Girlfriend pregnant and she has endometriosis

Big Mouth

Please help, I've just found out my 26yo GF is 8 weeks pregnant (i'm 26 too) which is an absolute bombshell to both of us.

She had a chip taken out from her arm about 3 and abit months ago as it caused her distress, also she has had lots of problems with periods and stuff because of the endometriosis.

We don't know what to do...we both love each other very much but it isn't the ideal time really for us career and financially wise.

What should we do? Will an abortion be a bad thing in the long run or will an unexpected pregnancy be worse?

Personally I'm more in favour of keeping and my GF is too but I don't know if we're thinking clearly...we would have always thought that one day we will have kids when we got married,although we didn't expect any of that for at least another 3 years?

Boxoffrogs

Relax, at 8 weeks, it's still very early and you have quite a bit of time to make a decision about whether you are ready to be a parent. All I would say to you is to make sure you keep it between you and your girlfriend (and perhaps some independent medical/counselling professionals) for the time being.

Any decisions you make should be yours alone, don't be clouded by the wishes of others.

To me, you sound like a caring person and your girlfriend is lucky to have someone so supportive.

Good Luck

argosy2006

trust me in two years when u have your kid walking around you will think its the best thing that has ever happened to you,

How Strange

OP, the decision to have or not to have the baby is one that can only be made by you and your gf. It's such a hugely personal decision and it would be unfair for anyone to say 'go for it' etc. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer.

All I will say is that you are shell shocked right now so neither of you are probably not in a proper frame of mind for deciding something like this. Myself and my OH were trying to get pregnant and we were shell shocked when we got the BFP. Finding out you or your partner is pregnant is probably the biggest life changing thing you'll ever experience.

Take some time to absorb the news, talk to a crisis pregnancy organisation as they can give unbiased advice, talk to each other and over the next few weeks decide what is best for you as a couple.

seamus

How Strange wrote: »

OP, the decision to have or not to have the baby is one that can only be made by you and your gf. It's such a hugely personal decision and it would be unfair for anyone to say 'go for it' etc. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer.

+1
Don't waste your time asking far and wide for "what will we do" answers. Everyone will have their own opinion, tainted by their own moral outlook and you will not find any answers that are right for you; instead you will only muddy the waters further.

All I will say is that you are shell shocked right now so neither of you are probably not in a proper frame of mind for deciding something like this.
..
Take some time to absorb the news, talk to a crisis pregnancy organisation as they can give unbiased advice, talk to each other and over the next few weeks decide what is best for you as a couple.

Again, +1. There's probably a link to a crisis pregnancy organisation at the top of this forum.

Only one piece of advice that I can give you to mull over:

it isn't the ideal time really for us career and financially wise.

Unless you win the lotto, there is never an "ideal time" to have a baby. There are always bills to be paid, things to be done and new career paths to be explored. You will equally find yourself in 3 years time saying that it's not the ideal time to have a baby. Yet 1,000 generations of our ancestors have done it succesfully, with a lot less time and money available to them than you have.

How Strange

seamus wrote: »

there is never an "ideal time" to have a baby.

+1

Even for my OH and I, we have a lovely wedding abroad coming up later this summer and we were thinking should we wait until after then we thought sod it, it could take us years to get pregnant and I'm no spring chicken!

OP, again this is your decision as a couple. Everyone has an opinion on something so try to avoid asking for it.

Swizzles

Hi Big Mouth..
Like you i was shocked to find out i was pregnant as i wasnt with my boyf for that long.We decided to make a go of it and keep the baby and im due in 3 weeks.However this may not be the route for you and your gf to go down ..
What you are asking is such a personal question the only two people who can decide what is right in your situation is you and your gf.

I do agree on the point there is never a good time money wise to have a baby but its not that expensive you just have to be clever with your money

What ever you decide you must make sure yourself and your gf are both on the same page and open and honest with each other..Otherwise this can lead to resent me and someone being forced into a decision their not comfortable with.

Good luck

Cherrycola

Hi Big Mouth.

I agree with everything thats been said here, only you and your gf can make the decision, and there is no ideal time to have a baby.

I was pregnant at 20, and after thinking about all the options i chose to go ahead with the pregnancy. To be honest, while i thought about abortion, the logistics of actually organising one was the main deciding factor, im lazy by nature.
It wasnt easy, myself and her dad split up when she was 5mths old, and a lot of sacrifices were made over the years, but never once have i regretted my decision. She is almost 13 now, and due to start secondary school in Sept.

Ive managed to travel, go to college, work, get married, yes it was a struggle at times, and i thought it would never end, but it does, it gets easier.
She is a great kid, and while sometimes i want to strangle her, i cant imagine life without her.

You are both 26, not exactly babies yourselves, so you are well capable of being parents if thats what you choose, so dont let that scare you.
Your life wont be over, yes you wont be able to spend all day Saturday in the pub drinking and all day Sunday in bed nursing the hangover, but when you hit your 30's, age will put paid to those sort of days anyway, not babies!
You'll be glad of the excuse not to go out "sorry, no sitter"

Im a great believer in things happening for a reason, and i was a bit of a wild child before i got pregnant, and my mother is convinced having her was the making of me. So maybe this is just lifes way of making you both rise to this challenge.

Again, this is just my experience of an unplanned pregnancy, but i wanted you to hear a positive story, as you might just be concentrating on the all the scary stuff at the moment.

Best of luck whatever you decide, im sure it will be the right decision for both of you.

bubbaloo

I'm not sure if this will influence your decision but it may be something to think about. And honestly that's not what I'm trying to do but I think it's better to make informed decisions and think about all aspects of the consequences of a decision.
I have endometriosis and went through 7 years of hell (including 2 miscarriages) before having my little boy last year. I suppose I'm trying to say that this could be a chance to have a child that may not happen again.
Good luck with it - I hope whatever decision you make will be right for the two of you.