Odysseus wrote: »

In terms of research I would be of the opinion that they are on top of their game, it's more practice issues I would have problems with. However, with saying that due to the numbers of people they deal with, I don't think I can deny that they do help some and maybe a lot of people. However, I just would not send a client there or indeed a family member/friend if the need arose. Again personally I tend to switch off when I hear that word expert.

I think we all do... but many of us because we just like to believe that there really are "experts" out there that can tackle the difficult stuff that we can't. It makes the world a slightly safer place.

I think it's good to question any organisation that has assumed the "expert" mantle to be sure it's deserved. I think most people would presume that their real expertise lies in the practical side of their work. Interesting to know that it may not be so , or at least that it's not everyones experience of them.

Odysseus

chilly wrote: »

I think we all do... but many of us because we just like to believe that there really are "experts" out there that can tackle the difficult stuff that we can't. It makes the world a slightly safer place.

I think it's good to question any organisation that has assumed the "expert" mantle to be sure it's deserved. I think most people would presume that their real expertise lies in the practical side of their work. Interesting to know that it may not be so , or at least that it's not everyones experience of them.

You right and its important for me to note that I am merely speaking of my opinions on this topic, other I'm sure would disagree with. However, it a balance between making my point and not wanting to undermine their work.

Jilly19

Can anyone recommend a good counsellor? I was looking in the psychology forum and there are a few links but there are so many! im looking for 1 in Dublin 7 or city centre

Esoteric_

I'd like to warn you to stay as far away from the rape crisis center as possible.

I was raped repeatedly by an ex partner, and my "counsellor" in the DRCC told me that I allowed myself to be raped, what he did wasn't actually rape (didn't realize physically forcing me to do it wasn't rape nowadays!) and likened how I feel about being raped to how she feels when her boss gives out to her, saying that everyone feels like that and THEN asked do I even want to get better. Their counsellors don't seem very well trained at all, and I have since started doing some studying to become a therapist myself, which has further shown me how incompetent some of the staff there are.


What helped me, when counselling and meds didn't work was going to cognitive behavioural therapy. I will admit, it was a short term fix (I did it for a year) but after that, I overcame my aversion to meds and am on meds that help me a bit. Have you considered looking into other therapies rather than just counselling?

EDIT: I was never given any free RCC sessions. I had to pay from day one.

Odysseus

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I'd like to warn you to stay as far away from the rape crisis center as possible.

I was raped repeatedly by an ex partner, and my "counsellor" in the DRCC told me that I allowed myself to be raped, what he did wasn't actually rape (didn't realize physically forcing me to do it wasn't rape nowadays!) and likened how I feel about being raped to how she feels when her boss gives out to her, saying that everyone feels like that and THEN asked do I even want to get better. Their counsellors don't seem very well trained at all, and I have since started doing some studying to become a therapist myself, which has further shown me how incompetent some of the staff there are.


What helped me, when counselling and meds didn't work was going to cognitive behavioural therapy. I will admit, it was a short term fix (I did it for a year) but after that, I overcame my aversion to meds and am on meds that help me a bit. Have you considered looking into other therapies rather than just counselling?

EDIT: I was never given any free RCC sessions. I had to pay from day one.

Hi thanks for your post. Without going in to personal details I was wondering if I could ask you a question?

Do you think CBT is good option for such issues? Especially due to the impact such an experience can have and the short term nature of CBT. I trained as a psychoanalyst myself so of course I'm baised towards that approach, I'm not anti-CBT either I have done limited training in it and some of my friends and co-workers work that way. Just interested in your opinion on it as you are now in a place where you have experience on both sides of the fence so to speak.