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Advice Tar has given you

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  • 24-06-2010 8:33pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭


    1. Never walk alone in a dark area
    2. ALWAYS wipe front to back....and
    3. NEVER EVERbelieve someone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation
    these 3 pieces of advice tar has given me have helped me through a lot of tough patches


«1

Comments

  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Use less teeth.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Use more teeth.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    I thought him that. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,570 ✭✭✭sNarah


    Perfected usage of tongue in activating certain body functionalities.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    I thought him that. :D

    It's "tought" you illiterate punk!


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Fago! wrote: »
    It's "tought" you illiterate punk!

    Oh.
    That's bad.
    And you've quoted it now so I can't re-edit it.

    Damn.
    Pwnd.

    Except the correction you were looking for was "taught".

    :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,647 ✭✭✭✭Fago!


    Oh.
    That's bad.
    And you've quoted it now so I can't re-edit it.

    Damn.
    Pwnd.

    Except the correction you were looking for was "taught".

    :P

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Damn, I hate when I try to correct someone and get it wrong. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!

    I HATE YOU DOCTOR BOLLOCKS HEAD!!! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭entropi


    Tar's advice to me:

    Get laid while ye can, sure why not ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus


    If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Tar told me that I should never lock the door. It's much more exciting when you hear those footsteps on the stairs...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭sxt


    If you ever find yourself in difficult sticky situation, always ask yourself " What would Avril do.."


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    Im trying to follow Tars advice

    and with a bit of practice, dedication, specialist stretching exercises Im hoping to break into show biz as the only man who can actually go feck himself:D


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    haha! lots of laughing from this thread and partial arousing >_>

    and even a great flame by doctor B. It has everything! maybe not bewbs but hey...



    waits :mad:


    well I once told myself I wasn't drunk, bouncers still didn't let me in


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,261 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    • Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
    • Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
    • Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

    He's a fountain of knowledge that lad.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,352 ✭✭✭funky penguin


    Tar has given me much advice over the years, most of it in my anus.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    im going to rape you toaster, and not in the way people like


    I am sorry funkster....but that was my spunkster :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    If you can't lift her, don't shift her.

    thank you tar for saving me from back problems :P


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    +'t


  • Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Tar taught me to never trust a whitey.


  • Registered Users Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    sxt wrote: »
    If you ever find yourself in difficult sticky situation, always ask yourself " What would Avril do.."
    "If you ever find yourself in a difficult sticky situation, you know I've been round while you were asleep", more like! >.<
    Tar has given me much advice over the years, most of it in my anus.
    You're missing the initial "b" there, funky. ;)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,570 ✭✭✭sNarah


    sex. She says that a lot of sex is good for you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    She always told me it was good for her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,570 ✭✭✭sNarah


    Oh yeah - maybe that's what it was. Is that why the handcuffs are there for??


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    she advised me not to resist as I was only making it worse for myself


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Worse... Or BETTER?


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    she was smiling when she said it

    does that help?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    It helped me, anyway.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,352 ✭✭✭funky penguin


    Honey trap, with sweet sweet nectar.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    It acts as a good moisturizer for your skin you know. Tightens


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  • Registered Users Posts: 284 ✭✭Cinful


    Tar advice? Better include 6-pack! And muchies.


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