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  • 25-06-2010 9:23am
    #1
    albeit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭


    Is it possible for a birthmother to forget about having had an adoption?
    Can she go for long periods not remembering it, and then get a shock when she does?
    Just thought about those b-mothers that do not want to have contact, she might have really 'forgot' about it and then when the request for contact comes, she might go into shock.


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    #2
    OS119
    Registered Users Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    albeit wrote: »
    Is it possible for a birthmother to forget about having had an adoption?
    Can she go for long periods not remembering it, and then get a shock when she does?
    Just thought about those b-mothers that do not want to have contact, she might have really 'forgot' about it and then when the request for contact comes, she might go into shock.

    i'm not sure its physically (mentally?) possible to forget having a child, but i'm pretty sure that the mind can compartmentalise - either consciously or unconsciously - very traumatic events and allow the individual to go about life without referencing those memories.

    thats not the same as deciding not to make contact though - that is a rational (as in conscious, deliberate) decision made for, i imagine, one of three reasons: the BM just doesn't want to open those feelings again, that they have a 'new life' thats reasonably happy, and the arrival of the adopted child (and more importantly, the issues around the birth of that child) will throw everything into the air, or that that the BM believes the AC is better off without them.

    the two shouldn't be confused - one is what the conscious person does, one is what the mind does all on its own as a method of self-preservation.


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