In this thread pretend to be female

Tar.Aldarion

sure thing madam.

*motorboat*

/tips cap

Dudess

Unsolicited motorboat though - *slap*
Motorboat that promises a reward - "tee hee hee hee HEE!"

Pauleta

I choose men over how much they earn rather than looks or personality

Killer Pigeon

< copy and paste from the Lady's Lounge >

My boobs have recently shruken big style and now they are more of a little handful. Thing is now I can wear tops without a bra, but I kinda wondering am I a bit old to be wearing a top without a bra. I'm 34 and three quarters.

It's not that you can see them bouncing about, it's just that you'd know by the top or the straps that I am not wearing one.

gingelion

I love this song, its all about me. What do you mean i'm singing the wrong words?

Hmmm, how can i look more orange?

That woman on tv who happens to be very attractive is more than likely a total retard and is wrong about whatever she said.

Dudess

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I'm havign my peroid you insensitive bastard

But at the same time: "How dare you say menstruation makes women cranky - bastard!"

starbelgrade

CorsetIsTight wrote: »

I have never watched any of the soaps.
I have never read any of the gossip magazines.
I always have at least one book on the go, but have never read anything that could be classified as chick-lit.
When I followed Formula 1, I used to get up at 3am to watch the Australian race live, rather than wait for the repeat.
I don't own and have never used a hair straightener.
I don't use fake tan.
Since I left home I have worked and supported myself financially.
Among other things, I can double-dig, wire a plug, sharpen a knife, change a tyre, use a drill, put up a shelf, and map a network drive. (Although not all at the same time.)
I can read a map.
I can have an orgasm if I want one, even if I already had five in the previous fifteen minutes.


.

I have just one question after reading that.


How big is your cock?

cruiser178

PK2008 wrote: »

Is it weird that this thread has made me love women even more?

thats not weird,your just more clued in then most

back on topic
I hate you,your a bsaterad,morning wood to you means something you light the fire with,you neglect this vag that GOD gave you,you and your mother are cnuts.....im horny

MistyCheese

cruiser178 wrote: »

morning wood to you means something you light the fire with

I hate "morning wood, I'm not even awake yet and you expect me to, you know, do things, well, wake UP and do things.... Are you out of your mind???!

Why not try instigating relations at 2pm, when there's a chance I'll be a) awake, b) available and c) somewhere close to "the mood"? 6am is NOT a good time for me and FYI, tuning my nips like you're trying for the early broadcast of Liveline does not turn me on as much as you'd think.

Tar.Aldarion

uh you dont have to do much in the morning heh heh. afternoon is all usy busy...lying in bed for hours should take place early silly

Snowie

MistyCheese wrote: »

I hate "morning wood, I'm not even awake yet and you expect me to, you know, do things, well, wake UP and do things.... Are you out of your mind???!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh waking up the nice way

nothing beat it well getting woken in up the really nice way...

cruiser178

MistyCheese wrote: »

I hate "morning wood, I'm not even awake yet and you expect me to, you know, do things, well, wake UP and do things.... Are you out of your mind???!

Why not try instigating relations at 2pm, when there's a chance I'll be a) awake, b) available and c) somewhere close to "the mood"? 6am is NOT a good time for me and FYI, tuning my nips like you're trying for the early broadcast of Liveline does not turn me on as much as you'd think.

off topic again
your obviously not a man,morning wood is something a healthy man cant help.
As for the rest of your post,blahhh

Tar.Aldarion

yeah snow, being woken up to find out you are having sex in the middle of the night is the best thing ever... first time was...huh...WTF is going on...OH.

morning is just fun to poke em awake. arrrr

Snowie

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

yeah snow, being woken up to find out you are having sex in the middle of the night is the best thing ever... first time was...huh...WTF is going on...OH.

morning is just fun to poke em awake. arrrr

Theirs always one who takes it that little bit further isnt there, that could go two ways.
i hate women who wear pjs :mad:
Its ok man Il councill you bassiacly il dangle you of the edge of a cliff while your half a sleep wel see whast worse

starbelgrade

Reminds me of Frankie Boyle talking about those condoms that help men with premature ejaculation - they have something on the inside which numbs the penis slightly, reducing sensitivity & thus delaying the ejaculation...

Or as he said, you can turn it inside out, have sex & no need to wake anybody up.

sxt

Shocked that a 'In this thread pretend to be male' thread was not posted up with venom two hours ago!

TheTosh

There's no such thing as premature ejaculation, its a myth made up by women who can't have orgasms.

Mackman

"oh my god, im so fat, im so depressed"

Guy: Whats wrong?

Girl: Nothing, im fine

"i cant believe he doesnt know whats wrong. look at him, acting as if everything is fine, what a bastard"

alwaysadub

sxt wrote: »

Shocked that a 'In this thread pretend to be male' thread was not posted up with venom two hours ago!

Ah,i think with the amount of men v women on this forum,we'd have been screwed
Don't think it would be as funny either!

cruiser178

sxt wrote: »

Shocked that a 'In this thread pretend to be male' thread was not posted up with venom two hours ago!

im lost,maybe its the bacardi,but thought this was try to be female thread....its the bacardi..is'nt it

Tar.Aldarion

starbelgrade wrote: »

Reminds me of Frankie Boyle talking about those condoms that help men with premature ejaculation - they have something on the inside which numbs the penis slightly, reducing sensitivity & thus delaying the ejaculation...

Or as he said, you can turn it inside out, have sex & no need to wake anybody up.

performa. they made me soooo angry, stupid marathon of sex feeling nothing
:mad:

alwaysadub

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

performa. they made me soooo angry, stupid marathon of sex feeling nothing
:mad:

:eek:
/throws out condoms that were bought without looking at them..

Tar.Aldarion

eh it would be fine for you prob and eventually numbness goes. but threw out 11 of the 12 in that box, ugh. was first time too, monsoon season for sweat :pac:

starbelgrade

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

eh it would be fine for you prob and eventually numbness goes. but threw out 11 of the 12 in that box, ugh. was first time too, monsoon season for sweat :pac:

WFT?!?!! Just fire it in to her, roll over, fart, say "you can finish yourself off, luv", then sleep. Like a real man.

x PyRo

Drove to the shops today.

Crashed a few times, Getting used to it now.

Tar.Aldarion

heh, problem witht hose is it's harder than firing it into her, believe me I did :pac:, but fecking anesthetic...it was like setting sex on the hardest difficulty. end guy is hard :mad:

questionmark?

I can be such a bitch but you know what firstly i'll give you head and then you can stick it where you want and even though i said it was ok i still think your a bastard for doing it and by the way does this text in this post make me seem like i'm fat? because i think mary's fat well she looks like she has gained a few pounds........................................../doesnt shut up for a a year

cruiser178

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

heh, problem witht hose is it's harder than firing it into her, believe me I did :pac:, but fecking anesthetic...it was like setting sex on the hardest difficulty. end guy is hard :mad:

hardest difficulty is the best setting,remember morning wood

Tar.Aldarion

hard to forget daily occurrence and when you are late... just what to do..decisions decisions

Dravokivich

accusing the fella yer with of being a racist, becuase he doesn't have the money to get a taxi and had to walk for 3 miles...

most insane chick i was ever with... but fúck was she hot...